Get over the fear of losing!!

ChaelAZ

ChaelAZ

G.O.A.T.
I mean, a point of contention though. Plenty of players who have won matches have said they were afriad to lose.
 
LuckyR

LuckyR

Legend
S&V-not_dead_yet

S&V-not_dead_yet

Talk Tennis Guru
Maybe a more nuanced version, like "The more you're afraid to lose, the more difficult it will be to excel."

The problem is that Jones' saying fits on a t-shirt or motivational poster better than mine.
 
socallefty

socallefty

G.O.A.T.
People who win a lot are typically the times that absolutely hate/detest the feeling after losing - they hate losing even more than the thrill they get from winning. It usually motivates them to put in the work to be well-prepared and then gives them the discipline to control their thoughts/emotions during a match/game.

Even in rec tennis, you typically know who are the people at the club that will stay intense/focused throughout a match because they hate to lose. Those are the doubles partners you want if you hate to lose.

People who like competition and like having a scoreboard usually have the courage to be the ‘Man in the arena’ which comes with a chance of either winning or losing. The players who fear losing are the ones who don’t want to play matches in social tennis and just want to rally all the time or they will play doubles where they can blame their partner for losses, but never want to play singles where you are responsible for your losses.
 
S&V-not_dead_yet

S&V-not_dead_yet

Talk Tennis Guru
socallefty said:
People who win a lot are typically the times that absolutely hate/detest the feeling after losing - they hate losing even more than the thrill they get from winning. It usually motivates them to put in the work to be well-prepared and then gives them the discipline to control their thoughts/emotions during a match/game.

Even in rec tennis, you typically know who are the people at the club that will stay intense/focused throughout a match because they hate to lose. Those are the doubles partners you want if you hate to lose.

People who like competition and like having a scoreboard usually have the courage to be the ‘Man in the arena’ which comes with a chance of either winning or losing. The players who fear losing are the ones who don’t want to play matches in social tennis and just want to rally all the time or they will play doubles where they can blame their partner for losses, but never want to play singles where you are responsible for your losses.
Click to expand...

But are you saying that the way to get over the fear of losing is to hate losing? Because I can see someone who hates to lose who still fears losing. [I don't know because I don't hate to lose although I'm still a fierce competitor.]
 
B

Bagumbawalla

Talk Tennis Guru
When I first started playing, I was tense about returning serve, I would rehearse
(in my mind) all the possible things that could go wrong and promptly
hit the ball into the net. Then one day I was served a very fast, ball. It was
just a bit wide. No tension returning an out ball- I returned it perfectly.
After that, I stopped worrying too much.
 
socallefty

socallefty

G.O.A.T.
S&V-not_dead_yet said:
But are you saying that the way to get over the fear of losing is to hate losing? Because I can see someone who hates to lose who still fears losing. [I don't know because I don't hate to lose although I'm still a fierce competitor.]
Click to expand...
No, that is not what I said. I just went off on a tangent about how hating to lose is part of what differentiates champions or people who win a lot from those who don’t.

For me, fear of losing is unrelated and it differentiates those who are willing to compete often with a scorecard versus those who prefer other activities with no scoreboard or winners/losers. Everyone can get a bit afraid of losing sometimes which is part of normal pre-sport nervous energy, but those who love to compete get over it easily/quickly because the need to compete and put themselves on the line is greater.
 
socallefty

socallefty

G.O.A.T.
Bagumbawalla said:
When I first started playing, I was tense about returning serve, I would rehearse
(in my mind) all the possible things that could go wrong and promptly
hit the ball into the net. Then one day I was served a very fast, ball. It was
just a bit wide. No tension returning an out ball- I returned it perfectly.
After that, I stopped worrying too much.
Click to expand...
I make an effort to relax my shoulders to release tension before I return or serve. Sometimes I take some calm, relaxed breaths also and use some mental images. Seems to help.
 
S&V-not_dead_yet

S&V-not_dead_yet

Talk Tennis Guru
socallefty said:
No, that is not what I said. I just went off on a tangent about how hating to lose is part of what differentiates champions or people who win a lot from those who don’t.

For me, fear of losing is unrelated and it differentiates those who are willing to compete often with a scorecard versus those who prefer other activities with no scoreboard or winners/losers. Everyone can get a bit afraid of losing sometimes which is part of normal pre-sport nervous energy, but those who love to compete get over it easily/quickly because the need to compete and put themselves on the line is greater.
Click to expand...

Got it. Just wanted to make sure your tangent wasn't your main point.
 
M

mcs1970

Hall of Fame
socallefty said:
No, that is not what I said. I just went off on a tangent about how hating to lose is part of what differentiates champions or people who win a lot from those who don’t.

For me, fear of losing is unrelated and it differentiates those who are willing to compete often with a scorecard versus those who prefer other activities with no scoreboard or winners/losers. Everyone can get a bit afraid of losing sometimes which is part of normal pre-sport nervous energy, but those who love to compete get over it easily/quickly because the need to compete and put themselves on the line is greater.
Click to expand...

Fear or nervousness is not just about pre match. It can happen during the match too in crucial situations. It has happened to the best of best including Federer. Sampras after his US Open win couldn’t handle the pressure of being expected to win. It took him a couple of years to figure it out.

There is no easy answer. Pros and teams are spending a lot of money trying to figure out the answer Yet folks on tt forum have the answer or some cliché motivational quote is the answer?
 
S&V-not_dead_yet

S&V-not_dead_yet

Talk Tennis Guru
mcs1970 said:
Fear or nervousness is not just about pre match. It can happen during the match too in crucial situations. It has happened to the best of best including Federer. Sampras after his US Open win couldn’t handle the pressure of being expected to win. It took him a couple of years to figure it out.

There is no easy answer. Pros and teams are spending a lot of money trying to figure out the answer Yet folks on tt forum have the answer or some cliché motivational quote is the answer?
Click to expand...

Yes, because we're brilliant [note today's date].
 
H

HuusHould

Hall of Fame
mcs1970 said:
There is no easy answer. Pros and teams are spending a lot of money trying to figure out the answer Yet folks on tt forum have the answer or some cliché motivational quote is the answer?
Click to expand...
I don't think anyone here is claiming to have an easy answer, doesn't hurt to discuss ideas though.
 
M

mcs1970

Hall of Fame
HuusHould said:
I don't think anyone here is claiming to have an easy answer, doesn't hurt to discuss ideas though.
Click to expand...

This thread specifically talked about pros hating losing so badly and that’s how they get over their fear of losing. To me that is a simplistic answer for a complex problem that those very same pros and pro teams have been trying to solve for ages. If there was a magic pill or silver bullet to take nerves out of the equation they would have found it by now. Also nerves are not just pre match. They can strike anytime.

If the subject OTOH is about tips on managing nerves at different points in the game I am all in. As long as we don’t point to one cliche or give some simplistic answer on how pros do it when the pros themselves are trying to see what are the things that work for them.
 
Fintft

Fintft

G.O.A.T.
socallefty said:
No, that is not what I said. I just went off on a tangent about how hating to lose is part of what differentiates champions or people who win a lot from those who don’t.

For me, fear of losing is unrelated and it differentiates those who are willing to compete often with a scorecard versus those who prefer other activities with no scoreboard or winners/losers. Everyone can get a bit afraid of losing sometimes which is part of normal pre-sport nervous energy, but those who love to compete get over it easily/quickly because the need to compete and put themselves on the line is greater.
Click to expand...
I beg to differ. You may love to compete, but if you are afraid to lose, you don't get over it as easily as you make it sound and you either tense up or play too conservative ( or both).
When you are used to compete, then, it's a different story: easy to relax and put your fears aside.
 
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