Girl Problem...

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rnrockz1

Guest
Ok I like this girl and I hang out with her a lot and I want to tell her that I do like her, but this other guy keeps on pleasing her and I think he likes her too. I don't know who she likes, though she gets pleased by him...I need help- do I tell her, or something! I'm so stressed out rite now from this:cry:..I'm trying to please her too! I've known her since I was child!
 
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O

OrangeOne

Legend
a. I think 'pleasing her' is possibly the wrong choice of words. I'd assume you meant "making her happy / making her laugh".

b. Just ask her out. Life's too short. If she says no, meet more people, ask another girl out. If she says yes, go out.
 
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rnrockz1

Guest
OrangeOne said:
a. I think 'pleasing her' is possibly the wrong choice of words. I'd assume you meant "making her happy / making her laugh".

b. Just ask her out. Life's too short. If she says no, meet more people, ask another girl out. If she says yes, go out.
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a. Yep thats what I meant
b. Thanks for the advice...easier said than done :/
 
O

OrangeOne

Legend
rnrockz1 said:
a. Yep thats what I meant
b. Thanks for the advice...easier said than done :/
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Life is easier said than done! Ever heard the saying that "nothing worthwhile is easy"? It's often true. What is there really to lose here? Nothing at all. If she says no, and she's a decent person, it shouldn't change much. If she says yes, it's great.

Either way, getting up the courage to ask this girl will help you infinitely when it comes to asking out the next girl if this one isn't the one!
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
Help Needed too!!

How about I like this guy a lot? He is a few years younger than I am. Should I go for it?
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
rnrockz1 said:
Im really stressed out tho....IDK what to do..
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Take her out for a nice meal and ask her out on a serious date. You must let her know your feeling about her since childhood. All the best:) -Tina
 
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OrangeOne

Legend
Tina said:
Take her out for a nice meal and ask her out on a serious date. You must let her know your feeling about her since childhood. All the best:) -Tina
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a. He said he's known her since childhood, not that he's loved her forever.

b. Is a nice meal not a serious date?

c. Also - a serious date or a nice meal is often initially way too much pressure. Spending time together is initially more important than the relative 'alone' that is a dinner-date. Go shopping, go to a movie, go ice skating, go and DO something that will allow some time together, but something else to DO other than stare into each other's eyes and have potentially forced conversation. Getting to know someone rarely happens purely through talking.
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
OrangeOne said:
a. He said he's known her since childhood, not that he's loved her forever.

b. Is a nice meal not a serious date?

c. Also - a serious date or a nice meal is often initially way too much pressure. Spending time together is initially more important than the relative 'alone' that is a dinner-date. Go shopping, go to a movie, go ice skating, go and DO something that will allow some time together, but something else to DO other than stare into each other's eyes and have potentially forced conversation. Getting to know someone rarely happens purely through talking.
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Well, Maybe I am much older than OP:). What I am looking for is so different from what you suggested.

Any suggestion for my case. Please helps! Thanks.
 
Fifth Set

Fifth Set

Professional
It's very important that you act on this because (1) you will kick yourself for being scared if you don't; and (2) good ones get snapped up quickly by guys who will not let go of them!

How to do this?

Talk to a friend or family member who you know will give you encouragement to just do it. Whether that encouragement takes the form of building your confidence or just listening to you talk it through, a good soul will see that you want to do it and help you just that little bit to make it happen.

I'm still thankful to a friend (and, actually, his entire family) who helped me get up the nerve to finally ask out a sweet girl I liked - a girl who has been my wife for over 17 years now!
 
O

OrangeOne

Legend
Tina said:
Well, Maybe I am much older than OP:). What I am looking for is so different from what you suggested.

Any suggestion for my case. Please helps! Thanks.
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What you are looking for? So you have to have a meal to be asked out to a serious dinner date to then see if you like someone?

I'd far rather do things with someone. After all, you don't spend life EATING with someone, you spend it LIVING with them.
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
OrangeOne said:
What you are looking for? So you have to have a meal to be asked out to a serious dinner date to then see if you like someone?

I'd far rather do things with someone. After all, you don't spend life EATING with someone, you spend it LIVING with them.
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Thanks for your advice:). Have a nice day!
 
maverick66

maverick66

Hall of Fame
SuperFly said:
You just got yourself into a crapload of trouble.
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your thread was good until people started responding.:)

You guys who dont just ask a girl out make me laugh. The fear of rejection is a silly one once you learn that if they say no there is always another female to try and take out. Especially in high school. If you think you are meeting the girl of your dreams in high school you are dreamer. Right now just ask her out and make all the stupid boyfriend mistakes now and get them over with. This is a learning period and not much else.

Wouldnt you rather get used to asking girls out now then when you are in your 20's?
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
Fifth Set said:
It's very important that you act on this because (1) you will kick yourself for being scared if you don't; and (2) good ones get snapped up quickly by guys who will not let go of them!

How to do this?

Talk to a friend or family member who you know will give you encouragement to just do it. Whether that encouragement takes the form of building your confidence or just listening to you talk it through, a good soul will see that you want to do it and help you just that little bit to make it happen.

I'm still thankful to a friend (and, actually, his entire family) who helped me get up the nerve to finally ask out a sweet girl I liked - a girl who has been my wife for over 17 years now!
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How sweet that is? I have been in a serious relationship for 7 years until last Xmas. "He" was the one recommended by my church friend for our first date. I used to a bit shy toward guy. Now, I am fearless:).
 
R

rnrockz1

Guest
maverick66 said:
your thread was good until people started responding.:)

You guys who dont just ask a girl out make me laugh. The fear of rejection is a silly one once you learn that if they say no there is always another female to try and take out. Especially in high school. If you think you are meeting the girl of your dreams in high school you are dreamer. Right now just ask her out and make all the stupid boyfriend mistakes now and get them over with. This is a learning period and not much else.

Wouldnt you rather get used to asking girls out now then when you are in your 20's?
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I have had past gf's in my teen years, but this one is very special because I've known her since childhood and I've had a slight crush on her since I was 13...BTW I'm 20.
 
r2473

r2473

G.O.A.T.
Tina said:
How sweet that is? I have been in a serious relationship for 7 years until last Xmas. "He" was the one recommended by my church friend for our first date. I used to a bit shy toward guy. Now, I am fearless:).
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Tina
Semi-Pro

Tina's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: GA, USA
Posts: 599
 
Jaewonnie

Jaewonnie

Professional
ouch been in such a situation many times. They all turned bad though.

So I gave up going after girls and am now waiting for girls to come after me :D

So far no luck...
 
R

rnrockz1

Guest
Jaewonnie said:
ouch been in such a situation many times. They all turned bad though.

So I gave up going after girls and am now waiting for girls to come after me :D

So far no luck...
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Thats not good for me.....Arrghh I'm torn rite now..I think I'm gonna text her and ask her to go for a movie tomorrow..
 
R

raiden031

Legend
Ask her out now or the other guy will! She will think you are a wuss and the other guy is a real man who has the ballz to ask her out. Is that what you want?

If you ask her out and she says no, then you won't have to wonder anymore about *hidden* signals, you will know that she doesn't like you like that and you can move on.

If she says yes, then you have reached new heights in your relationship.

Either way, if you take action you will no longer be stuck in no-man's land.
 
R

rnrockz1

Guest
raiden031 said:
Ask her out now or the other guy will! She will think you are a wuss and the other guy is a real man who has the ballz to ask her out. Is that what you want?

If you ask her out and she says no, then you won't have to wonder anymore about *hidden* signals, you will know that she doesn't like you like that and you can move on.

If she says yes, then you have reached new heights in your relationship.

Either way, if you take action you will no longer be stuck in no-man's land.
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Hmm Maybe tomorrow at the movies, I just txted her and she said yea she'll go with me to the movies tomorrow.
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
rnrockz1 said:
No age for love means age doesn't matter in matter of love..
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I know what you meant. I am still thinking how to approach this guy since we haven't met in person. However, we have been communicating with each other via emails for six months so far. We'll see. Wish me luck! -Tina
 
O

OrangeOne

Legend
rnrockz1 said:
Thats not good for me.....Arrghh I'm torn rite now..I think I'm gonna text her and ask her to go for a movie tomorrow..
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Ugh. I know it's common, but texting someone to ask them out? Seems such a chicken option. Also means you'll stress from the moment you send it until you get a reply.

Why not call her?

Hell, girls today might be even shocked that a guy actually had the yellow bouncy things and called them, they might even be impressed.
 
Jaewonnie

Jaewonnie

Professional
rnrockz1 said:
Thats not good for me.....Arrghh I'm torn rite now..I think I'm gonna text her and ask her to go for a movie tomorrow..
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lol I guess a 15 y/o with like no experience who doesnt even care about girls right cant give good advice..
 
T1000

T1000

Legend
rnrockz1 said:
Thats not good for me.....Arrghh I'm torn rite now..I think I'm gonna text her and ask her to go for a movie tomorrow..
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I'd rather call her, especially if it's the first date. Textings all right later but for the first I always call or ask in person.
 
R

rnrockz1

Guest
Tina said:
I know what you meant. I am still thinking how to approach this guy since we haven't meet in person. However, we have been communicating with each other via emails for six months so far. We'll see. Wish me luck! -Tina
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Woah! Have you seen a pic of him yet? You shud meet with him..
 
R

rnrockz1

Guest
T1000 said:
I'd rather call her, especially if it's the first date. Textings all right later but for the first I always call or ask in person.
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She loves txting so I just did that...besides she said yes already...hmm...maybe tomorrow...I'll tell her..
 
O

OrangeOne

Legend
Someone should sticky one of these threads, seems they happen about weekly.

OP: I don't have the confidence to ask girl out.

TW: Ask them out, nothing bad can or will likely happen as a result

OP: But I'm really not sure...

etc, etc. :D
 
O

OrangeOne

Legend
T1000 said:
I'd rather call her, especially if it's the first date. Textings all right later but for the first I always call or ask in person.
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I said the same thing - then realised it's someone he's known forever, so she's entirely likely to say yes to a movie text as it's something normal - going with a friend to the movies.
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
rnrockz1 said:
Woah! Have you seen a pic of him yet? You shud meet with him..
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Yes, we did exchange our photos. I will plan a visit soon only if our phone conversation goes well in a near future. We''ll see.
 
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OrangeOne

Legend
Feña14 said:
Girls are trouble! Plus the World Cup is on, isn't that enough entertainment? :)
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Yeah, I'd rather watch soccer too. Or actually, no, I really wouldn't.

aebphxlzmeerpbxr.jpg
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
rnrockz1 said:
How should I ask her out tomorrow if I were to?
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Call her tonight and say " let's go for a movie tomorrow afternoon". You might want to say " I heard it's a good movie.. everyone is recommended...."
Let's go for a meal at night and say "I heard the place offers a nice service...."

Bottom line is, You have to pay for all these.:)

Good Luck, my young friend:)
 
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OrangeOne

Legend
rnrockz1 said:
How should I ask her out tomorrow if I were to?
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I've dated people i've been friends with, some for quite a while, none for as long as you have with this girl.

I'd either go with "have you ever thought about us as more than friends?" or "I've liked you as more than a friend for a while now".

There is the insurance option, which is to ask her if there's anyone she's interested in. If she starts talking about her crush on another guy, and it's something serious-ish sounding, well, you have your 'easy way out' avoidance option right there. If she, on the other hand, is fairly quiet and coy, well, maybe that's a sign to talk more. That said, in either case if you're genuine about how you feel, it is much better to say something than not. Maybe she's only into the other guy as she figured you weren't an option, or maybe (definitely) she'll see you in a new light after you mention you liked her. The power of suggestion is very high.

If she starts describing you and then you both grin and madly make out, start tapping on the screen to get out, as it's likely you're in a movie.
 
O

OrangeOne

Legend
Tina said:
Call her tonight and say " let's go for a movie tomorrow afternoon". You might want to say " I heard it's a good movie.. everyone is recommended...."
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He's already seeing a movie with her tomorrow. That was decided many, many posts ago???

Let's go for a meal at night and say "I heard the place offers a nice service...."
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Oh my, is it the 1920s? Nice service? How about great food? more to the point, how about showing interest in the person (I'd love to have dinner with you) and not the service (let's go somewhere as it has nice service).

Bottom line is, You have to pay for all these.:)
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Again, it's not 1920. The guy should still offer to pay, but I'd be more impressed if a girl at least offered to split it, or better, said ok, but that she'll get the next time / the coffee after / whatever.
 
O

OrangeOne

Legend
Tina said:
Please give me some advice on how to approach the guy I like. That's more important than anything else to me now. I have never made a first move. Thanks.:)
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Be honest.

If he's a decent guy, he'll be flattered at worst, and way more than that at best.

Similar advice as I gave to the OP - feel him out with questions first, check that he's not secretly madly in love with someone else. If that's not the case, suggest that you two spend some time together. If this is an internet thing - you'll have to meet.

If you are meeting him for the first time off the internet, make sure that you meet him somewhere where you have friends there, be it a party or whatever. Safety is important, and there are many people who can spin wonderful stories online who are horrid people. You can tell people you met the day before at a pub, it matters not what the story is, but put safety first. If he's a decent guy he'll more than understand. If he shows one tiny bit of hesitation at not wanting to meet you where there are other people around, well, i'd be suspicious to the point of moving on right there and then.
 
Tina

Tina

Banned
OrangeOne said:
Be honest.

If he's a decent guy, he'll be flattered at worst, and way more than that at best.

Similar advice as I gave to the OP - feel him out with questions first, check that he's not secretly madly in love with someone else. If that's not the case, suggest that you two spend some time together. If this is an internet thing - you'll have to meet.

If you are meeting him for the first time off the internet, make sure that you meet him somewhere where you have friends there, be it a party or whatever. Safety is important, and there are many people who can spin wonderful stories online who are horrid people. You can tell people you met the day before at a pub, it matters not what the story is, but put safety first. If he's a decent guy he'll more than understand. If he shows one tiny bit of hesitation at not wanting to meet you where there are other people around, well, i'd be suspicious to the point of moving on right there and then.
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Thank you so much, OO. I will keep that in mind.
 
R

rnrockz1

Guest
OrangeOne said:
Be honest.

If he's a decent guy, he'll be flattered at worst, and way more than that at best.

Similar advice as I gave to the OP - feel her out with questions first, check that she's not secretly madly in love with someone else.
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We'll have to see tomorrow how it goes with her:shock::?
 
maverick66

maverick66

Hall of Fame
Feña14 said:
Haha! I'd have to still take the football, if i'm honest!
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Why cant you have both?:)


If your 20 man up and go do it. its as simple as do you want to go to the movies. Thats it just ask. You could do something corny as hell but that sucks. Just call her I repeat call and ask her out on a date. Asking a bunch of people on forum isnt gonna help you. You know what needs to be done now go do it.
 
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