This thread makes me laugh, it really does!
There is one heck of a double standard in mixed. In practice, I hit an overhead really hard and it nailed a 3.5 dude right in the chest. I am sure it hurt; he was rubbing it for a while. I apologized (it was an accident, of course). He was OK with it. But everyone would have thought him the bad guy if he had hit me.
I have no idea what my 3.0 sisters are thinking half the time in doubles, though. They see the net player poaching or going for an overhead, and they just STAND THERE. Dang. I even yell, "Watch out, Susan!" and still she just stands there. I guess everyone has to eat fuzz before they understand.
Anyway, the standard here seems to be that male players go after the woman in mixed if (1) she can volley or (2) they are losing. Hey, if you can chase the woman off the net and get them playing two back, then you can keep the ball away from the man entirely. If there is a big disparity in their skills (a 3.0 woman with 4.0 guy), this is clearly what you do.
You don't have to take her head off, though. If you pass her down the alley or hit dippers right at her, she will miss if she can't volley and will beg to play two-back.
For me, the most important thing to do when playing mixed is make those early volleys in the match. If I can get them to respect my volleys and leave me alone, they are left to duke it out with my partner.