Bender
G.O.A.T.
Figured this would be a waste to just share with a few select posters
I strongly recommend you put this song on in the background as you read
The average poster
Tennis, reality
>Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference
>But we as TW posters
>Have a responsibility to these mods...Psych!
The cherry picking statician (@AnOctorokForDinner, @vive le beau jeu !, @Gary Duane):
>If I were to lie, deceive with false stats tomorrow
>Would you feel sorrow, or show love? Or would it matter?
>Could never really add up numbers
>If there ain't stats for me to feed off, I'm see-saw baitin'
>But there's way too much at stake for me to be fake
>Novak's stats are his fate
>My stats came way too far in this game to turn and walk away
>And not say what I got to say
>What the f*ck you take stats for, a joke? You smoking crack?
>'Fore I do that, I would beg Pascal to take me back
>I'll get up 'fore I get down
>Crunch numbers in the ground, 'fore I post some wack sh*t out
>I'm tryna smack this one out the park: five-forty mark
>Y'all stupid tryna con a shark
>Ain't gon' do nothing but get me off
>Gotta cite Novak's whip-ass, just p*ss them off
>See me leap out, post a piece out
>F*ck crunching, I get geometric mean out
>F*ck with me now, b*tch; let's see you compile!
>Talk is cheap, biased fanboy, if you really hurtin' cherry pick
>Yo, Lew, you gon' let them get away with that?
>He tried to play you, you can't calculate with that
>Man, I hate these stats, this ain't maths
>This is crazy, the way we act when we confuse numbers
>With real life when statistics stop
The Rafan (@mike danny, @tennis_pro, @vive le beau jeu !, @stringertom, @Shroud, @Chadalina, @MichaelNadal, @Raphael Nadal)
>Ain't no getting rid of Rafa, if so, Fed would've tried
>The only way he's leaving this field is to retire
>He's injured clinically
>Arrived back at his enemies' crib with busted knees
>Got hurt then they finished him
>He's every Fedfan's favorite archenemy
>Physically fitted to be the most dangerous playa who's beef
>I spark willingly, like Toni Nadal in the dark, diligently
>I'm not what you think, I appear to be f*cked up
>Mentally in danger; I can't stay away from Ralph Nader
>I just want his face in the paper
>I wish a poster had Gatorade to hold tight to
>align bottles for acres
>I'll murder you; you laughed at marriage withdrawal like a mad man
>Fan of Fed? Fraud, I'm factual
>I'm allergic to lying – you think not?
>You got bias? We can see how large, when devotees stop
The casual fan
>I was happy having a sport at first
>Thought tennis would make me happy
>But it only made my pain worse
>It hurts when you see the fans
>Turn their back on you, dawg
>And you ain't got nothing left but your word and the trolls
>And you're stressed from the posts of your new fans
> Beggin' with their hands out, checking for H2H when Bull's playin'
>When he ain't, that's the end: no likes, no fans, no (Olympic) golds
>just the gild you dream till your head spin
>You think "Banned!" when you slam into his words, takes its toll
>Fight the spar and try to brawl with your own
>I'm 'bout to lose all to this pool of Fedfan trolls
>If my perm-ban is tomorrow
>Wonder if they'd even call? When the rapport stops
The Health / Fitness poster (@J011yroger, @heninfan99)
>Let's see how many of you men look oiled
>When I pull up looking for you with a dumbbell
>Rubbing a shot of benzoyl
>I'm pumped up; who said what? When drug bust
>My head just explode with white stuff, I'm damn buff
>Tossed in the paddy-wagon
>Laughing about how Rafa's arms like a coward
>Arby's devoured you, fattened you posters
>If I was you posters, I'd run while given the chance
>Understand, I can enhance the muscles of man
>Death itself, it can't hurt me
>Just the thought of cutting alone that really irks me
>You ain't worthy to speak thoughts of PED talk
>Be smart and stop tryna talk how gyms work before we squawk
>Hug the floor while we playing curl-of-war with your life
>F*ck the tour and that sh*te, I'd rather stab Vietcongs with a knife
>Deliver that sh*t Sylvester like
>You hype, popping squats in broad daylight
>Poster, you're a goner at night; when the lifting stops
The condescending troll (@Red Rick, @Robert Baratheon, @StANDAA, @Sysyphus, @Gary Duane, @TheGhostOfAgassi)
>Instigators turn posts to baiters
>Post loose and bait the neighbors; wits to moderators
>Y'all don't want war, y'all want talk
>In the threads, my posts all bark, like, "Woof!"
>Proof, poster, I'm a wolf
>Get your whole truth caved in, like Rafan goofs
>Stop the bullsh*t, shake the topics loose
>The more y'all seethe, sh*t, the more I moves
>Kiss my feet, I'm a hardcore dude
>Post a comeback, I'll downvote all your views
>Or change my views, but you all y'all noobs
>When the inbox pop, you better drop, when the hammer drops
The nostalgic tennis fan (@ByeByePoly, @Shroud)
>Tennis has changed my life in so many ways
>Brain's confused, been f*cked since the Stone Age
>Troll Mats told me "Rafa has balls"
>McEnroe said "pass the powder," now brain's impaired
>Ninety-three was strictly Agassi
>F*cked up haircut, beat off to peak Steffi
>Petros Sampras – who gon' tell me I ain't Pete?
>Chest hairs through my whites, throwing up on court tonight
>Flying down memories, smoking crack
>Transvestite in the front, Margaret Court in the back
>Peak Rusty had me grimey and gritty
>Serena Williams: I had a daughter, and grew some booty
>Federer told me to wear them bows
>Now I'm in the comments with a crooked nose
>Like Djokovic's elbow
>Voices in my head, I'm going in shock
>I'm reaching for the clock, but my memory stops
I strongly recommend you put this song on in the background as you read
The average poster
Tennis, reality
>Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference
>But we as TW posters
>Have a responsibility to these mods...Psych!
The cherry picking statician (@AnOctorokForDinner, @vive le beau jeu !, @Gary Duane):
>If I were to lie, deceive with false stats tomorrow
>Would you feel sorrow, or show love? Or would it matter?
>Could never really add up numbers
>If there ain't stats for me to feed off, I'm see-saw baitin'
>But there's way too much at stake for me to be fake
>Novak's stats are his fate
>My stats came way too far in this game to turn and walk away
>And not say what I got to say
>What the f*ck you take stats for, a joke? You smoking crack?
>'Fore I do that, I would beg Pascal to take me back
>I'll get up 'fore I get down
>Crunch numbers in the ground, 'fore I post some wack sh*t out
>I'm tryna smack this one out the park: five-forty mark
>Y'all stupid tryna con a shark
>Ain't gon' do nothing but get me off
>Gotta cite Novak's whip-ass, just p*ss them off
>See me leap out, post a piece out
>F*ck crunching, I get geometric mean out
>F*ck with me now, b*tch; let's see you compile!
>Talk is cheap, biased fanboy, if you really hurtin' cherry pick
>Yo, Lew, you gon' let them get away with that?
>He tried to play you, you can't calculate with that
>Man, I hate these stats, this ain't maths
>This is crazy, the way we act when we confuse numbers
>With real life when statistics stop
The Rafan (@mike danny, @tennis_pro, @vive le beau jeu !, @stringertom, @Shroud, @Chadalina, @MichaelNadal, @Raphael Nadal)
>Ain't no getting rid of Rafa, if so, Fed would've tried
>The only way he's leaving this field is to retire
>He's injured clinically
>Arrived back at his enemies' crib with busted knees
>Got hurt then they finished him
>He's every Fedfan's favorite archenemy
>Physically fitted to be the most dangerous playa who's beef
>I spark willingly, like Toni Nadal in the dark, diligently
>I'm not what you think, I appear to be f*cked up
>Mentally in danger; I can't stay away from Ralph Nader
>I just want his face in the paper
>I wish a poster had Gatorade to hold tight to
>align bottles for acres
>I'll murder you; you laughed at marriage withdrawal like a mad man
>Fan of Fed? Fraud, I'm factual
>I'm allergic to lying – you think not?
>You got bias? We can see how large, when devotees stop
The casual fan
>I was happy having a sport at first
>Thought tennis would make me happy
>But it only made my pain worse
>It hurts when you see the fans
>Turn their back on you, dawg
>And you ain't got nothing left but your word and the trolls
>And you're stressed from the posts of your new fans
> Beggin' with their hands out, checking for H2H when Bull's playin'
>When he ain't, that's the end: no likes, no fans, no (Olympic) golds
>just the gild you dream till your head spin
>You think "Banned!" when you slam into his words, takes its toll
>Fight the spar and try to brawl with your own
>I'm 'bout to lose all to this pool of Fedfan trolls
>If my perm-ban is tomorrow
>Wonder if they'd even call? When the rapport stops
The Health / Fitness poster (@J011yroger, @heninfan99)
>Let's see how many of you men look oiled
>When I pull up looking for you with a dumbbell
>Rubbing a shot of benzoyl
>I'm pumped up; who said what? When drug bust
>My head just explode with white stuff, I'm damn buff
>Tossed in the paddy-wagon
>Laughing about how Rafa's arms like a coward
>Arby's devoured you, fattened you posters
>If I was you posters, I'd run while given the chance
>Understand, I can enhance the muscles of man
>Death itself, it can't hurt me
>Just the thought of cutting alone that really irks me
>You ain't worthy to speak thoughts of PED talk
>Be smart and stop tryna talk how gyms work before we squawk
>Hug the floor while we playing curl-of-war with your life
>F*ck the tour and that sh*te, I'd rather stab Vietcongs with a knife
>Deliver that sh*t Sylvester like
>You hype, popping squats in broad daylight
>Poster, you're a goner at night; when the lifting stops
The condescending troll (@Red Rick, @Robert Baratheon, @StANDAA, @Sysyphus, @Gary Duane, @TheGhostOfAgassi)
>Instigators turn posts to baiters
>Post loose and bait the neighbors; wits to moderators
>Y'all don't want war, y'all want talk
>In the threads, my posts all bark, like, "Woof!"
>Proof, poster, I'm a wolf
>Get your whole truth caved in, like Rafan goofs
>Stop the bullsh*t, shake the topics loose
>The more y'all seethe, sh*t, the more I moves
>Kiss my feet, I'm a hardcore dude
>Post a comeback, I'll downvote all your views
>Or change my views, but you all y'all noobs
>When the inbox pop, you better drop, when the hammer drops
The nostalgic tennis fan (@ByeByePoly, @Shroud)
>Tennis has changed my life in so many ways
>Brain's confused, been f*cked since the Stone Age
>Troll Mats told me "Rafa has balls"
>McEnroe said "pass the powder," now brain's impaired
>Ninety-three was strictly Agassi
>F*cked up haircut, beat off to peak Steffi
>Petros Sampras – who gon' tell me I ain't Pete?
>Chest hairs through my whites, throwing up on court tonight
>Flying down memories, smoking crack
>Transvestite in the front, Margaret Court in the back
>Peak Rusty had me grimey and gritty
>Serena Williams: I had a daughter, and grew some booty
>Federer told me to wear them bows
>Now I'm in the comments with a crooked nose
>Like Djokovic's elbow
>Voices in my head, I'm going in shock
>I'm reaching for the clock, but my memory stops
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