Fear of Losing

[raiden031]

I used to have alot of fear of losing, and to overcome it I let it all go and I played every match with the expectation that I was going to lose. I played each match with the intention of working on my game, and not beating my opponent. I was playing 3.0 tennis and thought that it means nothing to beat these people, but what always mattered to me was that I can beat advanced players down the road. I realized that winning 3.0 matches presently was not a prerequisite to beating 4.0/4.5 players down the road. As long as I developed all areas of my game and got match experience (win or lose), I knew that one day all these people I was losing to would be beneath me. And suddenly I just started winning matches against both 3.0s and 3.5s and now I'm at a point where I need to rinse and repeat for 4.0/4.5 levels.

[ckthegreek]

I'm not sure I totally agree with the 'expectation that I was going to lose' statement raiden031 but I think I know what you mean.

As a coach I try teach my students - both young and adult - some simple techniques.

Some general stuff:

1) What are you afraid of? Get over the fact that you are not going to win every point, game and set you play. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose - that's simply the nature of the game. Get used to losing but also get used to winning. Don't be surprised when either happens. Just simply stop worrying what other people may or may not think if you lose. Do you do the same about them?

2) Stop thinking about you 'potential'. Potential is hard to measure as it's a moving feast. As soon as you win a match you automatically demand more from your self. Don't. Relax, it's only a game.

Some specific stuff:

3) Assess your game in a truthful and honest manner. Are you really at the top of your form? If not then don't have any great expectations. Treat the next match as another match in a long series that will get you 'there'.

4) If you lose lots and lots of matches then go down a category/level. Get confident again by winning some relatively easy matches.

5) Control your breathing! Breath in and out as you serve - very important.

6) Remember that when you are not playing the point you are 'out'. Nothing's won nothing is lost either. You're IN only when you are ready to serve or receive. Helps you relax between points.

7) Plan the point ahead. Stress levels go down if you have a rough idea about how you will play the point. Example: I'll serve a slice into his body and then hit a forehand to his backhand. Now you and I know that this may not quite work out as planned but it helps a great deal.

More to follow...

[herosol]

Originally Posted by ckthegreek

I'm not sure I totally agree with the 'expectation that I was going to lose' statement raiden031 but I think I know what you mean.

As a coach I try teach my students - both young and adult - some simple techniques.

Some general stuff:

1) What are you afraid of? Get over the fact that you are not going to win every point, game and set you play. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose - that's simply the nature of the game. Get used to losing but also get used to winning. Don't be surprised when either happens. Just simply stop worrying what other people may or may not think if you lose. Do you do the same about them?

2) Stop thinking about you 'potential'. Potential is hard to measure as it's a moving feast. As soon as you win a match you automatically demand more from your self. Don't. Relax, it's only a game.

Some specific stuff:

3) Assess your game in a truthful and honest manner. Are you really at the top of your form? If not then don't have any great expectations. Treat the next match as another match in a long series that will get you 'there'.

4) If you lose lots and lots of matches then go down a category/level. Get confident again by winning some relatively easy matches.

5) Control your breathing! Breath in and out as you serve - very important.

6) Remember that when you are not playing the point you are 'out'. Nothing's won nothing is lost either. You're IN only when you are ready to serve or receive. Helps you relax between points.

7) Plan the point ahead. Stress levels go down if you have a rough idea about how you will play the point. Example: I'll serve a slice into his body and then hit a forehand to his backhand. Now you and I know that this may not quite work out as planned but it helps a great deal.

More to follow...

agreed. Basicaly while we sat down before i started playing my matches, i just simply reiterate much what has been said. Lowered my own expectations, stay relaxed, and have fun. I mean of course i had some UE's or double faults but simply every point was just a new point. There was no thinking except: "serve down/out/body" or "return cross/down". I didn't try to force my footwork, i simply just let loose and played moderate shots.

Well i basically morphed into a more counter/all-arounder game that lacked any winners. I only hit "winners" off set-ups, and never really went for anything. I just played simple left and right, and its really helping. I'm writing down some thigns about how i feel, and basically trying to emulate what i've done since the beginning of this post.

[fuzz nation]

Sounds good, amigo. Keep on truckin'!

You know, sometimes you can simply outlast a lot of other players by just convincing yourself that there's no way that you're going to quit first. Once you believe that no matter what, your opponent will fold before you do, it can free your head up and let you play without a lot of unnecessary pressure. Just a thought.

Good thing this is a game - that means that it's practically your responsibility to have a good time out there, bud. Play-play-play!!!

[Puma]

Originally Posted by Kaptain Karl

I just read this whole thread. Like Fuzz, I'm a HS Coach. This is my contribution from that POV....

This was the "key" information in your posts, IMO. The adage "practice makes perfect" is wrong. The truth is Perfect practice makes perfect. Most HS players get on the court and bash the ball back and forth with little thought to what or why they are doing. (Then they call this "drilling".)

That's not "drilling;" that's just wasting time.

I happen to love doing game-based drills. The benefit is ... deep in the third set of a real match, I can remind myself how my drills have conditioned me to the point where I *know* I can [tough-out long rallies / make *that* passing shot / be more consistent than the other guy / etc.]. And most of my drilling times are physically tougher than any one measily match....

Here are some Mahboob Khan tips:

-- With a partner, keep the rally long, let's say 100-300 strokes without missing. (Your ability to hit winner on a suitable ball depends on your ability to control the ball for a long period of time.) If you miss, start over again.

-- Start a rally with a partner. After six strokes, play out the point. From cooperation to competition; from technique to tactics!

-- Start a rally with a partner. But now you must finish (win) the point within six strokes! No 7th stroke.

My suggestion is to focus on purposeful drilling. Becoming adept at many game-based drills will help your game AND help your confidence ... because you've drilled tougher situations than the match can produce ... if you are really drilling correctly.

(There are a few threads on this, but I can never get SEARCH to work on the phrase "game-based drill." Try Copy/Pasting a key phrase from one of Mahboob's drills above into SEARCH.)

You still have time before your season starts. You'll have a "leg up" on the other players if you begin implementing game-based drills now....

- KK

KK,

I like your post here. I hope the HS guys listen to this. That part about an extended rally will definitely show who has strokes and who doesn't. I have never done an extended rally for like 100 shots. I don't think I can do that right now as I will miss. This could also help with ball striking confidence, conditioning etc. Good Stuff....

[raiden031]

Originally Posted by ckthegreek

I'm not sure I totally agree with the 'expectation that I was going to lose' statement raiden031 but I think I know what you mean.

My philosophy is that one needs to not fear looking bad by losing to an inferior opponent. If you have the mindset that you are always the underdog, then there is less pressure. If you lose, then it was expected, if you win, then you performed above expectations.

The only caveat is that I think there are times to play for the win, and that would be if you are in a tournament or important league match. I competed and went undefeated at two USTA league Nationals events, so I know how to go for the win. But in the months/year or so leading up to it, I would play practice matches without regards to winning or losing, but just to work on my game. I didn't do this knowing that I would be playing at Nationals, but was concerning myself with what I wanted my game to be 2-3 years down the road. I knew if I practiced all aspects of my game during my match experience, that eventually things would just start clicking and my overall rating would jump. Thats kinda how it happened. So I lost alot during this process in order to develop a game where I can dictate play.

I see alot of league players who year in and year out play all their league and practice matches always to win, only with a game that is comfortable to them, never trying things that they aren't comfortable with.

Don't get me wrong, the reason for playing competitive tennis is to win. That is always on our mind, but its a matter of when you want to win. Winning at 3.0-3.5 doesn't matter to me, winning at 4.5 is what I'm after. So you need to decide if you want to play for the present or play for the future.

[Kaptain Karl]

Originally Posted by Puma

I have never done an extended rally for like 100 shots. I don't think I can do that right now as I will miss. This could also help with ball striking confidence, conditioning etc. Good Stuff....

On my college team (when 8-tracks were "Cool") we used to do Alley Drills to 100 shots. (Ground strokes with the Alley as the boundary.)

As we would pass 80 shots, my partner and I would *try* to make each other miss by mixing our spins / height / pace. (Seems crazy these days.)

Now we played with woodies and gut -- and my college had Har-Tru courts. But we could do this ... repeatedly.

I am a pretty steady player and I have yet to find a training partner who today can do this with me -- and reach 50(!!!). I believe today's frames and strings are so "power oriented" (and players don't really work on footwork and conditioning as much as we talk about doing so) that it really is more difficult with "modern" equipment. But I persist....

- KK

[Puma]

Originally Posted by Kaptain Karl

On my college team (when 8-tracks were "Cool") we used to do Alley Drills to 100 shots. (Ground strokes with the Alley as the boundary.)

As we would pass 80 shots, my partner and I would *try* to make each other miss by mixing our spins / height / pace. (Seems crazy these days.)

Now we played with woodies and gut -- and my college had Har-Tru courts. But we could do this ... repeatedly.

I am a pretty steady player and I have yet to find a training partner who today can do this with me -- and reach 50(!!!). I believe today's frames and strings are so "power oriented" (and players don't really work on footwork and conditioning as much as we talk about doing so) that it really is more difficult with "modern" equipment. But I persist....

- KK

Well, you may be right about it is more difficult now. But I would hazard to guess it is more difficult to find someone who can sustain a rally that long now for several reasons. I know that if I could do that I would or should have no fear of winning any 3.5ish match I find myself in.

I admit I am the player who "looks" for the ball to kill. Now my partners know this and expect this. Funny thing is I can outrun them all day. I can chase almost anything down and will. They know this. So, they give me balls to kill. And guess what? Yeah, I aint smart enough to NOT try the kill shot. I lose....So they are beating me with your strategy.

The whole reason posted here is that I know what you are talking about is truly what I need to do to get better.

Good lesson here for us 3.5ers.

Oh, and I was around when the 8 tracks were cool. So were T-tops, push top Coors cans and no remotes for a tv. That is why I was born.