CanadianChic's Corner - The NON-Chat Cafe Bar and Bistro

stringertom

Bionic Poster
John Cleese strolls down Bistro Street and into the Bistro.


John thinks he spots Maria Sharapova in a dark corner, drinking alone.


He asks loudly, "Where is Senator Bullworth? I have a few jokes to share with him." An awkward silence abruptly envelopes the Bistro.

The lemur yells, "Chris Edwards had him shot!" and jumps on his shoulder.


Maria stands up, and it doesn't seem to be her.


The wig comes off,


and it is Chris Edwards. He yells repeatedly that he didn't shoot the Senator, straightens his spring collection Maria Sharapova dress, and angrily marches out of the Bistro.

The lemur takes another swig of Stoli Fly Agaric, and tries to figure out if it is 11:33 or going on seven.
You are right about the time four times a day!
 

Mike Bulgakov

G.O.A.T.
Anything that Mr Cleese wants is on the house! The lemur and LPV are very excited by his visit, as am I
Mr. Cleese accepts ILC's kind offer. He sits down with Dedans to enjoy a pint of Stoli Fly Agaric and a plate of ILC's famous eggplant parmigiana.

A drunk Dane enters the Bistro with a case of Guld Tuborg. The lemur greets her.
 

CCNM

Hall of Fame
*orders a LaBlatt Blue and tries to talk to Ms. Caroline about her face and body paint* Peter-great to hear about the continuing success of your daughter-will we be seeing her in the Olympics one day? CC-saw a little bit of 60 Minutes's interview with Prime Minister J. Trudeau the other night. Is it just me or does he look like a young Mario Lemieux?
 

ilovecarlos

Professional
Waves to Senti! Hi honey! How's my favorite pup lover? Oh my dearest Beloved Dedans.....he makes me smile every day. Tom, the lemur is well known for his neck massages;) Love and hugs to everyone!
 
Oh my dearest Beloved Dedans.....he makes me smile every day.
Bonjour mon amour, in the City of Lights early this year.....staying at regular jaunt (le Bristol) but haven't yet seen the house cats (Pharoah and Cleopatra) stealing about thus far...

What's between us and our pants is between 15 and 20 feet of well worn broadloom : )
 
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Mike Bulgakov

G.O.A.T.
Bonjour mon amour, in the City of Lights early this year.....staying at regular jaunt (le Bristol) but haven't yet seen the house cats (Pharoah and Cleopatra) stealing about thus far...

What's between us and our pants is between 15 and 20 feet of well worn broadloom : )
If you have a nice winter's coat, and like clean air and a relative lack of tourists, this is a very good time to visit Paris. Have a great time!
 

ilovecarlos

Professional
I'm counting the days until my annual jaunt to Alba. Leaving April 14 and returning May 2. I need it badly. the past few months have been unkind. Have found a new source for my newest vice.....Arran Gold. It's what Bailey's wants to be when it grows up! It's made on the isle of Arran. I may import a case or 2 to the Bistro and see how it sells (hopefully not all to me).

Senti, can't wait to see some pics of your newest best buddy!

Happy spring everyone....blows kisses to all
 
Happy birthday, ILC! We were going to send you a birthday cake with Sureshs inside dressed in that Borat one piece mankini, but he ate the cake from the inside out before the elephant tranquilizer dart took effect.
 
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stringertom

Bionic Poster
You had better be kidding. Their saving on gas will be over-compensated by the huge food bills.

Wherever they visit, the country/city will implement a new restroom tax.
@ilovecarlos could float over to Scotland on the Poobenburg, which is a very energy-conscious form of transportation...Poobs simply fills up at an AYCE burrito joint before departure and the necessary fuel for the long flight over the Atlantic is then gradually released from his infernal combustion contraption underneath the slime green tent and baggy shorts. Should the Poobenburg start losing altitude along the way, there will be a few Awesome Blossoms stored away as a contingency.

Our lovely passenger will be safe as long as she keeps her TSV-approved gas mask handy.:eek:
 

Sentinel

Bionic Poster
@ilovecarlos could float over to Scotland on the Poobenburg, which is a very energy-conscious form of transportation
Yes, but to reach Scotland crossing the Atlantic on this "energy-conscious form of transportation" could take weeks if not months. What if the Poobenburg loses altitude over the pond, as you say ? How will he refuel ?
 

stringertom

Bionic Poster
Yes, but to reach Scotland crossing the Atlantic on this "energy-conscious form of transportation" could take weeks if not months. What if the Poobenburg loses altitude over the pond, as you say ? How will he refuel ?
I detailed the emergency fuel reserves...several Awesome Blossoms will be stowed away for that contingency!:eek:

Don't underestimate the top speed of the Poobenburg...the gas from an AYCE raid, while dangerous to breathe, is highly energetic and lighter than air so it helps streamline the craft for that long journey.:eek:
 
I detailed the emergency fuel reserves...several Awesome Blossoms will be stowed away for that contingency!:eek:

Don't underestimate the top speed of the Poobenburg...the gas from an AYCE raid, while dangerous to breathe, is highly energetic and lighter than air so it helps streamline the craft for that long journey.:eek:
That's fine and dandy as long as ILV or Dedans don't light a match. If they do, "Oh, the huge manatee!"
 

Mike Bulgakov

G.O.A.T.
The lemur and LPV still await ILC's return from Scotland with a stash of single malts. In the meantime, the lemur places a Bistro order.


The horses are tired, as the San Diego Bageler is passed-out in the carriage. The carriers are vague when Mr. Lemurov asks about the fruit and beer being delivered.
 

stringertom

Bionic Poster
The lemur and LPV still await ILC's return from Scotland with a stash of single malts. In the meantime, the lemur places a Bistro order.


The horses are tired, as the San Diego Bageler is passed-out in the carriage. The carriers are vague when Mr. Lemurov asks about the fruit and beer being delivered.
If those massive steeds can't pull the Poobs, I would be overmatched on my pedicab and would need lots of bananas before and even more Carlsbergs afterwards.
 

Vcore89

G.O.A.T.
The lemur and LPV still await ILC's return from Scotland with a stash of single malts. In the meantime, the lemur places a Bistro order.


The horses are tired, as the San Diego Bageler is passed-out in the carriage. The carriers are vague when Mr. Lemurov asks about the fruit and beer being delivered.
Fruit and beer, how about the Bull and Bear?;)
 

ilovecarlos

Professional
Hello Bistro Peeps! Happy Fourth of July and a great big happy birthday to my most Beloved, Mr Dedans Penthouse. We are celebrating quietly this year. You all know of our fondness for submarine races and canoodling? well, that's where we are and that's what we're doing. Back later!
 

stringertom

Bionic Poster
I guess Cibulková was tired today after last night's pre-marriage bacchanal of fun, where she shook her booty all night with Dedans and company.
Dominika fails the first clause of the age of legal drinking statutes...she is not tall enough to reach the Bistro bar.

One advantage for her suffering through being altitudinally challenged though...If she had a flat head, I could rest my drink there while she gave her oral dissertation on the merits of Cranial Satisfaction.:eek:
 
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