Bad Financial Decision #37, Expensive Wedding

[Steady Eddy]

Newly married couples in the U.S. like to spend about $30k on their wedding. (They also think that Mom and Dad should foot the bill). $30k spent in simply one day! Invested @ 6% that would be about a quarter million when they retire. But all these Americans are complaining about how they'll "have to" retire without savings.

Or that $30k could be used for the down payment on a house and get them out of renting, and starting to build equity. "Well, Eddy, if that's what they want to do, it's none of your business." If only that were true. All year during the presidential campaign I hear people complaining about money, that they don't have any, and they want someone else, the government, taxpayers, etc. to give it to them. So it is my business. One of the first bits of advice I have is don't have an expensive wedding. I got married with an inexpensive ceremony 30 years ago. You don't need an expensive wedding to have a good marriage. Complete waste.

 

[Midaso240]

Something would seem a bit depressing to me about getting married,and then going back to a rented house rather than your own house...

 

[jaxadam]

One of your kids is getting married, huh?

 

[Steady Eddy]

One of your kids is getting married, huh?

No. A friend of mine. And even though he's the father of the groom, he's paying. When the bride found out he's paying, then the expense got way higher. To me, that's a red flag, but I'm trying to keep quiet about it.

 

[v-verb]

No. A friend of mine. And even though he's the father of the groom, he's paying. When the bride found out he's paying, then the expense got way higher. To me, that's a red flag, but I'm trying to keep quiet about it.

Big red flag

 

[Booger]

Marriage is an outdated legal property contract. For the 99% of us, there's very little upside to it.

 

[mmk]

When they were teenagers I told my daughters I wasn't spending a dime on any weddings, they could just go get married at a JP or wherever. My wife and I got married at the Love Chapel in Tahoe without any friends or family within a thousand miles, just us, the preacher and his wife who acted as witness. We've been married over 30 years, unlike any number of people I know who had expensive weddings and were divorced within 5 years.
Weddings, sweet-sixteen parties, quinceañeras, mitzvahs, funerals, all huge wastes of money for things that last less than a day.

 

[Steady Eddy]

Big red flag

So it's not just me.

Marriage is an outdated legal property contract. For the 99% of us, there's very little upside to it.

True. And if a couple wants to do it, can't they do it without all the "Look at me everybody?"

I've got to take time off of work, get on a plane, just for a boring experience. But I know if I refused, it would cause hurt feelings.

 

[Toyo]

If I was to get married again, I would take all the money and spend it all on the honeymoon instead. But only on these specific dates and locations = early January/Melbourne Australia, late May/Paris France, early July/London England, early September/New York USA. Get the picture?

 

[Steady Eddy]

If I was to get married again, I would take all the money and spend it all on the honeymoon instead. But only on these specific dates and locations = early January/Melbourne Australia, late May/Paris France, early July/London England, early September/New York USA. Get the picture?

Maybe when I retire, I can see all the slams?

 

[Toyo]

Maybe when I retire, I can see all the slams?

I don't know when you'll be retiring, nor can I predict the future, but time is running out to see 3 of the greatest players to ever play the game.

 

[MathGeek]

We didn't have much money when we married. It was small and inexpensive.

$30k sounds like an awful lot. We've tried to emphasize the importance of remaining debt free to our children.

I can't see how most folks could spend $30k on a wedding without serious debt.

 

[acura9927]

USA weddings are nothing compared to Indian weddings. I've only seen them on TV though. I suppose they take it more serious than Americans since they divorce a lot less so thry go for it instead of thinking " hey I got more of these to do"

 

[Sentinel]

USA weddings are nothing compared to Indian weddings. I've only seen them on TV though. I suppose they take it more serious than Americans since they divorce a lot less so thry go for it instead of thinking " hey I got more of these to do"

Did you see suresh's big fat greek wedding on TV ? Which channel ?




Animal Planet ?
..

 

[Deleted member 688153]

Bad Financial Decision #38, Wedding.

 

[Deleted member 688153]

And if a couple wants to do it, can't they do it without all the "Look at me everybody?"

This.

 

[Deleted member 688153]

When the bride found out he's paying, then the expense got way higher.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_mining_in_the_United_States

 

[Tennis_Hands]

We didn't have much money when we married. It was small and inexpensive.

$30k sounds like an awful lot. We've tried to emphasize the importance of remaining debt free to our children.

I can't see how most folks could spend $30k on a wedding without serious debt.

What are those 30k normally going to?

 

[Disgruntled Worker]

Was just at an expensive wedding last night. Food was lousy, band was sub-par.

Two people that I respect tremendously, who had a lot of money back when they got married and have even more money today, didn't have any party at all. Got their license at city hall and that was that. Nine years later, it's still going strong.

On the other hand, the people whose marriage I went to last night are a little less savvy financially. The groom, who is my uncle, depleted most of his savings in one night. And that's really a microcosm of his entire life, blowing away his hard-earned money on short-term extravagance. He could be saving for his daughter's college tuition, making a down payment on his house, or just anticipating an emergency. A wedding is the purest example of how money can NEVER buy love.

 

[Vcore89]

Maybe when I retire, I can see all the slams?

Doing things in your 20s must be different when you are 65?

 

[mhkeuns]

I think younger people are getting smarter. Some are saving that money to put down on a house. Some use it to travel the world. Of course, it's a special day, and I understand that the bride would want to feel special on her wedding day, but I'd question anyone who would want those extravagant weddings because it is a terrible way to spend the hard earned money. Too many better alternatives...

 

[Steady Eddy]

What are those 30k normally going to?

http://money.cnn.com/2015/03/12/pf/planning-for-wedding-costs/
"The venue eats up the biggest portion of the budget with an average of $14,006, followed by the engagement ring at $5,855 and the band at $3,587. The average catering price per guest rang up at $68 in 2014."

 

[Nostradamus]

Newly married couples in the U.S. like to spend about $30k on their wedding. (They also think that Mom and Dad should foot the bill). $30k spent in simply one day! Invested @ 6% that would be about a quarter million when they retire. But all these Americans are complaining about how they'll "have to" retire without savings.

Or that $30k could be used for the down payment on a house and get them out of renting, and starting to build equity. "Well, Eddy, if that's what they want to do, it's none of your business." If only that were true. All year during the presidential campaign I hear people complaining about money, that they don't have any, and they want someone else, the government, taxpayers, etc. to give it to them. So it is my business. One of the first bits of advice I have is don't have an expensive wedding. I got married with an inexpensive ceremony 30 years ago. You don't need an expensive wedding to have a good marriage. Complete waste.

isn't this only once in a lifetime event and should be Special ???????

 

[TenCanFan]

isn't this only once in a lifetime event and should be Special ???????

Money doesn't make it special.

 

[Tennis_Hands]

http://money.cnn.com/2015/03/12/pf/planning-for-wedding-costs/
"The venue eats up the biggest portion of the budget with an average of $14,006, followed by the engagement ring at $5,855 and the band at $3,587. The average catering price per guest rang up at $68 in 2014."

That is some umwisely spent cash.

 

[SoBad]

I think we can all agree that wedding costs should be borne by the bride's family and should not exceed 1/3 of the dowry.

 

[Nostradamus]

Money doesn't make it special.

yea but bigger and fancier with bigger ring makes it more special, does it not ?

 

[mhkeuns]

yea but bigger and fancier with bigger ring makes it more special, does it not ?

Yeah... That's what she said. Size does matter, I suppose.

 

[newpball]

Newly married couples in the U.S. like to spend about $30k on their wedding. (They also think that Mom and Dad should foot the bill). $30k spent in simply one day! Invested @ 6% that would be about a quarter million when they retire. But all these Americans are complaining about how they'll "have to" retire without savings.

Or that $30k could be used for the down payment on a house and get them out of renting, and starting to build equity. "Well, Eddy, if that's what they want to do, it's none of your business." If only that were true. All year during the presidential campaign I hear people complaining about money, that they don't have any, and they want someone else, the government, taxpayers, etc. to give it to them. So it is my business. One of the first bits of advice I have is don't have an expensive wedding. I got married with an inexpensive ceremony 30 years ago. You don't need an expensive wedding to have a good marriage. Complete waste.

Well, I think that families that can blow away 30k in one day probably have no issues having a down payment for a house.

And what's up with all this "American's" attack?
People are allowed to do what they want with their own damned money!
It is called freedom!

 

[Toyo]

Also, more than half of married couples need to save money to give to their divorce lawyers

 

[SoBad]

Also, more than half of married couples need to save money to give to their divorce lawyers

Divorce lawyers aim for 1/3 of marital assets, but most of the loot usually goes to the judge.

 

[Deleted member 733170]

Great if you can afford it and that's what both the bride and groom want to do.

It's a shame for people who can't really afford it to succumb to the pressure of spending all that money, when clearly there are more productive avenues with which to enhance your life.

 

[Steady Eddy]

Well, I think that families that can blow away 30k in one day probably have no issues having a down payment for a house.

And what's up with all this "American's" attack?
People are allowed to do what they want with their own damned money!
It is called freedom!

Good point, and I'd like to make it clear that I don't oppose freedom. First, I say "Americans" because I know this forum is not only made up of Americans. I don't know about how much weddings cost in other countries.

Here's where I think this does become my business. You know the story of the ant and the grasshopper? Well, I'm an ant. Never made much money, but I was able to invest regularly for a long time. My friends, mostly grasshoppers, made way more money but have nothing to show for it by living large. Some of them joke about living with me for their retirement, (I hope they're only joking). But in the presidential campaign I hear lots of ominous talk about a majority using their votes to take away what others have.

Many people who are good at making money, are not good at keeping it. They wonder, "Where did I go wrong?" So I'm here to help everyone. One example is the stupid, show offy, super expensive wedding. Later we can discuss, luxury cars, McMansions, gambling, and underwriting worthless degreees.

 

[Steady Eddy]

Great if you can afford it and that's what both the bride and groom want to do.

It's a shame for people who can't really afford it to succumb to the pressure of spending all that money, when clearly there are more productive avenues with which to enhance your life.

http://money.cnn.com/2015/03/12/pf/planning-for-wedding-costs/
Headline says, "Couples Now Spend Over $30,000 to get Married", and it has links to see how much they cost in different areas. This isn't only the 1% ers.

I think you're right that a lot of the pressure comes from trying to outdo a peer's wedding.

 

[jaxadam]

One thing I've learned is that people are going to spend their money (or rack up debt) how they see fit, and no amount of financial coaching will change their mind or their habits.

Some do "live large" and go to the grave broke or with massive debts accrued. Others are thrifty a majority of their lives and go to their grave with substantial assets relatives get to fight over. I'd say one of these groups probably has a little more fun than the other but it might be wise to try to strike a balance between both.

 

[acura9927]

The stock market has rebounded like thunder since 08 and home prices are soaring in many big cities. ( have you seen the bidding wars in Seattle?). So many parents of these kids have nothing to do with the money but weddings.

 

[Steady Eddy]

One thing I've learned is that people are going to spend their money (or rack up debt) how they see fit, and no amount of financial coaching will change their mind or their habits.

Some do "live large" and go to the grave broke or with massive debts accrued. Others are thrifty a majority of their lives and go to their grave with substantial assets relatives get to fight over. I'd say one of these groups probably has a little more fun than the other but it might be wise to try to strike a balance between both.

As a kid I used to hear stories about someone, and then they'd say, "He died broke", like it was sad. And I thought to myself, "Died broke? That's perfection!" It's just if the money runs out before you die that sucks.

It's really sad to see someone who despises their job, but is trapped for financial reasons. That's what money is good for. If descendants seem to understand this, good. If they don't, I think a local animal shelter could use the money.

 

[Sysyphus]

Bad financial decision #38: not being born into a rich family.

 

[Sysyphus]

But in the presidential campaign I hear lots of ominous talk about a majority using their votes to take away what others have.

Yes. Private tyranny would be much preferable to democracy.

 

[augustobt]

ahhahahahahha 30k USD? That would be a cheap wedding in Brazil - even if you take the actual currency, as 1 USD to 3.5BRL then you have R$105k. Brazilian society in general is quite idiot, but regarding weddings they got even more. Like financing a wedding in 15 years (instead of financing a house, for example).

My mother works as an event planner and I've seen lots and lots of weddings ceremonies that costed north of R$250k (that would be US$70k).

 

[jaxadam]

Bad Financial Decision #39: Playing Tennis

 

[BarNotchky]

All year during the presidential campaign I hear people complaining about money, that they don't have any, and they want someone else, the government, taxpayers, etc. to give it to them. So it is my business.

But in the presidential campaign I hear lots of ominous talk about a majority using their votes to take away what others have.

I, too, am emphatically against more income redistribution policies. However I do not yet feel threatened by excess spending of a matrimonial nature.

 

[MathGeek]

isn't this only once in a lifetime event and should be Special ???????

I told a close friend when they got married, "I'm only going to attend one of your weddings, do you want this to be the one?"

God bless him, still married after almost 20 years!

 

[NuBas]

Wedding, venue, dress, and ring all sounds materialistic to me and not really truly about love.

I will never understand why people pay that much, most likely they just trying to outdo another bride.

 

[Disgruntled Worker]

I told a close friend when they got married, "I'm only going to attend one of your weddings, do you want this to be the one?"

God bless him, still married after almost 20 years!

Was your friend named "Larry King" by any chance?

 

[MathGeek]

I told a close friend when they got married, "I'm only going to attend one of your weddings, do you want this to be the one?"

God bless him, still married after almost 20 years!

Was your friend named "Larry King" by any chance?

No. This gentleman was preparing for his first and only marriage. But he came from a family where the men were all well known for failed marriages and multiple weddings. Being well acquainted with the family tradition of multiple marriages, I was trying to encourage this close friend to break out of the pattern and not become part of the empty way of life modeled for him by the other men in his family.

On the surface, it may seem like money problems sink a lot of marriages, but from my own observations it is more likely to be adultery, substance abuse, and the desire for an easier path when the going gets difficult.

 

[hollywood9826]

I have been to a bunch of different weddings.

2 most expensive ones are the two that didn't last. Kinda funny how that worked out.

My friend chad got married at a wedding chapel in Elkton MD. It was the same place Babe Ruth got married. His parents and grandparents and her parents and grandparents were the only ones to go. Then it was basically a cookout/crab feast and a few more people were invited to celebrate. The entire ordeal was less than 2 grand.

I had another buddy that cleaned his barn out had the ceremony outside we sat on some hay bails covered in plastic. Then they had a nice catered meals in the barn and a couple kegs of brews. he splurged and had the nicest portable rest room I have ever seen. Still was not super expensive and was very nice deal.

30k under no circumstances can I see as justifiable for 98 percent of the population.

 

[SoBad]

http://money.cnn.com/2015/03/12/pf/planning-for-wedding-costs/
Headline says, "Couples Now Spend Over $30,000 to get Married", and it has links to see how much they cost in different areas. This isn't only the 1% ers.

I think you're right that a lot of the pressure comes from trying to outdo a peer's wedding.

Article sponsored by a major wedding planner lol. Who did they survey exactly, their clients?

 

[r2473]

Newly married couples in the U.S. like to spend about $30k on their wedding. (They also think that Mom and Dad should foot the bill). $30k spent in simply one day! Invested @ 6% that would be about a quarter million when they retire. But all these Americans are complaining about how they'll "have to" retire without savings.

Or that $30k could be used for the down payment on a house and get them out of renting, and starting to build equity. "Well, Eddy, if that's what they want to do, it's none of your business." If only that were true. All year during the presidential campaign I hear people complaining about money, that they don't have any, and they want someone else, the government, taxpayers, etc. to give it to them. So it is my business. One of the first bits of advice I have is don't have an expensive wedding. I got married with an inexpensive ceremony 30 years ago. You don't need an expensive wedding to have a good marriage. Complete waste.

It's funny to apply male logic to a female emotional event.

Talk about a recipe for a bad married life

 

[Deleted member 733170]

^^ I take it we are all familiar with the term 'Bridezilla'!?

 

[Spin Doctor]

Keep in mind that the cost of a lot of these weddings is often recouped from parents and guests at the wedding. I will bet that people from certain cultures (where cash is often given as a wedding gift) can actually MAKE money from their wedding. The folks foot the bill for the wedding, then any cash gifts is just profit.