Drama at my local club

Yea bro, I understand you but just look at it this way. Don't put yourself in the position where you will be playing with 3.5's if you know you are competitive.

Think of it this way. If you're 4.5 and the best player on the court most of the time, then it's got to be social for you....completely social. Most of us have never gotten a dime for winning a tournament much less a social match. That's a time to me to make some new friends and contacts. I have looked at it that way from day one. My wife had to be brought to this mindset of thinking and now she understands as I do. Everything isn't about winning and if you are winning all the time...well...you probably aren't playing at your level.

If I were you, I'd not attend those types of events if you will be pi$$ed everytime you lose. I wouldn't hit you a ball and I'm sure most here wouldn't unless the goal is to see what you really bring...and in that case...they will come at you and talk ***** to you while doing it...because they have nothing to lose. So you see...if you look at it wrong...it's lose lose for you. The only way you will win by attending something like this is to be totally social with it. That way you don't get pi$$ed when your net guy stands in no man's land while you are serving.lol


jdubbs said:
I don't intend to, but yeah, it's hard for me to ever lose. But I don't care if I lose in social doubles the way I do if I play a 4.5 in singles, if that makes sense.

All in all, I can take criticism, so it sounds like about 60% of you guys say I was in the wrong. I can accept that. I've offered advice before with no problems but that doesn't mean everyone will take it the same way.
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anubis said:
I sometimes play "social doubles". I just don't take it seriously. I don't care if we lose, I don't care if my partner is holding the racquet by the strings. I just work on my strokes, my technique, and try some new things. I practice breathing deeply and swinging unabated.

jdubbs, just next time, even though you *know* that you're right, that you've got better strategy and you know how to win, there's a chance that your partner doesn't care about any of that.
Click to expand...

That's the way I play round robins too. You have no control over your partner and you are there basically to socialize and have fun as a group. As hard as it is sometimes, you have to swallow your pride and just except that some people aren't as competitive. I have a hard time with it some days as everyone expects you to never miss a shot or make a mistake. I get the 'But you are a 5.0..' a lot, but I just smile and suck it up.

I just go into these things and just try to smile and have a good time. You have to leave your ego at the door. Again, its a lot easier to say than do.

If this had of been a 'real match', I would have talked to him quietly so that I wouldn't embarrass him which sounds like what happened to me. Sometime players that don't play doubles a lot don't get the communication aspect of it right away. They think of it as being ordered around or talked down to and in reality its just good doubles communication. It basically comes down to a lack of dubs experience from your partner and his youth.
 
jdubbs said:
I don't intend to, but yeah, it's hard for me to ever lose. But I don't care if I lose in social doubles the way I do if I play a 4.5 in singles, if that makes sense.

All in all, I can take criticism, so it sounds like about 60% of you guys say I was in the wrong. I can accept that. I've offered advice before with no problems but that doesn't mean everyone will take it the same way.
Click to expand...

I think the problem is that you are not able to recognize social doubles for what it is. The fact that you cared that your partner chose to serve first and you lost the first couple of games shows that.

Social doubles isn't about winning or losing, just like the warm-up for a match isn't about winning or losing. Giving advice to a random partner is like giving parenting advice to complete strangers. Yes, some will accept it, but there's a good chance that it could get ugly with those who don't. So the best strategy is to say nothing unless someone asks.
 
jdubbs said:
I don't intend to, but yeah, it's hard for me to ever lose. But I don't care if I lose in social doubles the way I do if I play a 4.5 in singles, if that makes sense.

All in all, I can take criticism, so it sounds like about 60% of you guys say I was in the wrong. I can accept that. I've offered advice before with no problems but that doesn't mean everyone will take it the same way.
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As I've said, the only issue I see in this whole scenario is you not taking more of a high road with your response to his aggressive approach. The way I see it. He invited your "coaching" when he said something about not playing doubles. If I'm on the court with someone who's not a doubles player, I'm going to offer up a little advice as well.
 
Just accidentally hit that partner with that "huge serve". Maybe then he'll listen or he won't get up and you can play tennis
 
Social doubles if your the better player is all about trick shots and trying stuff out. Just chill and hit 100mph winners
 
zdw33 said:
Just accidentally hit that partner with that "huge serve". Maybe then he'll listen or he won't get up and you can play tennis
Click to expand...

Haha, I love this idea!

Yeah, I hear you guys, it's just hard to turn off my competitive nature sometimes.
As far as my skills, it's not that I'm saying I'm great, it's just all the OTHER people telling me how great I am.

(I kid, I kid!)
 
A 4.5 amidst a pack of 3.5's is god!
A 4.5 amidst a pack of 5.5's has trouble getting a game.
 
tennis tom said:
The guys an idiot, if he doesn't play doubles why does he sign-up for a doubles mixer? If he wants to pick-up chicks, why doesn't he go to the club bar or lie around the pool?
Click to expand...

Remember he replied to what he felt was rude interference. You have to expect that if you come to a social and start pushing people around. It does not even sit well with pro doubles players - the Brians say that once they came to blows after a lost match about some fingerpointing.
 
Suresh, let me reiterate since you didn't get it the first time:

"The guys an idiot, if he doesn't play doubles why does he sign-up for a doubles mixer?"

It's tennis, if you keep score it's competitive even if it's passive/aggressive pussified social tennis. They are playing a game, even if it's for who's got the most powerful newest Prius. The OP was playing tennis, who knows what his partner was playing for, maybe for the biggest asshoile at the club.

We're not mind-readers like Nostradamus is.
 
tennis tom said:
Suresh, let me reiterate since you didn't get it the first time:

"The guys an idiot, if he doesn't play doubles why does he sign-up for a doubles mixer?"

It's tennis, if you keep score it's competitive even if it's passive/aggressive pussified social tennis. They are playing a game, even if it's for who's got the most powerful newest Prius. The OP was playing tennis, who knows what his partner was playing for, maybe for the biggest asshoile at the club.

We're not mind-readers like Nostradamus is.
Click to expand...

He is there to hit tennis balls. Not play a game that you love. Not a game where you go out there and die for and play every game like it's your last.
 
tennis tom said:
Suresh, let me reiterate since you didn't get it the first time:

"The guys an idiot, if he doesn't play doubles why does he sign-up for a doubles mixer?"

It's tennis, if you keep score it's competitive even if it's passive/aggressive pussified social tennis. They are playing a game, even if it's for who's got the most powerful newest Prius. The OP was playing tennis, who knows what his partner was playing for, maybe for the biggest asshoile at the club.

We're not mind-readers like Nostradamus is.
Click to expand...

But I am. What he meant was: I don't usually play doubles, especially with guys like you, but I could not get a singles hitting session going today, so I decided I might as well show up for this social to get some tennis in. None of this is your business. I paid my $2 just like you did. Just keep your mouth shut and play.
 
sureshs said:
But I am. What he meant was: I don't usually play doubles, especially with guys like you, but I could not get a singles hitting session going today, so I decided I might as well show up for this social to get some tennis in. None of this is your business. I paid my $2 just like you did. Just keep your mouth shut and play.
Click to expand...

Should have pop'd him right between the ears on your next serve. Just sayin....


Not really, but it would have been funny as all get out to have been watching from the stands....
 
sureshs said:
But I am. What he meant was: I don't usually play doubles, especially with guys like you, but I could not get a singles hitting session going today, so I decided I might as well show up for this social to get some tennis in. None of this is your business. I paid my $2 just like you did. Just keep your mouth shut and play.
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Had that happen with a PT. She wanted to play with the guys then planted her first serve in my left ear.
 
This is one of those times when tennis can learn from golf (I hope I don't get drummed out of here for bringing up a rival sport). Golfers have a lot of experience playing with and against people of wildly disparate skill levels, and while the actual playing experience is obviously starkly different, the attitude you develop playing competitive golf can be helpful in situations like the OP found himself in.

Ultimately, though, I think he would acknowledge that he lost sight of his objective. He started out looking for a way to prepare for upcoming competition and he ended up turning it into its own competition.
 
jdubbs said:
So Saturday I go to my local club to play their social hit and giggle doubles program

I say "it's just strategy, normal part of doubles, and by the way, I can come out you any way I feel like it" It got heated...he continued to argue with me, and he kept walking over to say it to my face. I said something along the lines of "what are you gonna do about it? You're free to leave" and he storms off the court.

Was I wrong, or was he being too sensitive? I hate drama, but I'm not the type to back down and doubles strategy is a part of the game.
Click to expand...

Why on earth did you correct some punk in a hit and giggle session? You should have quickly lost 0-6 and moved on.
 
jdubbs said:
So Saturday I go to my local club to play their social hit and giggle doubles program just to hit some serves and volleys and get ready for my Sunday match without exerting myself much. People take it serious, but it's a bit of a joke as it's usually low level.

First match, I get paired with a new guy, he's probably about a 3.5 (I'm a 4.5).
We win the toss, he just goes to the service line to serve. I don't say anything, even though I likely have a much better serve and would rather be first since I'll have more opptys to serve and win the set.
He double faults the game away and we quickly lose the next game too.

So now it's my serve. He's standing at the service line pretty far away from the net. I hit a huge serve, the opponent hits it right at his feet. Their point.

So, down 0-15, he's standing again at the service line, and I tell him to move towards the net so he has an easy shot to put away. He shakes his head and says "I don't play doubles" and I say "that's ok, I do"
We win the game easily.

We switch sides and he calls me over.
"Hey bro" he says "I don't like how you came at me. Don't disrespect me"
I say "it's just strategy, normal part of doubles, and by the way, I can come out you any way I feel like it" It got heated...he continued to argue with me, and he kept walking over to say it to my face. I said something along the lines of "what are you gonna do about it? You're free to leave" and he storms off the court.

Was I wrong, or was he being too sensitive? I hate drama, but I'm not the type to back down and doubles strategy is a part of the game.
Click to expand...

ONE question, If you hit a HUGE serve, how is it that opponents were able to hit a return right at your partner's feet even if he was standing on the service like ??? just curious
 
jdubbs said:
So Saturday I go to my local club to play their social hit and giggle doubles program just to hit some serves and volleys and get ready for my Sunday match without exerting myself much. People take it serious, but it's a bit of a joke as it's usually low level.

First match, I get paired with a new guy, he's probably about a 3.5 (I'm a 4.5).
We win the toss, he just goes to the service line to serve. I don't say anything, even though I likely have a much better serve and would rather be first since I'll have more opptys to serve and win the set.
He double faults the game away and we quickly lose the next game too.

So now it's my serve. He's standing at the service line pretty far away from the net. I hit a huge serve, the opponent hits it right at his feet. Their point.

So, down 0-15, he's standing again at the service line, and I tell him to move towards the net so he has an easy shot to put away. He shakes his head and says "I don't play doubles" and I say "that's ok, I do"
We win the game easily.

We switch sides and he calls me over.
"Hey bro" he says "I don't like how you came at me. Don't disrespect me"
I say "it's just strategy, normal part of doubles, and by the way, I can come out you any way I feel like it" It got heated...he continued to argue with me, and he kept walking over to say it to my face. I said something along the lines of "what are you gonna do about it? You're free to leave" and he storms off the court.

Was I wrong, or was he being too sensitive? I hate drama, but I'm not the type to back down and doubles strategy is a part of the game.
Click to expand...

ONE question, If you hit a HUGE serve, how is it that opponents were able to hit a return right at your partner's feet even if he was standing on the service like ??? just curious

Not questioning your serve or anything, just curious cause sometimes I get into this situation as well when paired with weaker partner which is most of the time.....lol
 
I was a teaching pro for a long time. The first thing I realized was that not everyone wants to be helped. Only the ones who pay for it, or ask for it. Otherwise you risk offending someone. At 4.5 you're not an ATP touring pro and some people may not be interested in your opinion.
 
t135 said:
I was a teaching pro for a long time. The first thing I realized was that not everyone wants to be helped. Only the ones who pay for it, or ask for it. Otherwise you risk offending someone. At 4.5 you're not an ATP touring pro and some people may not be interested in your opinion.
Click to expand...

This is so true, Agree completely. I also had offered few times an easy obvious correctable technique and this guy got mad and acted like I had no idea what I was talking about. he was 3.5 level.
also if they are weaker player, they don't want to be pointed out by being told what to do by stronger player, it seem to bother them
 
t135 said:
I was a teaching pro for a long time. The first thing I realized was that not everyone wants to be helped. Only the ones who pay for it, or ask for it. Otherwise you risk offending someone. At 4.5 you're not an ATP touring pro and some people may not be interested in your opinion.
Click to expand...

They should put that above the entrance to every tennis club.
 
jdubbs said:
So Saturday I go to my local club to play their social hit and giggle doubles program just to hit some serves and volleys and get ready for my Sunday match without exerting myself much. People take it serious, but it's a bit of a joke as it's usually low level.

First match, I get paired with a new guy, he's probably about a 3.5 (I'm a 4.5).
We win the toss, he just goes to the service line to serve. I don't say anything, even though I likely have a much better serve and would rather be first since I'll have more opptys to serve and win the set.
He double faults the game away and we quickly lose the next game too.

So now it's my serve. He's standing at the service line pretty far away from the net. I hit a huge serve, the opponent hits it right at his feet. Their point.

So, down 0-15, he's standing again at the service line, and I tell him to move towards the net so he has an easy shot to put away. He shakes his head and says "I don't play doubles" and I say "that's ok, I do"
We win the game easily.

We switch sides and he calls me over.
"Hey bro" he says "I don't like how you came at me. Don't disrespect me"
I say "it's just strategy, normal part of doubles, and by the way, I can come out you any way I feel like it" It got heated...he continued to argue with me, and he kept walking over to say it to my face. I said something along the lines of "what are you gonna do about it? You're free to leave" and he storms off the court.

Was I wrong, or was he being too sensitive? I hate drama, but I'm not the type to back down and doubles strategy is a part of the game.
Click to expand...

First off, I imagine this exchange was a bit less heated than described, but if not then both people acted a bit overblown.

Your comeback to "Don't like how you came at me" could have simply been "Why are you playing doubles, communication and directives are part of the game?". Then again sounds like you were dealing with a D-Bag, so I take it that caused you to get aggressive back.

Me, I hate doubles. When I want to be part of a team effort I go with hoop, volleyball, or soccer. My love of tennis is the isolation of the individual sport, and going for everything, having all the pressure on me alone; so I never subject myself or ANYONE ELSE to me playing doubles.

This clown decided to play a team sport and not want to work with the team??? I woulda' told him to leave the court as soon as the moronic "I don't play doubles" statement was made!
 
Nostradamus said:
ONE question, If you hit a HUGE serve, how is it that opponents were able to hit a return right at your partner's feet even if he was standing on the service like ??? just curious

Not questioning your serve or anything, just curious cause sometimes I get into this situation as well when paired with weaker partner which is most of the time.....lol
Click to expand...

Your HUGE serves are world-famous in college tennis circles
 
tennis tom said:
A good doubles team communicates an average of 83 times per match.
Click to expand...

I see that on TV. It should be banned. It wastes time and essentially amounts to mutual on-court coaching. It is very sickening to see a doubles team lose a point, and still do the hand-touching thing for mutual support. What you these players think they are in? Some group psychotherapy session where they are training to show empathy? Which human relationship depends on hand holding every few seconds? Sometimes it after every unreturnable serve. Cannot return a serve? Express support. Cannot return the next one too? Do it again. Then whisper into each others' ears as if it is elementary school time.

No communication should be allowed in doubles. Real men don't do these things.
 
The only reason I go to social doubles is to find partners to hit with in singles. It's not the game itself, but most of the time I dislike the atmosphere of these occasions, for reasons already mentioned in this thread.
 
hawk eye said:
The only reason I go to social doubles is to find partners to hit with in singles. It's not the game itself, but most of the time I dislike the atmosphere of these occasions, for reasons already mentioned in this thread.
Click to expand...

Very good point. I have found a couple of people exactly by this method. Another advantage is that having seen you in the social event, they feel more reassured that this is not some weird guy like might happen through craigslist etc.
 
sureshs said:
Real men communicate in doubles only by grunts and farts.
Click to expand...

Haha, yes making that mandatory would clean up the doubles game quite a bit. I would add some buttpicking, at the appropriate times (When at the net. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense).
 
In social doubles the goal is not winning but hopefully everyone having a good time. If you are much better than the other players then it is partly your responsibility to use your skills to that end. That means assessing the other players comfort levels and hitting at that level, or a little above, if it seems the person would appreciate that.

That can be even more challenging than hitting huge strokes and serves but it does require saving your ego for competitive situations.
 
chatt_town said:
Think of it this way. If you're 4.5 and the best player on the court most of the time, then it's got to be social for you....completely social. Most of us have never gotten a dime for winning a tournament much less a social match. That's a time to me to make some new friends and contacts. I have looked at it that way from day one.
Click to expand...


Agreed. I play in social doubles nights at a local club and we have this exact situation. There is one player that is considerably better than everyone else. He is an outstanding doubles player (probably 4.5) and is often paired with 3.0 partners. He never offers advice other than to yell "up" if he sees a drop shot will be coming or something like that. I'm sure he looks at it as good practice to have to overcome a weak partner and find a way to win.

Some people want advice from a better player and will ask for this. Most just want to pay their money and have fun. They don't want another rec. player telling them what to do. It is best to know which you are dealing with before offering unsolicited advice.
 
sureshs said:
I see that on TV. It should be banned. It wastes time and essentially amounts to mutual on-court coaching. It is very sickening to see a doubles team lose a point, and still do the hand-touching thing for mutual support. What you these players think they are in? Some group psychotherapy session where they are training to show empathy? Which human relationship depends on hand holding every few seconds? Sometimes it after every unreturnable serve. Cannot return a serve? Express support. Cannot return the next one too? Do it again. Then whisper into each others' ears as if it is elementary school time.

No communication should be allowed in doubles. Real men don't do these things.
Click to expand...

I've found my tennis improves when I strive to emulate better players. I don't understand why you continually strive to carve out a different path.
 
can I one up you here? I had a guy throw a racket at me Saturday morning in drill. This is the club 'big hitters' drill, which is an hour of some doubles points basicaly. I'm 4.0, this other guy is a 4.0 but doesnt play much competetive tennis, (he'd rather play against hte ball machine than an opponent). So its about 45 minutes into the hour, and we are on opposing sides at the net for a few points that get fed in to the baseline players with the other player at the net... both our partners are weaker players at the baseline and we were both poaching. I hit a few good shots at his feet, one past him at the T, and one past him in the alley. He did the same to me when he could. IMO this is normal doubles strategy... hit attacking shots short-to-short... basically to the net guy. I guess he was getting frustrated, but I didnt really know it at the time.
Anyhow, with our partners back. My partner hits a very deep ground stroke, his partner lobs it up so I run over and back and hit a jumping overhead and tag the guy at the net with it.. somewhere between the upper leg and lower back as he was turning around. ( I wasnt really trying to hit him... it never even entered my head to hit him on purpose, I was just hammering an over head.. then again I wasnt really trying to avoid hitting someone) so he turns around yelling with a look to kill and takes his racket back and hucks it... I could tell he was aiming for me, then at the last minute decided against it and pulled it down into the net... it hit the tape and landed on his side. After he cursed me out I told him I wasn't aiming at him, just hitting my shot... and take it easy, its just a tennis ball. I did not apologize... normally I would but after throwing a racket at me I wasnt going to do so. He told me I had been going after him all day and the last 6 shots were at him and around his feet.. Well, DUH... they were... but it wasn't a personal attack, I was just picking on the net guy and trying to win the point.
So the rest of the hour, and even in the locker room he was giving me the evil eye. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen.
 
tennis_ocd said:
I've found my tennis improves when I strive to emulate better players. I don't understand why you continually strive to carve out a different path.
Click to expand...

Because I don't like doubles, especially the communication part. Would you like it if everyone high fived every 30 seconds at your workplace? It is a disgusting habit.
 
ACESario said:
can I one up you here? I had a guy throw a racket at me Saturday morning in drill. This is the club 'big hitters' drill, which is an hour of some doubles points basicaly. I'm 4.0, this other guy is a 4.0 but doesnt play much competetive tennis, (he'd rather play against hte ball machine than an opponent). So its about 45 minutes into the hour, and we are on opposing sides at the net for a few points that get fed in to the baseline players with the other player at the net... both our partners are weaker players at the baseline and we were both poaching. I hit a few good shots at his feet, one past him at the T, and one past him in the alley. He did the same to me when he could. IMO this is normal doubles strategy... hit attacking shots short-to-short... basically to the net guy. I guess he was getting frustrated, but I didnt really know it at the time.
Anyhow, with our partners back. My partner hits a very deep ground stroke, his partner lobs it up so I run over and back and hit a jumping overhead and tag the guy at the net with it.. somewhere between the upper leg and lower back as he was turning around. ( I wasnt really trying to hit him... it never even entered my head to hit him on purpose, I was just hammering an over head.. then again I wasnt really trying to avoid hitting someone) so he turns around yelling with a look to kill and takes his racket back and hucks it... I could tell he was aiming for me, then at the last minute decided against it and pulled it down into the net... it hit the tape and landed on his side. After he cursed me out I told him I wasn't aiming at him, just hitting my shot... and take it easy, its just a tennis ball. I did not apologize... normally I would but after throwing a racket at me I wasnt going to do so. He told me I had been going after him all day and the last 6 shots were at him and around his feet.. Well, DUH... they were... but it wasn't a personal attack, I was just picking on the net guy and trying to win the point.
So the rest of the hour, and even in the locker room he was giving me the evil eye. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen.
Click to expand...
And there you go.... You were entirely in the right. Was it worth it?
 
sureshs said:
Because I don't like doubles, especially the communication part. Would you like it if everyone high fived every 30 seconds at your workplace? It is a disgusting habit.
Click to expand...

If you don't like doubles why do you keep replying to this thread--bored at work? You're resembling a troll more and more these days. That was the original problem for the OP, his doubles partner didn't like doubles either, probably just attended the mx'er hoping to get laid. Actually high-fiveing at work would be a good thing in most work places where the atmosphere is deadly, deadly, with **** poor morale, do to having a job that is so scarce these days, but few seem to appreciate.
 
Your partner sounds too sensitive. But a "Look, I'm just trying to help - I'm sorry if I sounded bossy" from you would have helped the situation, too.

I personally dislike bossy know-it-alls as much as anyone, especially if they aren't as smart and knowledgeable as they think, but I hate looking like I'm too dumb or pathetic to learn and get better even more, so I'll take any halfway reasonable advice or coaching I can get. Most of the people in my league have a lot more doubles experience than me, so not infrequently, I'll tell a more experienced partner "Don't hesitate to yell loudly at me if I'm out of position and you need me to move to some other part of the court to cover. I can use all the help I can get about court coverage and strategy."
 
tennis_ocd said:
Go watch a women's volleyball match.
Click to expand...

Whoever first thought it was clever or a good idea for a women's volleyball team to hug each other no matter what happens in the point, even when a serve goes in the net, should be horsewhipped. For the serving team who just hit a bad serve, accidents happen, move on without having to reassure each other of your commitment to team spirit. For the receiving team, celebrating an opponent's unforced error is bad sportspersonship. The touchy-feely aspect of that game over the past decade has become every bit as annoying as the shrieking and grunting in tennis.
 
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