onehandbh
G.O.A.T.
As few of you know, one of my cats and I parted ways mutually a few weeks ago, so I've been working on trading up using the new-fangled technogadgetry called "online pet adoption". As technology has improved immensely beneficial to human progress over millennia, I deduced that the same would apply to the field of pet companionship. And it has.
I contacted the adoption matchmaker to learn more about their service. She told me that the pets go on "dates" with the prospective owner and we don't have to make a final decision until the 3rd "date." Each date lasts 5 hours and then the cat is returned to the adoption agency.
They have also developed an Alexa/Siri-like device that allows the cat to communicate to the human by translating the meows into English words. I was still in beta testing, but the matchmaker told me it was about 95% accurate. They would loan me their device to use during our date.
I told her that I have a pet goldfish named Pisces, so it is very important that the new cat gets along with it and does not hurt it. I was assured that the cat I picked was friendly fish.
To be extra cautious, I installed a motion detector camera by my goldfish tank. It takes a photo whenever anything gets close to it.
The first date finally arrived, and I was not disappointed. This cat was fit and had luxurious, well-groomed fur, and a plesant disposition. It began purring the moment I pet it. After playing with it for a couple hours, I got an urgent work call, and had to run a quick errand. I told the cat I would be back within an hour.
When I arrived back home, the cat was curled up near the front door and deep asleep. I went to feed Pisces, and much to my chagrin, he was not in the fish tank.
There was no PISCES! Just PIECES! Of a fish!!
I yelled into the translator box and accused my cat of eating Pisces, "Why did you eat Pisces??!!!"
"I didn't eat him!" he replied. "Check your camera."
I checked the footage and there was a photo of the cat staring at the Pisces in the tank.
"Staring at your fish doesn't mean I ate it. Eyes don't fish", he stated.
I'm not sure what to do now. The cat has been otherwise perfect. Should I believe him? Have my accusations ruined things, making a second date out of the question?
Do you think I still have a chance?
(P.S. While discussing my dilemna with the matchmaker, she replied, "Why don't you and I just date?" I wasn't interested. She asked if it was because she was 15 lbs overweight.)
I contacted the adoption matchmaker to learn more about their service. She told me that the pets go on "dates" with the prospective owner and we don't have to make a final decision until the 3rd "date." Each date lasts 5 hours and then the cat is returned to the adoption agency.
They have also developed an Alexa/Siri-like device that allows the cat to communicate to the human by translating the meows into English words. I was still in beta testing, but the matchmaker told me it was about 95% accurate. They would loan me their device to use during our date.
I told her that I have a pet goldfish named Pisces, so it is very important that the new cat gets along with it and does not hurt it. I was assured that the cat I picked was friendly fish.
To be extra cautious, I installed a motion detector camera by my goldfish tank. It takes a photo whenever anything gets close to it.
The first date finally arrived, and I was not disappointed. This cat was fit and had luxurious, well-groomed fur, and a plesant disposition. It began purring the moment I pet it. After playing with it for a couple hours, I got an urgent work call, and had to run a quick errand. I told the cat I would be back within an hour.
When I arrived back home, the cat was curled up near the front door and deep asleep. I went to feed Pisces, and much to my chagrin, he was not in the fish tank.
There was no PISCES! Just PIECES! Of a fish!!
I yelled into the translator box and accused my cat of eating Pisces, "Why did you eat Pisces??!!!"
"I didn't eat him!" he replied. "Check your camera."
I checked the footage and there was a photo of the cat staring at the Pisces in the tank.
"Staring at your fish doesn't mean I ate it. Eyes don't fish", he stated.
I'm not sure what to do now. The cat has been otherwise perfect. Should I believe him? Have my accusations ruined things, making a second date out of the question?
Do you think I still have a chance?
(P.S. While discussing my dilemna with the matchmaker, she replied, "Why don't you and I just date?" I wasn't interested. She asked if it was because she was 15 lbs overweight.)
