Mental Health

LOBALOT

Hall of Fame
A very active member of our tennis community took his life Wednesday night. Our group played tennis with him on Tuesday and he sat right next to me for drinks after.

His daughter is engaged to be married this summer and his son is graduating from high school this year and attending a very good university.

We are devastated.

If you are not feeling right please discuss with your friends and seek help.
 

ollinger

G.O.A.T.
Sometimes people feel they missed some sign of this coming, but it's a common phenomenon in psychiatric practice that an individual seems in a very good mood just before suicidal behavior, evidently because they feel some relief at having made that decision and thus feel unburdened.
 

atatu

Legend
Yeah it's shocking when someone you know does this, we had a similar situation here earlier this year with a member of the tennis community. The thing is you never know what someone is going through, even if you think you know them fairly well.
 

LOBALOT

Hall of Fame
Yeah it's shocking when someone you know does this, we had a similar situation here earlier this year with a member of the tennis community. The thing is you never know what someone is going through, even if you think you know them fairly well.
Yes That is correct so the key message is for someone that is depressed to seek help in whatever form they feel is appropriate be it a minister at their church / synagog / mosque / etc., a friend, their primary care physician, their friend, their spouse, a stranger.
 

Harry_Wild

G.O.A.T.
It would be interested in what trigger this response! It could be a movie, another human being or something else. Just remember that it is an impulse act. 1/3 of death each years are sucides!
 

S&V-not_dead_yet

Talk Tennis Guru
And since we can't know what people are going through and they themselves may be unaware [to the full extent], the only thing we can do is seek to be actively engaged with those around us. Contact someone you haven't heard from in a while. One of these days, it might turn out to have really mattered.
 

LOBALOT

Hall of Fame
And since we can't know what people are going through and they themselves may be unaware [to the full extent], the only thing we can do is seek to be actively engaged with those around us. Contact someone you haven't heard from in a while. One of these days, it might turn out to have really mattered.
That is really a good point. If you see something odd with a friend reach out to them and tell others too as well. They may not accept the first offer for help or the second but maybe the third.
 

S&V-not_dead_yet

Talk Tennis Guru
That is really a good point. If you see something odd with a friend reach out to them and tell others too as well. They may not accept the first offer for help or the second but maybe the third.
Coincidentally [?], I just came across the following quote:

"Live for each day, live for the hours, since nothing is forever yours."
 

acintya

Legend
oh thats bad to hear. i think its important to socialize...but sometimes nobody can help you..see depression is like this invisible force which sticks to you. i think the biggest factors are loneliness, broken-heart, or when you stop to having goals in life and you lose your smile.
its complicated..could be anything.
im super friendly with people even when im very sad.
 

acintya

Legend
Yeah it's shocking when someone you know does this, we had a similar situation here earlier this year with a member of the tennis community. The thing is you never know what someone is going through, even if you think you know them fairly well.
yeah.nobody really knows your mind,not even your soul-mate wife.
 

tennishabit

Hall of Fame
A very active member of our tennis community took his life Wednesday night. Our group played tennis with him on Tuesday and he sat right next to me for drinks after.

His daughter is engaged to be married this summer and his son is graduating from high school this year and attending a very good university.

We are devastated.

If you are not feeling right please discuss with your friends and seek help.
2 guys in north shore syd here did the same ~a yr ago n 1 of them only like 20 yro. it seems only happened to marginalized tennis pro hopefuls:?))) but the person you said seemed well over mid age n might not be tennis related. a lot of young tennis hopefuls once got injured then all the dreams ended...........should've started tennis from very beginning as a wonderful fun/healthy/enjoyable routine instead of eyes on the 0.0001% chance to be a pro or world top # watava while truth's only good as any1 of the 99.9999% of the rest tennisers..............
 

LOBALOT

Hall of Fame
2 guys in north shore syd here did the same ~a yr ago n 1 of them only like 20 yro. it seems only happened to marginalized tennis pro hopefuls:?))) but the person you said seemed well over mid age n might not be tennis related. a lot of young tennis hopefuls once got injured then all the dreams ended...........should've started tennis from very beginning as a wonderful fun/healthy/enjoyable routine instead of eyes on the 0.0001% chance to be a pro or world top # watava while truth's only good as any1 of the 99.9999% of the rest tennisers..............
I am sorry to hear that.
 

tennishabit

Hall of Fame
I am sorry to hear that.
i'd say it's the sys here to blame, man............look at the drop rate among the kids/adults who tried tennis, "it's not my thing" after paid watava 'coaches' 'camps' 'blabla....blas'.................but still not bad at all for those who swiftly switched to other 'their things'. much much better than the only handful die-hard 'it'll be my thing' 1s who ended up full of sweat/tears/injuries/$$$drains/etcetcetc/watava-u-call-it:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:...................
 

ollinger

G.O.A.T.
i'd say it's the sys here to blame, man............look at the drop rate among the kids/adults who tried tennis, "it's not my thing" after paid watava 'coaches' 'camps' 'blabla....blas'.................but still not bad at all for those who swiftly switched to other 'their things'. much much better than the only handful die-hard 'it'll be my thing' 1s who ended up full of sweat/tears/injuries/$$$drains/etcetcetc/watava-u-call-it
Fairly bewildering post, but if you're saying "the sys(tem)" is to blame because some young tennis players don't succeed at a high level, then I suppose the concept of individual responsibility has sadly vanished.
 

tennishabit

Hall of Fame
Fairly bewildering post, but if you're saying "the sys(tem)" is to blame because some young tennis players don't succeed at a high level, then I suppose the concept of individual responsibility has sadly vanished.
watava happened is long gone n fact's fact n no one can reverse dat n no way to summon them back n accuse watava responsibility of theirs, man........they've gone for good. n for peace of their own, ie 'rip' we fair well them every now n then as outsiders. the problem's the horrible impact on their families n beloved 1s, man8-B8-B8-B8-B8-B8-B8-B8-B.......................

1 of the 2 young guys was todd reid, once well know tennis prodigy n wimb junior champ then pro toured to his highest atp~100. the other 1 only ~20yo, a young coach in our club n his father's head coach who coached him most of his childhood. wata waste, man:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:......................
 

movdqa

Talk Tennis Guru
I need to get back to a friend who has been talking about it for a while. I've just been very busy for two weeks. She gave me her contact person in case I don't hear from her for a while. A lot of people feel comfortable talking to you about death and dying when you've been there yourself. On people with depression: there are signs if you're close enough and know them well-enough. I do think that people call out for help.
 

ollinger

G.O.A.T.
I do think that people call out for help
60 percent of completed (the term is preferred to "successful") suicides have spoken about the subject to either a friend or a clinician in the preceding three months, per most studies of this, though the conversation is not always a clear or even muddled call for help
 

movdqa

Talk Tennis Guru
60 percent of completed (the term is preferred to "successful") suicides have spoken about the subject to either a friend or a clinician in the preceding three months, per most studies of this, though the conversation is not always a clear or even muddled call for help
That sounds reasonable, and thanks for finding the number.

We're in a physically disconnected age and I think that some of the cues you see in person don't show up online.
 
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