Guys can be friends with girls.

Guys and girls can be platonic friends?

  • Yes, guys and girls can be friends -- and I'm a guy.

    Votes: 134 66.0%
  • Yes, guys and girls can be friends -- and I'm a girl.

    Votes: 11 5.4%
  • Nope, guys and girls can't be "just friends" -- and I'm a guy.

    Votes: 56 27.6%
  • Nope, guys and girls can't be "just friends" -- and I'm a girl.

    Votes: 2 1.0%

  • Total voters
    203

Craig Sheppard

Hall of Fame
True or false? I mean platonic friends. One of the other threads in this forum made me want to post a separate thread about this topic...
 
Nope, sorry, been around this planet long enough to learn that sooner or later one or the other gets upset somehow witht the other. Now good acquaintences or your guy friend's girl/wife, may work some of the time, but IMHO, it seems to transcend asthetics, age, preference, lifestyle, wealth, race or religion... one or the other is going to get attached in the wrong way and get hurt.

Sorry, that sounds sooo jaded but...
 

Craig Sheppard

Hall of Fame
I have to agree with you last 2 guys... (or girls perhaps). Always seems that no matter how innocent it starts out, at some point one or the other starts getting some ideas. Yeah call it cynical or what have you, but it just seems to be the way.

P.S. What is that web site? It got *'d out. -- nm, found it.
 

norcal

Hall of Fame
I voted yes guys can be friends with girls but only cause I don't want to scare Fee off (shhh).
 
also, not to rip off when harry met sally but girls usually think it's possible to be just friends with guys 9/10 times. most men know better.
 

Feña14

Legend
I don't think it's possible either. I don't even like to try and start to make friends with a girl as they automatically presume you are talking to them because you want to sleep with them.

When i'm talking with a friend I like to talk about normal things that males enjoy and have in common, the majority of girls would look at you like you were talking in a different language if you ask them about the game the night before.

If you get on with a girl then that generally means there's some chemistry there and that's dangerous.
 

dave333

Hall of Fame
I have a lot of girl friends I'm platonic to (they aren't as attractive though).

But I also have a lot of very good looking and hot girl friends which the thought of asking out hasn't slipped my mind.

But I'm in high school too, so I guess it does not really apply?....
 
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Alafter

Hall of Fame
So for the purpose of this pole, if I entertain the thought of doing all friends that are girls, but not necessary act upon, then it's ok right?
 
sorta, but remember it goes both ways, there may be girl friends of yours that you'd never want that with but they may be secretly thinking you'll come around to them sooner or later. trust me, this is from experience, not theory!
 

Bad Dog

Semi-Pro
As at least one other board member has pointed out, the answers are straightforward in accordance with the Ladder Theory – which you should google if it's not already familiar). That's because it provides many of the ultimate answers to avoid ambiguity in male-female relationships.

As the Ladder Theory points out, if we guys find a girl attractive, then usually we cannot be just friends with her. But exceptions exist; for example, a guy and girl can be friends if the guy already has a girlfriend who is much higher up on the ladder.
 

CanadianChic

Hall of Fame
Of course they can - I have many male friends and I know there is no sexual energy flowing either way with them. I think it's a matter of maturity and respect more than anything else. Occasionally, feelings may develop which is truly unfortunate if they are one sided.
 

fbone

Rookie
This thread reminds me of the movie "When Harry Met Sally"...Classic conversation about men and women being friends:


Harry: You realise of course that we can never be friends.

Sally: Why not?

Harry: What I'm saying is... and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or
form, is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That's not true, I have a number of men friends and there's is no sex
involved.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: You only think you do.

Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he
always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds
unattractive.

Harry: Nuh, you pretty much wanna nail'em too.



Love that last line...funny stuff.
 
Of course they can - I have many male friends and I know there is no sexual energy flowing either way with them. I think it's a matter of maturity and respect more than anything else. Occasionally, feelings may develop which is truly unfortunate if they are one sided.
Word!

Although, as much as I root for maturity, when someone who has been one of my best friends suddenly tries to bump things up a level, a bridge done been burned. There's a window. Once you miss it, the train's in London.
 

Craig Sheppard

Hall of Fame
Of course they can - I have many male friends and I know there is no sexual energy flowing either way with them. I think it's a matter of maturity and respect more than anything else. Occasionally, feelings may develop which is truly unfortunate if they are one sided.
So going by the ladder theory, they're either gay or find you unattractive. (Hey I'm just applying what was posted, and I know nothing about you) Which thinking back on my female "friends", the theory is very accurate.
 

CanadianChic

Hall of Fame
So going by the ladder theory, they're either gay or find you unattractive. (Hey I'm just applying what was posted, and I know nothing about you) Which thinking back on my female "friends", the theory is very accurate.
The ladder theory is just that though...a theory. I personally don't buy into it as I feel the human psyche in a tad more complex and relationships cannot simply just be generalized and compartmentalized.

As for your post, I have no idea for the most part what my male friends are thinking. Some have called me attractive while others say that I'm a geek - but who really knows what is truly in the mind of others? They all do know though that they are my friends and that I am only interested in them in that way. I do believe that the best relationships start out as strong friendships (or at least have that foundation). To simple state that it is not possible is so close-minded (which I am not). I think it is healthy and essential to have the benefits and experiences of friendships with the opposite sex. This is only my opinion though. :grin:
 

BreakPoint

Bionic Poster
This thread reminds me of the movie "When Harry Met Sally"...Classic conversation about men and women being friends:


Harry: You realise of course that we can never be friends.

Sally: Why not?

Harry: What I'm saying is... and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or
form, is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That's not true, I have a number of men friends and there's is no sex
involved.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: You only think you do.

Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he
always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds
unattractive.

Harry: Nuh, you pretty much wanna nail'em too.



Love that last line...funny stuff.
Yup, I was going to post the same thing.

Pretty funny scene (and movie)! :D
 

zapvor

G.O.A.T.
I don't think it's possible either. I don't even like to try and start to make friends with a girl as they automatically presume you are talking to them because you want to sleep with them.

.
yes! i hate that. unless its like completely random and out of place girls always aoutomatically assume you are talking to them because you wanna go to bed with them. whats with that? girls care to shed some light on this?? i mean sure sometimes thats the case but 8/10 times i started talking to you just to be friendly and outgoing and stuff. and you are not even that hot anyways, so stop thinking i want to sleep with you. i hate that
 
yes! i hate that. unless its like completely random and out of place girls always aoutomatically assume you are talking to them because you wanna go to bed with them. whats with that? girls care to shed some light on this?? i mean sure sometimes thats the case but 8/10 times i started talking to you just to be friendly and outgoing and stuff. and you are not even that hot anyways, so stop thinking i want to sleep with you. i hate that
Ahem! Maybe it's because:

a) 99% of the time, a random dude who comes up to you and talks to you uninvited IS just trying to get in your pants, whether he knows it or not;
b) most of the guys who are just "friendly and outgoing and stuff" are actually priming you for their eventual "strong move";
c) it's embarrassing, esp. if you're out with your male friends, when some ********* or another gets up in your grill (trying to get in your pants), so you try to nip the situation in the bud from the get-go; and
d) you've had to shut down a short parade of losers already in one night, so the next guy that talks to you gets the quick and brutal blow-off because you just don't want to deal with one more stupid conversation with some *********, period, and you don't give him a chance to demonstrate that he is not, in fact, trying to get in your pants. Tough luck for you both.

Any questions? ;)

Now a question for you:

When I actually *do* get into a decent conversation with a guy I don't really know, and I genuinely CAN'T tell whether he's hitting on me, I am torn between two options:

1) mentioning my boyfriend, just so that he knows that I'm spoken for and therefore I cannot be accused of leading on or teasing

--or--

2) not mentioning him, because I don't want the guy to get all cranky thinking I assumed he was hitting on me, and thus ruin our conversation and any fun we could have had.

gentlemen, any thoughts?
 

CanadianChic

Hall of Fame
Ahem! Maybe it's because:

a) 99% of the time, a random dude who comes up to you and talks to you uninvited IS just trying to get in your pants, whether he knows it or not;
b) most of the guys who are just "friendly and outgoing and stuff" are actually priming you for their eventual "strong move";
c) it's embarrassing, esp. if you're out with your male friends, when some ********* or another gets up in your grill (trying to get in your pants), so you try to nip the situation in the bud from the get-go; and
d) you've had to shut down a short parade of losers already in one night, so the next guy that talks to you gets the quick and brutal blow-off because you just don't want to deal with one more stupid conversation with some *********, period, and you don't give him a chance to demonstrate that he is not, in fact, trying to get in your pants. Tough luck for you both.
Finally, another sensible female to enter the realm of the extremely outnumbered on this forum. Welcome to the club PB. :D
 

Feña14

Legend
Ahem! Maybe it's because:

a) 99% of the time, a random dude who comes up to you and talks to you uninvited IS just trying to get in your pants, whether he knows it or not;
b) most of the guys who are just "friendly and outgoing and stuff" are actually priming you for their eventual "strong move";
c) it's embarrassing, esp. if you're out with your male friends, when some ********* or another gets up in your grill (trying to get in your pants), so you try to nip the situation in the bud from the get-go; and
d) you've had to shut down a short parade of losers already in one night, so the next guy that talks to you gets the quick and brutal blow-off because you just don't want to deal with one more stupid conversation with some *********, period, and you don't give him a chance to demonstrate that he is not, in fact, trying to get in your pants. Tough luck for you both.

Any questions? ;)

Now a question for you:

When I actually *do* get into a decent conversation with a guy I don't really know, and I genuinely CAN'T tell whether he's hitting on me, I am torn between two options:

1) mentioning my boyfriend, just so that he knows that I'm spoken for and therefore I cannot be accused of leading on or teasing

--or--

2) not mentioning him, because I don't want the guy to get all cranky thinking I assumed he was hitting on me, and thus ruin our conversation and any fun we could have had.

gentlemen, any thoughts?
a. 99% of all guys are trying to get you into bed, even though they don't know it? Rigghhttt.

b. Guys who are nice are just building up for the "strong move"? An example here.. I was in a shop in London and a girl said to her friend that she wanted to buy something for her little brother, I asked how old he was and what she wanted to get him.. I guess that was me just being nice to get her into bed, even though I didn't find her in the least attractive but I must of wanted to sleep with her "even though I didn't know it" :confused:

d. Because all guys are kissing up to you and being overly nice, if I wanted to ask your opinion on something, found something about you interesting and wanted to know where you got it so I could get one myself, or actually have a quality conversation with you, you would just give me the "brutal blow-off" without even hearing what I have to say? Interesting.

As for the boyfriend situation, mention it for sure. Alot of the time women are willing to cheat if someone they talk to can make them feel things that the person they are with can't (in the extreme scenario that the man talking to you actually is only talking to you to get you into bed), as the Ladder Theory says, life is about moving up in the world and if you are given the opportunity you will take it. Women say they have a boyfriend almost as a test to see how the person they are talking to responds and to cover themselves.

Suppose for an instance that what you said was all true, how on earth would it be possible for men and women to be friends if women think in that cautious and suspicious way? It simply wouldn't be possible to interact.
 

CanadianChic

Hall of Fame
Ahh Fena, I think PB was referring more to a bar or club setting than a local shop, although I may be off - that's just the impression I received.

A guy came up to me in a bar once and attempted small talk - it was all good, although it was obvious that I wasn't interested in anything, he kept hinting at dancing. When he asked if he could buy me a drink and I said no, he said, "so you must be one of those lesbians, eh?". That's the kind of crap element out there that is ruining it for you guys to get anywhere with us in those scenes. The problem is with the approach - again, I am not a believer of the ladder theory myself.
 

Frodo Baggins

Semi-Pro
ok my two cents:roll: Yess A girl an guy can be friends (to a Certain degree) Like in your teenage years its all innocent:) ..But As soon as you hit your twentys an thirtys You Don't know if the guy wants to be friends,date you,or Do you..so it gets confusing as you get older!!!<ok said my piece;)
 

Phil

Hall of Fame
Now a question for you:

When I actually *do* get into a decent conversation with a guy I don't really know, and I genuinely CAN'T tell whether he's hitting on me, I am torn between two options:

1) mentioning my boyfriend, just so that he knows that I'm spoken for and therefore I cannot be accused of leading on or teasing

--or--

2) not mentioning him, because I don't want the guy to get all cranky thinking I assumed he was hitting on me, and thus ruin our conversation and any fun we could have had.

gentlemen, any thoughts?
Maybe you can add a third option: Tell him that you're a lesbian (whether or not it's true). After that, if the guy CONTINUES to talk to you, without visible signs of dissapointment, you can "allow" him to continue the conversation with you. Otherwise...just blow him off as you would anyone else...

--Ducks, runs for cover, calls in close air support...
 
a. 99% of all guys are trying to get you into bed, even though they don't know it? Rigghhttt.
Fena, Fena, Fena, why so serious? What part of that there winky face up yonder don't you understand? Besides, follow my syntax. What I said was that 99% of the guys who approach you (yes, like CC said, in a bar or other similar social setting) ARE trying to get in your pants--WHETHER they know it or not. Not 99% are trying to get you in bed AND don't know it.

b. Guys who are nice are just building up for the "strong move"?
Yes. Did I stutter? ;)

d. Because all guys are kissing up to you and being overly nice, if I wanted to ask your opinion on something, found something about you interesting and wanted to know where you got it so I could get one myself, or actually have a quality conversation with you, you would just give me the "brutal blow-off" without even hearing what I have to say? Interesting.
Uh, no. That's not what I said at all. Reading comprehension's not your strong suit, I'm guessin? ;) (Oh, and just in case you missed that: ;) )

As for the boyfriend situation, mention it for sure. Alot of the time women are willing to cheat if someone they talk to can make them feel things that the person they are with can't (in the extreme scenario that the man talking to you actually is only talking to you to get you into bed), as the Ladder Theory says, life is about moving up in the world and if you are given the opportunity you will take it. Women say they have a boyfriend almost as a test to see how the person they are talking to responds and to cover themselves.
I say I have a boyfriend...because I have a boyfriend. I only hesitate to mention boyfriend when I don't want the nonboyfriend I'm talking to to feel defensive or like I "assumed" nonboyfriend was hitting on me.

Suppose for an instance that what you said was all true, how on earth would it be possible for men and women to be friends if women think in that cautious and suspicious way? It simply wouldn't be possible to interact.
Oh, it's more than possible. It's great entertainment! ;)
 

Feña14

Legend
..Uh, no. That's not what I said at all. Reading comprehension's not your strong suit, I'm guessin? ;) (Oh, and just in case you missed that: ;) )...
Wow you talk alot of rubbish lol.

You said .... "you've had to shut down a short parade of losers already in one night, so the next guy that talks to you gets the quick and brutal blow-off because you just don't want to deal with one more stupid conversation with some *********.."


You must have a pretty short memory if you think I made it up when its clear as day you said it. I'm still wondering what gives you the right to decide if a person is a "*********" without even letting them talk but hey, whatever you say.

If you are right about it all and you should brutally blow-off people you have no intrest in hearing what they have to say then maybe I should take a leaf out of your book. Thank God for the ignore list eh? ;)
 

zapvor

G.O.A.T.
Omg

Ahem! Maybe it's because:

a) 99% of the time, a random dude who comes up to you and talks to you uninvited IS just trying to get in your pants, whether he knows it or not;
b) most of the guys who are just "friendly and outgoing and stuff" are actually priming you for their eventual "strong move";
c) it's embarrassing, esp. if you're out with your male friends, when some ********* or another gets up in your grill (trying to get in your pants), so you try to nip the situation in the bud from the get-go; and
d) you've had to shut down a short parade of losers already in one night, so the next guy that talks to you gets the quick and brutal blow-off because you just don't want to deal with one more stupid conversation with some *********, period, and you don't give him a chance to demonstrate that he is not, in fact, trying to get in your pants. Tough luck for you both.

Any questions? ;)

Now a question for you:

When I actually *do* get into a decent conversation with a guy I don't really know, and I genuinely CAN'T tell whether he's hitting on me, I am torn between two options:

1) mentioning my boyfriend, just so that he knows that I'm spoken for and therefore I cannot be accused of leading on or teasing

--or--

2) not mentioning him, because I don't want the guy to get all cranky thinking I assumed he was hitting on me, and thus ruin our conversation and any fun we could have had.

gentlemen, any thoughts?
Wow. thank you. as funny as this is discussing this on a tennis forum, i am glad we are being frank here.
now,
A) NO we are not trying to get in your pants. Actually, more accurately, I am not trying to get in your pants. Your pants are ugly too.

B) I see the trend here. Thanks to all you ********* guys out there ****ing up the game, i have to suffer. No, i am just being friendly and outgoing because i have a goofy side to me. May i even say I love elevator conversations. ;)

C)I dont know, i dont mind when a guy is standing right next to a girl when i approach her. its hilarious actually. one time at a bbq i go up to 2 girls and 2 guys and start chatting them up, and one of the guys like gets so freaked out he moves so he is facing his back to me and tries to block me out. i tried not to laugh. so once again, all the loser guys out there f**king it up for me again.

D)I hate you guys. come on fellows, ya feel my pain? if you are gonna play, step your game up. dont ruin it for me...geez.

Now for your question. i personally dont care if you mention the bf, but i think most guys dislike that. either way, i feel most girls just say they have one anyways. its kinda like when you try to talk to a girl sometimes and she grabs her female friend and is all like' nope we are lovers' before you even start talking. ridiculous. personally, i would not say it if i were you because if you end up sleeping with him you dont have to face the guilt of being a **** in his eyes.

so, what do you suggest for the guy to say/do to show that he is NOT starting the conversation with her just to 'make his move' later and that sort of thing.
 

zapvor

G.O.A.T.
Wow you talk alot of rubbish lol.

You said .... "you've had to shut down a short parade of losers already in one night, so the next guy that talks to you gets the quick and brutal blow-off because you just don't want to deal with one more stupid conversation with some *********.."

If you are right about it all and you should brutally blow-off people you have no intrest in hearing what they have to say then maybe I should take a leaf out of your book. Thank God for the ignore list eh? ;)
hahahahah i wanna hear what she has to say first. i am giving her the benefit of the doubt here. unlike her, we gentlemen dont rush to judgments and do the'brutal blow-off' on a whim.
 
Wow you talk alot of rubbish lol.
For sure I do! But I'm just trying to have fun, Fena. I thought this was a just-for-fun thread, not a serious one? If we're being serious, I'll totally change my tune: :neutral: eh?

You said .... "you've had to shut down a short parade of losers already in one night, so the next guy that talks to you gets the quick and brutal blow-off because you just don't want to deal with one more stupid conversation with some *********.."
Yes, you're right, I did say the brutal blow-off part. It was the "all guys" and "overly nice" parts I took issue with. If that was a euphemism on your part, it went over my head.

I'm still wondering what gives you the right to decide if a person is a "*********" without even letting them talk but hey, whatever you say.
I googled "*********" and "Bill of Rights"...nuttin'. You might have me there.

If you are right about it all and you should brutally blow-off people you have no intrest in hearing what they have to say then maybe I should take a leaf out of your book. Thank God for the ignore list eh? ;)
True, we sure don't seem to click. I am sorry, though... I thought we were joking around. And for the record, of COURSE I don't think 99% of guys are hitting on me. No woman I know has self-esteem that sky-high (i.e., is that delusional).
 

zapvor

G.O.A.T.
Oh really?



What makes you think that is their reason? Perhaps they simply don't consider you as charming and witty a conversationalist as you do yourself. ;)
hahahahha. no what i am saying is when i try to talk to them they automatically think i am hitting on them, when i am not. they act like they are so hot when they are not, and it disgusts me. my charm and wit are a different matter.
 

CanadianChic

Hall of Fame
hahahahha. no what i am saying is when i try to talk to them they automatically think i am hitting on them, when i am not. they act like they are so hot when they are not, and it disgusts me. my charm and wit are a different matter.
Okay. I agree that there are a lot of women who are high on themselves, just as there are a lot of guys who run around saying that women aren't hot when they clearly are. Kirilenko is an example of this. On this forum I was shocked to see someone refer to her as ugly. I would love to see the picture of the Adonis who made this claim.
 

zapvor

G.O.A.T.
Okay. I agree that there are a lot of women who are high on themselves, just as there are a lot of guys who run around saying that women aren't hot when they clearly are. Kirilenko is an example of this. On this forum I was shocked to see someone refer to her as ugly. I would love to see the picture of the Adonis who made this claim.
well hello there. i am glad you can see that. theres way too many ugly girls who act like they are Kirilenko. makes them even more ugly. actually i dont know kirilenko at all maybe she's like that too. so wanna help me out? what do i say to a girl to let her know its just converstion, nothing more?
 

Lakoste

Professional
I've been friends with this girl since we were 5, she is now married and I have a girlfriend of 2 years, we talk all the time even though we live in different states. I think that is friendship?
 

CanadianChic

Hall of Fame
well hello there. i am glad you can see that. theres way too many ugly girls who act like they are Kirilenko. makes them even more ugly. actually i dont know kirilenko at all maybe she's like that too. so wanna help me out? what do i say to a girl to let her know its just converstion, nothing more?
First of all, you may want to reconsider calling women ugly - none of us appreciate that kind of talk whether from a man we are dating or our male friends - it is simply disrespectful period. If you are in a drinking setting, my advice would be to play it low key. Smile a lot, ask her if she feels like hanging out, avoid the word ugly at all costs and for the love of Pete, look at her face while you're talking to her and not her chest (a sure giveaway). The bar is a meat market so it is difficult to meet people without giving off that impression. I would say to her that you are there to have a good time but aren't looking to hook up. Pretty basic. At all costs, avoid the latest trend of men insulting women to get their attention - all it will get you is a drink in the face. Try something like this:

"Hi, my name is ______. I am not interested in you, do not find you the least attractive, will not offer to buy you a drink or dance with you, or ask for your number. Please try to keep your hands off me...I know I'm irrisistable with a great arse but I'm shy and don't like feeling like a piece of meat in these places."

Someone said that to me once and I laughed so hard I spit my drink. It's not insulting but friendly and shows some humour. ;)
 

goober

Legend
I had plenty of platonic female friends that I had no interest in bedding. That is until I got married. Then all the sudden female friends became off limits platonic or not.
 

zapvor

G.O.A.T.
First of all, you may want to reconsider calling women ugly - none of us appreciate that kind of talk whether from a man we are dating or our male friends - it is simply disrespectful period. If you are in a drinking setting, my advice would be to play it low key. Smile a lot, ask her if she feels like hanging out, avoid the word ugly at all costs and for the love of Pete, look at her face while you're talking to her and not her chest (a sure giveaway). The bar is a meat market so it is difficult to meet people without giving off that impression. I would say to her that you are there to have a good time but aren't looking to hook up. Pretty basic. At all costs, avoid the latest trend of men insulting women to get their attention - all it will get you is a drink in the face. Try something like this:

"Hi, my name is ______. I am not interested in you, do not find you the least attractive, will not offer to buy you a drink or dance with you, or ask for your number. Please try to keep your hands off me...I know I'm irrisistable with a great arse but I'm shy and don't like feeling like a piece of meat in these places."

Someone said that to me once and I laughed so hard I spit my drink. It's not insulting but friendly and shows some humour. ;)
uh, i can say ugly if i want. and its not insulting. its true. i am merely stating a fact. you girls so sensitive and fragile. i do look at her face, unless i make a comment about her chest. you are right the bar is a meat market. no wonder i usually say little. thanks for the tips. i think next time i am going to start off with:
"so this is what a canadian chick told me to say first" :p
 
Wow. thank you. as funny as this is discussing this on a tennis forum, i am glad we are being frank here.
Well, I wouldn't say I was "frank." Mostly "disingenuous," hehehe.

A) NO we are not trying to get in your pants. Actually, more accurately, I am not trying to get in your pants. Your pants are ugly too.
LOL! My pants are deeply offended.

C)I dont know, i dont mind when a guy is standing right next to a girl when i approach her. its hilarious actually. one time at a bbq i go up to 2 girls and 2 guys and start chatting them up, and one of the guys like gets so freaked out he moves so he is facing his back to me and tries to block me out. i tried not to laugh. so once again, all the loser guys out there f**king it up for me again.
On this one I was actually half-serious. It *does* embarrass me to get hit on in front of my guy friends. But the reverse is true, too. If some lame girl comes and throws herself at them in front of me, they get endless **** about it later.

Now for your question. i personally dont care if you mention the bf, but i think most guys dislike that. either way, i feel most girls just say they have one anyways. its kinda like when you try to talk to a girl sometimes and she grabs her female friend and is all like' nope we are lovers' before you even start talking. ridiculous. personally, i would not say it if i were you because if you end up sleeping with him you dont have to face the guilt of being a **** in his eyes.
Meh, I was thinking along the lines of a guy you actually do enjoy talking with, but have no intention of sleeping with...so you don't want to lead him on, yet you don't want to throw in the casual "my boyfriend" reference and thereby communicate that you think he's hitting on you. I don't cheat, btw. Period.

so, what do you suggest for the guy to say/do to show that he is NOT starting the conversation with her just to 'make his move' later and that sort of thing.
Okay, I'll try to remain serious for another 30 seconds here. In all honestly, I posted A-D above (with the exception of parts of C) as complete banter--not serious at all. I don't think women are really so suspicious of every dude who talks to them. I mean 75% of my friends are guys--I'd have about four friends if the above were true! Frankly, I don't have the nerve to "brutally blow off" anyone, ********* or no, except the drunk, drooling, OBVIOUS douchebags who grab my backside and slur lewd things in my ear (which is never, by the way, a compliment to a young lass). If I had to give SERIOUS advice (ohhhhh, the pain!), I'd say:

1) Don't ignore everyone else she's with. Introduce yourself to them, too.
2) A guy friend-charmed the pants off me (not literally) by saying the following: "Can I buy you a drink? I mean, assuming you'll get next round." If a girl is offended by this, she's lame.
3) Ask her if she plays tennis. If she doesn't tell her she's lame.;)
4) Don't touch her unnecessarily. LOL.

Sorry. I'm not so good at "serious" sometimes.:-D
 

CanadianChic

Hall of Fame
uh, i can say ugly if i want. and its not insulting. its true. i am merely stating a fact. you girls so sensitive and fragile. i do look at her face, unless i make a comment about her chest. you are right the bar is a meat market. no wonder i usually say little. thanks for the tips. i think next time i am going to start off with:
"so this is what a canadian chick told me to say first" :p
Wow, please don't. I tried to offer you some advice (which you asked for twice in this thread) - it's up to you whether or not you want to take it. Personally, you would strike out in about 15 seconds with any of the females I know, but if you want to stick with the stand-up comedy routine, insisting on referring to people as ugly (whether it's true or not, there's a little thing mature men have twigged onto called TACT), and it's working for you, hey...all the power to ya. ;)
 

zapvor

G.O.A.T.
Well, I wouldn't say I was "frank." Mostly "disingenuous," hehehe.



LOL! My pants are deeply offended.



On this one I was actually half-serious. It *does* embarrass me to get hit on in front of my guy friends. But the reverse is true, too. If some lame girl comes and throws herself at them in front of me, they get endless **** about it later.



Meh, I was thinking along the lines of a guy you actually do enjoy talking with, but have no intention of sleeping with...so you don't want to lead him on, yet you don't want to throw in the casual "my boyfriend" reference and thereby communicate that you think he's hitting on you. I don't cheat, btw. Period.



Okay, I'll try to remain serious for another 30 seconds here. In all honestly, I posted A-D above (with the exception of parts of C) as complete banter--not serious at all. I don't think women are really so suspicious of every dude who talks to them. I mean 75% of my friends are guys--I'd have about four friends if the above were true! Frankly, I don't have the nerve to "brutally blow off" anyone, ********* or no, except the drunk, drooling, OBVIOUS douchebags who grab my backside and slur lewd things in my ear (which is never, by the way, a compliment to a young lass). If I had to give SERIOUS advice (ohhhhh, the pain!), I'd say:

1) Don't ignore everyone else she's with. Introduce yourself to them, too.
2) A guy friend-charmed the pants off me (not literally) by saying the following: "Can I buy you a drink? I mean, assuming you'll get next round." If a girl is offended by this, she's lame.
3) Ask her if she plays tennis. If she doesn't tell her she's lame.;)
4) Don't touch her unnecessarily. LOL.

Sorry. I'm not so good at "serious" sometimes.:-D
eh.....
but thats the thing. i am not hitting on you when you are with your guy friends. but i see what you mean. ok i messed up the question and answer. just dont mention it. if the conversation is going good, let it be. if he thinks you are leading him on and expects something in the end, and you reject him, thats his fault for not stepping the game up right.
i mean its not that they are blowing me off, but they make it clear that they arent looking for that even though i am not either. i just want to be like 'geez stop assuming that you-"

thanks for putting on the thinking cap. i appreciate it
 
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