Is an 18 yr old guy dating a 13 yr old girl a complete loser?

Is an 18 year old guy who dates a 13 year old girl a total loser?

  • Yes, it's a pathetic, desperate move - welcome to loserville!

    Votes: 95 79.8%

  • Not necessarily, it depends on the circumstances

    Votes: 12 10.1%

  • No, age is but a number

    Votes: 12 10.1%
  • Total voters
    119
norcal

norcal

Legend
Reading this made me sad. I can see how the 13 year old would love the attention but an 18 year old guy referring to her as his 'fiance'? What a complete fail.

Can you think of a circumstance in which the 18 year old guy would not be a loser for dating a 13 year old?


20090124_102136_cdpacheko.jpg




BROOMFIELD — The 18-year-old suspect called himself "tha widowmaker," said he loved the night life and pontificated about illegal drug use and violent gang play on his MySpace Web page.

"My gole iz to b a famis DANCE DJ for Denver," the professed fan of the Insane Clown Posse band declared in a MySpace missive.

The victim, a pretty 13-year-old partial to jeans and Ugg boots, left her house Oct. 14 after a disagreement with her parents about her companions.

The body of Kelsey Shannon was found Wednesday in the 13700 block of Lowell Boulevard less than a mile from her home. It was identified two days later. On Saturday her boyfriend, Alexander "Alex" Paul Pacheco, was arrested as a suspect in her death.

Kelsey's parents, along with 50 friends and family members, Saturday visited the ditch obscured by cattails where their daughter's body had been discovered.

"My heart sank when they said they had found her," said Oscar Almeida, who stood with his family of three that brought a stuffed toy turtle and yellow daffodils.

People filed past a bridge overpass and left bouquets of fresh flowers, balloons and stuffed animals, wondering how a teenage romance had gone so wrong. A chalk drawing of a purple heart and the words "Rest in peace sweet girl," were written on the sidewalk, which was piling up with handwritten notes, a wreath, toys and candles. One card read: "Kelsey, I'm sorry we didn't get along as well as we could, but when we did I was so happy."

The heartache began Oct. 14, shortly after Kelsey's mother, Dottie Shannon, picked up her daughter after school. She had found her with Pacheco, who had been arrested Sept. 18 for underage drinking and theft.

A disagreement ensured between mother and child about Kelsey's choice of friends. Kelsey left her home for a walk and vanished.

Police had investigated Kelsey's October disappearance as an endangered runaway case until her body was identified.

Pacheco, who was arrested at 1 a.m. Saturday at his mother's home in Lakewood, is being held at the Broomfield County Detention Center.

Police have been investigating Kelsey's disappearance all along, including checking websites that might give clues about her whereabouts, said Sgt. Mark Goodell, Broomfield police spokesman.

A website for missing persons may have been the first public forum about whisperings against Kelsey's boyfriend. In a Nov. 1 posting on the site, someone signing on as "Breezy" raised suspicion.

"Oh jeez! After reading the boyfriend's MySpace this girl may be in something that she can't get herself out of," Breezy wrote.

Fifty-five minutes later, a misspelled and poorly punctuated missive was posted on the same site, presumably from Kelsey.

"alex, you know i love you. i dont want cops or my paretns to XXXX us up. i cant stand this. i love you, and i wana be with you forever."

It suggested Kelsey was alive and on the run.

Dottie Shannon wrote a message on the same site, cautioning people from jumping to conclusions about who might be responsible for her daughter's disappearance, warning that doing so could make things worse.

Pacheco and his parents went to a candlelight vigil for Kelsey Dec. 7 and met Kelsey's sister for the first time.

"I'm sure she would have loved the chance to have introduced Meg to Alex. It's too sad they had to meet this way," Dottie Shannon wrote in a Dec. 14 message posted on the missing-persons website. She said her mood was gloomy.

"It's two months today since my 13-year-old daughter, Kelsey, left home without a trace and I don't know how much longer I can handle it," she wrote.

On Dec. 11, a long, poorly punctuated, misspelled diatribe appears on Pacheco's MySpace page, which includes several references to suicide.

"My fianc? has ran away wake up every day wondering if your okay I don't know where you are or if your near or far there is no withdraw as bad as this she made me straight when I was bi now I cry all by myself completely alone without my spouse my one true love my gorgeous swan my graceful dove "

His MySpace page, which mentions "Juggaloes," followers of the Insane Clown Posse hip-hop group, features pictures of Pacheco in facepaint as well as a dozen photos of Kelsey.

Stephenie Kostur, 18, one of those visiting the makeshift shrine near where the body was found, said Pacheco was known to be a Juggalo. She said group members painted their faces and were linked to drugs and violence.

On Dec. 30, answering a request by Dottie Shannon, Pacheco wrote another poorly spelled message that appeared on the missing-persons website about the day Kelsey disappeared.

He wrote that they met after school and "chilled" until 4:30 p.m., when Kelsey's mom picked her up.

"Every thing seemed peafectly normal," he wrote. "kelsey was watching spunj bob then she got up and said 'im goin for a walk.' "

A detective interviewed him and told him that Kelsey wrote in her journal that she thought Pacheco was cheating on her.

"I would never think twice about doing something so hertfull and selfish (police) made it aker to me that its posubly Y she left...she would always tell me that she would kill herself if I for some reson stoped seeing her If she dosent come home befor chirsmas. Im going to top myself some time after new years."

On Saturday, Kelsey's family released a statement thanking police for their tireless efforts.

"As we await answers, we profoundly grieve over the loss of this precious member of our family who did not run away, but rather was taken away prematurely from us," her family said in a statement released Saturday.

Kathryn Scott Osler contributed to this report.
Click to expand...
 
In my experience, there are two types of situations where a guy dates a much younger girl: The guy is either dating her because of the age difference, or he's dating her in spite of it. The latter seems to be pretty rare.

In this situation, it just seems gross - although I have to admit that I don't know the entire situation, just what was reported in this article.
 
I know of a friend who this could pertain to. However, the girl in his case is only 3 years younger, about a month away from 4 years. However, both of the people are very mature, and she's 14 or 15. I speak for my friend (the girl) when saying that sometimes there should be a cutoff. A couple of years younger or older is alright. 5 years younger is getting there, but is over the line when you're already a full-fledged Citizen at 18 and she just hits puberty at 13. Scary stuff...
 
IMO, five years between adults isn't necessarily much.

Five years between school age children? Massive differences in developmental stages, both physically, mentally and socially.

Though, in this guy's defense, it doesn't seem like he had developed too much mentally or socially.

In HS I had a friend who was a junior and he was dating a freshman. We thought it was uber creepy. This is the equivalent of a senior dating a 7th grader. Yikes.
 
norcal: I remember being in high school and thinking that it would be so way utterly cool to be a senior guy and be able to date any girl in the school.

But of course, by the time I reached that exalted position, the freshwomen looked awfully young! So did the sophomores. The juniors were okay, but the senior girls really got much more interested in their male classmates (for some reason!).

Yeah, 18 year old male dating a 13 year old Hanna Montana sounds pretty off key.
 
tennisfreak15347 said:
his spelling is horrible. "Spunj bob." by the way, can anyone clear things up? do they know how she died/why? a little confusing here.
Click to expand...
Unless someone on TW was present at the girl's death. :? I believe the article states something to the effect of "police are still investigating."
Just from the picture, you can tell that Pacheco is one of those inner city, gang banging hoodlums. I don't know if most kids just have a bad sense of judgment or something, but Kelsey should've known what she was getting into.
He's enough of a loser already if he needs gang buddies to give him security.
 
max said:
norcal: I remember being in high school and thinking that it would be so way utterly cool to be a senior guy and be able to date any girl in the school.

But of course, by the time I reached that exalted position, the freshwomen looked awfully young! So did the sophomores. The juniors were okay, but the senior girls really got much more interested in their male classmates (for some reason!).

Yeah, 18 year old male dating a 13 year old Hanna Montana sounds pretty off key.
Click to expand...
Opposite with me :?
The freshman at my school are taller/more mature than most of the girls in the junior/sophomore class.

Unfortunately for me, I'd still be considered a pedophile for trying to talk to them.
 
if an eighteen year old would go for a thirteen year old cuz they have no game with people their own age i'd have to say they are a creep.
 
Elvis could have who he wanted. Most male adults don't want 13 year old females, Elvis was a sick pup.

I think 18 year olds dating 13 year olds can't get anyone else, hence all aboard the loser failboat.
 
Loser? Dude has goles!

"My gole iz to b a famis DANCE DJ for Denver,"

Ironically he will now be famis for his JAIL _J's, for Denver.


Btw, this thread is not specific to this loser, we can talk about all May-December romances.
 
it is pretty sick, but i wonder...how many 18year olds are out dating 13year olds right now as we speak, and for teh most part they go well, ie. not end up like this
 
zapvor said:
it is pretty sick, but i wonder...how many 18year olds are out dating 13year olds right now as we speak, and for teh most part they go well, ie. not end up like this
Click to expand...
But the point is that it's sick, whether it ends in premature death is irrelevant...
 
Age matters not unless it involves adults with teens or children. The guy is a loser who abviously can't find anyone his own age willing to take him. This isn't Romeo and Juliet.
 
It's a shame that the girl was killed, but until it's provent that the bf killed her, let's not convict him. Is he a loser for dating such a young girl? Sure, but then again, so is Arthur Jones who took in a 15 year old girl and then married her as soon as she turned 18. Arthur was in his 60s at the time. If you're gonna judge underage teen romance, you might as well judge May/December romances too.
 
Fedace said:
When i was in high school, i was Senior, i went out with Freshman girls, does that make me a loser too ???
Click to expand...

Please explain to us in the UK how old you were when a senior and how old the girls were when juniors. Different system over here.

And yes the 18 year-old is a complete loser.
 
PimpMyGame said:
Please explain to us in the UK how old you were when a senior and how old the girls were when juniors. Different system over here.

And yes the 18 year-old is a complete loser.
Click to expand...

Yes i was 18 yrs old when i was senior and the freshman girl i fell for was 14 yrs old. but she was only 2 weeks away from her 15 th birthday.:)
 
PimpMyGame said:
Please explain to us in the UK how old you were when a senior and how old the girls were when juniors. Different system over here.

And yes the 18 year-old is a complete loser.
Click to expand...

Seniors are 18 years old. Freshman are 14 years old. Of course it depends when they have their birthday so there could be 17 year old seniors and 15 year old freshman.

High school is 4 years long (in most places) So Freshman is year 1 and Senior is year 4.
 
Djokovicfan4life said:
Hahaha, surely only a LOSER would be incapable of spelling such a simple word, even when it's sitting right there in the post you just quoted.
Click to expand...

And why is it that i should care about spelling ??? give me one good reason. and FYI, i did that one on purpose.....to say that if senior does date a freshman, that guy is not a LOOSER...:)
 
Fedace said:
And why is it that i should care about spelling ??? give me one good reason. and FYI, i did that one on purpose.....to say that if senior does date a freshman, that guy is not a LOOSER...:)
Click to expand...

Dude, I was sticking up for you in that post. Come on now, I'm trying my best here. Don't ruin it already. :)
 
What about in South America where the proud papas try to marry off their daughters at a young age so they don't have to struggle? This stuff happens all the time in places where there's no such thing as being underaged. In Canada, the legal age of consent is 14 so should we condemn a 30 year old man for getting with a 14 year old girl even if it's legal? I find that to be sicker than an 18 year old with a 13 year old. Laws are made by hypocrites and that's been the case for a long time.
 
Rickson said:
What about in South America where the proud papas try to marry off their daughters at a young age so they don't have to struggle? This stuff happens all the time in places where there's no such thing as being underaged. In Canada, the legal age of consent is 14 so should we condemn a 30 year old man for getting with a 14 year old girl even if it's legal? I find that to be sicker than an 18 year old with a 13 year old. Laws are made by hypocrites and that's been the case for a long time.
Click to expand...

This isn't so much about any legal age of consent, it's about the difference in emotional, physical and mental maturity between two parties. Maybe I'm being simplistic but most 13 y/o girls would go out with an 18 y/o guy for status, bragging to friends etc while an 18 y/o guy would go out with a 13 y/o girl for...you can work it out.
 
But 14 year old girls in Canada don't need to brag, do they? Maybe we should follow the way of the Canadians. Fake, stuffy Americans. This is a country full of Elliot Spitzers.
 
Girlz iz girlz Rickson. Maybe they like that he has a car, or a job, but it's always the same. It pisses the parents off too, which is half the reason they do it.
 
Djokovicfan4life said:
Hahaha, surely only a LOSER would be incapable of spelling such a simple word, even when it's sitting right there in the post you just quoted.
Click to expand...

Sorry for the mistake, I wasn't thinking all too well this morning; my roommates were out until about 4 this morning and proceeded to wake me up upon their return (one of them, who was quite intoxicated, shook me awake to tell me that I was a "wanker" and "lo hizo mi madre", and I had about 3 hours of sleep before that, due to an essay I had to write (and am still doing so!) in Spanish about some story about an old house in Argentina. I also had a 7:45 class, so I got almost ZERO sleep last night. Not fun.
 
Man that's terrible.

I have a friend who when he was 18 made out with a 14 year old, I think he knew her age at the time, I damn near slapped him when I heard, not the type of sh** to mess with.

Funny thing was, it was one of his best friends sister.
 
Kissing is not illegal since the mouth is not considered a sexual organ, but fellatio would definitely be a crime. Your buddy did nothing illegal because of a technicality.
 
^^^Rickson, it's not just a matter of legality - it's a matter of "twistedness". An 18 yr old has no business going out with a 14 yr old - period!
Btw, you seem awfully defensive about this - anything you'd like to share with the group?
 
You're right Rickson.

I'm just saying, its a (potentially) bad image for him and an image that could wear off on me, for instance if people knew he messes around with younger females, they may associate me in the same way.

I Also didn't want it to go any further than it did.

10sfreak, right on, it is more than messed up for a 18, nearly 19 year old to be messing around with his best friends sister who just starting going to Highschool.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

counter_puncher
Usa: 19 Yr Old In Live Webcam Suicide
Replies
29
Views
3K
sureshs
S
Lee James
Polotics, an 18 yr. old view point
Replies
16
Views
2K
thejerk
T
soyizgood
Dilemma dating a single mom
2 3 4
Replies
190
Views
26K
heycal
H
N
How do you motivate a talented 6.5 yr old girl?
Replies
23
Views
4K
tennis5
T
B
Teaching 6-Yr Old Girl Serve
Replies
9
Views
1K
OK.
O
Back
Top