Ahem! Maybe it's because:
a) 99% of the time, a random dude who comes up to you and talks to you uninvited IS just trying to get in your pants, whether he knows it or not;
b) most of the guys who are just "friendly and outgoing and stuff" are actually priming you for their eventual "strong move"
I am torn between two options:
1) mentioning my boyfriend, just so that he knows that I'm spoken for and therefore I cannot be accused of leading on or teasing
--or--
2) not mentioning him, because I don't want the guy to get all cranky thinking I assumed he was hitting on me, and thus ruin our conversation and any fun we could have had.
gentlemen, any thoughts?
I don't know why anyone hasn't said anything about the "friends zone". For a guy (like me) that's the one thing that I don't wanna be in. Because once a girl puts you in the "friends zone" your there forever. You cannot do anything else. If the "platonic friendship" in our society still exist, that's the only way you can get out of the "friends zone". I'm getting married soon and I always stay away from girls who wants to be "friends" with me. Due to multiple reasons:
1. My personality is just too attracting. (Don't hate me, hate god for making me this way)
2. My wedding band electronically shocks me if I look at women.
3. My beloved has assured me (and on many occassions) that she will cut-off my penis.
I don't know why anyone hasn't said anything about the "friends zone". For a guy (like me) that's the one thing that I don't wanna be in. Because once a girl puts you in the "friends zone" your there forever. You cannot do anything else. If the "platonic friendship" in our society still exist, that's the only way you can get out of the "friends zone". I'm getting married soon and I always stay away from girls who wants to be "friends" with me. Due to multiple reasons:
1. My personality is just too attracting. (Don't hate me, hate god for making me this way)
2. My wedding band electronically shocks me if I look at women.
3. My beloved has assured me (and on many occassions) that she will cut-off my penis.
Now a question for you:
When I actually *do* get into a decent conversation with a guy I don't really know, and I genuinely CAN'T tell whether he's hitting on me, I am torn between two options:
1) mentioning my boyfriend, just so that he knows that I'm spoken for and therefore I cannot be accused of leading on or teasing
--or--
2) not mentioning him, because I don't want the guy to get all cranky thinking I assumed he was hitting on me, and thus ruin our conversation and any fun we could have had.
gentlemen, any thoughts?
I have a whole lot of attractive girl friends and have no feelings for them. I have a lot of attractive girl friends that I do have feelings for too. It just depends on whether or not there's chemistry there.
Good man. Finally some more guys that aren't full of crap. All these touchy feely metrosexual, man women were getting a little annoying.
but one thing IT'S A LIE!! everyone told me once I got married and had teh ring I would barely be able to walk down the street due to all the hot women throwing themselves at me... A LIE!!
Also, she's not kidding women are smaller than us but they are much meaner, hold a grudge, and are much smarter than us in all things non-mechanical. So fly right, respect each other and CONGRADULATIONS on the marriage, it really is a beautiful thing.... even if young attractive women don't start throwing themselves at you ;-)
Hey, on the first few pages there was talk of the ladder theory--it's essentially the same friend zone, but they call it the friends ladder.
lol @ #3. You're a lucky man. I see so many girls/women these days who don't care about this kind of stuff. They're just all wishy-washy... I think guys respect girls more who say stuff like this. In a convoluted (kinda aggro) way, it shows they care. I hear girls (even ones that are married) about not caring that guys look at other girls or not caring about what their guys do. Pbbffftt.
I don't understand what you mean about a platonic friendship getting out of the friend zone... a platonic friendship would put you squarely in the friend zone...
my gf has guy friends, and theya re jsut friends haha i know, i spy on her lol.
I have a whole lot of attractive girl friends and have no feelings for them. I have a lot of attractive girl friends that I do have feelings for too. It just depends on whether or not there's chemistry there.
Though there are like 10 girls on these boards, I still think how it's significant that none of them thinks guys and girls can't be friends.
Girls just don't try to get guys by being their friends (or at least the girls I know). Unlike the guys who often (not all of them to all the girls) use "friendship" as a way to get the girl. Which is bad! Bad! Bad!
You're just lying to yourselves. I've seen more than once you just chat w/ a chick, and they find you have some social skills so they want to chat some more... then they want to start hanging out... they are the ones initiating the "friendship", then when you ask them out, it's "oh, I'm dating so and so..." So don't give me that... girls are just as bad as guys at doing anything it takes to get what they want.
What about those girls who said they just want to be your sister, then the next thing you know, they are all over you, and you scream, "help, help, HELP!!!!"
my best friend's a girl, and i'm a guy... :S and NO i do not have sexual feelings for her...
How old were you when you meet, and speaking objectively is she at least as attractive as other people you would usually date?
Only way guys can usually be a true friend to a girl with zero agenda is if they've were next door neighbors, etc. and they have known each other since childhood....... or if she is unattractive and there is zero interest on either side.....
For almost all others the line can get real blurry even from a touch that lingers a few seconds to long, etc.
This is the sort of thing I've heard all my life, and it nearly breaks my ice-encrusted, shriveled little heart. I just choose not to believe it--almost ALL of my friends are guys, so if I follow that reasoning to its logical conclusion...yikes. My (male) roommate in college once even reduced me to tears by insisting over and over, "Your friends aren't really your friends. They're just waiting their turn to sleep with you." That would be a sad reality, were it true.
Believe it. The most innocent thing (seemingly) can "turn" one of your friends. It really depends on the guy of course... but of friends that I know that are together that were friends and things that have happened to myself, I'd say there's more truth to it than fiction. The worst part is that the guy may have never thought it could happen or may have never seen it coming. And I think girls may or may not know, but I bet it happens to them as well... I know there are girls out there who rule out some dude who they think is unattractive, then the wind changes and something little happens that turns her opinion of him.
Remember also that what a person finds attractive varies over time. I know as I've grown up what I didn't used to find attractive, I do now, and vice versa. Even though I voted "no", it doesn't mean I'm a pessimist.
Let me ask you this though--why are all your friends guys? What is wrong with girlfriends? I really want to know, because I know a lot of girls like this where I live.
Believe it. The most innocent thing (seemingly) can "turn" one of your friends. It really depends on the guy of course... but of friends that I know that are together that were friends and things that have happened to myself, I'd say there's more truth to it than fiction. The worst part is that the guy may have never thought it could happen or may have never seen it coming. And I think girls may or may not know, but I bet it happens to them as well... I know there are girls out there who rule out some dude who they think is unattractive, then the wind changes and something little happens that turns her opinion of him.
Remember also that what a person finds attractive varies over time. I know as I've grown up what I didn't used to find attractive, I do now, and vice versa. Even though I voted "no", it doesn't mean I'm a pessimist.
Let me ask you this though--why are all your friends guys? What is wrong with girlfriends? I really want to know, because I know a lot of girls like this where I live.
Of course they can. My closest friend is a girl who I think is very beautiful. blah laphla
janne - why did you edit your post? i thought it was great. both parts. very well said!
Believe it. The most innocent thing (seemingly) can "turn" one of your friends. It really depends on the guy of course... but of friends that I know that are together that were friends and things that have happened to myself, I'd say there's more truth to it than fiction. The worst part is that the guy may have never thought it could happen or may have never seen it coming. And I think girls may or may not know, but I bet it happens to them as well... I know there are girls out there who rule out some dude who they think is unattractive, then the wind changes and something little happens that turns her opinion of him.
Let me ask you this though--why are all your friends guys? What is wrong with girlfriends? I really want to know, because I know a lot of girls like this where I live.
PB - i have to say - i LOVE your screen name. cracks me up every time i see it.
PB, are you associated with the user Bossass in any way? Just curious as I saw that he/she was on the other night and wondered if that may be the bf?
Of course they can. My closest friend is a girl who I think is very beautiful. I think the guys who voted for option number 3 might be virgins who've never had sex before, so naturally, that's all they can think about. Though when they've had it they'll realise that there is more to life than just sex and might be able to think more rationally and understand that it is very much possible to be friends with an attractive girl without any hidden agendas. Please note, I am in no way saying that there is anything wrong with being a virgin. In fact, I actually have a lot of respect for those who have the guts to wait until they get married or wait until they feel they are ready.
Peace,
Janne
No virgins here. And do I think of "intimate relations" all the time...... well that'll be my little secret, but YES.....well maybe not all the time just when a half way attractive woman is nearby. I think that is pretty normal unless you are 65 and had prostate surgery. The fact that viagra, etc. makes hundreds of millions a year speaks to that.
And I think it's great that you are maybe the exception that proves the rule.
I'm a simple guy I like playing basketball, and tennis. Watching all sports and also scifi movies. Also, my last female "friend" that wasn't dating a buddy of mine was when I was 9-10. But if I found the right girl at the right time...... maybe. But I may just be a less evolved creature and incapable of this type of interaction, and I'm ok with that.
also.... are you honestly saying that if your "Beautiful" friend one day confessed her unceasing love to you, and you were also single you wouldn't give it a shoot?.... again my exception is you were friends since kids. Even though if she's hot/nice enough most guys would do a what the heck, anyway. I could be wrong.
and man I ned to get a job I'm spending way to much time on boards.
wow tennis couple on a forum. this is turning into a real community day by day!