RichVentura
Rookie
I just competed in my club's mixed doubles tournament in the finals. My doubles team won, but I struggled with this match.
We took the first set 6-1 and we dominated. I was able to play aggressively and impose my will on the other team.
But in the second set the other team stopped hitting the ball to me and attacked my female partner, and they made some good shots and my partner did not return them. Her confidence waned. The momentum switched. I grew frustrated and started making some mistakes, as did my partner. We lost the second set 6-3. Ignominious.
We then got our wind back and pushed hard (me more than my partner) in the super tiebreaker to win 10-7, and take the match. On match point I ran all the way across the court to her side and smashed a sitter. Relief.
It was frustrating. In men's 4.5 doubles everyone pretty much plays all-out all the time. Numerous times I have had my mixed doubles partner almost implode, and in men's doubles I rarely have to be "understanding" with my partner. My female mixed doubles partner once told me another man was an "understanding" doubles partner, and I have never heard a man praise that in his doubles partner -- most men have less of that need, I suspect. We just sort of play hard and win or lose. In mixed doubles it is more complicated, and I sort of dislike it.
It is even more complicated because my mixed doubles partner is a good friend and I really don't want to offend her. Is it unfair to ask her to play "more like a man"? To play more aggressively and just go for it.
Is it OK to just not play mixed doubles? We men and women share the same tennis community and have to get along, I guess. I suspect it would not be taken well if men just kind of refuse to compete with the women. On the other hand, most 4.5 men I know don't play mixed doubles, or kind of resist it and play reluctantly.
Most women I suspect don't want to play with the men. But the better female tennis players seem to like mixed doubles.
I would be happy and appreciative to hear any sensitive feedback from wise tennis veterans.
Before I went to sleep last night I was watching some professional mixed doubles on the Tennis Channel and the female commentator (a former pro) said, "The difference in mixed doubles is the woman. When one team attacks the woman on the other side of the net, the difference is how that woman responds to the attack." As a man, why play in this dynamic?
I suspect the answer is: just enjoy the tennis and social dimension without getting too competitive. But this is hard for me. I almost always play in USTA leagues with men where we play to win.
We took the first set 6-1 and we dominated. I was able to play aggressively and impose my will on the other team.
But in the second set the other team stopped hitting the ball to me and attacked my female partner, and they made some good shots and my partner did not return them. Her confidence waned. The momentum switched. I grew frustrated and started making some mistakes, as did my partner. We lost the second set 6-3. Ignominious.
We then got our wind back and pushed hard (me more than my partner) in the super tiebreaker to win 10-7, and take the match. On match point I ran all the way across the court to her side and smashed a sitter. Relief.
It was frustrating. In men's 4.5 doubles everyone pretty much plays all-out all the time. Numerous times I have had my mixed doubles partner almost implode, and in men's doubles I rarely have to be "understanding" with my partner. My female mixed doubles partner once told me another man was an "understanding" doubles partner, and I have never heard a man praise that in his doubles partner -- most men have less of that need, I suspect. We just sort of play hard and win or lose. In mixed doubles it is more complicated, and I sort of dislike it.
It is even more complicated because my mixed doubles partner is a good friend and I really don't want to offend her. Is it unfair to ask her to play "more like a man"? To play more aggressively and just go for it.
Is it OK to just not play mixed doubles? We men and women share the same tennis community and have to get along, I guess. I suspect it would not be taken well if men just kind of refuse to compete with the women. On the other hand, most 4.5 men I know don't play mixed doubles, or kind of resist it and play reluctantly.
Most women I suspect don't want to play with the men. But the better female tennis players seem to like mixed doubles.
I would be happy and appreciative to hear any sensitive feedback from wise tennis veterans.
Before I went to sleep last night I was watching some professional mixed doubles on the Tennis Channel and the female commentator (a former pro) said, "The difference in mixed doubles is the woman. When one team attacks the woman on the other side of the net, the difference is how that woman responds to the attack." As a man, why play in this dynamic?
I suspect the answer is: just enjoy the tennis and social dimension without getting too competitive. But this is hard for me. I almost always play in USTA leagues with men where we play to win.
Last edited: