I fell in love with a married woman.

[soyizgood]

So has the definition of love become so watered down? OP had a big crush on her. An infatuation. He lusted for her. Nothing wrong with that. It's just lust =/= love.

OP should be fine. Unless you somehow found love at first sight, this dejection happens to most of us, men and women. Just keep your head up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4go5eKroNUI

[ninman]

Originally Posted by Agent Orynge

Poor grammar notwithstanding, this says it all. This should be a FML post so we could all click 'you deserved it.'

I deserved it because I made a typo? I actually submitted it to FML, it was rejected.

[ninman]

Originally Posted by Bobby Jr

Are you Chinese?

If not, it was never going to happen if she was from a remotely traditional family. Many Chinese (and Japanese, and Thai and Malaysian for that matter etc) would go out with a foreigner no problems but when it comes time to get serious the vast majority invariably turn to their own people.

This is how things roll sometimes... I'm sure you'll get over it.

No I just live here, and yes I've experienced that a lot too.

[Agent Orynge]

Originally Posted by ninman

I deserved it because I made a typo? I actually submitted it to FML, it was rejected.

No, you deserved it because you don't know her. I don't know Kate Upton, what's my excuse for being in love with her?

[ninman]

Originally Posted by Agent Orynge

No, you deserved it because you don't know her. I don't know Kate Upton, what's my excuse for being in love with her?

You can't control who you're attracted to, she seemed to return my affections so I thought why not? What I did was totally normal behaviour, if I didn't talk to everybody that I didn't know then I would never talk to anyone.

[acura9927]

Well maybe it the novelty thing, a lot of Chinese woman want to taste a different dish if you get my drift. Being a white guy in China has many benefits.

[Agent Orynge]

Originally Posted by ninman

You can't control who you're attracted to, she seemed to return my affections so I thought why not? What I did was totally normal behaviour, if I didn't talk to everybody that I didn't know then I would never talk to anyone.

I think you need to start back at post #2 and re-read this whole thread. Nobody's telling you not to talk to people, they're just telling you not to 'fall in love' everytime you shake hands with someone. Oh god... you're not falling in love with me right now, are you?

[ninman]

Delete post.

[Agent Orynge]

Whoa whoa whoa buddy, you're going to get your own thread closed talking like that! What the hell does your research field have to do with anything? What does my nationality have to do with anything? High horse sure, but I can't believe you called me ignorant... sheesh. You're the one who doesn't even know what love is.

[ninman]

Anyway thanks a lot for the advice guys, well the good advice, I know what I'm going to do now.

[Agent Orynge]

Originally Posted by ninman

Anyway thanks a lot for the advice guys, well the good advice, I know what I'm going to do now.

I hope it isn't cut your ear off and give it to this girl. That didn't go over so well for Van Gogh.

[LanEvo]

Originally Posted by Bobby Jr

Are you Chinese?

If not, it was never going to happen if she was from a remotely traditional family. Many Chinese (and Japanese, and Thai and Malaysian for that matter etc) would go out with a foreigner no problems but when it comes time to get serious the vast majority invariably turn to their own people.

This is how things roll sometimes... I'm sure you'll get over it.

That makes me feel better.

[kimbahpnam]

My advice:

don't be a home wrecker.

[Kobble]

I remember something like this. Some married girl liked me, and I liked her. She made sure I heard she was married, but I approached her, anyway, as a friend. She was my professor, but she was cute. Anyway, guilt kept me away, but she approached me last.

For OP, it sounds like she has an open marriage. Make a choice.

[Meaghan]

Originally Posted by Bartelby

This was love, ninman, albeit erotic love, which lasts about two years according to research and then follows the love based on friendship often mistakenly referred to as love itself whereas erotic love is seen as infatuation.

She didn't think you were talking about someone else, she just pretended such so that she could tell you she's married. I think she wants you, but peril awaits.

You should listen to Mr. Bartlelby.......

[Tmano]

Originally Posted by ninman

I'm more like Niles Crane from Frasier. As attracted as he was to Daphne, when she was with someone he never made a move on her. I'm the same, while she's married I will just be her friend and nothing more. If she's happy I have no right to interfere, and besides we barely no each other, so it's not worth it.

If you think you don't have right to interfere then don't even be so nice to yourself saing "I will be only her friend" because we all know it's not going to work that way.
there are tons of good suggestions here to get over it.

I know you can get over this for sure

[AceOnTheLine]

You're not the first guy this kind of thing has happened to, and you certainly won't be the last!

Currently, I have a similar situation, but reversed. I'm not married but have been with a girl for a few years. My work situation means I travel a lot and this has made home life pretty tricky, recently I have found myself attracted to a girl I work with and I have reason to believe she has feelings back. These situations are never easy because ultimately, which ever way you slice it, somebody gets hurt.

I hope it works out right for you.

[Fearsome Forehand]

Originally Posted by ninman

Delete post.

Even better, delete thread.

[The_Question]

Originally Posted by ninman

I told her about my favourite movie ever called Life is Beautiful,

Never seen the movie, just can't get over the title. Very soon, you'll feel the same way I do...

[VaththalKuzhambu]

In which field is your PhD? Also, in which field do you teach as a lecturer?

Originally Posted by ninman

She's about 4 years younger than me actually, doing a masters degree. I should point out that I have a PhD and am a lecturer so in a way I'm kind of her "superior".