Tantrums - The guy who scolds himself loudly

[mtommer]

Originally Posted by John55

To me it's hilarious to see someone cursing LOUDLY at every bad shot he does and every "getable" shot missed.

"GOD, Come on! GET THAT!" followed by some F-bombs
"JESUS, FOCUS FOCUS!"

I understand pumping yourself up once in a while and having a competitive spirit, but come on, every single bad shot? Even during practice hit-arounds?

Personally, I think all the cussing and yelling is poor etiquette on the courts. Let's reserve the tantrums to the 12-year olds and under.

Okay, cussing and yelling loudly may be a little too far. However, I routinely get annoyed everytime I miss a shot I could have gotten too or had time to setup for and I vocalize that annoyance. There is absolutely no excuse for the miss/bad shot. It's extrememly irritating and not acceptable to miss. Even if the shot was technically in but not hit where I wanted I still get annoyed and vocalize.

[mtommer]

Originally Posted by athiker

I also realized it actually gives the other guy a boost...they realize he's getting himself into a tailspin, even though he thinks he's helping himself focus and correct what he's doing wrong. I've seen opponents actually softly chuckle to themselves, and I've seen partners get increasingly annoyed. I've seen him play well and I've seen him have bad days...but I've never seen the self-berating spark a big turnaround within a match.

But for some of us we almost always follow up the bad shot with an equally good winner on the very next shot. *shrug*

[tennis tom]

Originally Posted by Sakkijarvi

I dunno, my approach since getting out of leagues is not to spend zero time with crazies on the court. In leagues I had to put up with all kinds of bad behavior, poor sportsmanship, dentists acting like they are at Wimbledon, all that jazz.

They can mate with one another, do the angry thing, whatever. I just can't spend my recreation/exercise time, which is valuable ... with them.

Can you tell us how you are setting up matches?

[EKnee08]

Alot of good points already made:

As stated by another poster, it probably started with Johnny Mac and guys imitating his behavior.

You see it because its a one on one sport as opposed to a team sport and most of the guys that do it in doubles are really singles players. The problem is that when you play doubles many people wouldn't want to be your partner when they have to be your therapist on the court. One reason to stop.

Alot of the guys who do it happen to be good guys and what they do is more a matter of lack of self-esteem/self-respect on the tennis court. It is not meant to disrespect the opponent across the net. However, it might be perceived that way so another reason to not do it if you can control it.

Funny and true comment that you don't see people freaking out at the office when they make a mistake, also because it is not acceptable and they could lose their job.

When an opponent sees you doing it, it empowers him.

One way to stop yourself is to imagine that there are young children watching you even if there aren't any there. Is this setting a good example?

Also is this the way you want to be seen in social circles and among business acquaintances?

This is a common problem that sports psychologists see in working with tennis players and there are books by Jim Loeb, Allen Fox, etc. on how to combat and control this.

I myself wrestled with this at one time. Interestingly enough, it never happened in just hitting only in competition, not just tournaments and leagues but also in sometimes in drills where there was a score.
Interestingly enough, it generally further lowers your level of play on the court since your mind is not quiet and focused. You become your behavior- poor level of play. By saying " I stink", you internalize the thought and your play will stink. It is much harder to get in the elusive zone when you are talking out loud to yourself as opposed to just internally. Mac was an exception.
Once I was able to stop showing my internal debate externally, my general level of play improved. Even if I was playing poorly, eventually in a match, my game would come around. This external behavior does not allow you to do so. One way to control it is by the "30 second" ritual between points advocated by Loehr.

Also, this behavior is a waste of energy, you need to conserve all the energy you can in a match.

However, its easier said than done. It is a bad habit like anything else which takes some effort to break.

[penpal]

I used to be a horrible offender - yelled at myself often and loudly - but have since learned the error of my ways and now am very quiet on court.

What did the trick for me was when my wife explained to me that my outbursts were not only embarrassing, but had the effect of making it seem I thought my opponent wasn't a good player. I knew I should be embarrassed, but frankly didn't really care what others thought. But I hadn't even considered how my actions might be perceived as a slight to my opponent and this realization caused me to change and change immediately.

In my warped mind, I was just frustrated with myself and so berating myself was no big deal. As soon as it was made clear to me that this might make my opponent feel bad, or be perceived by others as saying something akin to, "I should be beating this guy," that was it.

Even today though I have to consciously remind myself not to do it. My instinct is to berate myself when I'm frustrated (not just in tennis). I think I know what an alcoholic must feel like - I can't allow myself even one tiny outburst for if I do there is a real risk that the dam will come flooding down

[West Coast Ace]

Originally Posted by penpal

I used to be a horrible offender ...

I'm glad you're 'cured' - but don't agree with your wife's logic. If you were just ranting because of your own UEs that has nothing to do with your opponent, just you. The key is people won't want to play with you - your actions make many people uncomfortable. I played someone last year who would have been a good regular match; lived nearby, and had simliar open times. But his behavior was so bad (he had other issues besides yelling) I will never play him again - I couldn't tank the match fast enough and get off the court. As Sakkijarvi said, life's too short to deal with nut cases.

[jswinf]

Originally Posted by West Coast Ace

I'm glad you're 'cured' - but don't agree with your wife's logic..

I'd bet she was just practicing marital psychology--need that "back-up" reason to help the guy see the error of his ways. Acting more or less like a maniac was probably reason enough.

[orangettecoleman]

I just laugh and wave my arms around, or make weird "blaaaaagh" noises. I would never swear audibly though, that's kind of lame. Never goes beyond mumbling to myself and waving my arms around though. One of the guys I know in the league defaulted a match by walking off the court because he was sick of hearing the other guy screaming obscenities every time he made an error, can't blame him. The second guy got kicked out of the league the next week anyway...

[split-step]

I play better after I berate myself.
I just have to let it out and then I can start swinging freely again.

I don't care who is bothered by it.

[split-step]

Originally Posted by athiker

...but I've never seen the self-berating spark a big turnaround within a match.

Totally does for me.
But that's because I only self-berate when I KNOW I am playing like ***. It usually involves not moving my feet or playing too timidly.
Self berating somehow psychologically loosens me up. I don't do pent up frustration; it needs to be released.

Sometimes I hit myself with the racquet on my legs. The pain makes me lighter on my feet

Once I do that, I will usually start hitting winners.