Connors tells us that he had become engaged to Evert while they were on their way to winning the men’s and women’s singles championships at the 1974 South African Open, but that is at odds with the documented evidence—including Evert’s account in her 1982 book Chrissie. She wrote then that the engagement took place during the 1973 South African Open. Perhaps Connors simply mixed up the years innocently and perhaps not, but the details matter because the readers of The Outsider are led to believe that the subsequent breakup of these two superstars took place only a short time after the termination of the pregnancy, but was that really so? (Incidentally, Connors has other dates in the book confused, including an incorrect reference to playing his last Grand Slam final at the 1983 U.S. Open) He writes of postponing the wedding in 1974, “It was a horrible feeling but I knew it was over. Getting married wasn’t going to be good for either of us.” He says he told Evert over the phone, ‘I’ve been thinking. We’re both pretty young. Maybe we should take a step back and think about giving it a little more time.’ She was on the East Coast but she did not hesitate. ‘O.K., if that’s what you think. I’ve got a match tomorrow. Not a problem.’”
When excerpts from the book were first released, Evert responded with a statement clarifying her thoughts on the matter. She said, “In his book, Jimmy Connors has written about a time in our relationship that was very personal and emotionally painful. I was extremely disappointed that he used the book to misrepresent a private matter that took place 40 years ago and made it public, without my knowledge. I hope everyone can understand that I have no further comment.”
That dignified response was quoted by nearly everyone who interviewed Connors last week about his book. His explanation was that he did not contact anyone before the memoir came out, and he unabashedly stressed that it was his book looking back on his own life, strongly implying that what anyone else thought or felt didn’t really matter. Yet he was overlooking the fact that he betrayed a trust on a matter that was indeed very private and even delicate. No one can be certain about the motives of Connors for traveling down that path, but his lack of courtesy is striking and, to many observers, disturbing and revelatory. Not only did he break that crucial code of privacy, but he adds insult to injury by portraying Evert as cold-hearted and callous, while making himself come across as magnanimous and sensitive. Is the Connors version of the truth believable? Was he being self-serving? Did she deserve this treatment? Could what he stated stand up to serious scrutiny? I think not. You be the judge.
Connors had other things to say regarding Evert that did not emerge in the excerpts but are nevertheless noteworthy. Alluding to arguments they had over the phone back in the day and how they were often 5000 miles apart, he writes, “I know I strayed, several times, over the two years we were together, both at home in California and on tour. I was young, hanging out with buddies like Nasty, Spencer [Segura], Dino Martin, David Schneider and Vitas Gerulaitis. What do you think happened? After every match, we would be surrounded by women. Chrissie would be in a different state or country, and the two of us might have had another fight on the phone. It happened. I’m not proud of it, but that’s what I did.”
Connors reflects on what it was like playing mixed doubles with Evert at the majors—they reached the U.S. Open final together in 1974— in those years. He makes it clear that he did not take mixed doubles as seriously as Evert, and writes, “I’ve always refused to blast the ball at my female opponent, even if the other guy is aiming at my partner…. Chrissie thought I should go ahead and bury the other woman. I would just shrug and get on with the game, and that made her even madder. Everyone has his or her own insecurities; I had mine and Chrissie had hers. In the often claustrophobic, intense world of tennis, you can feel as if everything revolves around you, and her need to be the center of attention at all times became too much.”
It is puzzling that Connors was largely so unkind and insensitive to someone with whom he shared so much when he was in his late teens and early twenties. Not only did he overstep his bounds by making a private matter public, but he seemed to pile on the criticism of a woman he almost married, and for what purpose? There was something largely unsettling about that part of the book. Connors may have believed he was simply being candid, but he sounded caustic, petty and small-minded in the process.
