YellowFedBetter
Hall of Fame
1. Must make a sound on every shot (particularly serves) that sounds like he is trying to take a dump. Because if we don't have an even balance of this Nishikori will try to do it for real for everybody.
2. Must cross his fingers that one of his 40 percent of 130 mph serves go in. If not, must lay in a serve in which the return is twice as fast as the serve. Failure to do so will result in endless self-loathing and melancholy.
3. Must swear (and sweat) profusely at his box. Bonus points if mum is in attendance.
4. Must celebrate like he has won the calender slam after his opponent has hit a winner. Failure to do so will result in Ivan Lendl smiling.
5. Must be shirtless at least 3 times a match. Because if we don't see his pasty white bod and minuscule chest lettuce John Mcenroe will come down and try to reclaim his place as the king of this, and we don't want that.
6. Must look look he is high and having the best daydream of his life when about to return serve. How else could he get so many big serves back in play?
7. Must lean down and grab leg when losing. If things are particularly bad must yell for Jelly. Though the origins of this are unclear it can best be assumed that the reason for his crankiness stem from a primal need for canned and jarred fruits and preserves, preferably on rye bread. So what are you doing Ivan and the guys in the box, get the man a da-- sandwich! The key to his success lies within!
All in good fun btw. Not a hater.
2. Must cross his fingers that one of his 40 percent of 130 mph serves go in. If not, must lay in a serve in which the return is twice as fast as the serve. Failure to do so will result in endless self-loathing and melancholy.
3. Must swear (and sweat) profusely at his box. Bonus points if mum is in attendance.
4. Must celebrate like he has won the calender slam after his opponent has hit a winner. Failure to do so will result in Ivan Lendl smiling.
5. Must be shirtless at least 3 times a match. Because if we don't see his pasty white bod and minuscule chest lettuce John Mcenroe will come down and try to reclaim his place as the king of this, and we don't want that.
6. Must look look he is high and having the best daydream of his life when about to return serve. How else could he get so many big serves back in play?
7. Must lean down and grab leg when losing. If things are particularly bad must yell for Jelly. Though the origins of this are unclear it can best be assumed that the reason for his crankiness stem from a primal need for canned and jarred fruits and preserves, preferably on rye bread. So what are you doing Ivan and the guys in the box, get the man a da-- sandwich! The key to his success lies within!
All in good fun btw. Not a hater.