A rant about an annoying player at the club
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optic yellow
Legend
oh great question
Shroud
Talk Tennis Guru
@Cindysphinx come on. You are the resident expert on this ladies doubles topic.So I recently joined my local tennis club and was invited to play with a group of older ladies on the weekends. I'm the youngest person at the club by far (22 soon to be 23) and all the other women are 60+ and have known and played with each other for years. I'm not a bad player at all, I've got solid groundstrokes, a decent serve, and I'm physically fit so I can cover the court well. I'm just just inexperienced at doubles and at the net, especially compared to those who have played at the club for years.
Anyways I always somehow end up with this one lady (let's call her Luci short for Lucifer) who is a good player, probably the best in the group. She LOVES to "coach" me in between every single point, especially on the points where I make a mistake. At first I thought she was just trying to be helpful so I politely listened and nodded and smiled. But after a few times it's actually getting seriously patronising and annoying. Her coaching is extremely pointless and unproductive, as if I can improve my technique and skill level after a single comment from her... Also I don't see her coaching anyone else??? Other people make plenty of mistakes too, and so does she.... It's not the finals of Wimbledon ffs, we're literally playing socially on a Saturday morning.
We just played each other in a friendly club singles box league and it was a very close game. She ended up winning 6-4, 3-6, 6-4. As soon as we played the last point, I go to the net to say well played to her, she literally says to me "Ok there are 2 pieces of advice I have for you....." LUCI DID I ASK???
Of course I understand that it's good to listen to other people's advice, and she probably thinks she's being helpful. But she's not got the best technique herself from years of bad habit (she's very tight and slappy with the ball) so I dunno why she's coaching me. Maybe I'm just over-sensitive, but in generally I do find her very patronising. The best thing to do now is probably politely speak to her about this next time we play together.
Also I'm probably gunna switch clubs, I do find this club quite cliquey, especially amongst the ladies. It's probably also to do with my age as well as they are all friends and have known for each other for years. So atm I'm on the look out for a more youthful club
Just wanted to come on here and have a little rant. Anyone else got any doubles partner/annoying club member horror stories that you'd like to share?
S&V-not_dead_yet
Talk Tennis Guru
If Luci makes the mistake she was advising you about, you can say "Hey Luci, you got some 'splainin' to do."
S&V-not_dead_yet
Talk Tennis Guru
The Dream Team: Becky and Luci
Well, if Luci makes so many mistakes, you can give her some advise too when it happens. When Luci gets upset then tell her that you are doing it in the thoughts that she was doing the same as she would love to be done to herself : ) You know? Behave to others the same you wish others behave to you.
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Nothing wrong with her line call
Nothing wrong with her line calls
StringSnapper
Hall of Fame
Hahahahha
optic yellow
Legend
What do you suggest?
Daniel Andrade
Hall of Fame
Talk to her directly and she will probably stopSo I recently joined my local tennis club and was invited to play with a group of older ladies on the weekends. I'm the youngest person at the club by far (22 soon to be 23) and all the other women are 60+ and have known and played with each other for years. I'm not a bad player at all, I've got solid groundstrokes, a decent serve, and I'm physically fit so I can cover the court well. I'm just just inexperienced at doubles and at the net, especially compared to those who have played at the club for years.
Anyways I always somehow end up with this one lady (let's call her Luci short for Lucifer) who is a good player, probably the best in the group. She LOVES to "coach" me in between every single point, especially on the points where I make a mistake. At first I thought she was just trying to be helpful so I politely listened and nodded and smiled. But after a few times it's actually getting seriously patronising and annoying. Her coaching is extremely pointless and unproductive, as if I can improve my technique and skill level after a single comment from her... Also I don't see her coaching anyone else??? Other people make plenty of mistakes too, and so does she.... It's not the finals of Wimbledon ffs, we're literally playing socially on a Saturday morning.
We just played each other in a friendly club singles box league and it was a very close game. She ended up winning 6-4, 3-6, 6-4. As soon as we played the last point, I go to the net to say well played to her, she literally says to me "Ok there are 2 pieces of advice I have for you....." LUCI DID I ASK???
Of course I understand that it's good to listen to other people's advice, and she probably thinks she's being helpful. But she's not got the best technique herself from years of bad habit (she's very tight and slappy with the ball) so I dunno why she's coaching me. Maybe I'm just over-sensitive, but in generally I do find her very patronising. The best thing to do now is probably politely speak to her about this next time we play together.
Also I'm probably gunna switch clubs, I do find this club quite cliquey, especially amongst the ladies. It's probably also to do with my age as well as they are all friends and have known for each other for years. So atm I'm on the look out for a more youthful club
Just wanted to come on here and have a little rant. Anyone else got any doubles partner/annoying club member horror stories that you'd like to share?
Anyway, how old is she?
If she's 60+ and is competitive against you she must play very well
Shroud
Talk Tennis Guru
I had a coach in highschool who struck out on both of those. Guy said to think orange juice....concentrate....
Don't know her exact age, but I'd say early sixties?
She's a good player for sure. Also I'm still relatively new to the game and this box league is the first time I've ever played singles so I do have a lot to learn still.
But it was a close match, we both have our strengths and weaknesses
yep hopefully there'll be another club box league or competition where we can play against each other! In the mean time I'll be training hard!
Mongolmike
Hall of Fame
In tennis (and golf) MOST of the people you run into are nice, basically normal people with a desire to improve, to have fun (and to win).
BUT, in tennis/golf, there is that 3% of people with anger issues and it shows up strong during play. Throwing racquet/clubs, cussing, terrible body language, abusing others.
There is another 5% in tennis, and probably higher in golf, of cheats. Mostly line calls (or golf foot wedges/not counting strokes), ALWAYS in their favor.
Figure another 20% of people who just are not socially good in any situation (for many reasons, some very legit).
50% of normalish people.
Another 10% of just odd people.
Another 10% of perverts and really inappropriate stuff.
And the rest, idk.... throw them in somewhere.
The point is, most people you meet will be "fine". Learn to deal with the fringe cases, and avoid the bad eggs. The more you play, the wider your group of contacts, so like friends, some you get to be close with and do things other than tennis.
Some you only see at tennis. Some you try to avoid- even at tennis!
Learn the rules so you aren't taken advantage of during matches, but be one of the nice people. You never know what the other person is going thru, and at the end of the day none of us are pros or making a living off of our play.
Play hard, play fair, be nice, have fun. And especially for social tennis, don't be a jerk. Oh, and when people are paying for court time- BE ON TIME and ready to play!
i dont know. if i lose to a 60 yo lady, i will shutup, listen, and play until i can beat them.
optic yellow
Legend
It's not always correct to just beat yourself up and tell yourself you are worthless in order to motivate improvement.
Digital Atheist
Hall of Fame
Wow, interesting interpretation!
optic yellow
Legend
If you're gonna say that say more.
Or assume she does and ask how much you owe her!?
Another alternative is to disagree with every bit of advice she gives you. If she says "you should've volleyed that" say "No, it was the right shot, I just didn't execute"
If she says "too much power on that fh" say "No I gave it the right amount of power, just needed a bit more topspin"
Just make it a bit more unpleasant to give the "advice" than to refrain.
But you're almost certainly better off being explicit but polite about it, and asking her to stop, as you suggested.
I think this problem might be common than we think in social tennis. I've heard of it happening.
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TennisDawg
Hall of Fame
I don’t think unsolicited coaching is limited to older players. Even if you switch clubs you may still find younger players do the same. Come up with a response that stops it right away. It doesn’t have to be rude just make sure they get the point. Every rec player has flaws in their game. It’s okay to turn the tables and coach her too. Then it sends a message that you are at least her equal and it would humble her. Another option would be to invite her to play singles again. By now you probably know her game and where she’s weak. She probably doesn’t move that well and you stated that you do and you’re 23. If you could beat her in straight sets she would probably think twice on coaching you. You can do all the above without being rude.
Digital Atheist
Hall of Fame
I italicised the text I was referring to and thought it rather self explanatory.So you read the above and somehow got to feelings of worthlessness, whereas I didn't. I actually struggle to see how you did, but I am sure you have your reasons, and because I don't really care, it wasn't pursued (not being rude, just saying).
cks
Hall of Fame
+1
Know the rules, so you know when someone is making up a rule. Keep Friend at Court (PDF) on your phone. I've used it before during matches.
optic yellow
Legend
There's nothing self-explanatory because that is an obvious underlying implication.
Digital Atheist
Hall of Fame
Since I thought I clearly questioned the link between their statement and your previously italicized "shameless" text, even though it wasn't asked as a direct question, I thought the implication was obvious and redundant. You don't see it that way so we can disagree, just like I still don't how you got to shameless, but I'm guessing you consider your reasons logical.
optic yellow
Legend
It's the very simplistic "I am bad and should listen to others" dogwhistle.
did i say anything about worthlessness????
So you read the above and somehow got to feelings of worthlessness, whereas I didn't. I actually struggle to see how you did, but I am sure you have your reasons, and because I don't really care, it wasn't pursued (not being rude, just saying).
optic yellow
Legend
I'll be perfectly honest I assumed you were Vietnamese and therefore read what you said as reflecting certain unhealthy aspects of East Asian cultural tradition that have been impressed strongly upon me by other people I have met from that region seeking to explain their native culture to me. I reacted so strongly because I think being too self-defeating is not good for anyone. Maybe it was rude for me to make that assumption but at the same time we all reflect unhealthy attributes about our region that we don't really want to and in those cases it can be helpful to hear positive encouragement against it from others.
To be honest, it was not self-defeating if somebody was defeating you. anyway, end of story. My ethnicity shouldn't have anything to do with this. I probably can say something about yours. but i don't think it is relevant and you should do the same.
optic yellow
Legend
No the concept that you can learn things from them is not self-defeating but the adoption of the supplicant attitude absolueltnis and the way you phrased what you said in English triggered that imagery. Your ethnicity or more specifically your cultural background has relevance because everyone reflects aspects of the social environment that molded them. This is not meant to be an attack on you or where you're from so you don't need to read it that way. As you say, all cultures everywhere have serious issues.
Dude, you sound like an educated person. So you go from a person's username + one sentence he wrote, then make conclusion on the ethnicity, then go on and on about the unhealthy cultural traits of the people from that region. There is very little scientific evidence or statistical significance to your line of reasoning.If there is, please educate me. At this point i don't even read into what you say very much.
I was not the only person with that opinion, apparently nyta2 said the same thing. I hope you dont hop to the conclusion that he is also southeast asian.
optic yellow
Legend
I was acknowledging it could have been a moment of racial prejudice and then explained it came from empathy rather than intent to offend I am not sure what else you want me to say.
Digital Atheist
Hall of Fame
No you didn't; that was someone else's interpretation of your comment, which was my entire point.
sorry, i wasn't following the whole conversation.
anyway, it should be end of story
.I know a player like this, older guy, thinks he is god's gift to tennis. He coaches everyone, including me and gets annoyed when I ignore his advice.
Anyway I ended up turning up early and he was the only player there. He decided to give me a coaching session, to show his attacking tennis. I dreaded this but it turned out to be quite fun; I decided to go into full pusher human wall mode. He couldn't get the ball past me and which was demonstrated by the number of balls pilling up on his side of the net.
I got some sarky comment from him afterwards, about how he use to be that fast and that wasn't the proper way to play and I can't say it stopped his not so helpful hints. Cheered me up though.
Anyway I ended up turning up early and he was the only player there. He decided to give me a coaching session, to show his attacking tennis. I dreaded this but it turned out to be quite fun; I decided to go into full pusher human wall mode. He couldn't get the ball past me and which was demonstrated by the number of balls pilling up on his side of the net.
I got some sarky comment from him afterwards, about how he use to be that fast and that wasn't the proper way to play and I can't say it stopped his not so helpful hints. Cheered me up though.
