Amazing sad old folks!

sureshs

Bionic Poster
I was shocked when an adult told me he didn't expect to receive all his social needs from his wife. Now, I find this rational and reasonable. It takes a village. I'm a skeptic of the Hollywood notion of "soul mates."
It has been the notion of all romantic literature, poetry and plays from the beginning of time, so why drag Hollywood into it? If anything, Hollywood often shows the other side of the story. It seems to be a fashion to blame everything on Hollywood.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Let me give you a simple solution to loneliness: money.

Make a ton of money before retirement and a lot of people will show up hoping for donations or simply for a grand free dinner in which they listen to your great achievements. Relatives will be hanging around hoping for a cut of your estate.

With money, you can also be forever cruising or traveling or whatever and be treated like royalty wherever you go.

Yes, money is the source of happiness.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
In our monthly neighborhood newsletter, I see many notices about meetings and volunteer opportunities for the elderly. They should avail of that. With affordable Uber for short distances, they need not rely on the "Senior bus" anymore.
 
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Zara

Hall of Fame
Uh everything. I have always wanted to have a relationship with someone where both parties must engage with each other and learn about the other, themselves, and the world. Even marriage and family don't have this. They have these "breaks" where they can engage with different personalities throughout the day.

Imagine it, you are stuck with me for a whole year and have only me to talk with. No hiding, no "breaks" just me. I really think it would be fun. Like trying to crack a puzzle.

Then when everyone wakes up, it would seem like we would want to talk with other people. But I don't think that would be the case.

Someone once said, "once you truly get to know one person, they are all one needs."
So what kind of relationship would that be? Is it just pure friendship of the platonic kind or anything goes?

If I am stuck with someone, say you, for a year with no communications with others then it's likely that we would by then create a very strong bond between us assuming we'd work out our differences by then.

Sounds interesting for a project. We can even call it an engagement.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
The next generation of oldies will be even more Internet savvy and will be connected through social media to avoid loneliness. With virtual reality, they will be able to interact with 3D holograms with touch and feel.
 

max

Legend
It has been the notion of all romantic literature, poetry and plays from the beginning of time, so why drag Hollywood into it? If anything, Hollywood often shows the other side of the story. It seems to be a fashion to blame everything on Hollywood.
True enough. Sadly the movies do the best job of blasting out this decrepit idea. But surely Hollywood has much to take the blame for, and some things to take credit for.
 

max

Legend
In our monthly neighborhood newsletter, I see many notices about meetings and volunteer opportunities for the elderly. They should avail of that. With affordable Uber for short distances, they need not rely on the "Senior bus" anymore.
good points.
 
So what kind of relationship would that be? Is it just pure friendship of the platonic kind or anything goes?

If I am stuck with someone, say you, for a year with no communications with others then it's likely that we would by then create a very strong bond between us assuming we'd work out our differences by then.

Sounds interesting for a project. We can even call it an engagement.
Oh, for it to be an all encompassing relationship, it will naturally lead that direction. It is a given. The deeper you feel towards someone. The deeper connection there will be physically.

In fact, most people would not be able to resist me in a space suit...
 

Sudacafan

G.O.A.T.
I have seen it very recently but the Hollywood version with Nicole Kidman etc. I am sure the Spanish version is much better or so I was told.
Didn’t know about the Hollywood version really. This one is an Argentinian - Spanish co-production.
It won the Oscar for foreign language movie in 2009.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
good points.
Also self driving cars will alleviate the misery that old folks in the US feel when their drivers license is snatched from them. That is truly the blow that kills the generations which grew up dreaming of Mustangs and Corvettes.
 
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Zara

Hall of Fame
In high school I was voted "most likely to look good in space."
I ain't buying. Post a picture wearing a space suit. I'll be the judge of that.

Btw, Pratt doesn't necessarily wear space suits, you know? We are not on a Star Trek adventure here. That's a separate mission.
 
There is a peace of mind in silence, plus solitude.

In my way of thinking being older, not putting up with phonies is a blessing. Also, those who have little to no contact with you can and should be canceled from the beneficiary list in a will or living trust. If they don't care enough to call or write, they
definitely don't deserve a chunk of your change. So, no contact, makes it easier to weed out the undeserving.

Therefore, I do not place much emphasis on what the so-called experts have to say. Seems to me every 10 years or so the experts change their tune
in order to be thought experts.

In my case, if I am feeling the need for company, I get off my butt and go out for a cup of coffee. I hope to find an attractive waitress I can lightly flirt with, knowing I am too old for her and won't end up with a list of honey-dos or a dependent.

Shalom

P.S. I don't spend a lot of time looking for what others, I think should give me. Instead, I look to what I can give. Giving is what makes me feel good about myself.
When chewing the fat with someone, it's nice to feel secure in just experiencing and enjoying the power of silence......no need to break "the lull" with useless .....whatever....
 
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Let me give you a simple solution to loneliness: money.

Make a ton of money before retirement and a lot of people will show up hoping for donations or simply for a grand free dinner in which they listen to your great achievements. Relatives will be hanging around hoping for a cut of your estate.

With money, you can also be forever cruising or traveling or whatever and be treated like royalty wherever you go.

Yes, money is the source of happiness.
. .Dr. Sureshs translation: . you can't buy love, .you can only rent it.

In our monthly neighborhood newsletter, I see many notices about meetings and volunteer opportunities for the elderly. They should avail of that.
With affordable Uber for short distances,

they need not rely on the "Senior bus" anymore.
. .max vol. req.
. .
 

Raul_SJ

Legend
"And a quarter of older adults say it makes them feel good when someone smiles or acknowledges them while waiting in line at places like the bank or grocery store."

Nobody ever smiles at me when I'm waiting in line at the grocery store. Has never happened.
Maybe the cashier but she gets paid to smile at me.
:(
 

kramer woodie

Professional
"And a quarter of older adults say it makes them feel good when someone smiles or acknowledges them while waiting in line at places like the bank or grocery store."

Nobody ever smiles at me when I'm waiting in line at the grocery store. Has never happened.
Maybe the cashier but she gets paid to smile at me.
:(
Raul_SJ

A good point, however, a better test is put a big smile on your face and see how contagious it is with those around you. I once had a bartender who said he didn't like me, but if I was going to tip the way I do, he would make an exception. The service became excellent, many a free 18 year old single malt sample free or always a wine goblet filled with the equivalent of 1-1/2 to 2 times more wine than normal wine glass. Put another way, a wine glass, like a balloon for cognac with a stem, huge. As sureshs said, "money is a source of happiness"! Especially for yourself and those you spend it on!

Or, how about when shopping, you see a baby in a shopping cart and say to the mother or father, "wow cute baby. what shelf did you find that baby on...was it on sale?" You will get a big smile and a laugh and an absolutely no not on sale, in return. Might even make a new friend or at least have a nice conversation while mom shops and dad is bored out of his mind.

Just try to brighten the lives of those you come in contact with daily. You may get a grumpy response or no response at all, but you will never get a smile or a thank you...good to meet you, unless you put forth the effort. So quit waiting for someone to acknowledge you, and make the effort to acknowledge others with no expectation of being smiled at in return.

Shalom
 

kramer woodie

Professional
Also self driving cars will alleviate the misery that old folks in the US feel when their drivers license is snatched from them. That is truly the blow that kills the generations which grew up dreaming of Mustangs and Corvettes.
sureshs

Mustangs/Corvettes, ugh! Not even close, I grew up dreaming of "D" Type Jags and Ferrari's. Also, would have liked a Cobra or Daytona Coupe.

Today, I would buy a Mclaren F1 for fun, especially if I wanted to end it all (life), but the rush would be fantastic until the end.

Shalom
 

Bartelby

Talk Tennis Guru
You go from saying that money can buy you love to handing out free smiles and kissing babies, so which is it?

Raul_SJ

A good point, however, a better test is put a big smile on your face and see how contagious it is with those around you. I once had a bartender who said he didn't like me, but if I was going to tip the way I do, he would make an exception. The service became excellent, many a free 18 year old single malt sample free or always a wine goblet filled with the equivalent of 1-1/2 to 2 times more wine than normal wine glass. Put another way, a wine glass, like a balloon for cognac with a stem, huge. As sureshs said, "money is a source of happiness"! Especially for yourself and those you spend it on!

Or, how about when shopping, you see a baby in a shopping cart and say to the mother or father, "wow cute baby. what shelf did you find that baby on...was it on sale?" You will get a big smile and a laugh and an absolutely no not on sale, in return. Might even make a new friend or at least have a nice conversation while mom shops and dad is bored out of his mind.

Just try to brighten the lives of those you come in contact with daily. You may get a grumpy response or no response at all, but you will never get a smile or a thank you...good to meet you, unless you put forth the effort. So quit waiting for someone to acknowledge you, and make the effort to acknowledge others with no expectation of being smiled at in return.

Shalom
 

kramer woodie

Professional
Robots are the solution
Sureshs

Yes, robots are the solution, especially a Cherry 2000...Much hotter than Melanie Griffith...less used...don't talk as much...no lists of honey-dos!

Shalom
True enough. Sadly the movies do the best job of blasting out this decrepit idea. But surely Hollywood has much to take the blame for, and some things to take credit for.
max

Sureshs, has it wrong. Hollywood is to blame and they know who to blame...MOM...at least on 2-1/2 men, that was who to blame.

Shalom
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
"And a quarter of older adults say it makes them feel good when someone smiles or acknowledges them while waiting in line at places like the bank or grocery store."

Nobody ever smiles at me when I'm waiting in line at the grocery store. Has never happened.
Maybe the cashier but she gets paid to smile at me.
:(
The study shows that 75% of adults don't feel good so why should anyone smile hehehe
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Sureshs

Yes, robots are the solution, especially a Cherry 2000...Much hotter than Melanie Griffith...less used...don't talk as much...no lists of honey-dos!

Shalom


max

Sureshs, has it wrong. Hollywood is to blame and they know who to blame...MOM...at least on 2-1/2 men, that was who to blame.

Shalom
What do you mean? Romeo and Juliet was written long before Hollywood existed.
 

kramer woodie

Professional
What do you mean? Romeo and Juliet was written long before Hollywood existed.
sureshs

Should I tell you what I mean? Ok, I will. In 1987 a movie was made called "Cherry 2000" with Melanie Griffith as the heroine. A successful businessman who has an android wife, (the perfect wife I might add, only interested in her husband happiness and totally selfless), an electronic part fails. There are no replacement parts available for his android wife, except in the Waste Land.

Now this will make dgold44 happy! The waste land is set in Las Vegas dg! The businessman goes to the waste land to find a replacement part and is accosted by the ruffians of the waste land. Kind of a Mel Gibson copy of the Road Warrior series. In the process of finding a replacement part he hires Melanie Griffith and she saves his life. As they walk off into the sunset hand in hand, madly in love, the Cherry 2000 is forgotten. Now Hollywood does fail to mention whether or not the businessman and Melanie lived happily ever after, but it was implied, true love. No mention of the never ending list of honey do this honey do that he will live with the rest of his life. Plus, he will by necessity be forced to satisfy her every whim and spend his energies making her happy.

As for Romeo and Juliet, their love affair costs them their lives. Rather depressing, I think. Shakespeare was the perfect example of writing for Hemingway to follow in. People seem to enjoy depressing endings. Might be because misery loves company. As for Hollywood, they never create anything new. They are still relying on Shakespeare's 26 or 28 plots. Hollywood has not created a new plot, period. However, Hollywood is great at
changing the setting, the time period, the music, the actors/actresses, and the increased use of special effects.

Shalom
 

kramer woodie

Professional
What do you mean? Romeo and Juliet was written long before Hollywood existed.
sureshs

In reference to my above post. Blame MOM for everything!!!! Shakespeare has nothing to do with who is at fault. I have it on good authority. Charlie
Sheen and the rather good character actor playing his brother on "2-1/2 Men" both blame their Mother. It's all Mom's fault. Thus, a lesson to very seldom listen to a women. Only true men learn selective hearing.

Shalom
 

Sentinel

Bionic Poster
Let me give you a simple solution to loneliness: money.
Yes, money is the source of happiness.
Unfortunately smart alecs like you mistake instant self-gratification for happiness.

Rich people have already done everything by the time they get old. They've travelled, gone on cruises, bought the most expensive of everything, partied, etc etc.
Once they are alone in the end, there is nothing they can fool themselves with any longer.

I know two ladies, close friends of my mother, and fabulously rich. Both depressed. One had been seeing a psychiatrist for over 20 years. One had a heart attack and died early at 73 or so.
By this age, they shun all those who hang around them because they were rich or famous.
Both are/were very kind people, always wanting to know what they could do for us.

Old age isn't as easy as you think it is. There is the burden of the past that many cannot shake off. Maybe your dad's case was different. He was happy to visit his friends or go out and eat. Everyone isn't that happy-go-lucky as that.

Maybe it is tougher for women who have gone through menopause, and particularly having led a tough life in a male dominated socieity where they had to put everyone's needs ahead of their own, and also were never treated as equals at work.

I think at some level you know that your philosophy is not really serious, you are just playing along. But I've seen a lot of people who actually believe it. And they are miserable and frustrated. My (freeloading) brother also believes in your philosophy. But sadly, the latest iPhone or iPad or iWatch has not made him less miserable. But that doesn't stop him from rubbing his philosophy onto others. He believes that life is sitting with your Apple laptop at Starbucks, and eating croissants or whatever.
 

Bartelby

Talk Tennis Guru
That sitcom plays up the Jewish MOM issue in relation to Alan mostly. So whatever the ethnicity of the characters, the scriptwriters plainly have that stock figure in mind.

Wolowitz's mother is another variation on the Jewish mother stereotype. I think you are confusing scriptwriters playing off stereotypes with real social-psychological analysis.

sureshs

In reference to my above post. Blame MOM for everything!!!! Shakespeare has nothing to do with who is at fault. I have it on good authority. Charlie
Sheen and the rather good character actor playing his brother on "2-1/2 Men" both blame their Mother. It's all Mom's fault. Thus, a lesson to very seldom listen to a women. Only true men learn selective hearing.

Shalom
 

kramer woodie

Professional
Unfortunately smart alecs like you mistake instant self-gratification for happiness.

Rich people have already done everything by the time they get old. They've travelled, gone on cruises, bought the most expensive of everything, partied, etc etc.
Once they are alone in the end, there is nothing they can fool themselves with any longer.

I know two ladies, close friends of my mother, and fabulously rich. Both depressed. One had been seeing a psychiatrist for over 20 years. One had a heart attack and died early at 73 or so.
By this age, they shun all those who hang around them because they were rich or famous.
Both are/were very kind people, always wanting to know what they could do for us.

Old age isn't as easy as you think it is. There is the burden of the past that many cannot shake off. Maybe your dad's case was different. He was happy to visit his friends or go out and eat. Everyone isn't that happy-go-lucky as that.

Maybe it is tougher for women who have gone through menopause, and particularly having led a tough life in a male dominated socieity where they had to put everyone's needs ahead of their own, and also were never treated as equals at work.

I think at some level you know that your philosophy is not really serious, you are just playing along. But I've seen a lot of people who actually believe it. And they are miserable and frustrated. My (freeloading) brother also believes in your philosophy. But sadly, the latest iPhone or iPad or iWatch has not made him less miserable. But that doesn't stop him from rubbing his philosophy onto others. He believes that life is sitting with your Apple laptop at Starbucks, and eating croissants or whatever.
Sentinel

Though I agree with much of what you say, I still beg to disagree. With women, much of what you stated is true, however, with men men are more accustom to going and doing things on their own. In the past, you did not need a buddy to go to a bar to pick up women. In fact a buddy got in the way of going home with a woman. In my experience, I never went with a buddy, I may have meet one there and I seldom went on dates as it was more fun to look over the field of the nights available pleasures.

Now tennis for me was an outlet to live the life of a tennis pro. You know, give lessons to bored housewives or girlfriends of others, get paid for the lessons and then be given a lesson later by that same bored housewife to relieve her boredom. It did mean you might have to move around some if
gossip got out.

Now, I don't own an iPhone, iPad, or iWatch and I have had my Rolex watches, 2000$ suits, and at one time 34 pairs of Italian dress shoes in the closet. That is just stuff and the travel was just stuff. It was the things I needed to do business, just like the Rolls I leased to drive.

As for depression, who needs it, just get up off your a** and do something. Just keep running as fast as life will allow and ignore regrets. In other words don't make the same mistake twice.

When it comes to flirting, my flirting is light, still tall though 2 inches shorter at 6-3, but I'll never understand why I am 5 pounds lighter than I was in high school at 173. I guess I was just meant to be a tall skinny kid even in old age.

For those who live in the past and dwell on regrets about the past, who need friends to make them feel better about themselves, I am sorry to say is just an attempt to avoid not having truly lived.

Shalom
 

Chadalina

Hall of Fame
I will always respect the elderly, like they say "I was your age once".

Its a very sad topic, but a reality when people no longer care for their family members.

Fam and friends last alot longer than a $200 or whatever
 

Sentinel

Bionic Poster
For those who live in the past and dwell on regrets about the past, who need friends to make them feel better about themselves, I am sorry to say is just an attempt to avoid not having truly lived.
I am not totally sure what you agree with and what you don't. Your culture is quite different from mine. Suresh would understand. The old people (here) today are not likely to be going to bars or pubs, and I don't think Indian girls get picked up even to this day, but i cannot be sure if things have changed since I don't go out and am a complete loner.

My basic point was of equating happiness with objects. That is fun at most. Temporary feeling you get out of buying a new shirt or car or whatever. Or eating a good dish. Nothing wrong with that. But sureshes philopsophy that rich people are happy and the poor aren't is what I disagree with. I know a lot of rich people who are far from happy, rich kids who are depressed and into drugs etc. I am not saying that poor people are immune from drugs or depression. But objects certainly are not what is determining happiness in either case.

I have been told a lot that having a good social circle also means you will live longer and happier. I am willing to agree with that. However, again suresh says that if you are rich, a lot of people will hang around you and relatives will drop by to get something. That is true, but I don't think those kind of friends give any happiness. I can hardly think he really meant that seriously. I certainly hope he doesn't actually believe that there is happiness in being surrounded by sycophants and "gold-diggers".
 

Raul_SJ

Legend
My basic point was of equating happiness with objects. That is fun at most. Temporary feeling you get out of buying a new shirt or car or whatever.
I would be much less unhappy sitting in first class than cramped economy class. But Economy seat = $1000. First Class = $5000+.
:(
 
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kramer woodie

Professional
I am not totally sure what you agree with and what you don't. Your culture is quite different from mine. Suresh would understand. The old people (here) today are not likely to be going to bars or pubs, and I don't think Indian girls get picked up even to this day, but i cannot be sure if things have changed since I don't go out and am a complete loner.

My basic point was of equating happiness with objects. That is fun at most. Temporary feeling you get out of buying a new shirt or car or whatever. Or eating a good dish. Nothing wrong with that. But sureshes philopsophy that rich people are happy and the poor aren't is what I disagree with. I know a lot of rich people who are far from happy, rich kids who are depressed and into drugs etc. I am not saying that poor people are immune from drugs or depression. But objects certainly are not what is determining happiness in either case.

I have been told a lot that having a good social circle also means you will live longer and happier. I am willing to agree with that. However, again suresh says that if you are rich, a lot of people will hang around you and relatives will drop by to get something. That is true, but I don't think those kind of friends give any happiness. I can hardly think he really meant that seriously. I certainly hope he doesn't actually believe that there is happiness in being surrounded by sycophants and "gold-diggers".
Sentinel

If you were to re-read what I wrote you would find food, drink, clothes, jewelry, cars, or trips are just stuff (or objects if you wish). They are un- important. What is important is only what you as an individual do. Fulfilling a desire to make others happier is self-fulfilling even if it is only giving a smile or a nod of recognition to a stranger you pass on the street.

Life is not about what others should do for you or what others have not done for you. I try to remain independent from needing others. I have been that way my whole life. I have seen old men in wheelchairs left 2-3 on a corner to get out of the rest home to get some air and sun. I make a habit to stop and say high, "what's happening, where are you from, are you enjoying your day". Try to strike up some conversation. Then go my way.

Life is a grand adventure and I hope it remains so until the end. At the age of 73, slowing down, how much time do I have left? While, the answer is easy, I don't know, but I will make an effort to enjoy whatever time I have left, plus enjoy the time with a sense of humor. I definitely do not have time for self pity.

Shalom
 

kramer woodie

Professional
I would be much less unhappy sitting in first class than cramped economy class. But Economy seat = $1000. First Class = $5000+.
:(
Raul_SJ

I hear ya, economy 1000 bucks, first class 5000 plus. Me, I calculate how much interest I will loose on the four grand and what else I could do with that 4000 bucks.

Shalom
 

Azure

Hall of Fame
The old people (here) today are not likely to be going to bars or pubs, and I don't think Indian girls get picked up even to this day, but i cannot be sure if things have changed since I don't go out and am a complete loner.
Yes this culture is still not here. Most old people have this routine post retirement, which btw is 58-60 so not really old. Ladies usually spend their time with more cooking than during their office going days and also make time to visit temples and to catch up with few other ladies in the neighborhood. Other than the cooking, men too have similar activities. A lot of their energies and time goes into taking care of their grandchildren or for supporting their children in every possible way (I find this part a little sad actually). Unfortunately in our parts, 60 is beginning of old age which I don't quite agree with but that is how it is.
I know a lot of rich people who are far from happy, rich kids who are depressed and into drugs etc. I am not saying that poor people are immune from drugs or depression. But objects certainly are not what is determining happiness in either case.
Yes but I think its always best to be financially well off. If you are poor and have no source of money, even your closest people will throw you out. If you have money at least you won't be dependent on another for food.
I have been told a lot that having a good social circle also means you will live longer and happier. I am willing to agree with that.
Yes, but the fact is that most youngsters will not like talking to old folk anyway. Older gen I think try to fool themselves when they say that their children are asking for them to stay with them. I have seen enough of it in my extended families to know that older people with money are an unwelcome guest but the ones with no money will be destitutes and that's happening more often than not.
 

max

Legend
We just need to reach out, take the risk, and open our hand to someone who could be a friend.

THE major difficulty in our times to this is the amazing individuation that has taken place---people are so individualized in taste, personal concerns, hobbies, views, etc., that it's hard to find great commonality with others. Can a person be TOO individual?
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Unfortunately smart alecs like you mistake instant self-gratification for happiness.

Rich people have already done everything by the time they get old. They've travelled, gone on cruises, bought the most expensive of everything, partied, etc etc.
Once they are alone in the end, there is nothing they can fool themselves with any longer.

I know two ladies, close friends of my mother, and fabulously rich. Both depressed. One had been seeing a psychiatrist for over 20 years. One had a heart attack and died early at 73 or so.
By this age, they shun all those who hang around them because they were rich or famous.
Both are/were very kind people, always wanting to know what they could do for us.

Old age isn't as easy as you think it is. There is the burden of the past that many cannot shake off. Maybe your dad's case was different. He was happy to visit his friends or go out and eat. Everyone isn't that happy-go-lucky as that.

Maybe it is tougher for women who have gone through menopause, and particularly having led a tough life in a male dominated socieity where they had to put everyone's needs ahead of their own, and also were never treated as equals at work.

I think at some level you know that your philosophy is not really serious, you are just playing along. But I've seen a lot of people who actually believe it. And they are miserable and frustrated. My (freeloading) brother also believes in your philosophy. But sadly, the latest iPhone or iPad or iWatch has not made him less miserable. But that doesn't stop him from rubbing his philosophy onto others. He believes that life is sitting with your Apple laptop at Starbucks, and eating croissants or whatever.
The BIGGEST fear of folks like my father is what is succinctly summarized in an ad I see by some financial company: Will my money end before I do?

You don't understand that because you retired early and wealthy and live in an ancestral mansion.

Money is the only true friend in old age. And it will get you at least some fake human friends.

My father at 85 is worrying about this everyday specially after the recent treatments which cost me $16,000.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
We just need to reach out, take the risk, and open our hand to someone who could be a friend.

THE major difficulty in our times to this is the amazing individuation that has taken place---people are so individualized in taste, personal concerns, hobbies, views, etc., that it's hard to find great commonality with others. Can a person be TOO individual?
What is this longing for old times when people were less individualized? Such a time did not exist. There was far greater segregation by class, wealth, and other factors back then. Today, many more people across social strata communicate with each other.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Yes but I think its always best to be financially well off. If you are poor and have no source of money, even your closest people will throw you out. If you have money at least you won't be dependent on another for food.
@Sentinel will try to argue with you but don't get fooled. He has stashed away a lot of money for his future but pretends that money is not important.
 
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