Is it me or him?

#1
I play with guys that hit the ball hard ... for better or worse. One of those fellows is a 4.5 guy that takes huge rips on returns of serve. Forget the fact that he gets about 40 % in play, the one game a set he pulls it all together is magical.

In any event, when I play doubles with him he upsets me for the following reason. He takes a huge swing on every ball ... even if a serve is 4 feet out. We can likely agree that this in and of itself is problem, but It is not just the hitting of out balls that is frustrating, the fact the he tries to punish the balls makes it worse. He takes huge swings on balls that bounce close to his feet .... he sprays the ball because of his huge swing and the fact that they have landed very close to him. I have been nearly struck in the face several times when his wayward missle heads towards me relaxed at the net.

I have barked several times at his habit of doing this and poor language has been used often .. by me. My point is that taking wild swings at balls 4 feet out is going to get me hurt. Instinctively when a ball is well out I will relax and often stand up.... sometimes I even look at where the ball goes ... which ultimately puts my pearly whites in line to catch one of his wayward shots.

So, I know what I should do ... I should simply avoid playing with him ... which I may do

However, I would be interested in your opinion .... is this dude the problem because of the behavior I described .....or am I the one that should be modifying my behavior. Should I train myself to never look back? Is that even possible?
 
#3
i'd use it as an opportunity to poach his return every time. good practice for me.
he's ripping the returns to intimidate IMO... it's even more infuriating for him if you get a bead on his returns, and block them back for winners.
 
#4
I play with guys that hit the ball hard ... for better or worse. One of those fellows is a 4.5 guy that takes huge rips on returns of serve. Forget the fact that he gets about 40 % in play, the one game a set he pulls it all together is magical.

In any event, when I play doubles with him he upsets me for the following reason. He takes a huge swing on every ball ... even if a serve is 4 feet out. We can likely agree that this in and of itself is problem, but It is not just the hitting of out balls that is frustrating, the fact the he tries to punish the balls makes it worse. He takes huge swings on balls that bounce close to his feet .... he sprays the ball because of his huge swing and the fact that they have landed very close to him. I have been nearly struck in the face several times when his wayward missle heads towards me relaxed at the net.

I have barked several times at his habit of doing this and poor language has been used often .. by me. My point is that taking wild swings at balls 4 feet out is going to get me hurt. Instinctively when a ball is well out I will relax and often stand up.... sometimes I even look at where the ball goes ... which ultimately puts my pearly whites in line to catch one of his wayward shots.

So, I know what I should do ... I should simply avoid playing with him ... which I may do

However, I would be interested in your opinion .... is this dude the problem because of the behavior I described .....or am I the one that should be modifying my behavior. Should I train myself to never look back? Is that even possible?
Stop playing with him.

You could also play two back. When he asks you “WTF ar you doing” explain you dont want to get killed by his ripping of out balls.
 
#5
i'd use it as an opportunity to poach his return every time. good practice for me.
he's ripping the returns to intimidate IMO... it's even more infuriating for him if you get a bead on his returns, and block them back for winners.
I couldn't decide if OP meant that he's on the guys team, or on the opposing team...if he's the opposition, I love your idea.
 
#8
Stop playing with him.

You could also play two back. When he asks you “WTF ar you doing” explain you dont want to get killed by his ripping of out balls.
yeah, but now you're playing the victim. go on the offense! poach that big return (unless you can't volley the big return, in which case the intimidation routine is working)
 
#10
yeah, but now you're playing the victim. go on the offense! poach that big return (unless you can't volley the big return, in which case the intimidation routine is working)
I actually worry less when I playing against him .... still a pain in the tail ... but at least I am looking and ready.

When I am playing with him, I relax and turn to the baseline, expecting a reasonable partner to catch the ball or bunt it back ... that is when I worry I will catch one in the eye.
 

sureshs

Bionic Poster
#12
It is a violation of the Code:

Player should not return obviously out serves. A player should not
return a serve that is obviously out even when the return is
accompanied by an “out” call. This is a form of rudeness or
gamesmanship. A player may return a fast serve that just misses the
line inasmuch as the return is often a matter of self-protection.
 
#13
He takes a huge swing on every ball ... even if a serve is 4 feet out.
He is rude and breaking the Code--no mulligans in tennis--you should demand a first serve everytime he hits an out serve back to your--this is basic tennis.
Instinctively when a ball is well out I will relax and often stand up....
Well, you know by now that you CANNOT relax with this neanderthal around.
... I should simply avoid playing with him ...
You and your buds should have one last "chat" with neanderthal and warn him of the consequences .
.... is this dude the problem because of the behavior I described .....
HE IS THE PROBLEM!--clearly.
Should I train myself to never look back? Is that even possible?
It depends on how quick your reflexes are--Vic Sexias looked back at his partners serving, partners like Talbert and Trabert--when asked about it he said, "If he knew where the ball was going--he could get out of the way better." How are your reflexes and your agility?
 
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#15
"Is it me or him?"

Ready?.... It's you.

Yes, really.

You're the enabler because that person should've been told already.

One solution, the other three agree that nonsense like that is loss of point.

When he freaks out you simply say 'you didn't tell us upfront you we going to play each game like it's life or death so we've no obligation to police your behavior'.
 
#16
If a serve is close, you can swing at it. In fact you have to, as you may not be able to judge whether it's in or out quickly enough. But I agree that swinging at obviously out serves is a bad idea.
 
#18
Is it acceptable to ask for a let if someone delays your second serve when they intentionally return an out first serve?
This is a good question. I couple of years ago when I was the asst on a college team, we had a player who liked to whack clearly"out" serves and send them back over the net, despite my asking her to cease with this sort of useless and energy wasting behavior. Sometimes the ball she would send back would hit the fence behind the server and roll back toward her so she would be forced to roll the ball out of play before starting her second serve. After this happened a couple of times, the server asked the umpire for a first serve and was granted one. This ended my player's (as the Code calls it) "rudeness".
 
#19
"Is it me or him?"

Ready?.... It's you.

Yes, really.

You're the enabler because that person should've been told already.

One solution, the other three agree that nonsense like that is loss of point.

When he freaks out you simply say 'you didn't tell us upfront you we going to play each game like it's life or death so we've no obligation to police your behavior'.
As it turns out I have told him many many times. His response is that he always swings at every service because he always wants to be ready. He’s unwilling to acknowledge when the balls 6 feet out that he could’ve stopped.

But as it turns out it doesn’t seem like the other people we played with are upset by this behavior. It certainly seems like no one else is interested in this this conflict with him.
 
#21
As it turns out I have told him many many times.
Fine. Then it's still you - once was being generous (who decided to allow this to continue?)

"His response is that he always swings at every service because he always wants to be ready."

?!? ... ready means 'ready to make smart choices' so he's saying he knows your enabling him because ANY reason he gives would be accepted as reasonable.

"It certainly seems like no one else is interested in this this conflict with him."

Fine. Then it's just another reason for him not to change.

Your position sounds perfectly reasonable but without the other two you can't win the election.
 
#22
As it turns out I have told him many many times. His response is that he always swings at every service because he always wants to be ready. He’s unwilling to acknowledge when the balls 6 feet out that he could’ve stopped.

I blame ALL of you for not getting your serves in!!! LOL :p

Yeah I call BS on his response. We all have self control, he’s choosing not to exercise his. As someone mentioned earlier if his behavior continues, I’d start taking first serves let’s. His return of service to a ball that’s clearly out is against the rules and slowing the pace of the game down. Most often (at least when I play indoors) you’re paying for courttime. Why waste time when you could be playing actual tennis.
 
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