I have this little girl age 7 who has been coming to me for instruction for about 18 months. She is pretty athletic, but she begins asking how long till the lesson is over about 5 minutes into lesson. She tells me she doesn't like tennis. Her parents want her to learn to play tennis. At age 7, she seems to have the attitude of rebellious 14 year old who likes to challenge me. It is if she likes to tell me she doesn't like tennis. What would you do?
I have this little kid...
- Thread starter Clay Mize
- Start date
O
OhYes
Guest
Try to make it more fun to her, if possible. She is just a child.
I hear you. My specialty is children. Never really had this problem.
I have not and that is sort of why I am asking here. I was wondering if I should tell them. I would be surprised though if she has not already told them. Lots of kids say they don't like things and the parents push them through that phase till they get more skill and then they learn they like the sport. I think there is more to how to handle it than just quitting.
TheGhostOfAgassi
Talk Tennis Guru
Sometimes kids needs that extra push. If I was her parent I would have made her go training for another 6 months and then see what she thinks.
My son was sceptical to swimming and I pushed him a bit. Now he loves it and he can now look back at that experience and learn that sometimes hard work gives joy later. A learning Ive transferred into other aspects of his life as well.
ChaelAZ
G.O.A.T.
My niece is exactly that same at the same age. I've worked with her for a bit now, but we only actually do 10 minutes of actually tennis(ish) drills for racquet technique development and the rest is just challenging her with games and footwork stuff. Took a bit but she is getting more competitive and comes wanting to "show me" she can do better, which essentially is her self-improving. Not so much worried about anything but keeping her interest. She'll develop the rest in time. Or at least she will understand making an effort to improve for whatever sport she goes in.
r2473
G.O.A.T.
I would tell them and then ask her parents what they want from the lessons / how they'd like the lessons to be structured (fun games, drilling technique, etc).
Well, at age 7 there is only so much you can do based on the motor skills etc. of a child that age. You can only do so much variety at that age.
Yeah, I have several kids that age. Some of them eat it up and want more after an hour. Not this kid.
I agree. How would you approach the parent?
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OhYes
Guest
Yeah you are probably right. I haven't push my son and daughter an they are early quitting sports.
There is only a small percentage of kids still playing organized sports by the 10th grade. My guess is because they didn't develop athletic skills early enough and those who did get all the opportunities.
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OhYes
Guest
Well I can't tell about that, not trainer in any sport for kids like yourself
must take your word for it.
The Vitamin L
Semi-Pro
If she has to be there I recommend doing some athletic foundation training. Especially when they're that young their fine motor skills aren't fully developed so it's best to vary it up and work on their body awareness and balance. Examples would be catching the ball and shuffling, ladder hopscotch, shift, tag, etc. If she is bored of shadow swinging or hitting balls hand fed to her you can also try a forehand progression that I usually do with kids and even beginning adults. Red junior balls/foam balls would be ideal for this. Let the ball bounce, then have her pop the ball up gently to her eye height to work on her control with a flat racquet face (she can use two hands if one hand is too difficult), let the ball bounce, then she can pop it up again, bounce again, pop it up, and repeat. Once she can do that, have a cone or any target and have her try to land the ball on the cone while doing this game. After that you can have two cones lined across from eachother, one belonging to you and the other to her. Take turns popping the ball up rally style until she hits your cone. Once she can do that then position the cones with the net in the middle and then boom you two are rallying and having fun. At least. I hope so haha
user92626
G.O.A.T.
I always want to try to apply the theory of rewarding. After you have made it relatively stress-free and semi-fun, have you tried to challenge her to achieve XYZ and win a pizza? a movie ticket? Or whatever she's into.
I gave this idea to a friend who has a teen boy trying to learning and he's like your kid, but this friend told me that he had tried $$ rewards, video games, etc with no success. The teen always wants to quit and stay home and play video games. I asked my friend how his son already got everything. He said he had already bought everything for his son, gives him allowance.
Well, pretty hard to try this theory with a kid that already has everything at his beck and call.
I gave this idea to a friend who has a teen boy trying to learning and he's like your kid, but this friend told me that he had tried $$ rewards, video games, etc with no success. The teen always wants to quit and stay home and play video games. I asked my friend how his son already got everything. He said he had already bought everything for his son, gives him allowance.
Well, pretty hard to try this theory with a kid that already has everything at his beck and call.
TheGhostOfAgassi
Talk Tennis Guru
Tell the parent that all kids got times they want to quit.
Then tell them about her strength in tennis and how it can be good for her self confidence for example.
That might be the best approach
This child occasionally has a semi private with another of my students. This other student is great one on one, but when I mix her with this kid who says she doesn't like tennis, the lesson goes off the rails and getting keeping their attention becomes a chore.
NuBas
Legend
That's strange, I would think the good one would be motivation to the one who doesn't wanna play. I would think that kids enjoy each others company.
NuBas
Legend
My son was like this a bit. Once, he got to compete and see other kids, he changed.
TheGhostOfAgassi
Talk Tennis Guru
To learn some discipline at early age to get results doesnt hurt.
To bother to push a bit is love too.
Look at all these successful tennis players, all with pushy parents into tennis. Its impossible for a child that young to find the will that every practice is fun.
Even for us grown ups its like that, its not always fun. But for a child its not really in them that they understand that things can get results later. Kids just play for fun, but I think from that age they can start to think that practice and development in fun.
My son is very competitive, he just wants to win. Its still sort of a game in his mind, I can see he is trying to copy other swimmers and he sort of pretends he wins the Olympics or something. I wasnt so into swimming myself, but I understood he had a talent because he just loves the water. I had to teach him to swim. In one week I had teach him all I knew about swimming. I just had to as he has no fear for the water and wanted to jump in every water he saw.
I had him in a group with young teachers, maybe 5 kids. I showed my son videoes of swimmers on youtube so he could start to identify himself as a swimmer and look up to Phelbs or whatever.
He was training 4 times a week from age 6. By his own will he wanted to show up earlier so he could do 30 min laps before training started. He also wanted to go to the pool days he wasnt training. He was training so much I was worried it was not healthy for that young. And every lap he took was some kind of an imaginary competition for him.
The imaginary aspects in this is important for a child. But when I started to teach him swimming his focus was so bad, as he only wanted to play in the water. It wasnt easy for me being that strict. In my own mind I had to play my own game to go trough it, I imagined myself as a strict Russian coach. lol
But it gave results.
A balance between feeding a childs imagination and discipline.
That is a cool game. Thanks for sharing.
Competition might be the answer. Thanks for posting this.
They do like one another's company, but the difficult one dominant and a year older, while the younger one wants older's approval and folllows her lead.
Excellent post and encouraging.It is ideal to have a kid that driven with something he has fallen in love with. I have so many parents trying to find the sport their child will love, but they can't seem to find one. You are blessed.
There is a fundamental flaw with commercial instruction.
The biggest flaw is you need the money.
Rewind the clock. Go back to history. Time for some Kung Fu lessons.
Kung Fu is originally taught father to son down the lineage.
Then it's taught teacher to student or more correctly disciples.
Then it's taught commercially.
Teacher to disciple is actually stricter than father to son.
Here's how you get into Kung Fu school.
When things are taught commercially, it's all watered down.
"The biggest flaw is you need the money." You are at their beck and call. They call the shots.
That tradition continues to today. I know it's fiction. But, fiction is oral history. Oral history contains a genetic memory.
I wouldn't teach for money. I don't need the money from teaching anything. I'd tell her to "F*** off."
At age 7, they are not tall enough to play ping-pong (table tennis) (maybe they are tall enough with the growth hormones in the food), let alone bigger tennis.
Here's how I would do it. You want to learn tennis? I'll put up a ping pong table. When you can beat 90% of the kids your age, I'll teach you tennis. Oh, I won't teach you ping pong. That's the "wax on, wax off" trick. When you learned "wax on, wax off", you already learned Karate (Kàrátề to be more precise). When you can beat 90% of ping pong players your age, you already know tennis. Until then, they can f*** off.
The biggest flaw is you need the money.
Rewind the clock. Go back to history. Time for some Kung Fu lessons.
Kung Fu is originally taught father to son down the lineage.
Then it's taught teacher to student or more correctly disciples.
Then it's taught commercially.
Teacher to disciple is actually stricter than father to son.
Here's how you get into Kung Fu school.
When things are taught commercially, it's all watered down.
"The biggest flaw is you need the money." You are at their beck and call. They call the shots.
That tradition continues to today. I know it's fiction. But, fiction is oral history. Oral history contains a genetic memory.
I wouldn't teach for money. I don't need the money from teaching anything. I'd tell her to "F*** off."
At age 7, they are not tall enough to play ping-pong (table tennis) (maybe they are tall enough with the growth hormones in the food), let alone bigger tennis.
Here's how I would do it. You want to learn tennis? I'll put up a ping pong table. When you can beat 90% of the kids your age, I'll teach you tennis. Oh, I won't teach you ping pong. That's the "wax on, wax off" trick. When you learned "wax on, wax off", you already learned Karate (Kàrátề to be more precise). When you can beat 90% of ping pong players your age, you already know tennis. Until then, they can f*** off.
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rogerroger917
Hall of Fame
Only issue is ping pong is not tennis.
Ping pong is table tennis. It's a miniature version of tennis. Like Mini-Me is the miniature clone of Dr. Evil. Everything in ping pong is in tennis and vice versa.
rogerroger917
Hall of Fame
Wrong.
SystemicAnomaly
Bionic Poster
Perhaps not. But if it wasn't for ping pong, I may have never picked up tennis. Developed my visual tracking skills, hand-eye coordination and some other athletic skills during my pre-teen and teen years. I was in college and nearly 21 when I tried tennis in earnest. My table tennis experience (w/o formal training) helped me master court tennis.
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SystemicAnomaly
Bionic Poster
@TennisBro
This can work quite for well for some kids. Or even just some hitting sessions, with little or no instruction, with someone who is a bit competitive and close to the level of your bored/problem child.
I had one 8 yo girl that I was teaching recently that was somewhat like yours. Decent athlete and coming along with tennis but her focus wandered a lot during the lesson and she sometimes seemed anxious to end the lesson after 20-30 mins. In her case, I believe that her dad, a perfectionist, was sucking all the fun out of the game for her. She wasn't too had when her dad wan't around but was less focused when he showed up to pick help pick up balls. He would often admonish her for her lack of attention. Unfortunately, he was her only hitting partner outside of class. Her older sister (not my student) didn't have the patience to play with her and help her out. Dad would push her and it appeared that she did not enjoy it very much -- certainly not as much my sessions with her when he was not around.
She did have the opportunity once to hit with one of my youngest students who was very competitive for her age. The older girl became very focused & competitive. She thoroughly enjoyed hitting against the younger girl. Unfortunately, her dad was not there at the time to see this. I told him about the hitting session but all he ever saw was his daughter unfocused and seemingly disinterested in tennis. I could not convince her parents that she needed someone other than the dad to hit with. He pulled her from class and she stopped playing tennis. What a waste.
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This can work quite for well for some kids. Or even just some hitting sessions, with little or no instruction, with someone who is a bit competitive and close to the level of your bored/problem child.
I had one 8 yo girl that I was teaching recently that was somewhat like yours. Decent athlete and coming along with tennis but her focus wandered a lot during the lesson and she sometimes seemed anxious to end the lesson after 20-30 mins. In her case, I believe that her dad, a perfectionist, was sucking all the fun out of the game for her. She wasn't too had when her dad wan't around but was less focused when he showed up to pick help pick up balls. He would often admonish her for her lack of attention. Unfortunately, he was her only hitting partner outside of class. Her older sister (not my student) didn't have the patience to play with her and help her out. Dad would push her and it appeared that she did not enjoy it very much -- certainly not as much my sessions with her when he was not around.
She did have the opportunity once to hit with one of my youngest students who was very competitive for her age. The older girl became very focused & competitive. She thoroughly enjoyed hitting against the younger girl. Unfortunately, her dad was not there at the time to see this. I told him about the hitting session but all he ever saw was his daughter unfocused and seemingly disinterested in tennis. I could not convince her parents that she needed someone other than the dad to hit with. He pulled her from class and she stopped playing tennis. What a waste.
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SystemicAnomaly
Bionic Poster
As a coach or a parent, you can only push or try to inspire so much. At some point, the desire/drive has to come from within (the student). Some years back, I had one 13 yo girl who possessed an incredible athletic ability. In her first 2 lessons she was picking up things I was teaching her faster than anyone I had seen before. I told her mom that she could potentially play Div 1 tennis (or better) when she got to college. Sadly, after a few lessons, her interest waned. And she never practiced. After 4+ months of classes, she was no better than she was after the first few classes.
Her mom told me that the very same thing had happened previously with martial arts. This girl's taekwondo instructor was convinced that she had the potential to be an Olympic athlete. But the girl lost interest after a short time. Last I heard she was involved with color guard in high school rather than competing in sports. What a waste of an amazing athletic talent.
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Her mom told me that the very same thing had happened previously with martial arts. This girl's taekwondo instructor was convinced that she had the potential to be an Olympic athlete. But the girl lost interest after a short time. Last I heard she was involved with color guard in high school rather than competing in sports. What a waste of an amazing athletic talent.
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Traffic
Hall of Fame
Some parents in our club know that I have a son on the varsity team headed for State. I also have a 12y/o daughter that is just average in the class. So I often get asked questions about training programs for kids or when is it the right time and so on and so forth.
For a 7y/o, I've often told parents to make things fun for them. Private coaching sessions is no fun unless they love tennis and they want to accel in it. Group classes are fun. Playing with friends is fun. Having an adult tell you what to do or worse, tell you what you are doing wrong is instant don't like.
Semi-private lessons might work better if there is another kid about similar age/level.
But, as a coach, that's what you are paid to do. As a parent, I can say the exact same thing, but somehow, coming from a coach is better.
We selected one of the coaches in the club that seemed to have a way with kids. He made it fun, but still yelled at them. For many kids, it works. But not for all. But again, this is something that good coaches figure out.
And quite frankly, parents can push too hard. They can burn out kids that could possibly love the sport. So throwing it back to the parents will most likely yield that parent going to another coach or club or pushing their kids too hard (they probably don't know how to handle their kids either...where do you think the kids attitude stems from?) so the end result is a loss of business.
For a 7y/o, I've often told parents to make things fun for them. Private coaching sessions is no fun unless they love tennis and they want to accel in it. Group classes are fun. Playing with friends is fun. Having an adult tell you what to do or worse, tell you what you are doing wrong is instant don't like.
Semi-private lessons might work better if there is another kid about similar age/level.
But, as a coach, that's what you are paid to do. As a parent, I can say the exact same thing, but somehow, coming from a coach is better.
We selected one of the coaches in the club that seemed to have a way with kids. He made it fun, but still yelled at them. For many kids, it works. But not for all. But again, this is something that good coaches figure out.
And quite frankly, parents can push too hard. They can burn out kids that could possibly love the sport. So throwing it back to the parents will most likely yield that parent going to another coach or club or pushing their kids too hard (they probably don't know how to handle their kids either...where do you think the kids attitude stems from?) so the end result is a loss of business.
Oh, man, I don't know where to start on this one. Feels as this was me, the dad who pushes. My son, similarly, is out of focus at times. He even forgets the score when we hit it off with a (practice) set together; he's forgot the score in his formal match before too. I unfortunately sense a degree of some sort of psychological issue there. Call it a stress factor! What's important to say on the topic is that kids need to see their peers compete with them as well as they should see the capabilities other kids of their age have in varieties of areas. I'd say the challenge in both the physical where kids experience how the game at their level can be played and intellectual areas where they can observe how attention is working is invaluable greatly. Worth noticing is, however, that some kids and their parents have an enormous ego that spoils the process of development and/or cooperation which is why they refuse to accept assistance or participate in playing with other kids together.
The limit what one can do is so obvious in my case. Both, my son and I are great examples of that. As for the talent, kids who can naturally show the ability to participate in the sport are truly amazing and a waste if parents do see that. When a kid develops in multiple sports, takes a break from one, and then comes back to show that he/she has not lost the ability, this young individual has something to offer. But then, when a kid keeps switching focus to other sports (not taking one seriously), the young fella's just filling in the time for his/her parents (I think).
coupergear
Professional
I'm not really sure what the problem is. So she starts watching the clock? Is she disruptive? Not listening? Distracting other kids? Not doing the drills? Not working? From your post it seems like you are not really caring to change your lessons, fair enough, so is it a major issue if one kid isn't totally jazzed?
It may or may not be a major problem. Depends on a few circumstances, i'd say. One is the expectations from parents/kids; another one may be the skills/talents the kids have. Sure, the coach, methods and/or the environment may be another positive or negative side of the kids' feelings for the practice but if we don't look at the whole picture, we won't be able to approach the troublesome students appropriately. Kids that often look at the time during practices are more likely problematic for their lack of focus and commitment.
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