Had a lesson for the first time in years yesterday

yossarian

Professional
The guy seemed knowledgeable enough. Former college player turned open tournament guy. Occasionally wins one here and there. Came strongly recommended by a friend

But thanks to talk tennis, I knew what to look for

He started by asking me what I wanted to work on. I promptly said “my serve!” My wimpy, pitiful 110 mph flat serve up the T gets eaten up by the local park 4.0 GOATs. I need to bump that baby up to at least 115 in order to be competitive

After a few warm ups, I asked him about the power differential between pinpoint and platform serve stances. He told me to choose whichever was more comfortable

Whichever was more comfortable? This is 4.0 level tennis we’re talking about!

“You mean you can’t tell me the difference in length tension developed in the lower extremely kinetic chain between the two options?” I asked.

“No,” he replied (quite curtly, I’ll add)

“Jesus Christ, what are you doing!”

My exclamation was returned with a blank stare

“you mean to tell me you’re not capturing my serve with high speed video?” I asked.

“You want me to video you?”

“Well you can’t anymore! Look at the sun! Far too much motion blur will be present now for us to analyze ISR!” I yelled.

“Huh?” he retorted.

Not even 10 minutes had passed and I already knew this guy was a hack. He probably couldn’t even name the origin, insertion, action, innervation, and blood supply of the muscles involved in glenohumeral internal rotation, let alone have an informed discussion on the biomechanics of scapulohumeral rhythm! No way could he shed light on the importance of sternoclavicular crank shaft elevation in gross shoulder elevation ROM!

So I figured I’d give him one last chance to redeem himself

“I’ve got some hypomobilty in spinal segments T2-5,” I said. “Will that negatively impact my ability to develop a good stretch-shorten cycle and hit flat bombs?” I asked.

“What?”

“Will my lack of thoracic extension —“

“Just arch your back a bit and hit a serve. Any serve,” he said.

“Arch my back!”I exclaimed. “What the hell does that mean? We must speak in biomechanically my correct terms so we have a mutual understanding here. I’m talking about thoracic extension! Potentially limited by tight anterior ligamentous structures like the anterior longitudinal ligament and decreased arthrokinematic motion at the costovertebral joints —“

He left before I could educate him on the deep dynamic stabilizers of the back and the role such muscles as the semispinalis cervicis play in developing minute contralateral rotation of the spine which is of course pivotal in getting that much needed 5 mph boost.

What a loser. So now I’m in the market for a new coach. One that hopefully has at least a baseline understanding of this absolutely basic, need to know material to play 4.0 tennis once a week at the park on the weekend
 
Last edited:

megamind

Legend
tbh you dont seem all that nice yourself?

just because someone doesn't meet your "standards", doesn't mean you gotta mock them

I recommend you don't find a new coach, since you seem to know more than them biomechanically speaking
 

S&V-not_dead_yet

Talk Tennis Guru
The guy seemed knowledgeable enough. Former college player turned open tournament guy. Occasionally wins one here and there. Came strongly recommended by a friend

But thanks to talk tennis, I knew what to look for

He started by asking me what I wanted to work on. I promptly said “my serve!” My wimpy, pitiful 110 mph flat serve up the T gets eaten up by the local park 4.0 GOATs. I need to bump that baby up to at least 115 in order to be competitive

After a few warm ups, I asked him about the power differential between pinpoint and platform serve stances. He told me to choose whichever was more comfortable

Whichever was more comfortable? This is 4.0 level tennis we’re talking about!

“You mean you can’t tell me the difference in length tension developed in the lower extremely kinetic chain between the two options?” I asked.

“No,” he replied (quite curtly, I’ll add)

“Jesus Christ, what are you doing!”

My exclamation was returned with a blank stare

“you mean to tell me you’re not capturing my serve with high speed video?” I asked.

“You want me to video you?”

“Well you can’t anymore! Look at the sun! Far too much motion blur will be present now for us to analyze ISR!” I yelled.

“Huh?” he retorted.

Not even 10 minutes had passed and I already knew this guy was a hack. He probably couldn’t even name the origin, insertion, action, innervation, and blood supply of the muscles involved in glenohumeral internal rotation, let alone have an informed discussion on the biomechanics of scapulohumeral rhythm! No way could he shed light on the importance of sternoclavicular crank shaft elevation in gross shoulder elevation ROM!

So I figured I’d give him one last chance to redeem himself

“I’ve got some hypomobilty in spinal segments T2-5,” I said. “Will that negatively impact my ability to develop a good stretch-shorten cycle and hit flat bombs?” I asked.

“What?”

“Will my lack of thoracic extension —“

“Just arch your back a bit and hit a serve. Any serve,” he said.

“Arch my back!”I exclaimed. “What the hell does that mean? We must speak in biomechanically my correct terms so we have a mutual understanding here. I’m talking about thoracic extension! Potentially limited by tight anterior ligamentous structures like the anterior longitudinal ligament and decreased arthrokinematic motion at the costovertebral joints —“

He left before I could educate him on the deep dynamic stabilizers of the back and the role such muscles as the semispinalis cervicis play in developing minute contralateral rotation of the spine which is of course pivotal in getting that much needed 5 mph boost.

What a loser. So now I’m in the market for a new coach. One that hopefully has at least a baseline understanding of this absolutely basic, need to know material to play 4.0 tennis once a week at the park on the weekend
Prepare a dissertation and make the next coach read it and answer all of your questions up-front, complete with footnotes and bibliography. Randomly text him at odd hours and test his knowledge. :D
 

travlerajm

G.O.A.T.
The guy seemed knowledgeable enough. Former college player turned open tournament guy. Occasionally wins one here and there. Came strongly recommended by a friend

But thanks to talk tennis, I knew what to look for

He started by asking me what I wanted to work on. I promptly said “my serve!” My wimpy, pitiful 110 mph flat serve up the T gets eaten up by the local park 4.0 GOATs. I need to bump that baby up to at least 115 in order to be competitive

After a few warm ups, I asked him about the power differential between pinpoint and platform serve stances. He told me to choose whichever was more comfortable

Whichever was more comfortable? This is 4.0 level tennis we’re talking about!

“You mean you can’t tell me the difference in length tension developed in the lower extremely kinetic chain between the two options?” I asked.

“No,” he replied (quite curtly, I’ll add)

“Jesus Christ, what are you doing!”

My exclamation was returned with a blank stare

“you mean to tell me you’re not capturing my serve with high speed video?” I asked.

“You want me to video you?”

“Well you can’t anymore! Look at the sun! Far too much motion blur will be present now for us to analyze ISR!” I yelled.

“Huh?” he retorted.

Not even 10 minutes had passed and I already knew this guy was a hack. He probably couldn’t even name the origin, insertion, action, innervation, and blood supply of the muscles involved in glenohumeral internal rotation, let alone have an informed discussion on the biomechanics of scapulohumeral rhythm! No way could he shed light on the importance of sternoclavicular crank shaft elevation in gross shoulder elevation ROM!

So I figured I’d give him one last chance to redeem himself

“I’ve got some hypomobilty in spinal segments T2-5,” I said. “Will that negatively impact my ability to develop a good stretch-shorten cycle and hit flat bombs?” I asked.

“What?”

“Will my lack of thoracic extension —“

“Just arch your back a bit and hit a serve. Any serve,” he said.

“Arch my back!”I exclaimed. “What the hell does that mean? We must speak in biomechanically my correct terms so we have a mutual understanding here. I’m talking about thoracic extension! Potentially limited by tight anterior ligamentous structures like the anterior longitudinal ligament and decreased arthrokinematic motion at the costovertebral joints —“

He left before I could educate him on the deep dynamic stabilizers of the back and the role such muscles as the semispinalis cervicis play in developing minute contralateral rotation of the spine which is of course pivotal in getting that much needed 5 mph boost.

What a loser. So now I’m in the market for a new coach. One that hopefully has at least a baseline understanding of this absolutely basic, need to know material to play 4.0 tennis once a week at the park on the weekend
I think you lost him at 110.
 

Papa Mango

Semi-Pro
The guy seemed knowledgeable enough. Former college player turned open tournament guy. Occasionally wins one here and there. Came strongly recommended by a friend

But thanks to talk tennis, I knew what to look for

He started by asking me what I wanted to work on. I promptly said “my serve!” My wimpy, pitiful 110 mph flat serve up the T gets eaten up by the local park 4.0 GOATs. I need to bump that baby up to at least 115 in order to be competitive

After a few warm ups, I asked him about the power differential between pinpoint and platform serve stances. He told me to choose whichever was more comfortable

Whichever was more comfortable? This is 4.0 level tennis we’re talking about!

“You mean you can’t tell me the difference in length tension developed in the lower extremely kinetic chain between the two options?” I asked.

“No,” he replied (quite curtly, I’ll add)

“Jesus Christ, what are you doing!”

My exclamation was returned with a blank stare

“you mean to tell me you’re not capturing my serve with high speed video?” I asked.

“You want me to video you?”

“Well you can’t anymore! Look at the sun! Far too much motion blur will be present now for us to analyze ISR!” I yelled.

“Huh?” he retorted.

Not even 10 minutes had passed and I already knew this guy was a hack. He probably couldn’t even name the origin, insertion, action, innervation, and blood supply of the muscles involved in glenohumeral internal rotation, let alone have an informed discussion on the biomechanics of scapulohumeral rhythm! No way could he shed light on the importance of sternoclavicular crank shaft elevation in gross shoulder elevation ROM!

So I figured I’d give him one last chance to redeem himself

“I’ve got some hypomobilty in spinal segments T2-5,” I said. “Will that negatively impact my ability to develop a good stretch-shorten cycle and hit flat bombs?” I asked.

“What?”

“Will my lack of thoracic extension —“

“Just arch your back a bit and hit a serve. Any serve,” he said.

“Arch my back!”I exclaimed. “What the hell does that mean? We must speak in biomechanically my correct terms so we have a mutual understanding here. I’m talking about thoracic extension! Potentially limited by tight anterior ligamentous structures like the anterior longitudinal ligament and decreased arthrokinematic motion at the costovertebral joints —“

He left before I could educate him on the deep dynamic stabilizers of the back and the role such muscles as the semispinalis cervicis play in developing minute contralateral rotation of the spine which is of course pivotal in getting that much needed 5 mph boost.

What a loser. So now I’m in the market for a new coach. One that hopefully has at least a baseline understanding of this absolutely basic, need to know material to play 4.0 tennis once a week at the park on the weekend
You are a real life Yossarian aren't you!
Bravo well done!
Dump the coach and post a 120fps video with correct lighting and ..... Profit!
 

zipplock

Hall of Fame
The guy seemed knowledgeable enough. Former college player turned open tournament guy. Occasionally wins one here and there. Came strongly recommended by a friend

But thanks to talk tennis, I knew what to look for

He started by asking me what I wanted to work on. I promptly said “my serve!” My wimpy, pitiful 110 mph flat serve up the T gets eaten up by the local park 4.0 GOATs. I need to bump that baby up to at least 115 in order to be competitive

After a few warm ups, I asked him about the power differential between pinpoint and platform serve stances. He told me to choose whichever was more comfortable

Whichever was more comfortable? This is 4.0 level tennis we’re talking about!

“You mean you can’t tell me the difference in length tension developed in the lower extremely kinetic chain between the two options?” I asked.

“No,” he replied (quite curtly, I’ll add)

“Jesus Christ, what are you doing!”

My exclamation was returned with a blank stare

“you mean to tell me you’re not capturing my serve with high speed video?” I asked.

“You want me to video you?”

“Well you can’t anymore! Look at the sun! Far too much motion blur will be present now for us to analyze ISR!” I yelled.

“Huh?” he retorted.

Not even 10 minutes had passed and I already knew this guy was a hack. He probably couldn’t even name the origin, insertion, action, innervation, and blood supply of the muscles involved in glenohumeral internal rotation, let alone have an informed discussion on the biomechanics of scapulohumeral rhythm! No way could he shed light on the importance of sternoclavicular crank shaft elevation in gross shoulder elevation ROM!

So I figured I’d give him one last chance to redeem himself

“I’ve got some hypomobilty in spinal segments T2-5,” I said. “Will that negatively impact my ability to develop a good stretch-shorten cycle and hit flat bombs?” I asked.

“What?”

“Will my lack of thoracic extension —“

“Just arch your back a bit and hit a serve. Any serve,” he said.

“Arch my back!”I exclaimed. “What the hell does that mean? We must speak in biomechanically my correct terms so we have a mutual understanding here. I’m talking about thoracic extension! Potentially limited by tight anterior ligamentous structures like the anterior longitudinal ligament and decreased arthrokinematic motion at the costovertebral joints —“

He left before I could educate him on the deep dynamic stabilizers of the back and the role such muscles as the semispinalis cervicis play in developing minute contralateral rotation of the spine which is of course pivotal in getting that much needed 5 mph boost.

What a loser. So now I’m in the market for a new coach. One that hopefully has at least a baseline understanding of this absolutely basic, need to know material to play 4.0 tennis once a week at the park on the weekend
You should definitely interview the next coach BEFORE agreeing to a lesson. Don't settle for anything less than the best :)
 
Sorry Paul Annecone didn't work out for u as a coach-- try Amelie Mauresmo, she did wonders for Bill Murray. Next coach u audition, give him a copy of "GRAY'S ANATOMY" prior to your lesson and tell him he will be tested--maybe read some Bill Tilden yourself, he wrote a few good tennis books.
 
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