Andy Roddick To New Friend Phil Mickelson: 'We're Just Like Roger Federer And Tiger"

Hatari!

Rookie
LOS ANGELES—Despite having a combined 56 fewer career victories, professional tennis player Andy Roddick informed professional golfer Phil Mickelson yesterday during a Make-A-Wish Foundation charity dinner that the two athletes are "just like" professional golfer Tiger Woods and professional tennis player Roger Federer. "He plays golf, you play golf—I'm a professional tennis player, he's a professional tennis player…you have to admit the similarities are striking," Roddick told Mickelson, who vehemently agreed, saying "Yeah, we're totally just like them… The only difference is that they wish they were as cool as us." Woods and Federer were unavailable for comment, as both athletes were reportedly engaged in pleasurable mutual contemplation of the fact that all other people are their physical and mental inferiors, a fact as simple and undeniable as it is immutable.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/andy_roddick_to_new_friend

I hear they ate off of those runner-up trophy plates.
 

naylor

Semi-Pro
A-Rod should mind who he makes friends with...

... just in case Fed starts having the same opinion of him as Tiger apparently has of "Big Phil".

Our Sunday newspaper ran a sports story yesterday under the headline “Sunday Star Times – Williams calls Phil Mickelson a 'pr*ck' – Steve Williams has lifted the lid on how his boss Tiger Woods hates Phil Mickelson. Greg Ford reports.” The actual headline has the full ”i” rather than my “*”, I’m just being mindful of the PC police and readers with a sensitive disposition.

The article goes on to quote another “gem”, first reported in Britain’s Guardian, about a story Williams told about this year's US Open at Torrey Pines, where Woods and Mickelson were paired together. “The two players were walking down the 17th fairway when someone shouted "Phil" in Mickelson's direction. The world No 2 did not respond until the fan shouted, "Hey, Mr Mickelson." When Mickelson turned and waved, the fan yelled out "Nice t*ts". The crowd erupted in laughter; Mickelson went double bogey, bogey and his chances of winning the tournament disappeared.”

Williams confirmed to the Sunday Star Times the story was almost accurate, adding it was his recollection the incident happened at Bethpage – in which case, it would have been at the 2002 US Open. So, those two go back pretty far in their “mutual appreciation”.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sundaystartimes/4792244a6444.html
 
Make a Wish Foundation is a charity that just tears me up. What a wonderful contribution being made by two athletes. Don't know Mickelson but always liked Roddick's off court personality.
 

ThA_Azn_DeViL

Semi-Pro
"I couldn't even tell you who the No. 1 ranked tennis player in the world is right now," Federer said. "It's probably me, still. It is, isn't it? That's so weird when you think about how I don't really care one way or another."

Absolutely HILARIOUS, our teacher made us do an article on The Onion this year, it was loads of fun. =)
 

Sentinel

Bionic Poster
This one's for my dear Nadal fan friends (esp ks..):


Federer, who blames his inability to bring home a French Open title on the fact that it usually falls right in the midst of the NBA postseason when he has other priorities, has also begun to take a liking to golf and often catches himself practicing his swing between sets.
"I couldn't even tell you who the No. 1 ranked tennis player in the world is right now," Federer said. "It's probably me, still. It is, isn't it? That's so weird when you think about how I don't really care one way or another."

Absolutely HILARIOUS, our teacher made us do an article on The Onion this year, it was loads of fun. =)
LMAO !!!
 

Nuke

Hall of Fame
Here's a new one posted yesterday: http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/roger_federer_turns_out_to

December 15, 2008

Roger Federer Turns Out To Be Awful Tennis Player

By winning only the U.S. Open in 2008 and dropping his No. 1 ranking for the first time in four years, 13-time major champion Roger Federer demonstrated to sports fans worldwide that he is actually an awful tennis player and utterly incapable of winning every single tournament in which he participates. "After he convincingly won five straight Wimbledons, and three majors apiece in 2004, 2006, and 2007, I thought he was actually a passable player. However, it turns out that was all a fluke and he is terrible," Boston Globe columnist Bud Collins wrote last July after Federer finished an execrable second at Wimbledon. "I would rather saw off my own leg than have to watch Roger Federer play what he calls 'tennis.'" Federer's year was made worse when, after being unable to defeat Novak Djokovic in straight sets during their U.S. Open semifinals match, professional golfer Tiger Woods called Federer and ended their friendship.
 
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