Had an ugly mental game this week in doubles, need advice

[SouthernCourts]

Like a lot of people, I started out playing singles almost exclusively, starting at 3.0 last year and moving up to 3.5 this year, and playing so much with a good group of friends that we're having a ton of success at 3.5 and probably not too far off (a year or two) from 4.0, assuming we keep up the pace.

I'm on a really good spring team now that has designs on winning our league and going to states, and we have some extremely good singles players. It became clear to me, as the 5th or 6th best singles player, that I'd have to add value to my team as a doubles player, so I've been practicing and learning strategy, and it's paid off—I'm better at the net, I'm more consistent, and I'm "getting" doubles more than ever.

Now, that all said, I've come to believe that winning a doubles match with the right partner can be even better than winning a singles match because of the camaraderie, but on the flip side, losing with the wrong partner can be far more frustrating.

Which brings us to earlier this week—the guy I sometimes play with has a nice first serve that he can barely get in, tries to hit the hell out of every single ground stroke and often misses, has an annoying personality off the court, manages to make the wrong tactical decision on every big point, and generally gives no positive energy during the match, which I've come to believe is critical in close matches. (I'm a big one for high-fiving, encouragement, talking, etc., and I don't like when that element is missing.)

We lost this week in a very close match that we should have won, and while I'd love to blame this guy for everything, I was as bad as he was, and it was 100% because by the second game I had totally given in to my frustration at playing with him. I still fought hard and said nice things to him and went through the motions of being a good player, but in my head I was seething the entire time. It brought my level lower than it should be.

While serving at 5-all, 40-30 in the second set, I hit a nice flat serve that produced a very slow dink return right to net, easy putaway, and my partner reacted with surprise that it was coming to him at all. He hit the worst possible weak shot to their net man, who hit a drop shot to my side that I couldn't reach. Then my partner laughed, and I did something I NEVER do, which was to show my anger by just staring daggers at him for a long second and then turning my back. I couldn't believe that on our biggest point of the match, he wouldn't be ready. I know it doesn't sound like much, but my disdain was obvious...and that's not how I'm trying to behave in a match, especially to a teammate, in a situation that should be fun.

Needless to say, I then compounded the problem by double-faulting the game away, and we lost 7-5 to lose the match. I couldn't even look at the guy after the match, just got the hell out of there to go hang with my teammates.

I'm doing everything I can not to play with this guy again, but the broader question I have for you all is how you mentally deal with a doubles partner who is just not on your wavelength, and who plays frustrating tennis. I felt vaguely ashamed after the match that I couldn't keep my cool, be the bigger person, and find a way to fight for a win.

 

[Nacho]

Like a lot of people, I started out playing singles almost exclusively, starting at 3.0 last year and moving up to 3.5 this year, and playing so much with a good group of friends that we're having a ton of success at 3.5 and probably not too far off (a year or two) from 4.0, assuming we keep up the pace.

I'm on a really good spring team now that has designs on winning our league and going to states, and we have some extremely good singles players. It became clear to me, as the 5th or 6th best singles player, that I'd have to add value to my team as a doubles player, so I've been practicing and learning strategy, and it's paid off—I'm better at the net, I'm more consistent, and I'm "getting" doubles more than ever.

Now, that all said, I've come to believe that winning a doubles match with the right partner can be even better than winning a singles match because of the camaraderie, but on the flip side, losing with the wrong partner can be far more frustrating.

Which brings us to earlier this week—the guy I sometimes play with has a nice first serve that he can barely get in, tries to hit the hell out of every single ground stroke and often misses, has an annoying personality off the court, manages to make the wrong tactical decision on every big point, and generally gives no positive energy during the match, which I've come to believe is critical in close matches. (I'm a big one for high-fiving, encouragement, talking, etc., and I don't like when that element is missing.)

We lost this week in a very close match that we should have won, and while I'd love to blame this guy for everything, I was as bad as he was, and it was 100% because by the second game I had totally given in to my frustration at playing with him. I still fought hard and said nice things to him and went through the motions of being a good player, but in my head I was seething the entire time. It brought my level lower than it should be.

While serving at 5-all, 40-30 in the second set, I hit a nice flat serve that produced a very slow dink return right to net, easy putaway, and my partner reacted with surprise that it was coming to him at all. He hit the worst possible weak shot to their net man, who hit a drop shot to my side that I couldn't reach. Then my partner laughed, and I did something I NEVER do, which was to show my anger by just staring daggers at him for a long second and then turning my back. I couldn't believe that on our biggest point of the match, he wouldn't be ready. I know it doesn't sound like much, but my disdain was obvious...and that's not how I'm trying to behave in a match, especially to a teammate, in a situation that should be fun.

Needless to say, I then compounded the problem by double-faulting the game away, and we lost 7-5 to lose the match. I couldn't even look at the guy after the match, just got the hell out of there to go hang with my teammates.

I'm doing everything I can not to play with this guy again, but the broader question I have for you all is how you mentally deal with a doubles partner who is just not on your wavelength, and who plays frustrating tennis. I felt vaguely ashamed after the match that I couldn't keep my cool, be the bigger person, and find a way to fight for a win.

Ask for another partner....Or find someone you do gel with...

Problem in Rec. doubles is people are just out there to play and get exercise, so they have a "don't care" who they play with approach and often times don't realize they affect their partner. Seems you want to be more competitive, so an important part to playing good doubles is having someone you not just gel with personally, but understands how you play, what you can get too, where you are going to hit the ball, is encouraging etc...Sometimes takes a number of times playing with someone to get there, but you know when you have a good partner....

But to answer your question, when I am in a match where my partner may be affecting me, I try and do several things. First, if they are a weaker partner, then I will try and talk to them between every point to make sure they have confidence in where to go and what I am doing. If they don't like to communicate fine, at least I made the effort. I will then try to loosen my game a little, not go for anything big, stick with consistency, and make sure to reach out regardless between every point. I also won't get mad or frustrated, it is what it is, just want to get through and keep my body language upbeat. If they are about the same level, I just keep upbeat and my emotions in check, and then try to get through the match.

Then get off the court and make sure I don't play again with that person....

 

[esgee48]

Playing styles and personalities can clash. You can either change your game if partner is oblivious or can't change his game; or continue playing as usual and let the results go to Hades. Then, as stated, you try not to play with him, but against him because you know he is a basket case. There's this guy I play with occasionally. Cannot play net if his life depended on it. If I am his partner, It's 2 back, exchanging ground strokes, until he hits a great ground stroke, that I can sneak in on and volley away. If I play against him, he gets a sharply angled drop shot to bring him to the net, where he is a 'deer in the headlights.' At least he is better than the guy who can only volley and will not chase down his own OH, but expects you to get it and then ask why you are not at the net. It's all about choice and it is your choice to play with or against.

 

[sureshs]

The really good doubles players I have seen are so good at everything, including poaching, that as long as their partner gets the serve back and dinks his own serve in, they are still able to carry them to victory.

 

[OrangePower]

I'm doing everything I can not to play with this guy again, but the broader question I have for you all is how you mentally deal with a doubles partner who is just not on your wavelength, and who plays frustrating tennis. I felt vaguely ashamed after the match that I couldn't keep my cool, be the bigger person, and find a way to fight for a win.

Well, there's two parts to it: Their game, and their attitude/demeanor.

I try not to let it affect my attitude if my partner is not playing well or makes a bad error. We all have off days, we all have strengths and weaknesses in our game, etc. So part of the challenge of dubs is to adapt your tactics to how well you and your partner are playing, what's working, what isn't, etc.

The dealbreaker for me is a partner with a bad attitude, because there's not much you can do about that, and it takes all the fun out of playing for me. So in that case, I just try get through the match as best I can, and then will refuse to play with that person again. Fortunately there is no-one on my team that I feel that way about.

 

[SouthernCourts]

Well, there's two parts to it: Their game, and their attitude/demeanor.

I try not to let it affect my attitude if my partner is not playing well or makes a bad error. We all have off days, we all have strengths and weaknesses in our game, etc. So part of the challenge of dubs is to adapt your tactics to how well you and your partner are playing, what's working, what isn't, etc.

The dealbreaker for me is a partner with a bad attitude, because there's not much you can do about that, and it takes all the fun out of playing for me. So in that case, I just try get through the match as best I can, and then will refuse to play with that person again. Fortunately there is no-one on my team that I feel that way about.

That's exactly it. I had a blast playing in a 3.5 doubles match the week before with a 3.0 player who is still figuring out doubles, but had a great attitude. We played above ourselves and came very, very close to winning. The loss didn't bother me at all. When it's combined with bad attitude and an irksome personality, though, it drives me crazy. I think you're right in that you just have to endure and then keep yourself out of that situation.

 

[Booger]

the guy I sometimes play with has a nice first serve that he can barely get in, tries to hit the hell out of every single ground stroke and often misses, has an annoying personality off the court, manages to make the wrong tactical decision on every big point, and generally gives no positive energy during the match

lol this is literally at least half of all tennis players I've ever met, especially 3.5's for some reason. Face it - most people in this world are insufferable mouth breathers who have little purpose other than to take up space and inconvenience others. Tennis especially attracts those people.

I ask myself two questions:
1. Do I actually enjoy playing the game with this person?
2. Is this someone that I enjoy spending time with socially, despite them mugging it up?

If the answer to both of those is NO, it's time to drop them like that college girlfriend you had who "hates drama and just feels like one of the guys."

 

[sureshs]

These suggestions only work if you have a big pool to choose from. Remember that others are also saying some things about you behind your back. If you want to improve, you need people to play with. As you get better, the more motivated and better guys will seek you out, and it will become a positive feedback loop. If you keep filtering out people from the beginning, it will become a negative feedback loop. I have seen guys who kept complaining about every partner, and now they have ended up practicing serves by themselves on a far-away court.

 

[ZirkusAffe]

The really good doubles players I have seen are so good at everything, including poaching, that as long as their partner gets the serve back and dinks his own serve in, they are still able to carry them to victory.

Yep, usually they know how to adapt to their partner's strengths and weaknesses without scheming a devised plan with their partner. Like being able to plan poach they also recognize that if the partner is struggling with a particular server to reposition accordingly including both back. With that said, some people are so unpredictable and erratic there might not be hope until they develop their game for doubles.
Call me crazy but I don't feel that 'hitting the hell out of every single ground stroke' is necessary in 3.5 doubles to win.. maybe singles but getting to the net and controlling it seems to be a more viable sustainable endgame. Not getting a decent percentage of 1st serves can be an issue as well if the second serve is weak putting you on defense on your own serve that combo platter could be a tough one to overcome but if you almost won then there is a bright spot to say 'even with all that stacked against us we almost pulled it out'.. being that close means it could be a few points going your way and you squeak out a ugly but a victory nevertheless.. which then would we still be having this discussion??

 

[tennis tom]

I'm doing everything I can not to play with this guy again, but the broader question I have for you all is how you mentally deal with a doubles partner who is just not on your wavelength, and who plays frustrating tennis.

Grin and bear it--or bare it. Develop a default attitude for your partners and say and treat them all the same, even if they aren't on the same page with you. If they can't or won't communicate with you then all you can do is control your side of the court. Like it says on the walls of Wimbledon, "treat the winners and losers all the same"--then dump him and never play with him again.

 

[Dartagnan64]

Definitely sounds like a clash of personalities. He's probably saying that you are wound to tight and need to take chill pills. Everyone is different.

I know there are people I love playing with and We play well together. I also have people I love playing with and we play poorly together. Then there are people I hate playing with largely because they either don't care enough or care too much. There's always the guy that's just about exercise and not about score and never rises to the occasion of big points because no points are really big to them. Then there's the guy that thinks every game is his audition for WImbledon and will throw rackets, lambaste partners, hook opponents. Those two extremes I can do without. Fortunately I don't see that much at my club and most people are nice with just the right amount of competitiveness for me.

 

[MisterP]

Make a request to your captain to play with someone you enjoy playing with. Basically saying you don't want to play with the choker without actually saying it.

 

[newpball]

Like a lot of people, I started out playing singles almost exclusively, starting at 3.0 last year and moving up to 3.5 this year, and playing so much with a good group of friends that we're having a ton of success at 3.5 and probably not too far off (a year or two) from 4.0, assuming we keep up the pace.

I'm on a really good spring team now that has designs on winning our league and going to states, and we have some extremely good singles players. It became clear to me, as the 5th or 6th best singles player, that I'd have to add value to my team as a doubles player, so I've been practicing and learning strategy, and it's paid off—I'm better at the net, I'm more consistent, and I'm "getting" doubles more than ever.

Now, that all said, I've come to believe that winning a doubles match with the right partner can be even better than winning a singles match because of the camaraderie, but on the flip side, losing with the wrong partner can be far more frustrating.

Which brings us to earlier this week—the guy I sometimes play with has a nice first serve that he can barely get in, tries to hit the hell out of every single ground stroke and often misses, has an annoying personality off the court, manages to make the wrong tactical decision on every big point, and generally gives no positive energy during the match, which I've come to believe is critical in close matches. (I'm a big one for high-fiving, encouragement, talking, etc., and I don't like when that element is missing.)

We lost this week in a very close match that we should have won, and while I'd love to blame this guy for everything, I was as bad as he was, and it was 100% because by the second game I had totally given in to my frustration at playing with him. I still fought hard and said nice things to him and went through the motions of being a good player, but in my head I was seething the entire time. It brought my level lower than it should be.

While serving at 5-all, 40-30 in the second set, I hit a nice flat serve that produced a very slow dink return right to net, easy putaway, and my partner reacted with surprise that it was coming to him at all. He hit the worst possible weak shot to their net man, who hit a drop shot to my side that I couldn't reach. Then my partner laughed, and I did something I NEVER do, which was to show my anger by just staring daggers at him for a long second and then turning my back. I couldn't believe that on our biggest point of the match, he wouldn't be ready. I know it doesn't sound like much, but my disdain was obvious...and that's not how I'm trying to behave in a match, especially to a teammate, in a situation that should be fun.

Needless to say, I then compounded the problem by double-faulting the game away, and we lost 7-5 to lose the match. I couldn't even look at the guy after the match, just got the hell out of there to go hang with my teammates.

I'm doing everything I can not to play with this guy again, but the broader question I have for you all is how you mentally deal with a doubles partner who is just not on your wavelength, and who plays frustrating tennis. I felt vaguely ashamed after the match that I couldn't keep my cool, be the bigger person, and find a way to fight for a win.

After reading this I think you need a small break from tennis and think about eh, say, world hunger or so to get things back in perspective.

And by the way laughing is healthy, even when you lose!

 

[penpal]

When playing with a partner with whom I'm not clicking, I focus as much as possible on actions I can take to win points and treat my partner almost as simply another piece on the chess board. Just as I analyze the opponents and try to figure out their strengths/weaknesses/tendencies and devise appropriate strategies, I focus on my partner's SWTs and devise strategies. Essentially, I give up on the emotional aspect of the partnership and focus exclusively on my strategic goals. It's almost a singles mindset, and usually allows me to feel good in that I did everything within my power to give us a chance at success, short of leading a psychoanalysis session .

Except the one time ... when I was playing with a guy at the 3.5 level who, after I shanked a poach attempt, told me to just let everything through to him. I did. We lost badly. I felt pretty good despite the loss. We didn't play together again.

 

[TimeToPlaySets]

I try very hard not to be that guy who blasts everything long.
That gets very tiresome for the partner.
I'd rather push than lose every point before getting into the point.

 

[MathGeek]

I think you should let the capt know how you are feeling and thinking about the situation, ask for a new partner, but respect his decision and try and adjust the best you can if you are stuck for the season.

I'm sticking to tourney's this year, in part, to only play with doubles partners I get along well with. I've made lemonade with a few lemons over the years, but looking forward to a year or two without having to.

 

[kevrol]

OP it sounds like you shouldn't play with this guy anymore. However maybe you shouldn't play competitively at all if during a 3.5 tennis match you're staring daggers into your partner for blowing a shot.

 

[Off The Wall]

While serving at 5-all, 40-30 in the second set, I hit a nice flat serve that produced a very slow dink return right to net, easy putaway, and my partner reacted with surprise that it was coming to him at all. He hit the worst possible weak shot to their net man, who hit a drop shot to my side that I couldn't reach. Then my partner laughed, and I did something I NEVER do, which was to show my anger by just staring daggers at him for a long second and then turning my back. I couldn't believe that on our biggest point of the match, he wouldn't be ready. I know it doesn't sound like much, but my disdain was obvious...and that's not how I'm trying to behave in a match, especially to a teammate, in a situation that should be fun..

Aside: You were complicit in losing that point. As soon as you see the ball is heading to your partner at the net, you should move to the net to join him. His lousy shot and subsequent drop shot would then be easily handled by you. Any shot would be handled by your team.

Still, if you don't like your partner it is no fun. Find/request a new one.