Called my wife goat and now it's become a thing

TTMR

TTMR

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So last weekend the wife and I were chilling out on the deck, having a good time, her with her favourite Chardonnay and me with a six year old Crown Royal.

She mentioned that she picked up a new blade for the riding mower while she happened to be near the hardware store. It had been cutting uneven for weeks.

Grateful, I said, "Honey, you know you're the GOAT, right?"

"What?"

"GOAT". I thought she knew what it meant. We watched the Tom Brady roast together.

"Did you just call me a goat?" Now at this point I thought she was riffing, so I played along.

"Well the horns fit," I answered with a smile, making horn shapes with my index fingers above my head.

"How can you say that?!?" She reacted as she stormed into the house. I followed her.

"It means greatest of all time, it's a compliment."

"Sure it is. You know you always do this. You say something hurtful and then try and weasel you're way out of it. For once I wish you'd be a man and tell me what you really think of me."

"For crying out loud, honey, I called you The GOAT. Don't you remember the Tom Brady thing a few weeks back?"

"You said 'a' goat, not 'THE GOAT'"

"No I didn't, I said 'the'."

"'A' 'a'"

I tried to interject but she just going.

"You said 'a' 'a' 'a' 'a'--'goat'. Quit backtracking."

"Fine." At this point I tried to apologize, but she just shook her head and went to her room to watch Grey's Anatomy. It's been silent treatment ever since, and the house is tense as hell.

Not sure how to get myself out of this predicament, but once again Novak Djokovic has put me in a corner. Ideas?
 
travlerajm said:
Can you afford a trip to Paris? That’s the only thing that works for me.
Click to expand...
It sounds like a plan but I'm a little short on liquidity at the moment and she wouldn't approve of selling assets.

I'd probably have to pick a different destination anyway. I don't want to accidentally remind her of the time I told her she "smelled French" after putting on some Chanel perfume.
 
Tell her some of the positive things about 4 legged goats and she will realize it was a compliment…….

They are intelligent and quick to learn good and bad habits, such as opening gate latches. A goat's natural curiosity may lead it to investigate new items by sniffing and nibbling, but goats will quickly refuse anything that is dirty or distasteful. Goats can climb, run and crawl.

They are one of the cleanliest animals and are much more selective feeders than cows, sheep, pigs, swine and even dogs. Goats are very intelligent and curious animals. Their inquisitive nature is exemplified in their constant desire to explore and investigate anything unfamiliar which they come across
 
TTMR said:
So last weekend the wife and I were chilling out on the deck, having a good time, her with her favourite Chardonnay and me with a six year old Crown Royal.

She mentioned that she picked up a new blade for the riding mower while she happened to be near the hardware store. It had been cutting uneven for weeks.

Grateful, I said, "Honey, you know you're the GOAT, right?"

"What?"

"GOAT". I thought she knew what it meant. We watched the Tom Brady roast together.

"Did you just call me a goat?" Now at this point I thought she was riffing, so I played along.

"Well the horns fit," I answered with a smile, making horn shapes with my index fingers above my head.

"How can you say that?!?" She reacted as she stormed into the house. I followed her.

"It means greatest of all time, it's a compliment."

"Sure it is. You know you always do this. You say something hurtful and then try and weasel you're way out of it. For once I wish you'd be a man and tell me what you really think of me."

"For crying out loud, honey, I called you The GOAT. Don't you remember the Tom Brady thing a few weeks back?"

"You said 'a' goat, not 'THE GOAT'"

"No I didn't, I said 'the'."

"'A' 'a'"

I tried to interject but she just going.

"You said 'a' 'a' 'a' 'a'--'goat'. Quit backtracking."

"Fine." At this point I tried to apologize, but she just shook her head and went to her room to watch Grey's Anatomy. It's been silent treatment ever since, and the house is tense as hell.

Not sure how to get myself out of this predicament, but once again Novak Djokovic has put me in a corner. Ideas?
Click to expand...
A female goat is called a doe or a nanny. Doe refers to any female that is not rearing young—nanny is a female goat that is actively rearing young. There are different terms to refer to female goats at different stages of their life, but the most important one to know is doe.
 
vokazu said:
It's all about the curves.
Click to expand...
Perhaps you can get a custom T-shirt like the one below but substitute COWS for SHEEP. And your region of choice for TEXAS.

nervous-sheep.jpg

Have seen similar shirts for Montana & Scotland
 
Last edited:
travlerajm said:
Can you afford a trip to Paris? That’s the only thing that works for me.
Click to expand...
I have to tell you, I've hatched an even better plan...... I married my French sweetheart who was born in Paris!!
Of course, along with this deal, as you might suspect, comes homemade beef burgundy (beef Bourguignon),
authentic crepes Suzette, chicken stew (coq au vin), and all this at the snap of my red clay dirty fingers!!
Actually, what I should do, is raise some pheasants, rabbits, elk, in the backyard, and dine like Napoleon!!!

The disadvantage is racking up the cost for two of always flying between France and Florida. You can't win everything!!
Oh,...and my faithful mule Molisa in Florida ...... I had to train her to sneak onto the golf course at midnight, and eat
the grass while I'm in France. (The gardener can't understand why the grass doesn't grow tall around hole #7!!)
------ So Be It ⚜ ------
 
TTMR said:
So last weekend the wife and I were chilling out on the deck, having a good time, her with her favourite Chardonnay and me with a six year old Crown Royal.

She mentioned that she picked up a new blade for the riding mower while she happened to be near the hardware store. It had been cutting uneven for weeks.

Grateful, I said, "Honey, you know you're the GOAT, right?"

"What?"

"GOAT". I thought she knew what it meant. We watched the Tom Brady roast together.

"Did you just call me a goat?" Now at this point I thought she was riffing, so I played along.

"Well the horns fit," I answered with a smile, making horn shapes with my index fingers above my head.

"How can you say that?!?" She reacted as she stormed into the house. I followed her.

"It means greatest of all time, it's a compliment."

"Sure it is. You know you always do this. You say something hurtful and then try and weasel you're way out of it. For once I wish you'd be a man and tell me what you really think of me."

"For crying out loud, honey, I called you The GOAT. Don't you remember the Tom Brady thing a few weeks back?"

"You said 'a' goat, not 'THE GOAT'"

"No I didn't, I said 'the'."

"'A' 'a'"

I tried to interject but she just going.

"You said 'a' 'a' 'a' 'a'--'goat'. Quit backtracking."

"Fine." At this point I tried to apologize, but she just shook her head and went to her room to watch Grey's Anatomy. It's been silent treatment ever since, and the house is tense as hell.

Not sure how to get myself out of this predicament, but once again Novak Djokovic has put me in a corner. Ideas?
Click to expand...
You should be executed by a firing squad at noon.
 
vokazu said:
A cow is like a beautiful srsh, a goat is like a handsome sntnl.
Click to expand...
"Please, can we all just get along??"..... Oh, wait, erase that!! Those were compassionate words from Rodney King, not me.
What I should ask is, "Can we have a little love for the faithful forgotten mules of this hectic world??"
Think of it; a mule will carry your 12 racquet bag, your portable stringing machine, your deluxe George Foreman Grill,
all without complaints between tournament cities, so you don't have to pay wicked extra baggage airline charges!!
And if for some reason you get completely drunk at the victory party, you can trust your mule to safely carry you home!!
------So Be It ⚜ ------
 
I'm starting to feel that this dispute over who is a/the GOAT might be signifying deeper concerns in the relationship.

The wife has said she wants to "take a break" while she "considers [her] options". If I were a paranoid man, I might be worried about things. Thankfully I've got a level head on my shoulders.

Speculations?
 
TTMR said:
So last weekend the wife and I were chilling out on the deck, having a good time, her with her favourite Chardonnay and me with a six year old Crown Royal.

She mentioned that she picked up a new blade for the riding mower while she happened to be near the hardware store. It had been cutting uneven for weeks.

Grateful, I said, "Honey, you know you're the GOAT, right?"

"What?"

"GOAT". I thought she knew what it meant. We watched the Tom Brady roast together.

"Did you just call me a goat?" Now at this point I thought she was riffing, so I played along.

"Well the horns fit," I answered with a smile, making horn shapes with my index fingers above my head.

"How can you say that?!?" She reacted as she stormed into the house. I followed her.

"It means greatest of all time, it's a compliment."

"Sure it is. You know you always do this. You say something hurtful and then try and weasel you're way out of it. For once I wish you'd be a man and tell me what you really think of me."

"For crying out loud, honey, I called you The GOAT. Don't you remember the Tom Brady thing a few weeks back?"

"You said 'a' goat, not 'THE GOAT'"

"No I didn't, I said 'the'."

"'A' 'a'"

I tried to interject but she just going.

"You said 'a' 'a' 'a' 'a'--'goat'. Quit backtracking."

"Fine." At this point I tried to apologize, but she just shook her head and went to her room to watch Grey's Anatomy. It's been silent treatment ever since, and the house is tense as hell.

Not sure how to get myself out of this predicament, but once again Novak Djokovic has put me in a corner. Ideas?
Click to expand...
Goat like Federer or someone else ?
 
Last edited:
TTMR said:
I'm starting to feel that this dispute over who is a/the GOAT might be signifying deeper concerns in the relationship.

The wife has said she wants to "take a break" while she "considers [her] options". If I were a paranoid man, I might be worried about things. Thankfully I've got a level head on my shoulders.

Speculations?
Click to expand...
I hope things improve at your household next week.
 
travlerajm said:
Re-reading the OP the second time, I realize I didn’t catch the goat onomatopoeias in there on the first read. Key part of the story really.
Click to expand...
RIGHT❗ Just like I didn't catch the onomatopoeia imitative harmony in that dumb jerk of a policeman,
when he smugly walked up to my MGB, and said, "Well son, would you agree that there's been some speeding here??"
 
TTMR said:
Needless to say, she has stopped picking up packages for me.
Click to expand...
Here's the REAL DEAL!! Trust me!! Forget the packages. If she looks like the photo by the name "Nostradamus",
I'll make you an even trade for my Mule Molisa!! Then you can sell your dumb riding mower at a garage sale,
because Molisa will happily eat your grass down to the proper level!! To let your wife adjust to me, I'll buy
your neighbor's house, and we'll chill out on the sundeck, while we watch Molisa do her work at your place!!
------ So Be It ⚜ ------
 
TTMR said:
So last weekend the wife and I were chilling out on the deck, having a good time, her with her favourite Chardonnay and me with a six year old Crown Royal.

She mentioned that she picked up a new blade for the riding mower while she happened to be near the hardware store. It had been cutting uneven for weeks.

Grateful, I said, "Honey, you know you're the GOAT, right?"

"What?"

"GOAT". I thought she knew what it meant. We watched the Tom Brady roast together.

"Did you just call me a goat?" Now at this point I thought she was riffing, so I played along.

"Well the horns fit," I answered with a smile, making horn shapes with my index fingers above my head.

"How can you say that?!?" She reacted as she stormed into the house. I followed her.

"It means greatest of all time, it's a compliment."

"Sure it is. You know you always do this. You say something hurtful and then try and weasel you're way out of it. For once I wish you'd be a man and tell me what you really think of me."

"For crying out loud, honey, I called you The GOAT. Don't you remember the Tom Brady thing a few weeks back?"

"You said 'a' goat, not 'THE GOAT'"

"No I didn't, I said 'the'."

"'A' 'a'"

I tried to interject but she just going.

"You said 'a' 'a' 'a' 'a'--'goat'. Quit backtracking."

"Fine." At this point I tried to apologize, but she just shook her head and went to her room to watch Grey's Anatomy. It's been silent treatment ever since, and the house is tense as hell.

Not sure how to get myself out of this predicament, but once again Novak Djokovic has put me in a corner. Ideas?
Click to expand...
This never would have happened with TIGER
 
As thee singer Ray Charles shouted from thy mountain top untoward ALL citizens of thy grand Hamlet far below,
"I proclaim to all, that before thy full blood-moon does striketh over thy village once, twice, thrice; that my last wish
will be granted to see a TRUE PHOTO of that famous "goat couple," or singing will be heard no more! NO MORE!!"
And from thy Hamlets far and near, the restless chant continues; "We want true pictures of Nostradamus!!"
------ So Be It ⚜ ------
 
Last edited:
Larry Duff said:
I wonder if anyone ever calls their goat wife?
Click to expand...
Funny that you should ask that question!! Actually, I DO know a lonely chap who told me that his hairy goat IS his "wife"!!
To tell the truth, he's sitting on the ground right next to me, and annoyingly, he keeps ranting "Hee Haw, Hee Haw, Hee Haw!!"
Perhaps before you start to get the wrong idea, maybe a little explaining might be in order here....

Some days ago, after single-handedly nearly destroying this thread, I was kidnapped and sent to this dirty abomination
of a cave in Outer Mongolia, and chained to a dead water buffalo. They said this should supply my food for about a month.
This other fellow is tied at the opposite end, and he told me that he was sent here ten years ago, on account of his habit
of making completely stupid comments on the serious TTW!! Uhhh,...that DID start me thinking!!... (But too late now!!)
------ So Be It ⚜ ------
 
I called my son the GOAT of being lazy and kicked his lazy bum OUT Of my house the DAY he turned 18! Best thing I could have done, tough love. GOAT.
 
Bartelby said:
I called my wife a SOAK and she said "I'll drink to that".
Click to expand...
Here we go again,... my brain is spewing suds out of my ears, trying to understand the meaning of "SOAK."
As far as I humanly dare to comment, I think it means,... "SECRET OPERATIVE AGAINST KNIGHTHOOD."
My God, your wife may be in deep trouble, when the Hamlet citizens learn that their lifetime goal of
officially being Knighted, may be sabotaged!! I've seen an abandoned hut where she must take refuge now!!
------ So Be It ⚜ ------
 
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