Life choices, being fortunate or unfortunate , how do you make sense of it?

Crocodile

Crocodile

G.O.A.T.
There’s this backyard tennis court where I sometimes make a booking to work with some clients. The lady who owns the court lives by herself and she is 96. She is completely competent, totally with it, and in good humour. She is more functional than many people decades her junior. She even still manages her own investments. She knows everything about tennis and who are the rising stars. . She grew up in the country and ran a hair dressing business, married, had kids, was in a major accident and spent months in hospital, but over came it all and she is very measured.
Quite amazing and I keep hoping that I might be like that if I ever make it to 96.
At the other extreme I come across kids with terminal cancer, teenagers in wheelchairs as a result of a car accident or diving into a pool, then you have people taking their own lives or they may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, committed a crime, gone to jail etc. How lucky you might be iif you were born into the right family in a good country, healthy most of the time, well defined, good looking, not fat.
At some point we will reach our peak and then eventually start to deteriorate. Sometimes you wish your body kept its biological condition you had in your 20’s. Alternatively you could have a brilliant mind with your IQ off the charts or you may such a magnetic charisma that people want to be with you.
So what is the secret of all this? Is your life a culmination of good choices, cause and effect blended in with things that just happen to you as course of life or is it something else.
The Buddhist’s always talk about the middle way as the way to live life, the Christians talk about loving one another and Stoics talk about living a virtuous life by being logical and effecting change where change was within one’s control.
Sometimes when things are going really well I try to moderate myself because becoming too euphoric can lead you to lose of awareness and then you stuff up and end up back in the doghouse. When you are in the doghouse you try to endure it and wait for the good times to return .
Does anyone have any thoughts that they wish to express. I could be talking to myself on this one but hopfully you guys maybe able to have something to say.
 
Sentinel

Sentinel

Bionic Poster
Azure said:
Karma
Click to expand...
I couldn't even figure out the question in the end.

All i can say is that I am happy for that 96 year young lady. Hope she remains healthy and happy.

If i were the OP, I'd probably give her a hug, maybe bring her flowers now and then, so she doesn't feel lonely.

Reminds me, sort of, of Jessica Tandy in Fried Green Tomatoes.
 
Azure

Azure

G.O.A.T.
Sentinel said:
I couldn't even figure out the question in the end.

All i can say is that I am happy for that 96 year young lady. Hope she remains healthy and happy.

If i were the OP, I'd probably give her a hug, maybe bring her flowers now and then, so she doesn't feel lonely.

Reminds me, sort of, of Jessica Tandy in Fried Green Tomatoes.
Click to expand...
What a great book (and movie wasn't shabby either). I think the question is on the "why" - honestly I didn't go till the end of the post either but the first few lines were pretty interesting. I feel proud of the lovely old lady.
 
Sentinel

Sentinel

Bionic Poster
Crocodile said:
Is your life a culmination of good choices
Click to expand...
That seems to be a reasonable assumption.

The only thing that makes sense to me, given what i have, is to make rational decisions, perhaps think long term, be focused and not waver.

But in real life i am the opposite, sadly. Emotional decisions, doing things that make me happy and seeing where it takes me. Some go well, some don't, but i don't regret it until now.
 
S

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Sentinel said:
If i were the OP, I'd probably give her a hug,
Click to expand...
If there is one thing that the pandemic taught us, it is that handshakes and hugs are not safe.
A namaste is more than enough.
namaste-symbol-115510531424qc69l0sej.png
 
S

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Sentinel said:
That seems to be a reasonable assumption.

The only thing that makes sense to me, given what i have, is to make rational decisions, perhaps think long term, be focused and not waver.

But in real life i am the opposite, sadly. Emotional decisions, doing things that make me happy and seeing where it takes me. Some go well, some don't, but i don't regret it until now.
Click to expand...
It is called the greedy algorithm in computer science. Just go for the local minimum or maximum of something each time. Sometimes it eventually leads to the globally optimal solution, sometimes not.
 
S

sportsfan1

Legend
I suppose it's a sum of the cards you are dealt/born with and the luck you have. Sure there are some decisions that you have control over, but those still tie in with luck and your path shaping you towards it. As Andy Murray said, if a decision (choice) you make comes off, you look like a genius, otherwise not so much.

So in summary, in the big picture it's all about being fortunate and lucky, even though people may attribute their successes or failures to their own choices.
 
T

travlerajm

Talk Tennis Guru
Crocodile said:
There’s this backyard tennis court where I sometimes make a booking to work with some clients. The lady who owns the court lives by herself and she is 96. She is completely competent, totally with it, and in good humour. She is more functional than many people decades her junior. She even still manages her own investments. She knows everything about tennis and who are the rising stars. . She grew up in the country and ran a hair dressing business, married, had kids, was in a major accident and spent months in hospital, but over came it all and she is very measured.
Quite amazing and I keep hoping that I might be like that if I ever make it to 96.
At the other extreme I come across kids with terminal cancer, teenagers in wheelchairs as a result of a car accident or diving into a pool, then you have people taking their own lives or they may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, committed a crime, gone to jail etc. How lucky you might be iif you were born into the right family in a good country, healthy most of the time, well defined, good looking, not fat.
At some point we will reach our peak and then eventually start to deteriorate. Sometimes you wish your body kept its biological condition you had in your 20’s. Alternatively you could have a brilliant mind with your IQ off the charts or you may such a magnetic charisma that people want to be with you.
So what is the secret of all this? Is your life a culmination of good choices, cause and effect blended in with things that just happen to you as course of life or is it something else.
The Buddhist’s always talk about the middle way as the way to live life, the Christians talk about loving one another and Stoics talk about living a virtuous life by being logical and effecting change where change was within one’s control.
Sometimes when things are going really well I try to moderate myself because becoming too euphoric can lead you to lose of awareness and then you stuff up and end up back in the doghouse. When you are in the doghouse you try to endure it and wait for the good times to return .
Does anyone have any thoughts that they wish to express. I could be talking to myself on this one but hopfully you guys maybe able to have something to say.
Click to expand...
Sometimes you need to sit back, smell the roses, and just enjoy the moment. Life is short.
 
Crocodile

Crocodile

G.O.A.T.
It’s kind of interesting how things can end up being. There can be a wide range in people development. There’s this 10 year kid who turns up to the courts and he is completely business like with his demeanour and approach. He has got his timetable worked out, his bag is neatly prepared with all the accessories, racquets strung freshly with new over grips and he is ready to play.
On the otter hand along comes this other kid who didn’t want to play unless he could play in the evening. He can’t get to bed on time, wakes up late, has trouble concentrating, likes to argue and is disorganised.
It’s going to end up differently for these two ?
 
Crocodile

Crocodile

G.O.A.T.
To a certain level it would be of benefit to study what behaviours correlate or have a causation to success in life or failure in life.
The unknown of course are the challenges that life can bring. If you are born with a disability then that is a challenge for you. You are lucky if you are born healthy and can be thankful that you are OK.
Being a Roger Federer type athlete must be a gift whereas for others it can be a case of will power and the right training. When you think of Lleyton H, his desire to become the best in the world would have required massive effort and determination to become outstanding,
 
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C

chrischris

G.O.A.T.
Crocodile said:
There’s this backyard tennis court where I sometimes make a booking to work with some clients. The lady who owns the court lives by herself and she is 96. She is completely competent, totally with it, and in good humour. She is more functional than many people decades her junior. She even still manages her own investments. She knows everything about tennis and who are the rising stars. . She grew up in the country and ran a hair dressing business, married, had kids, was in a major accident and spent months in hospital, but over came it all and she is very measured.
Quite amazing and I keep hoping that I might be like that if I ever make it to 96.
At the other extreme I come across kids with terminal cancer, teenagers in wheelchairs as a result of a car accident or diving into a pool, then you have people taking their own lives or they may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, committed a crime, gone to jail etc. How lucky you might be iif you were born into the right family in a good country, healthy most of the time, well defined, good looking, not fat.
At some point we will reach our peak and then eventually start to deteriorate. Sometimes you wish your body kept its biological condition you had in your 20’s. Alternatively you could have a brilliant mind with your IQ off the charts or you may such a magnetic charisma that people want to be with you.
So what is the secret of all this? Is your life a culmination of good choices, cause and effect blended in with things that just happen to you as course of life or is it something else.
The Buddhist’s always talk about the middle way as the way to live life, the Christians talk about loving one another and Stoics talk about living a virtuous life by being logical and effecting change where change was within one’s control.
Sometimes when things are going really well I try to moderate myself because becoming too euphoric can lead you to lose of awareness and then you stuff up and end up back in the doghouse. When you are in the doghouse you try to endure it and wait for the good times to return .
Does anyone have any thoughts that they wish to express. I could be talking to myself on this one but hopfully you guys maybe able to have something to say.
Click to expand...
Crocodile said:
There’s this backyard tennis court where I sometimes make a booking to work with some clients. The lady who owns the court lives by herself and she is 96. She is completely competent, totally with it, and in good humour. She is more functional than many people decades her junior. She even still manages her own investments. She knows everything about tennis and who are the rising stars. . She grew up in the country and ran a hair dressing business, married, had kids, was in a major accident and spent months in hospital, but over came it all and she is very measured.
Quite amazing and I keep hoping that I might be like that if I ever make it to 96.
At the other extreme I come across kids with terminal cancer, teenagers in wheelchairs as a result of a car accident or diving into a pool, then you have people taking their own lives or they may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, committed a crime, gone to jail etc. How lucky you might be iif you were born into the right family in a good country, healthy most of the time, well defined, good looking, not fat.
At some point we will reach our peak and then eventually start to deteriorate. Sometimes you wish your body kept its biological condition you had in your 20’s. Alternatively you could have a brilliant mind with your IQ off the charts or you may such a magnetic charisma that people want to be with you.
So what is the secret of all this? Is your life a culmination of good choices, cause and effect blended in with things that just happen to you as course of life or is it something else.
The Buddhist’s always talk about the middle way as the way to live life, the Christians talk about loving one another and Stoics talk about living a virtuous life by being logical and effecting change where change was within one’s control.
Sometimes when things are going really well I try to moderate myself because becoming too euphoric can lead you to lose of awareness and then you stuff up and end up back in the doghouse. When you are in the doghouse you try to endure it and wait for the good times to return .
Does anyone have any thoughts that they wish to express. I could be talking to myself on this one but hopfully you guys maybe able to have something to say.
Click to expand...

Life is all about relatonships... Your arent an individual as much as you would like to think.. Why?
You are mostly formed years 0 to 3 or so. Your early experience of safety and comfort and unsafety and discomfort will Become your subconscious Mind that knows you 'better ' than you do as an adult... Food for thought..
 
Crocodile

Crocodile

G.O.A.T.
Scientists say that over 70 percent of cancers can be prevented by lifestyle choices with the correct diet and exercise, avoiding harmful chemicals and having the right mindset, but we still have a lot of obesity, diabetes and chronic inflammatory illnesses.
The lifestyle choices for health need to be executed consistently for decades. Are people up for it or not !
 
C

chrischris

G.O.A.T.
Crocodile said:
Scientists say that over 70 percent of cancers can be prevented by lifestyle choices with the correct diet and exercise, avoiding harmful chemicals and having the right mindset, but we still have a lot of obesity, diabetes and chronic inflammatory illnesses.
The lifestyle choices for health need to be executed consistently for decades. Are people up for it or not !
Click to expand...

Not everyone has the Luxury of making those choices.. . It seems mainly the elites like to think so.
 
Crocodile

Crocodile

G.O.A.T.
So here’s thing I wanted to touch on, I will use an Australian experience as the case study.
The two biggest cities, Sydney and Melbourne have always had a geographical divide which divided people based on wealth, occupation, success and culture. In both Sydney and Melbourne the cheaper working class areas were in the western suburbs, the middle class are usually in the middle ring suburbs and the elite lived in the Eastern Suburbs, harbour or bay side or in Sydney the northern beaches. The areas developed cultural characteristics so much that in Melbourne they called you a bogan if you came from the west and in Sydney you were labelled a westie. As Sydney became expensive all round the term bogan kind of replaced westie because these days you are lucky to get a place anywhere irrespective of your cultural identity.
These days being a bogan doesn’t mean you are poor, in fact we have cashed up bogans who made a killing out of being a tradesman. However many of the cultural behaviours remained with car choices, haircuts, clothing, music choices and sport choices as well as health choices. We have a lot of obese people in the west in fact one anaesthetist told me she had to knock back surgery for patients who were too much of a risk. Whether it’s the consumption of too much fast food as opposed to home cooked meals or drinking too much soft drinks I don’t know but the situation is dire for these people. Here’s an example of this culture in action in Australia at least in the car scene and these cars are not cheap . Take a look:

Here is an event in Canberra called Summernats where many bogans congregate each year.
Watch the second one on YouTube or search for Summernats 2023. The cars themselves would look OK if they kept them original in period colours but they just can’t seem to leave them alone.
 
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Crocodile

Crocodile

G.O.A.T.
Some bogan fashion and cultural pastimes;
1. The mullet hair cut and a rats tail
2. Black T Shirt with flannelet shirt
3. Plays and/or follows NRL - rugby league religiously and wears jersey while mowing the lawns
4. Listens to heavy metal or hard rock like ACDC
5. Drives 20 year old Australian cars but modified and painted in bright colours
6. The inside of the car is full of coke bottles and wrappings from Maccas and KFC
7. Cross dressing
 
C

chrischris

G.O.A.T.
Crocodile said:
Well I’m going to raise a few points regarding socioeconomic and cultural factors in life chances and decisions people make shortly.
Click to expand...
By all means go ahead. The richest are your fossil fuel folks it seems. Decades of worldwide domination..?
Mind you i respect it.
 
Crocodile

Crocodile

G.O.A.T.
On the other side of the equation you have the hipsters living in the inner suburbs of cities pretending to be virtuous while daddy is paying off their credit cars. You will see these people as follows:
1. Young women wearing active wear pushing prams as a part time job doing nanny work while attending University
2. Men having a light beard with a ponytail driving around in a 1972 Volvo 140, Saab 900 or E21 BMW
3. Drinks Almond milk and has avocado on toast
4. Listens to Indi music and does Pilates
5. Is majoring in the arts and gender dance theory.
6. Men pretending to be allies to feminist women for manipulative favours
 
Crocodile

Crocodile

G.O.A.T.
chrischris said:
By all means go ahead. The richest are your fossil fuel folks it seems. Decades of worldwide domination..?
Mind you i respect it.
Click to expand...
The rich kids drive electric cars and have all the latest energy saving gadgets, e-bikes, while the working class drive 20 year old clunkers.
The fossil fuel billionaires own the renewable energy companies, which I have mentioned to you before. In the Middle East you have billionaire fossil fuel people and counties are still customers because of economic factors and functionality. Even most strident individuals who want to transition out of coal are saying that solar and wind won’t be sustainable and are taking up SMR’s.
Have a listen to this Chris, this is Dick Smith’s view on carbon:
 
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C

chrischris

G.O.A.T.
Crocodile said:
The rich kids drive electric cars and have all the latest energy saving gadgets, e-bikes, while the working class drive 20 year old clunkers.
The fossil fuel billionaires own the renewable energy companies, which I have mentioned to you before. In the Middle East you have billionaire fossil fuel people and counties are still customers because of economic factors and functionality. Even most strident individuals who want to transition out of coal are saying that solar and wind won’t be sustainable and are taking up SMR’s.
Have a listen to this Chris, this is Dick Smith’s view on carbon:
Click to expand...

I find ithat vid a joke.
Besides your idea bout renewables.
 
Rafa.the.Magnificent

Rafa.the.Magnificent

G.O.A.T.
Crocodile said:
There’s this backyard tennis court where I sometimes make a booking to work with some clients. The lady who owns the court lives by herself and she is 96. She is completely competent, totally with it, and in good humour. She is more functional than many people decades her junior. She even still manages her own investments. She knows everything about tennis and who are the rising stars. . She grew up in the country and ran a hair dressing business, married, had kids, was in a major accident and spent months in hospital, but over came it all and she is very measured.
Quite amazing and I keep hoping that I might be like that if I ever make it to 96.
At the other extreme I come across kids with terminal cancer, teenagers in wheelchairs as a result of a car accident or diving into a pool, then you have people taking their own lives or they may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, committed a crime, gone to jail etc. How lucky you might be iif you were born into the right family in a good country, healthy most of the time, well defined, good looking, not fat.
At some point we will reach our peak and then eventually start to deteriorate. Sometimes you wish your body kept its biological condition you had in your 20’s. Alternatively you could have a brilliant mind with your IQ off the charts or you may such a magnetic charisma that people want to be with you.
So what is the secret of all this? Is your life a culmination of good choices, cause and effect blended in with things that just happen to you as course of life or is it something else.
The Buddhist’s always talk about the middle way as the way to live life, the Christians talk about loving one another and Stoics talk about living a virtuous life by being logical and effecting change where change was within one’s control.
Sometimes when things are going really well I try to moderate myself because becoming too euphoric can lead you to lose of awareness and then you stuff up and end up back in the doghouse. When you are in the doghouse you try to endure it and wait for the good times to return .
Does anyone have any thoughts that they wish to express. I could be talking to myself on this one but hopfully you guys maybe able to have something to say.
Click to expand...
I don’t know the answers. I wonder about these things often. I do try not to puff up over any perceived successes as I do think luck plays a large part in our lives at times. I like what little I know of Buddhist philosophies.
 
puppybutts

puppybutts

Hall of Fame
Nothing in life is guaranteed. No moment lasts forever, good or bad. That's why it's important to try and be present, accept the flow of time, and learn to enjoy life in all its adventures, rather than digging in your heels trying to fight something you can't control.

Of course, there is extreme luck involved that make for better lives for some than others...it's unfortunate. There is no simple answer...only a reason to be kind to each other and try to leave the world a little better than you entered it.
 
C

chrischris

G.O.A.T.
puppybutts said:
Nothing in life is guaranteed. No moment lasts forever, good or bad. That's why it's important to try and be present, accept the flow of time, and learn to enjoy life in all its adventures, rather than digging in your heels trying to fight something you can't control.

Of course, there is extreme luck involved that make for better lives for some than others...it's unfortunate. There is no simple answer...only a reason to be kind to each other and try to leave the world a little better than you entered it.
Click to expand...

Agree, not taking more than your fair share is the law of the jungle and the main rule in the world we live in.
In fact, its the default mode of all living matter and living creatures.
We seem to capitalise on it. Better do it in a Circular mode for otherwise we cant live well nor for long.
 
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T

travlerajm

Talk Tennis Guru
Crocodile said:
It’s kind of interesting how things can end up being. There can be a wide range in people development. There’s this 10 year kid who turns up to the courts and he is completely business like with his demeanour and approach. He has got his timetable worked out, his bag is neatly prepared with all the accessories, racquets strung freshly with new over grips and he is ready to play.
On the otter hand along comes this other kid who didn’t want to play unless he could play in the evening. He can’t get to bed on time, wakes up late, has trouble concentrating, likes to argue and is disorganised.
It’s going to end up differently for these two ?
Click to expand...
Depends. If kid B has good interpersonal skills, kid A might end up being his worker bee employee.
 
S

sureshs

Bionic Poster
Azure said:
Isn’t conjugate gradient only for linear systems? NN or MLP models usually do backpropagation using stochastic gradient descent.
Click to expand...
Yes are right. I went by only the gradient descent term.
My knowledge of neural nets is limited to understanding one python program on the web which used back propagation. I modified it a little and ran it.
 
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