Dealing with frustration / opponent's lucky shots

[time_fly]

I can get really frustrated to the point where it hurts my game when I'm being aggressive and my opponent gets lucky on defense. For example they stab it off the frame and it trickles over the net, or I hit a hard body serve that they volley awkwardly but the ball flies 40 feet high in the air and lands on the back corner lines. If I lose a couple points in one game (and maybe therefore the game itself) like this I get really thrown off. I either start over-hitting or just generally get a negative outlook. Any suggestions?

 

[AM75]

Just shake it off, forget and play another point.

 

[Deleted member 23235]

it's like a bad beat in poker... if you're playing the odds, your opponnent can't get lucky forever.
just keep playing the same way.

it's "lucky" because you're outplaying them.

 

[comeback]

Lucky shots like a net cord is frustrating but i can accept them as i have hit many.... but the worst for me is when my opponent gets a lucky stab off of a point that i should have won, especially on a game point that changes the outcome

 

[USAFA10s]

As a player who makes a massive number of these "lucky" shots in a match, give your opponent some credit for making a play on the ball and move on. I put lucky in quotes because while the placement of these can sometimes be quite fortunate, it's the hours I've spent developing my reaction time and touch to make these possible. If they truly are getting lucky, they won't make many so it won't matter. If it keeps happening, then it's not luck, you need to counter it. If they are often high balls that land on the corner, get it out of the air. Dribbles over the net you'll have to shake off, but those are much less common.

 

[ChaelAZ]

Do you get as frustrated when you get that kind of luck against an opponent?

Yeah....

 

[mad dog1]

In my experience, the better the player, the “luckier” he is. So if the player is better than you, he generally has better “luck”.

 

[GeoffHYL]

Recently had a day where I had at least 6 let cords drop on the other side of the net, none on my side. Opponents saying I should go to Las Vegas or buy a lottery ticket. Yes, some of it is luck, but it is not unusual for me to get "lucky" on net cords, mis-hits, balls landing just inside the baseline. It is part of the game, so no matter if you are on the giving or receiving side of "luck", just accept it as part of the game.

 

[Dartagnan64]

Tennis is always a match of your skill against your opponents luck. Need to learn to deal with that.

I suggest taking up golf. Then you'll really see what bad breaks are all about.

 

[thehustler]

I get those shots all the time as well. Had a couple mis-hits yesterday that landed with enough spin right on the baseline. Fooled my opponent, but I reminded him that my mis-hits generally go in. Same thing as USAFA10s said applies to me. I have a good reaction time and can get some good stabs that just fall short over the net, or have a crazy spin that the opponent gets fooled on.

How would you prefer to lose? Unforced errors on your side? Your opponent hitting winners from all over the place? You play tennis long enough, or heck any sport long enough you'll get into enough situations where some opponents get all the lucky shots. Sometimes it is luck and other times it's skill disguised as luck. If an opponent was deliberately aiming at the net cord and getting the ball to constantly drop over then I tip the cap and ask what their trick to doing that is. That's not luck, that's a dang skill. If it's random stabs there's not much you can do. Just remind them that you owe them one so when you get them back you don't feel bad about it.

 

[Curious]

Maybe points or a game but I doubt luck can win you a match.

 

[a12345]

It actually annoys me when people say sorry after the ball hits the net and trickles over to my side.

Why are you saying sorry, you're not sorry. If I clip the net and it trickles over, i'm not sorry, i'm glad. There's nothing to apologise for, it's part of the game.

If a serve hits the line and I get an ace I don't say sorry, I didn't mean to get it that close to the line, you're so unlucky and i'm so lucky.

 

[user92626]

It actually annoys me when people say sorry after the ball hits the net and trickles over.

Why are you saying sorry, you're not sorry. If I clip the net and it trickles over, i'm not sorry, i'm glad. There's nothing to apologise for, it's part of the game.

If a serve hits the line and I get an ace I don't say sorry, I didn't mean to get it that close to the line.

You're annoyed because you think everyone thinks like you -- superficial or dishonest.

While you're glad that you earn a point that way, other (decent) people want to show that they do not intend or want to win by luck. It's a nice gesture by good sportsmanship people -- you know, those who want to win by their merits (ie hitting winners, forced, unforced errors, that kind of things).

 

[atp2015]

I can get really frustrated to the point where it hurts my game when I'm being aggressive and my opponent gets lucky on defense. For example they stab it off the frame and it trickles over the net, or I hit a hard body serve that they volley awkwardly but the ball flies 40 feet high in the air and lands on the back corner lines. If I lose a couple points in one game (and maybe therefore the game itself) like this I get really thrown off. I either start over-hitting or just generally get a negative outlook. Any suggestions?

I have the same problem and probably not qualified to answer the question. I'm trying to deal with it and found this video very helpful.
The main point is to have a routine and get back to it to start the next point.

 

[fuzz nation]

It actually annoys me when people say sorry after the ball hits the net and trickles over to my side.

Why are you saying sorry, you're not sorry. If I clip the net and it trickles over, i'm not sorry, i'm glad. There's nothing to apologise for, it's part of the game.

If a serve hits the line and I get an ace I don't say sorry, I didn't mean to get it that close to the line, you're so unlucky and i'm so lucky.

Any opponents are just being clueless when they decide to mope after being aced. If anything, we should appreciate losing a point when the other guys come up with really good shots. But it would be a classless d-bag maneuver to fist pump and yell a big ol' C'MON!! when you win a point off one of those lucky net cord breaks, right?

It's not an apology so much as an acknowledgement of your opponent's misfortune - more or less consistent with the mutual respect and cooperation needed to conduct any decent match. I actually coach the high school teams I work with to maybe hold up a racquet when they benefit from that tough break, but not to feel like they need to say "sorry". I agree - we're not sorry when that happens in our favor.

 

[fuzz nation]

I can get really frustrated to the point where it hurts my game when I'm being aggressive and my opponent gets lucky on defense. For example they stab it off the frame and it trickles over the net, or I hit a hard body serve that they volley awkwardly but the ball flies 40 feet high in the air and lands on the back corner lines. If I lose a couple points in one game (and maybe therefore the game itself) like this I get really thrown off. I either start over-hitting or just generally get a negative outlook. Any suggestions?

This is an example of a distraction that we might manufacture for ourselves between the ears. Focusing over the course of an entire match can be extremely hard work and we can be susceptible to mentally checking out when we're not up to the challenge. Instead of putting everything we can muster toward a match and running the risk of still losing - a painful experience for most - we might invent a mental "ripcord" like this one that makes us go all high drama and lose in the face of some fictional injustice that we make up on the spot. This is less embarrassing than having our best effort turn out to be not good enough.

The best way to deal with this self-derailment is to think things over while you're away from the courts. Get real about your expectations and also about why you're out there - Vic Braden always recommended writing them down so that we can better examine them. If you play to get all disgusted with the cosmic conspiracy, then keep letting stuff like this steer your head into the toxic twilight zone. But if you play to achieve a higher level, then understand that this mindset will do nothing for your cause.

Think this stuff through away from the courts and also be ready to put all your effort into your competition and still lose. The result - winning or losing - is somewhat irrelevant. If you can better recognize those distractions trying to creep in, you can more effectively ignore them because you've come to the understanding that they can't help you. At least if you can stay sharp and positive, you can give yourself a chance to play at a higher level for a longer stretch. In some cases that will make the difference and earn you a win.

 

[Morch Us]

Well, what if I tell you that it is not as you think it is. 90% of the time, I know that someone thinks like that ignores the fact that the opponent actually got lucky because he played better. Yes, ofcourse, if you middle every ball and your opponent frame every ball and lands the opposite short corner, it would be obvious to a spectator. A players analysis on opponents "luck" or skill level like that, would be totally false, if you doubt, just ask a neutral spectator when you feel like that next time.

Now to the solution, the moment you accept the fact that, he got a frame on your apparent "aggressive" shot is because he was just a better player than you, things will get better.

There could be tons of reasons why your shot was bad or why the opponent was playing better. Maybe because you put it at his reach without considering your bad positioning, or you were a bad mover, or you were giving extra pace than necessary to set up the point (or "control" the point). Also the opponent was probably able to reach the ball because of good prediction, or movement. Framing it does not make all other efforts from the opponent a "NIL" factor.

You are thinking your shot was better just because of sheer pace of your shot ... or whatever you meant by "aggressive" shot. A good defense is still a good defense. The earlier you understand this difference, you will start appreciating the opponents effort (or overplaying you) on framing defense winner, and from there you will learn to win those points (or win 7 out of the next 10 points).

The more you blame it on the opponents luck (or your bad luck), you got your excuse, and you will play the same or worse.

I'm being aggressive and my opponent gets lucky on defense

 

[Morch Us]

A typical example comes to my mind is a 100% serve and volley player. Yes of course during the course of a set he will hit tons of frames or touch/reaction shots, looking like "lucky winners" against an aggressive flat paced opponent. But the fact of the matter is he was taking his "calculated" chances, and luck favors the better player.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

If someone does it 1 out of 10 times, that's luck. If they do it 6 out of 10, maybe it's not luck.

 

[FiReFTW]

Are you serious? You sound like one of those people who always sees when someone gets a lucky shot, but when you do it you probably think what a good point you did.

Luck is a part of the game, but mostly its skill and ability, nobody gets lucky so many times that luck trumps skill.
Luck just happens here and there, but it happens to both so your not special and your not particularly unlucky.

When playing points with my coach last week friday she got like 3 or 4 extremely lucky points, net cord that then drops just over the net etc... i just laughed at it amd we both laughed at it, teased her a bit how lucky she is thats it.

Fast forward to this week monday, and it was completely opposite, I hit a few extremely lucky net cords and a near shank that somehow dropped just on the line on both wide line and deep line etc

Luck sometimes happen but its not that often to really extremely affect the result, and it happens to all, on average it will even out in time.

So its nothing to cry about or feel like ur special when it comes to it, ur not, u just see ur unluck extremely well and dont notice ur luck.

 

[a12345]

You're annoyed because you think everyone thinks like you -- superficial or dishonest.

While you're glad that you earn a point that way, other (decent) people want to show that they do not intend or want to win by luck. It's a nice gesture by good sportsmanship people -- you know, those who want to win by their merits (ie hitting winners, forced, unforced errors, that kind of things).

Whats dishonest about clipping the net?

It happens, we know it happens, it not like you're pretending you're trying to clip the net so its pointless saying sorry for pointing out the obvious. Now that is being superficial.

When you say "Other (decent) people want to show that they do not intend or want to win by luck" you're simply trying to project how virtuous you are, which itself is even more irritating.

Saying sorry almost makes it worse and rubs salt into the wounds because we all know it wasn't on purpose, but then you're rubbing it in with the virtue. Because inside we know youre happy to win the point really. So in effect you're being superficial.

Its better when someone says ha tough luck, because at least then you can have a laugh about it.

 

[Mongolmike]

If someone hits a net cord winner vs me, I often ask them in a very incredulous voice "Are you taking that point? Seriously? Oh man...", and we laugh about it.

If I hit a ridiculously lucky shot, net cord dribbler or obvious frame shot, I throw my hands up in the air and shout, "WINNER! YES!"

Even if it is league or tournaments, come on... it really doesn't matter. It's amateur tennis. It means nothing. Go with the flow.
Someone hits a lucky shot, laugh with them. Life is too short to dwell on "is a lucky shot real tennis?"

 

[BulldogLouisiana]

Saying sorry almost makes it worse and rubs salt into the wounds because we all know it wasn't on purpose, but then you're rubbing it in with the virtue. Because inside we know youre happy to win the point really. So in effect you're being superficial.

Good gracious, I hate that you are having decency shoved down your throat. This isn't a complex issue to understand. People want to win, but they'd prefer to win by hitting a great shot. It's possible to have more than one emotion at a time for most adults.

 

[Deleted member 23235]

I can get really frustrated to the point where it hurts my game when I'm being aggressive and my opponent gets lucky on defense. For example they stab it off the frame and it trickles over the net, or I hit a hard body serve that they volley awkwardly but the ball flies 40 feet high in the air and lands on the back corner lines. If I lose a couple points in one game (and maybe therefore the game itself) like this I get really thrown off. I either start over-hitting or just generally get a negative outlook. Any suggestions?

lol, for the record... every time you hit a line,... it was an accident. do you never hit lines?

 

[Dartagnan64]

Whats dishonest about clipping the net?

It happens, we know it happens, it not like you're pretending you're trying to clip the net so its pointless saying sorry for pointing out the obvious. Now that is being superficial.

When you say "Other (decent) people want to show that they do not intend or want to win by luck" you're simply trying to project how virtuous you are, which itself is even more irritating.

Saying sorry almost makes it worse and rubs salt into the wounds because we all know it wasn't on purpose, but then you're rubbing it in with the virtue. Because inside we know youre happy to win the point really. So in effect you're being superficial.

Its better when someone says ha tough luck, because at least then you can have a laugh about it.

I think you are misinterpreting what people are apologizing for. It's not that they are sorry to have won the point. They are sorry the opponent lost a point on their luck. That isn't disingenuous. It's empathy. We all know what it's like when it happens to us, so we are affirming that "we know how it feels."

I certainly intend to win several lucky points in a match that I won't feel sorry that I won. I will empathisize with my opponent however since it was a crappy break for them.

If I draw a straight flush on the River, I'm also going to lead with "Sorry, guys." as I scoop up my winnings.

 

[Raul_SJ]

Saying sorry almost makes it worse and rubs salt into the wounds because we all know it wasn't on purpose, but then you're rubbing it in with the virtue. Because inside we know youre happy to win the point really. So in effect you're being superficial.

Its better when someone says ha tough luck, because at least then you can have a laugh about it.

Saying "Sorry" is just another way of saying, "Sorry for your tough luck". They are not apologizing to you.

 

[user92626]

I think you are misinterpreting what people are apologizing for. It's not that they are sorry to have won the point. They are sorry the opponent lost a point on their luck. That isn't disingenuous. It's empathy. We all know what it's like when it happens to us, so we are affirming that "we know how it feels."
.

Bingo.

They are showing empathy because smart, sensitive people know how frustrating it is to lose a point like that.

When you say "Other (decent) people want to show that they do not intend or want to win by luck" you're simply trying to project how virtuous you are, which itself is even more irritating.

Saying sorry almost makes it worse and rubs salt into the wounds because we all know it wasn't on purpose, but then you're rubbing it in with the virtue. Because inside we know youre happy to win the point really. So in effect you're being superficial.

.

Let's be honest. It's sad that you haven't come across decent, good sportsmanship players that prefer to win by their merits. You assume everyone is happy and enjoy to simply win like you. Especially this is all recreational.

Let's extend the scenario of your win/happy idea. Are you happy to win a local tournament that you paid good money for if the opponent rolls his ankle after 2 games and retires? Hey you still get a win. How about in a lesser extent, your opponent just got fired from his job and terribly distracted and couldn't play well at all?? Score is 6-0, 6-1 in your favor after 70 minutes.

I know I definitely won't like it one bit.

 

[a12345]

Bingo.

They are showing empathy because smart, sensitive people know how frustrating it is to lose a point like that.




Let's be honest. It's sad that you haven't come across decent, good sportsmanship players that prefer to win by their merits. You assume everyone is happy and enjoy to simply win like you. Especially this is all recreational.

Let's extend the scenario of your win/happy idea. Are you happy to win a local tournament that you paid good money for if the opponent rolls his ankle after 2 games and retires? Hey you still get a win. How about in a lesser extent, your opponent just got fired from his job and terribly distracted and couldn't play well at all?? Score is 6-0, 6-1 in your favor after 70 minutes.

I know I definitely won't like it one bit.

There are ways to acknowledge a bit of fortune. Saying sorry is not it. Its disingenuous. You're not sorry at all. The operative is the word sorry not the acknowledgement.

Saying sorry is more likely to rub salt into the wound of your opponent.

You know the scenario as we all do, its a long hard point, maybe at a crucial time, it clips the net, you win the point, you're kind of smirking and glad inside but you say sorry when you don't mean it

You know it, you're opponent knows it, everyone watching knows it.

You wouldn't say sorry if the ball catches the line. That's good fortune too. When we see hawkeye and a ball catch the corner by 1mm we all laugh and smile we dont say sorry.

In fact next time you serve an ace that barely catches the line, say sorry as a measure of "sportsmanship". Are you actually sorry? Do you think you're opponent thinks you mean it? If people started saying sorry in these instances as well as a show of sportsmanship it would be irritating.

BTW if smart, sensitive, decent, people (Which I assume youre trying to refer to yourself. Thats nice.) like to win on their merits, do you offer to replay the point, or lets say in fairness, especially if you have formal rules, give them the next point for free to equalise things back again? Or do you just take the point. Talk can be cheap about self virtue.

 

[a12345]

Let me put it to you another way.

Imagine you didn't like your opponent, you have a bitter rivalry, and during a crucial point you clip the net, it bobbles over and you win the point.

Saying "sorry" would be the perfect way to wind them up.

 

[S&V-not_dead_yet]

Let me put it to you another way.

Imagine you didn't like your opponent, you have a bitter rivalry, and during a crucial point you clip the net, it bobbles over and you win the point.

Saying "sorry" would be the perfect way to wind them up.

In that case, no matter what I do, it's going to wind him up. The simplest thing to do is just play the game the way you'd normally play it.

 

[a12345]

In that case, no matter what I do, it's going to wind him up. The simplest thing to do is just play the game the way you'd normally play it.

If you were to be kind you'd just say nothing and move onto the next point.

 

[movdqa]

Luck is part of life. It certainly applies in trading stocks. You win some and you lose some. You just need to win more than you lose.

 

[mucat]

I can get really frustrated to the point where it hurts my game when I'm being aggressive and my opponent gets lucky on defense. For example they stab it off the frame and it trickles over the net,

So you didn't hit it good enough and your opponent got the racket on it.

or I hit a hard body serve that they volley awkwardly but the ball flies 40 feet high in the air and lands on the back corner lines.

So your opponent got his racket on a body serve and neutralized it with a high slow ball, what's so special?

If I lose a couple points in one game (and maybe therefore the game itself) like this I get really thrown off. I either start over-hitting or just generally get a negative outlook. Any suggestions?

IMO, you just need to be more patient. Sometimes your opponent reset the point and you have to reconstruct the point again. Sometimes you just need a few more shots (than expected) to end the point.

 

[HBK4life]

I just tell myself that is the way they will have to beat me and if that happens a lot then that's the way it is.

 

[Rattler]

Just clap your hands and and say great unintentional mis-hit winner...laugh it off and move on. Luck is fleeting.

 

[tennis4me]

I sometimes play against a guy who constantly hit impossible winner frame shots. "Luckily" also, he's very inconsistent in general. His luck is just that, a 'luck', and short-lived.

 

[zaph]

You're not talking about luck, not if your opponent can consistently do it. I am a defensive player by nature and I will often block, throw up a lob or half volley something on the stretch and force my opponent to hit one more ball. I have sometimes had complaints about lucky shots or even the odd sarcastic comment about this.

Thing is, if I get 5, 10, 15 of these defensive shots in; is it really luck?

 

[Morch Us]

I am not really sure why is it so hard for some folks to understand this. Someone already explained clearly about the "empathy". Also many actually really mean it when they sorry. It is not sorry about their fortune. Folks already explained, it is about what happend to the other side. If you have hard time understanding empathy, maybe you can think of it as being sorry to the opponent for him being "unfortunate" (it is NOT the same thing as you being fortunate, even though in some case you getting fortunate is also true as well).

Also in the "line kisser" winner ground stroke or ace, yes you got lucky. But the opponent was not being unlucky there. In the netcord, the opponent most probably had a chance for a good shot or at least a neutral shot if it did not hit the net (and was just landing directly on court). In the "line kisser" case, your opponent had no chance anyway.

So assuming playerA and playerB are social humans....
playerA fortunate + playerB neutral (not fortunate, not unfortunate) -> A feel happy
playerA neutral + playerB unfortunate -> A feel sorry for B
playerA fortunate + playerB unfortunate -> A first feel sorry for opponent, and many times that will override the happiness A should have felt especially if B is also his friend.

Anyway humans used to think like humans, and was a social animal, and used to have good emotions towards others. It todays "it is all about me" world it is probably hard for some folks to understand the difference.

And yes, if you don't actually feel sorry, no need to say "sorry". But most social humans do feel like sharing friends sadness and joy.

You wouldn't say sorry if the ball catches the line. That's good fortune too. When we see hawkeye and a ball catch the corner by 1mm we all laugh and smile we dont say sorry.

In fact next time you serve an ace that barely catches the line, say sorry as a measure of "sportsmanship". Are you actually sorry? Do you think you're opponent thinks you mean it? If people started saying sorry in these instances as well as a show of sportsmanship it would be irritating.

 

[Morch Us]

Hmm... if you don't like your opponent, why don't you just try smash every ball at his groin (and obviously forget about the points). But hei, please check with your lawyer before you do that though.

Let me put it to you another way.

Imagine you didn't like your opponent, you have a bitter rivalry, and during a crucial point you clip the net, it bobbles over and you win the point.

Saying "sorry" would be the perfect way to wind them up.

 

[StringSnapper]

I think it helps to have personal goals and a "self rule", ie. If you hit it in the back 1/4th of the court, where you wanted to, and your opponent still gets it back for a winner
.. well, congrats to them. Thats too good. But if theyre.playing you and in the same league and youve done all you could reasonably ask of yourself, then its unlikely this will repeat and they can expect to do this over and over more than 50% of the time to win the match. No. You will most likely win.

It helps to detach and look at it with logic.
I had the same experience today. My opponent was playing great and i coildnt win. I kept swinging harder and harder and just framed every ball at one point. In the next set i calmed down, analysed the situation, and it occured to me that i was shanking because my backswing was too big (common problem) so i focused on a smaller backswing, aiming, and hitting on the rise. My personal best stratergy. Won the next set 6-2.

 

[user92626]

There are ways to acknowledge a bit of fortune. Saying sorry is not it. Its disingenuous. You're not sorry at all. The operative is the word sorry not the acknowledgement.

Saying sorry is more likely to rub salt into the wound of your opponent.

You know the scenario as we all do, its a long hard point, maybe at a crucial time, it clips the net, you win the point, you're kind of smirking and glad inside but you say sorry when you don't mean it

You know it, you're opponent knows it, everyone watching knows it.

You wouldn't say sorry if the ball catches the line. That's good fortune too. When we see hawkeye and a ball catch the corner by 1mm we all laugh and smile we dont say sorry.

In fact next time you serve an ace that barely catches the line, say sorry as a measure of "sportsmanship". Are you actually sorry? Do you think you're opponent thinks you mean it? If people started saying sorry in these instances as well as a show of sportsmanship it would be irritating.

BTW if smart, sensitive, decent, people (Which I assume youre trying to refer to yourself. Thats nice.) like to win on their merits, do you offer to replay the point, or lets say in fairness, especially if you have formal rules, give them the next point for free to equalise things back again? Or do you just take the point. Talk can be cheap about self virtue.

You didn't answer my question whether you would feel happy with a win if the opponent rolled his ankle after 2 games and retired. And this is all recreational, small tournament. Hey you got a win, right?

Answer that then we'll know what personality you really are.

 

[GN-001]

There's a guy at my club that often calls other players shots lucky. According to him, there are no good shots, you were only lucky. DONT be that guy. Sure, sometimes players get lucky but if they keep hitting "lucky" shots time and time again, that's not luck, that's skill. You just got to accept it.

 

[a12345]

You didn't answer my question whether you would feel happy with a win if the opponent rolled his ankle after 2 games and retired. And this is all recreational, small tournament. Hey you got a win, right?

Answer that then we'll know what personality you really are.

No is the answer.

 

[a12345]

You didn't answer my question whether you would feel happy with a win if the opponent rolled his ankle after 2 games and retired. And this is all recreational, small tournament. Hey you got a win, right?

Answer that then we'll know what personality you really are.

And let me ask you this in return.

Do you say sorry because you want to show your opponent and everyone else what a sportsmanlike person you are and make sure people know it?
Or do you say sorry because you think it makes your opponent feel better?

If its the latter, id argue:

a) it doesn't work
b) it will actually annoy them even more

And if its the former then who's benefit is it really for?

As ive said from the beginning if you actually wanted to make your opponent feel better, saying something like ha tough luck , and trying to have a laugh about it is better than saying sorry as it satisfys the latter.

So now then, which "personality" as you put it, is better. Which one is self serving and which one is actually more empathetic?

 

[user92626]

No is the answer.

There you go. To a lesser extent winning a point by luck feels similar.

And let me ask you this in return.

Do you say sorry because you want to show your opponent and everyone else what a sportsmanlike person you are and make sure people know it?
Or do you say sorry because you think it makes your opponent feel better?

If its the latter, id argue:

a) it doesn't work
b) it will actually annoy them even more

It may not work *for you* but why are you assuming everyone else is like you?


A couple weeks ago I actually had a ball trickled over the net against me on *the match point*. I was coming back nicely from a big hole and while my opponent, a much lower level player, was trying everything to simply score a random point, literally, (because I gave him a ton of points/games in advance), he swung wildly and scored that point. He was happy with the win but he also acknowledged that it was pure luck, and not due his skill, that day. That actually made me feel better with my loss.

 

[Morch Us]

None of the below is the answer to your questions (even though it may have some of those side effects). It is not a "show". The "sorry" is a feeling you personally feel, and saying it is just expressing it, and even though it is hard for you to believe, that is what happens to a lot of humans in the court.

But I do agree with you that if it is a "show" just like a customer rep saying "sorry" from a pre-defined script it may cause the reverse effect on the opponent.

Do you say sorry because you want to show your opponent and everyone else what a sportsmanlike person you are and make sure people know it?
Or do you say sorry because you think it makes your opponent feel better?

 

[a12345]

There you go. To a lesser extent winning a point by luck feels similar.

It may not work *for you* but why are you assuming everyone else is like you?

A couple weeks ago I actually had a ball trickled over the net against me on *the match point*. I was coming back nicely from a big hole and while my opponent, a much lower level player, was trying everything to simply score a random point, literally, (because I gave him a ton of points/games in advance), he swung wildly and scored that point. He was happy with the win but he also acknowledged that it was pure luck, and not due his skill, that day. That actually made me feel better with my loss.

I said its annoying. Why are you "assuming" that it isn't?

My point was its part of the game, **** happens, move on, get on with it. Lets not apologise or express sorrow or have to empathise every time the ball clips the net, which happens all the time. Its a game of tennis, we get it, it clips the net by accident.

 

[a12345]

None of the below is the answer to your questions (even though it may have some of those side effects). It is not a "show". The "sorry" is a feeling you personally feel, and saying it is just expressing it, and even though it is hard for you to believe, that is what happens to a lot of humans in the court.

But I do agree with you that if it is a "show" just like a customer rep saying "sorry" from a per-defined script it may cause the reverse effect on the opponent.

Generally it is for show and insincere. If the ball clips the net 5-6 times, do we need to empathise with each other 5-6 times during a game, or are you just going through the motions.

By and large people will do it because that's what they think they're supposed to do, and be seen to do, when really they're not bothered they just want to move onto the next point.

 

[Morch Us]

I strongly disagree ( at least in my circles). But again we are moving towards a more "self-centric" world, and I do understand that it maybe different in some crowds. Eventually it wont be a surprise if a human feel emotions only for things happening to himself, and whatever happens to his friend is "don't care" emotionally for him, and just a show. But we are not there yet.

Generally it is for show

 

[a12345]

I strongly disagree ( at least in my circles). But again we are moving towards a more "self-centric" world, and I do understand that it maybe different in some crowds. Eventually it wont be a surprise if a human feel emotions only for things happening to himself, and whatever happens to his friend is "don't care" emotionally for him, and just a show. But we are not there yet.

A ball has clipped the net. You dont need be melodramatic and imply saying sorry when it clips the net is about caring for your fellow man.

We clip the net so often in a tennis match that it can become nothing but insincere if you keep saying it. And if you keep saying its just annoying.