What are your favorite jokes during a social match?

S

sureshs

Bionic Poster
1. After a gruelling point, as the server is ready to serve, I will say "take 2."

2. After an incident during the first serve, like a ball showing up from another court, when the server is expecting me to say "take 2,", I will shout "Second serve."

3. When the opponent spins the racquet and asks up or down, I will say "Yes."

4. When the opponent asks me which side I want on a cloudy day, I will say "The sunny side."

5. If the opponent puts up a great lob which I cannot reach, I will say "you should add the lob to your game."

6. If I am hitting against a teaching pro and he hits a really good one, I will say "You are great and should consider teaching tennis."

7. If my partner is not moving, I will shout "The ban on movement was lifted yesterday."
 
Jim A

Jim A

Professional
I'm a bit more self-depricating

when I flub something its often followed with "I pay $50/hr to hit that shot"
 
S

sureshs

Bionic Poster
8. If we have a situation in mixed doubles where it is a guy and a girl against two guys due to scheduling constraints, I will ask "Which of you is the woman?"
 
PimpMyGame

PimpMyGame

Hall of Fame
If it's my service game and someone is trying to hit/pass the ball back to me between points and it goes in the net I shout "Don't worry, I'll get it" and charge the net.

I suppose you have to be there, really.
 
beernutz

beernutz

Hall of Fame
I like to say 'yours' right after my partner gets nailed in the body with a line drive shot. That always lightens the mood on court.
 
Last edited:
Cindysphinx

Cindysphinx

G.O.A.T.
I have to say, I saw the funniest thing today. Our opponent went to spin her racket. Her Yonex racket. This is the logo that was on her handle butt:

Yonex-RDS-26-Tennis-Racket.jpg


She patiently explains that the little circles were up and the little triangles were down. Or maybe the triangles were up and the circles were down? She says, "Call it." I say, "Uh, down?"

Then she starts spinning it in her hand so neither of us can see and says, "Say when." I decide to let her spin for a while to see if perhaps she would get a rug burn on her palm. Then I said, "Uh, when?" She spins it one more time and then shows me the handle. Circles up. I just stood there. Circles up, circles up, what did that mean? "Uh, did I win?" Apparently I had.

Dang. It's just a racket spin. Why all the hoopla?
 
mikro112

mikro112

Semi-Pro
sureshs said:
1. After a gruelling point, as the server is ready to serve, I will say "take 2."

2. After an incident during the first serve, like a ball showing up from another court, when the server is expecting me to say "take 2,", I will shout "Second serve."

3. When the opponent spins the racquet and asks up or down, I will say "Yes."

4. When the opponent asks me which side I want on a cloudy day, I will say "The sunny side."

5. If the opponent puts up a great lob which I cannot reach, I will say "you should add the lob to your game."

6. If I am hitting against a teaching pro and he hits a really good one, I will say "You are great and should consider teaching tennis."

7. If my partner is not moving, I will shout "The ban on movement was lifted yesterday."
Click to expand...

d25e1fcb.jpg
 
StringingIrvine

StringingIrvine

Semi-Pro
6. If I am hitting against a teaching pro and he hits a really good one, I will say "You are great and should consider teaching tennis."

3. When the opponent spins the racquet and asks up or down, I will say "Yes."

HILARIOUS!!!

Sometimes when i'm playing a good friend and i lose a point i'll say redo ball on. and they will say what ball, and i take out a ball in my pocket and toss it on the ground and say that ball.

Also on my serve i'll hold 2 balls in my hand and toss one super high and immediately dink the second ball into the service box. sort of a fake out. None of them are as good as yours though =p.
 
N

NickC

Professional
I have one, but I think I'll get a warning or a tempra-ban because it's sort of stereotypical and racist, but funny nonetheless. If KK lets me post it I will.
 
S

sureshs

Bionic Poster
11. There is a guy (let just call him by his real name Dan) who is notorious for never opening a can of new balls, but quietly waiting for someone else to volunteer. Once in a blue moon when he is forced to open his own can, we all start clapping.
 
1

10sguy

Rookie
Don't Miss!

When my partner is someone with whom I have a good relationship (and I know can handle it), I've occasionally said, "don't miss!," when they're about to hit what should be an easy point-ending putaway. Hey, we've all missed those shots, probably due to not focusing, right? I'm here to tell ya I've NEVER had a partner miss the "easy" putaway after I've uttered those words. I'm betting it makes 'em focus better!
 
BounceHitBounceHit

BounceHitBounceHit

Legend
sureshs said:
1. After a gruelling point, as the server is ready to serve, I will say "take 2."

2. After an incident during the first serve, like a ball showing up from another court, when the server is expecting me to say "take 2,", I will shout "Second serve."

3. When the opponent spins the racquet and asks up or down, I will say "Yes."

4. When the opponent asks me which side I want on a cloudy day, I will say "The sunny side."

5. If the opponent puts up a great lob which I cannot reach, I will say "you should add the lob to your game."

6. If I am hitting against a teaching pro and he hits a really good one, I will say "You are great and should consider teaching tennis."

7. If my partner is not moving, I will shout "The ban on movement was lifted yesterday."
Click to expand...

After an opponent hits a fault on a poorly executed toss, you can say "Good get!". ;) :twisted: BHBH
 
D

Deleted member 54373

Guest
If someone hits a fault or hits out I usually say "Return to sender" not much X__X
 
C

ChrisCrocker

Rookie
if someone serves and it lands far away from the service box, i say "just out by a bit" or if they hit the ball on to a different court "i think it was out"
 
jwr1972

jwr1972

Rookie
ChrisCrocker said:
if someone serves and it lands far away from the service box, i say "just out by a bit" or if they hit the ball on to a different court "i think it was out"
Click to expand...

I like that one and I also like to say "Let" when I get aced and also I'll say "Net, fault" on a ball that is way out that never touched the net. If I'm gassy, I'll let one rip, clutch my buttocks, and say, "Anyone have a Kleenex?"
 
S

steebo

Rookie
If any of my male friends hit a delicate drop shot, I always congratulate them on being able to play so well while menstruating.
 
S

steebo

Rookie
When my opponent hits a shot I can't return, I tell them I was thrown off by them playing so far above their skill level.
 
Bhagi Katbamna

Bhagi Katbamna

Legend
I have a couple of friends that are a bit overweight(but are really good players). Once one of them was playing in Iowa, and the other was watching. One of the locals said something to the effect of "you Hannibal(where I live) players seem to work out at the same gym." To which my other friend replied: "Yes, Old Country Buffet."
 
Bhagi Katbamna

Bhagi Katbamna

Legend
I told a friend who hit a down the line winner while playing someone else "that looked like Federer." After a pause of a few seconds while he was basking in the glory, I added "An older and fatter version of Federer with less hair."
 
I

iLose

New User
Haha, I like this thread.

Two of my favorites (which I probably use a little too often)

1) If I miss a serve or a shot way out I look at my opponent and very seriously ask "was that good?"

2) If I am every on the run and about to take a haymaker swing (a shot that goes out 99.9% of the time) at the ball, while im swinging I yell "RAFA!" or "ROGER!"
 
Cross Court

Cross Court

Banned
I just curse and yell at my opponent for hitting to my backhand.

Nah just kidding, usually if I don't like my opponent and he hits a ball that goes way out, I would say "Ooo, just out." Stuff like that. Usually I'm quiet when I'm playing someone I respect.
 
M

MNPlayer

Semi-Pro
Here's one I've heard a few times from guys after they hit a (rare) good shot:

"Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while."
 
S

sureshs

Bionic Poster
We have a guy who keeps saying things like "they used to call me Pistol Pete" or "they used to call me Rafael Nadal" after hitting a good one. So we decided to name him "Rafa Nada."

Get it? Nada = zero.
 
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