Playing competitive with burning hemorrhoids?

Have you ever played tennis with flared hemorrhoids?

  • Yes, built character

    Votes: 1 33.3%

  • Yes, but don't recommend it

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, had the issue once opted out

    Votes: 1 33.3%

  • No, never had the issue

    Votes: 1 33.3%
  • Total voters
    3
  • Poll closed .
M

MurrayLover

New User
I recently advanced to the 3rd round of a pretty full 4.5 draw. Problem is, due to constipation throughout the week, a hemorrhoid that has never given me issues appears to have prolapsed and is burning like a m344her. anyone else have experience with this? change overs are very difficult due to sitting pain and forget djokovic like slides for short balls. every round the burning and itching is getting worse. anyone ever had the pain stop in time for the finals?
 
Ronaldo

Ronaldo

Bionic Poster
Why sit and aggravate the condition?
howdoesdonuthelphemms.png
 
Nacho

Nacho

Hall of Fame
MurrayLover said:
I recently advanced to the 3rd round of a pretty full 4.5 draw. Problem is, due to constipation throughout the week, a hemorrhoid that has never given me issues appears to have prolapsed and is burning like a m344her. anyone else have experience with this? change overs are very difficult due to sitting pain and forget djokovic like slides for short balls. every round the burning and itching is getting worse. anyone ever had the pain stop in time for the finals?
Click to expand...

a little TMI in this thread...don't they make lotions for this kind of problem:D
 
mnttlrg

mnttlrg

Professional
I have dealt with IBS and bloody stools for years. My awesome advice that will sound like a joke is to poop standing up. Stand up and it will come out a thousand times easier, then sit down before it plops so it doesn't splash. If you sit, you will clench up that muscle that causes it to tear. If you stand, you have gravity on your side and all those butt muscles will relax while it slides right out. Just try it! Your best weapon in this situation is prevention / not aggravating it.

I also had a sphinctorotomy procedure done years ago when I was having actual tears on the inside. Once again, highly recommended if necessary.

I think I remember one of the Preparation H ointments helping, but I can't remember if it was the regular one or the itch one. Also, petroleum jelly is always a plus.
 
YellowFedBetter

YellowFedBetter

Hall of Fame
I actually would like to hear of a ream answer and solution here because I have this problem too. It’s impossible to play good tennis when your rear is icthing like crazy.
 
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Reactions: Adm
A

Adm

Rookie
Pepper spray in the affected area, about 5 min before the match or practice.

It is challenging at the beginning but it gets senseless after a while.

All in all, you build character, and makes you mentally tougher, too.

Just try it, and let us know how it goes.

Regards

P.S. If you have difficulty finding a pepper spray, just crush some chilly, mix it with some butter or olive oil, it makes wonders, too.
 
A

Adm

Rookie
Important clarification:

If you use my remedy take care not to touch the genitive organs, although some people claim that it helps with the footwork.
 
speedysteve

speedysteve

Legend
Adm said:
Pepper spray in the affected area, about 5 min before the match or practice.

It is challenging at the beginning but it gets senseless after a while.

All in all, you build character, and makes you mentally tougher, too.

Just try it, and let us know how it goes.

Regards

P.S. If you have difficulty finding a pepper spray, just crush some chilly, mix it with some butter or olive oil, it makes wonders, too.
Click to expand...
Tennis equivalent of 'gingering up a horse'.
 
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Reactions: Adm
T

TennisCJC

Legend
Adm said:
Pepper spray in the affected area, about 5 min before the match or practice.

It is challenging at the beginning but it gets senseless after a while.

All in all, you build character, and makes you mentally tougher, too.

Just try it, and let us know how it goes.

Regards

P.S. If you have difficulty finding a pepper spray, just crush some chilly, mix it with some butter or olive oil, it makes wonders, too.[/QUOTE]

wow, I use that exact recipe for a chili shrimp dish. Of course the shrimp go in the other end, or at least they do for me.
Click to expand...
 
A

Adm

Rookie
TennisCJC wrote:
"wow, I use that exact recipe for a chili shrimp dish. Of course the shrimp go in the other end, or at least they do for me."

TennisCJC, actually this is a good point!

There are two types of hemorrhoids: internal and external hemorrhoids.

My recipe was meant for the external one. But if you have internal, then you can use my recipe externally while trying to sause the shrimps who are in the other end.

Personally I prefer not to use this method, it is a personal thing!
 
movdqa

movdqa

Talk Tennis Guru
Perhaps you could ensure that you don’t have constipation before a tournament. You could try taking MiraLax every day for a eeek before a tournament to keep yourself regular. Then skip it for the actual tournament.

If you are over 50 and haven’t had a colonoscopy, then you might get one to ensure that you don’t have a blockage.
 
M

MurrayLover

New User
Thanks everyone for the replies (although some got off topic). I tried my partner's pepper spray and doused the entire area, including the jewel box. Boy was that a mistake. The burning was more intense than anything I've ever felt, except hitting that tweener on match point. in the end, I didn't win my tournament but I did get relatively fast resolution shortly thereafter. My solution in case this helps: needle in the inflamed area, cleared off the oozing stuff right away (but don't spread it says my doc) and was given a pill called Valtrex through my insurance. Within a few days, things calmed down and I even feel like I have more energy now. Hope that helps others! Good hitting to all.
 
M

MurrayLover

New User
Thanks everyone for the replies (although some got off topic). I tried my partner's pepper spray and doused the entire area, including the jewel box. Boy was that a mistake. The burning was more intense than anything I've ever felt, except hitting that tweener on match point. in the end, I didn't win my tournament but I did get relatively fast resolution shortly thereafter. My solution in case this helps: needle in the inflamed area, cleared off the oozing stuff right away (but don't spread it says my doc) and was given a pill called Valtrex through my insurance. Within a few days things calmed down. Hope that helps others! Good hitting...
 
Nostradamus

Nostradamus

Bionic Poster
It can bleed and can dirty your underwear with bloody poopy stain all over the back,,,that is not good. May smell as well. or if you wear jocks, then it will stain the shorts, and people may notice it.

7eb1a0f5738717257e0ed6d812f50d4a--banana-peel-uses-uses-of-banana.jpg


4fa63114c3443f0aa9eb4af13f41926f--hemorrhoids-treatment-natural-treatments.jpg
 
MathGeek

MathGeek

Hall of Fame
Adm said:
Pepper spray in the affected area, about 5 min before the match or practice.

It is challenging at the beginning but it gets senseless after a while.

All in all, you build character, and makes you mentally tougher, too.

Just try it, and let us know how it goes.

Regards

P.S. If you have difficulty finding a pepper spray, just crush some chilly, mix it with some butter or olive oil, it makes wonders, too.
Click to expand...

I apply plenty of capsaicin, but all from the other end. It gets to the relevant area soon enough.
 
Simon_the_furry

Simon_the_furry

Hall of Fame
Adm said:
Pepper spray in the affected area, about 5 min before the match or practice.

It is challenging at the beginning but it gets senseless after a while.

All in all, you build character, and makes you mentally tougher, too.

Just try it, and let us know how it goes.

Regards

P.S. If you have difficulty finding a pepper spray, just crush some chilly, mix it with some butter or olive oil, it makes wonders, too.
Click to expand...

MurrayLover said:
Thanks everyone for the replies (although some got off topic). I tried my partner's pepper spray and doused the entire area, including the jewel box. Boy was that a mistake. The burning was more intense than anything I've ever felt...
Click to expand...

This is definitely my favorite Talk Tennis exchange of 2017.
 
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