Whatever Happened To Common Courtesy?

[spaceman_spiff]

Originally Posted by r2473

"The world is going to hell in a hand basket" is a theme throughout human history. The industrial revolution. The automobile. The movies. TV. Computers. Cellphones.

These may all be manifestations, but it always has been and always will be a character issue.

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers." Socrates.

[tennis_ocd]

Originally Posted by NTRPolice

A season is NOT 9 months long... think about it...

Talk about lack of commitment; a failure to abstain and save his energy in preparation for his team tennis season.

[Taxvictim]

Captains can make a team fun and productive, or they can cause folks to swear off USTA forever. Common courtesy from captains would include letting partners play together if that was the deal when the partners signed up.

Courtesy includes calling a match off due to rain as soon as possible, and not expect your players to suit up and drive off to some club a half-hour away in the rain just to confirm that the courts are too wet to play. (Yes, I know it is a huge headache to reschedule rain-outs. But I would like to have my Sunday afternoon free if it is clear that the 200 mile wide storm system is not going to suddenly evaporate in time for the match. Don't tell me your leaf blower works great drying hard courts so you thought we might be able to play.)

Captain courtesy includes telling players up front if the team will be hyper-aggressive (always playing the very best players available), or if the team will be more social and the members will play equally. I will play on either of those teams, but everyone should know the deal up front.

Captain courtesy means the captain should know where he fits in the talent line-up. Putting yourself at Singles 1 all the time, even though you lose every week, is not a great strategy.

Rant over.

[r2473]

Originally Posted by NTRPolice

One year, one team failed to go to nationals because someone decided to have a baby even though it was decided beforehand that they were going to nationals. They only had 8. A season isnt 9 months long... im sure you can figure it out.


PS: I had some good laughs just now because that team captain still goes off about the baby situation till this day. He's not that mad anymore because hes going to nationals this year, but AFAIK those two still arnt talking. Keep in mind, the captain is like 50 and the dude who had the baby is like 30 but this little drama they had reminded me of some 16 year old high school girls on a talk show. They're both good guys, but this "situation" was hilarious. But I can say that, because I wasnt one of the people who were basically screwed out of a national title. haha.

I don't know why this poster is taking such a beating over this. The person who decided to have the baby made a commitment to the team that they didn't follow thru with and seemingly never had any intention of following thru with. That's the issue. Why on earth couldn't this guy just say "not this year, my wife is expecting in 6 months. I won't be available".

This person could have simply informed the captain as soon as they realized that they would not be able to honor their commitment, but apparantly chose not to. Thus, the entire team missed out on something that they had worked all year for.

Was this person selfish to have a baby? No. They were selfish to make a commitment to a team that they had no intention of honoring or at least not informing the team when they realized that they couldn't honor the commitment.

Originally Posted by spot

The funny thing is that this thread is about Cindy asking for completely reasonable things that are truly the bare minimum level of respect. Then the example you use is of the captain who is too extreme who expects people to make tennis their #1 priority no matter what. And then you use the most extreme example I have heard of a captain who is ****ed because a teammate wouldn't prioritize tennis over a pregnancy. I mean I thought that I knew the most extreme example of a guy who was ****ed that a guy wouldn't come back early from his honeymoon to play because "he made a commitment to the team" but being mad about a pregnancy!?

I think you completely missed the point.

[ATP100]

OP needs to take a hard look at herself......but she won't.

[arche3]

League tennis is just social. Life comes before this and good captains know this.

It's like some adult softball players who wear their league champ t shirts and think they know how Jeter feels to win the world series. Lol....

[tennis tom]

Originally Posted by r2473

I don't know why this poster is taking such a beating over this. The person who decided to have the baby made a commitment to the team that they didn't follow thru with and seemingly never had any intention of following thru with. That's the issue. Why on earth couldn't this guy just say "not this year, my wife is expecting in 6 months. I won't be available".

This person could have simply informed the captain as soon as they realized that they would not be able to honor their commitment, but apparantly chose not to. Thus, the entire team missed out on something that they had worked all year for.

Was this person selfish to have a baby? No. They were selfish to make a commitment to a team that they had no intention of honoring or at least not informing the team when they realized that they couldn't honor the commitment.



I think you completely missed the point.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

[NTRPolice]

Originally Posted by r2473

I don't know why this poster is taking such a beating over this. The person who decided to have the baby made a commitment to the team that they didn't follow thru with and seemingly never had any intention of following thru with. That's the issue. Why on earth couldn't this guy just say "not this year, my wife is expecting in 6 months. I won't be available".

This person could have simply informed the captain as soon as they realized that they would not be able to honor their commitment, but apparantly chose not to. Thus, the entire team missed out on something that they had worked all year for.

Was this person selfish to have a baby? No. They were selfish to make a commitment to a team that they had no intention of honoring or at least not informing the team when they realized that they couldn't honor the commitment.

I'm glad someone here understands what im saying.

It's too bad some people on this forum insist on acting like they're 12 and insinuating that this couple should have had an abortion or people shouldnt have kids if they want to play tennis.

[Tennis Truth]

Originally Posted by NTRPolice

I've seen people on "nationals" teams who do not even meet half of these qualities. One year, one team failed to go to nationals because someone decided to have a baby even though it was decided beforehand that they were going to nationals. They only had 8. A season isnt 9 months long... im sure you can figure it out.

Without more details about what happened, it is difficult to lump this in with "Whatever happened to Common Courtesy." Since the birth of a new baby seems so much more important than playing recreational tennis, I can see why people jumped on this.

The way you decided to write this up was also odd. You framed the probelm as "someone decided to have a baby" instead of "someone made a committment they probably should have known they would be unable to keep."

It also seems like you are saying this person committed to going to Nationals, then selfishly decided to have a baby instead.

Also, it seems odd that one person backing out would cause a team to not go to Nationals. Most teams I know about try to bring at least a couple of extra players, because things like this happen. Nationals is a lot of matches, and usually at least the singles players need a sub or two.

[spot]

Originally Posted by r2473

I think you completely missed the point.

THe world does not revolve around Tennis. Tennis doesn't have to be everyone's #1 priority. You are the one that has missed the point. The fact that a captain would be on non-speaking terms with someone because they prioritized their child over a recreational tennis match is absolutely ridiculous.

[r2473]

Originally Posted by spot

THe world does not revolve around Tennis. Tennis doesn't have to be everyone's #1 priority. You are the one that has missed the point. The fact that a captain would be on non-speaking terms with someone because they prioritized their child over a recreational tennis match is absolutely ridiculous.

I'm going to assume you are just trolling.

[floridatennisdude]

Originally Posted by r2473

I'm going to assume you are just trolling.

What you consider trolling, I see as blatant common sense.

[sureshs]

Originally Posted by NTRPolice

Ok geniuses...

A season is NOT 9 months long... think about it...

Either his wife hid the pregnancy for months or he committed to going to nationals without asking his wife first knowing they were having a baby.

Did I really have to spell that out for you?

When you said they "decided" to have a baby, I thought you meant it had happened in the recent past. Are you saying that she was well pregnant and this was about the time of the delivery itself?

[sureshs]

Originally Posted by floridatennisdude

What you consider trolling, I see as blatant common sense.

What you don't see is that he was being sarcastic and funny. He is like that.

[r2473]

Originally Posted by floridatennisdude

What you consider trolling, I see as blatant common sense.

OK

........

[NTRPolice]

Originally Posted by Tennis Truth

Without more details about what happened, it is difficult to lump this in with "Whatever happened to Common Courtesy." Since the birth of a new baby seems so much more important than playing recreational tennis, I can see why people jumped on this.

The way you decided to write this up was also odd. You framed the probelm as "someone decided to have a baby" instead of "someone made a committment they probably should have known they would be unable to keep."

It also seems like you are saying this person committed to going to Nationals, then selfishly decided to have a baby instead.

Also, it seems odd that one person backing out would cause a team to not go to Nationals. Most teams I know about try to bring at least a couple of extra players, because things like this happen. Nationals is a lot of matches, and usually at least the singles players need a sub or two.

If you want to assume that im an indecent human being and that im blaming someone for having an accidental baby (or a miraculous one) then sure. Seems like the only people who read it that way were already the people who seem to have personal problems (hence the "maybe they should have had a team fundraiser to get an abortion).


This relates to the theme of the thread...

Person commits to something they know they cant honor. If they had just said "we're having a baby on or about that time, maybe next year" there would have been ZERO problems.

It's quite common to build a sectionals/nationals team with 10-12 people, where they seek to commit 8-10 "will go's" before the season even starts. This way, if people want to join later, they can, but if no one else joins, you still have the minimum 8.

If you know you're the 8th, but you cant go, you just ruined 7 other peoples chance that year. Some of those people may be bumped up next year and never have the chance again all because you committed to something you couldnt realistically attend.

[OrangePower]

Originally Posted by Cindysphinx

I have captained teams continuously since 2006. Maybe it is my imagination, but it seems like more players are failing to honor their commitments nowadays.

Common courtesy is definitely lacking in many people, but I don't know that I've noticed it getting any worse.

Perhaps it seems worse to you because you are now captaining at a new level with newish players, whereas previously you had a larger number of repeat players?

[spot]

If you know you're the 8th, but you cant go, you just ruined 7 other peoples chance that year.

And for what!? To have a baby!? Unacceptable. You are ruining my chances of being 3.0 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. We have the chance to be the best group of lousy tennis players that has ever been assembled and you want to blow that just to bring another life into this world!? YOU MADE A COMMITMENT.

[LuckyR]

Originally Posted by r2473

"The world is going to hell in a hand basket" is a theme throughout human history. The industrial revolution. The automobile. The movies. TV. Computers. Cellphones.

These may all be manifestations, but it always has been and always will be a character issue.



This is a theme that is as old as human history as well. For some reason we all long for "the good old days that never really were".

Really? Are you denying that Cindy's observation is real?

I didn't read her OP as a Chicken Little style lament but a documentation of a minor but real observation.

[floridatennisdude]

Originally Posted by spot

And for what!? To have a baby!? Unacceptable. You are ruining my chances of being 3.0 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. We have the chance to be the best group of lousy tennis players that has ever been assembled and you want to blow that just to bring another life into this world!? YOU MADE A COMMITMENT.

Baaahahahahahaha