I`m 30 years old tomorrow...

  • Thread starter TheMagicianOfPrecision
  • Start date
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
When I was young I thought 30 was very old, it doesnt seem like that long ago I turned 20...Tomorrow I turn 30:shock:
When you are 30 you are supposed to have a family and kids in most cultures, although I love my life without it. I have accomplished some of the things i should, i have travelled the world for 5 years playing pro-tennis, ive worked fulltime as a tennis coach for 5 years, i have a nice condo,a sweet wonderful dog,nice friends, people that I really care about. Just havent found the "right" one, in order to find the right one you have too try out a few,right? Oh well...anyone recognize these symptoms?
Have a nice day everyone!

Freddi
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Power Player

Talk Tennis Guru
I'm your age and Im still single. A lot of my friends are too. We all love it.

I am the same as you except I traveled the country as a musician and now am back to tennis again. Once you have adventures like that I think it changes things. You see sides of life that most people will not and your standards change too.
 

max

Legend
I learned, to my dismay, that it's possible for one to wait too long to get married. Just a thought; this may or may not be of help.
 

ASL

Banned
Surely after travelling the world for five years playing tennis you must of found someone?
 

brad1730

Rookie
I waited until I was 37 to get married. By that time, I really knew what was right for me. I'm 46 now, have 3 kids and couldn't be happier. The key for me was to know what I wanted, and to cut off relationships that weren't working. It's surprising how long you can stay in a relationship that is OK, but you know it won't work forever.

And Happy Birthday!
 

atatu

Legend
When I was young I thought 30 was very old, it doesnt seem like that long ago I turned 20...Tomorrow I turn 30:shock:
When you are 30 you are supposed to have a family and kids in most cultures, although I love my life without it. I have accomplished some of the things i should, i have travelled the world for 5 years playing pro-tennis, ive worked fulltime as a tennis coach for 5 years, i have a nice condo,a sweet wonderful dog,nice friends, people that I really care about. Just havent found the "right" one, in order to find the right one you have too try out a few,right? Oh well...anyone recognize these symptoms?
Have a nice day everyone!

Freddi
Are you still thinking of coming to the States to teach ?
 

malakas

Banned
I feel old at 21.

Compared to my friends I seem like a 40 year old already at times.
me too...

Strange I thought that in Sweden you hadn't these social pressures and standards to fill in.30 is nothing more than 20 plus.No need to worry.:p

oh..and happy birthday!!!:)
 
Last edited:
I am 26 and kind of feel those symptoms but not really. Just a few decades ago it was like everyone got married before they were 25. These days its almost the norm now to marry later. With the squeeze of the middle class and people spending more years in school, its hard to be financially stable to start traditional families, but that also depends where you live.

My parents never got married until they were 33. My dad told me many stories when he was in his 20's how to play multiple women and never let them know you have a day off and all that. He would get rid of those women when they started talking about getting married after a year like thats all thats on their minds. He mentioned its like they are in competition with their siblings to have kids. My mom's parents since my mom was the last of 3 sisters to get married they thought she wouldnt get married. The irony is my parents have the longest lasting marriage of all of them.

By contrast, some 30 year olds are already on their second and third marriages these days. There are also some couples that have been together forever but don't get married because they don't believe the legal and religious concepts are relevant these days although there are some social benefits to actually be legally married.
 

mtommer

Hall of Fame
Well OP, as you said you played pro tennis etc. That isn't what the "normal" population does. At any rate, I'm not married either nor do I ever plan on doing so. It does put you at odds with many around you. You kind of just have to grin and bear it. That you have friends around you who understand helps. So....
happy birfday and enjoy being 30.
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
Wow! I didnt expect that many replies, thanks too all who replied! But my birthday is tomorrow (19th):)
Too answer some of the questions: I walk my dog of course, sometimes a friend off mine helps me out. Well, when i travelled the world playing I was 20-25 years old, i guess that answers why i didnt find anyone at that time.
My ranking was 970 in singles and around 1000 in doubles.
Ive beaten Andreas Vinciguerra,Alexander Hartman,Kyle Dopplet.
Yes, im still looking for work in USA down the line...not right now.
I mean...sure i could have married by now and had kids (was close a few times) but at this point, thats not for me. I like freedom, when i wanna have company, i get some company, but not day in and day out...That would drive me crazy.
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
me too...

Strange I thought that in Sweden you hadn't these social pressures and standards to fill in.30 is nothing more than 20 plus.No need to worry.:p

oh..and happy birthday!!!:)
Sweden doesnt have those "social pressures and standards"
But I look at childhood-friends of mine who are married, already developing a beer-belly with 2-3 kids hanging in their arms 24/7...
Thanx!:)
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
I'm your age and Im still single. A lot of my friends are too. We all love it.

I am the same as you except I traveled the country as a musician and now am back to tennis again. Once you have adventures like that I think it changes things. You see sides of life that most people will not and your standards change too.
I really liked your reply, thanx man!
 

jrod

Hall of Fame
When I was young I thought 30 was very old, it doesnt seem like that long ago I turned 20...Tomorrow I turn 30:shock:
When you are 30 you are supposed to have a family and kids in most cultures, although I love my life without it. I have accomplished some of the things i should, i have travelled the world for 5 years playing pro-tennis, ive worked fulltime as a tennis coach for 5 years, i have a nice condo,a sweet wonderful dog,nice friends, people that I really care about. Just havent found the "right" one, in order to find the right one you have too try out a few,right? Oh well...anyone recognize these symptoms?
Have a nice day everyone!

Freddi
You have no idea as to how damn lucky you are. I wouldn't change a thing.

Oh, almost forgot, Happy Birthday!
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
You have no idea as to how damn lucky you are. I wouldn't change a thing.

Oh, almost forgot, Happy Birthday!
Thanx for ur reply! Yeah well im not complaining or so...just wrote down a few thoughts, my b-day is tomorrow but thanx!:)
 

40fifteen

New User
Happy bithday OP,
that is a great thread and somewhat I can relate too with it except i travelled for studies and then mid 20's entreprenurial venture start up which is on cruise control now and no more requires me to be on my toes trotting around the globe.
while all this happened so quickly for me , things around did change fast too.
99% of the Peers , friends, cousins you name it all settled down with their better halves, bellies and kids. That did make me question my status as a bachelor after the age of 26..its been 3 years now ...heading into my thirties next year, been twice very closed to getting married but just didnt....

now that i look back all i can say is am very satisfied , no regrets and very worthwhile of the way i have led my life. I plan to settle down , i want to but defintily not for the sake of it, with the right one as you put it. so its kind of indefinite but as said earlier no regrets and i believe i will end up living happily ever after (ofcourse not ever after as the real problems start occouring after age 70 when you risk loosing your sight or speech etc cause of age but lets not go there)

that said, as a father ((hopefully when that day comes) i probably would prefer that my son settles down at the age of 25 . and would nt want him to see , know , experiment too much like i did . everyone just cannot handle it and afterall Ignorance is bliss :)
 
Magician
You should spend more time on websites that allow you to meet people. You have over 15 posts/day, bringing you dangerously into no-life Breakpoint territory.
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
Magician
You should spend more time on websites that allow you to meet people. You have over 15 posts/day, bringing you dangerously into no-life Breakpoint territory.
Not really, we had a terrible summer in Sweden (raining almost every day) and I spend a lot of times at this board,yes. Thats right.
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
Happy bithday OP,
that is a great thread and somewhat I can relate too with it except i travelled for studies and then mid 20's entreprenurial venture start up which is on cruise control now and no more requires me to be on my toes trotting around the globe.
while all this happened so quickly for me , things around did change fast too.
99% of the Peers , friends, cousins you name it all settled down with their better halves, bellies and kids. That did make me question my status as a bachelor after the age of 26..its been 3 years now ...heading into my thirties next year, been twice very closed to getting married but just didnt....

now that i look back all i can say is am very satisfied , no regrets and very worthwhile of the way i have led my life. I plan to settle down , i want to but defintily not for the sake of it, with the right one as you put it. so its kind of indefinite but as said earlier no regrets and i believe i will end up living happily ever after (ofcourse not ever after as the real problems start occouring after age 70 when you risk loosing your sight or speech etc cause of age but lets not go there)

that said, as a father ((hopefully when that day comes) i probably would prefer that my son settles down at the age of 25 . and would nt want him to see , know , experiment too much like i did . everyone just cannot handle it and afterall Ignorance is bliss :)
Thats a very nice reply, thank u!
 

David_Is_Right

Semi-Pro
Congratulations and happy birthday for tomorrow. I'm not far off myself at 26 and I understand your anxieties completely. Don't worry, everyone in their 30s acts like they're in their 20s nowadays anyway!
 

Kobble

Hall of Fame
I am in the same boat. Thirty gets in your head a bit. When you are single you start seeing people settling down. However, you can have kids, be married, and still live a great life. Just marry people who like what you like. Don't really settle for anything, or try to make things work. My parents had a lot of fun, and so did my friends parents.

As for me, I have yet to achieve all my career goals, and I just don't want to have kids until I am ready. I want the option of going back for my PhD if I choose to do so. I've seen people have kids before they get the critical raise, or the big law firm job they thought was in the bag. I'll wait until my bank account is fat enough so I can afford me and my kids' dreams. Like some people said, maybe we are lucky. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, and that is just the ones willing to end it. How many hate each other but stick it out because the wife's family is the boss of the husband at work, they pay for the mortgage, or some other enticing leverage that binds them. My neighbor was in that scenario, and my mother told me he looks like a 60 year old man at 36, today. I think there are a lot of traps out there.
 

40fifteen

New User
And they look ridiculous doing it.

Yes, but aren't there headcases, morons , douchbags and whatnot in every age group? cant realize generalize on eevry single person in their 30's.

On a different note in july, My ex was down from the states visiting her home country and that was like ten years after our relationship ended in High school. We went out (no strings attacthed policy) for dinner then a few bars basically mingling around wih people of every age group and we both realized what a beautiful age (25ish to 35 ish) it is! I mean we are old but not THAT old to not strike up an interesting conversation with the younger people we met and make some good acquaintances.

And then we met a few interesting people over 40 (very successful and on the top of the profession they belong to ) and i was surprised to note how we were really able to to stay on the same level and actually be taken seriously enough to even make good business connections for me.

it made us realize how we often are kind fo nostalgic about how the Golden age of early twenties and youth has passed but if you seriously look at it, this is the best time. you fit in everywhere much better .

in the end thiough agreeing with this post that some people take it too far and ridicule themselves.
 

CCNM

Hall of Fame
Happy Birthday Magician!!! Hope you have/had a good one. Don't feel bad about not being married/having kids. I'm 34 and still single, my aunt was 47 when she married for the first time. Also I hope your friends & family were nice to you. When I turned 30 some people I know were sending me anti-aging lotions!!!
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
Happy Birthday Magician!!! Hope you have/had a good one. Don't feel bad about not being married/having kids. I'm 34 and still single, my aunt was 47 when she married for the first time. Also I hope your friends & family were nice to you. When I turned 30 some people I know were sending me anti-aging lotions!!!
Lol, thanx CCNM! But it is tomorrow,my birthday:)
 

mtommer

Hall of Fame
lol tommer, sounds like you speak from experience? ;)
Yup. Actually though, it's not a good thing sometimes as you don't get taken seriously at times when another, older, person might. Also, if you work around college aged women (I do) you realize how unattractive mentally this age can be. Especially if one is not predisposed towards ***k'in and runnin' so to speak. Not that I'm anything above average or pretend to be. Still, you get your fairshare of looks and you have learn subtelty and when to hold your tongue lest you find yourself thoroughly despised by the entire female work staff (gossip can be a b****).
 

CanadianChic

Hall of Fame
Happy Birthday. I hope you have a great day and stop sweating it. Thirty is the new twenty and you have plenty of time to start a family. You can't get married and have kids, the white picket fence, etc. until you find the right one and that never happens when you are looking. It sounds like you have experienced many great things that most never get the opportunity to...playing a sport you love, meeting lots of people, traveling....and it also sounds as though your life is full. Everything happens for a reason and what is meant to be will be...at the right time. So drink a beer tonight, be thankful for your health and don't worry about the rest.
 

Kobble

Hall of Fame
Yup. Actually though, it's not a good thing sometimes as you don't get taken seriously at times when another, older, person might. Also, if you work around college aged women (I do) you realize how unattractive mentally this age can be. Especially if one is not predisposed towards ***k'in and runnin' so to speak. Not that I'm anything above average or pretend to be. Still, you get your fairshare of looks and you have learn subtelty and when to hold your tongue lest you find yourself thoroughly despised by the entire female work staff (gossip can be a b****).
LOL I don't get it. So some one night stand told all?
 
T

TheMagicianOfPrecision

Guest
Happy Birthday. I hope you have a great day and stop sweating it. Thirty is the new twenty and you have plenty of time to start a family. You can't get married and have kids, the white picket fence, etc. until you find the right one and that never happens when you are looking. It sounds like you have experienced many great things that most never get the opportunity to...playing a sport you love, meeting lots of people, traveling....and it also sounds as though your life is full. Everything happens for a reason and what is meant to be will be...at the right time. So drink a beer tonight, be thankful for your health and don't worry about the rest.
Thank u for ur nice answer:)
 

mtommer

Hall of Fame
LOL I don't get it. So some one night stand told all?
LOL, no, no, no. Think of the line "He's just not that into you." You have to be careful that the women around you don't take affront when not returning their gestures. Many young women especially (at least the ones around here that I've encountered at any rate) can't seem to comprehend that it really is "about them" and accept that just because they like you that you don't have to like them back. For example, if a guy doesn't want to go do something another guy asks if he'd like to do, no problem. No biggie. Say no to some women and it becomes an issue (after all, how could I pooosssiiibbbllyyy not want to do whatever with her. It's all about her don't ya' know.)

Man, even writing this is complicated. Eeks. If you don't get it, I understand (some days I'm not sure I do). :D
 
Top