How can I tell if my son is ready to play in the tournament?

[douglas168]

My son is 9 and has group lessons for about year and half now. We thought it would be a good idea to let him have some tournament experience like other kids in his group lessons. So he played in 2 tournaments and lost all matches. He was pretty sad about the result but I told him to cheer up and keep working hard.

Now, I don't want to be a pushy parent that keep sending him to tournament if he is not ready. How can I tell if my son is ready to play in the tournament? What should I say when he wins or more importantly when he lose so not to destroy his confidence and get him to movitate to play better?

Appreciate the help,
Douglas

 

[TennisCoachFLA]

My son is 9 and has group lessons for about year and half now. We thought it would be a good idea to let him have some tournament experience like other kids in his group lessons. So he played in 2 tournaments and lost all matches. He was pretty sad about the result but I told him to cheer up and keep working hard.

Now, I don't want to be a pushy parent that keep sending him to tournament if he is not ready. How can I tell if my son is ready to play in the tournament? What should I say when he wins or more importantly when he lose so not to destroy his confidence and get him to movitate to play better?

Appreciate the help,
Douglas

Dad....only you really know your kid. But the rule of thumb is that they should win at an early age at a 1:1 or 2:1 ratio. Thats just a general rule coaches through the years have yacked about....but all kids are different.

The theory is that the kids need some success to keep their confidence up. If they lose all the time or win all the time, an adjustment in competition level can be made. But again, only you can judge how your boy bounces back from losing by working harder or wants to quit tennis.

The key is for you to just be dad....win or lose. Don't get all jacked for every win or sullen after every loss. Be dad and let the boy react as he will, then support him.

I just read a nice article in Tennis Life magazine about letting kids work through their in match self talk and post match reactions on their own rather than the parent leading the way. Over the long term, the kids who work it out for themselves are better off.

 

[tenniscrazed]

My son is 9 and has group lessons for about year and half now. We thought it would be a good idea to let him have some tournament experience like other kids in his group lessons. So he played in 2 tournaments and lost all matches. He was pretty sad about the result but I told him to cheer up and keep working hard.

Now, I don't want to be a pushy parent that keep sending him to tournament if he is not ready. How can I tell if my son is ready to play in the tournament? What should I say when he wins or more importantly when he lose so not to destroy his confidence and get him to movitate to play better?

Appreciate the help,
Douglas

Set up practice matches with those in his group or other groups. He will then gain match experience. Set up a round robin lunch with other families with each week a different family hosting. He will become a better tourney player as a result of it.

 

[chalkflewup]

Dad....only you really know your kid. But the rule of thumb is that they should win at an early age at a 1:1 or 2:1 ratio. Thats just a general rule coaches through the years have yacked about....but all kids are different.

The theory is that the kids need some success to keep their confidence up. If they lose all the time or win all the time, an adjustment in competition level can be made. But again, only you can judge how your boy bounces back from losing by working harder or wants to quit tennis.

The key is for you to just be dad....win or lose. Don't get all jacked for every win or sullen after every loss. Be dad and let the boy react as he will, then support him.

I just read a nice article in Tennis Life magazine about letting kids work through their in match self talk and post match reactions on their own rather than the parent leading the way. Over the long term, the kids who work it out for themselves are better off.

Great advice. You're role as a tennis dad will change as your kid's game evolves. In the early years it's critical for you to be his/her compass -- finding the right tournaments with an emphasis on the fun part.

Good luck and enjoy the ride.

 

[GATennisMom]

When they are just starting particular in the 10 and under - i think you have to not just look at the percentage wins but how close the matches are and make sure its the right level tournament. My son started playing his first tournaments in the 10s in January and he only won a third of his matches in the first few months, but there was a 1/3 he was getting beat in two sets fairly easy and 1/3 he lost in the third set tie breakers or very close two setters. He just did not have the experience and he needed to learn some things for himself that he had been told many times by his coach and us, but really needed to figure it out for himself in a match. Now he is at about the 50% mark and i know with him moving forward that will go up the more and more experience he has. As long as your son is having fun and not getting beat really bad everytime, there are some wonderful things they can really learn. The 10s for us are about allowing our son to learn and grow both in tennis and in life. Good luck to you and your son!

 

[GATennisMom]

When they are just starting particular in the 10 and under - i think you have to not just look at the percentage wins but how close the matches are and make sure its the right level tournament. My son started playing his first tournaments in the 10s in January and he only won a third of his matches in the first few months, but there was a 1/3 he was getting beat in two sets fairly easy and 1/3 he lost in the third set tie breakers or very close two setters. He just did not have the experience and he needed to learn some things for himself that he had been told many times by his coach and us, but really needed to figure it out for himself in a match. Now he is at about the 50% mark and i know with him moving forward that will go up the more and more experience he has. As long as your son is having fun and not getting beat really bad everytime, there are some wonderful things they can really learn. The 10s for us are about allowing our son to learn and grow both in tennis and in life. Good luck to you and your son!

 

[momtogrif]

My son just started playing in the 10s when he was 10(last April), after having about 9 months of privates and group clinics. He lost right out of the gate but after 2 tournaments he came out winning and even won 1st place in a level 6 tournament. He's been playing tournaments now for 13 months and has moved into the 12s and is currently ranked in the top 20. He's only ranked this high, though, because he's hooked on playing tournaments and they've become his social scene, LOL!

On the other hand, he has a friend who started playing tournaments at the same time as him(they're almost exactly the same age, too) and this boy has maybe one won match in a USTA tournament in a whole year. His mother even pulled him out of tournaments back in February, but he tried again last month and lost both his rounds. Yet, he's a determined boy and LOVES tennis so he just keeps plugging along.

Like TennisCoach in FL says, only you know your child. What can they emotionally handle? How committed are they to improving or are they just playing to win? How committed are YOU to the cost and travel of tournaments?

My son has grown a LOT by getting out and playing matches against friends. He plays girls that he is evenly matched against and boys, when we can find them and get together with them all! The most important thing is that they get match play and lots of it. So, I'd suggest getting phone numbers of other kids and start talking to parents and set up some play time. Tell them you'll bring the Gatorade if they bring the food bars, LOL!

My son will even fill in with the men's doubles leagues if they need a 4th player! He'll hit with you if you're 80 or if you're 8. If you want to get on a court, he'll be there with you! That's just what the passion of tennis does to him. He loves the sport, but moreover, he is a happy kid on court. He is pleasant to the other kids and he has a great attitude about winning or losing. Ok, sorry for the book here! Just keep those lines of communication open and make sure you're checking in regularly with your kid to make sure you guys are on the same page as a family. It will all fall into place as you go along. Good luck!