MURRAY HIRES PSYCHIATRIST ! SHOCK PROBE !!

JonnyMac

JonnyMac

Hall of Fame
Well guys as usual I was wrong. I'm not sure if ANY of you have noticed. But I've been banging on and on about how awful Murray is, just like a one trick pony. AND I KNOW IT !

I thought that the Bum himself would not be reading my erudition and scholarly insights into his play. I thought he'd put me on ignore along with everyone else.

But NO ! It seems the top guys do read our posts ! Who would not want advice from, Stringer Tom, Scentinell, Underhand, ArcSpace. And of course the cleverest smartypantz of them all Twitwan.....

Anyway, FINALLY Andy has taken my advice and hired of all things a top psychiatrist to help with his game !

You read it here first guys !
images


Not only is Murray rubbish at tennis - he's also insane....

Well I never...
 
Poisoned Slice

Poisoned Slice

Bionic Poster
What would you do if your blood glucose level fell below 4.0? Who would you tell?

Eat something, get sugar into me and I'd tell nobody.

Ok, you're good to go.
 
Sysyphus

Sysyphus

Talk Tennis Guru
The Freud—Murray diaries: Part 1

Andy-Murray-4-2sep13_pa_HP_bt_128x128.jpg
freud.png


Freud: So, Andy, tell me about your mother.
Murray: Dude, you've been going at that non-stop for 10 minutes now! I'm not going to give you her number...
Freud: Oh, well. Maybe we can bring her in for family therapy, then? And bring along Deliciano as well. I sense an Oedipus-complex that needs resolving. It's no coincidence that you demolish Deliciano every time you get the chance, just like Oedipus killed his papa.
Murray: Stop it! I'm not here to talk about pap... err.. Lopez. I'm here to talk about my tennis.
Freud: Ah, yes! The tennis. Sometimes a racquet is just a racquet, and a couple of fuzzy yellow balls just tennis balls; but sometimes it is very much the sublimated envy of the penis, ya?
Murray: This is preposterous! And you'd surely know, wouldn't you, with all your cigars.
Freud: Don't worry, son. At least you have progressed to the phallic stage. That Spaniard I treated last week still very much suffered from the anal fixation, ya? A curious case to say the least.
Murray: I don't even.... But anyways: You need to help me with how to finally beat Novak. I need to beat all his possum tricks and evil ploys. How do I get inside his head?
Freud: Oh, that's easy. You sleep with his mother, ya?
Murray: That's it, I'm out of here!:mad:
 
Sysyphus

Sysyphus

Talk Tennis Guru
The Freud—Murray diaries: Part 2

Andy-Murray-4-2sep13_pa_HP_bt_128x128.jpg
freud.png



Murray: Hey Freud, I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that last summer, before I went to play Cincy, I had planned to take a buss-trip to Pittsburgh. The ticket agent was particularly well endowed, and instead of asking her for a ticket to Pittsburgh, I asked her for for a ticket to Titsburgh. So embarassing...
Freud: Oh, these Freudian slips are perfectly normal, Andrew. In fact, this morning while sitting at breakfast with my wife, instead of saying, 'Honey, could you please pass the salt', I somehow said, 'You f*cking b*tch, you ruined my life.'" Just one of those tiny slips of the tongue, you know...
Murray: Okay, sure...
Freud: Hey, Andy, do you want to hear a joke? Why did Pavlov have such smooth hair?
Murray: I have no idea?
Freud: Classical conditioning!
Murray: I'm wasting my time here..
Freud: Wait, Andy, just one more joke before you leave. *Knock, knock!*
Murray: Who's there?
Freud: Yo' Mama!
Murray: Dammit Freud!!
 
stringertom

stringertom

Bionic Poster
Deliciano is so yesterday...Judmoo has moved along to fresh young hunk Taylor Fritz, who is already prepared to mess up hairy Andy's mind. Now, if he has to sleep with Taylor's mom to conquer him, at least he'll get good coaching...she was a three-time slam QFist!
 
B

bullfan

Legend
J

JRAJ1988

Guest
ruerooo said:
You make it sound like that's a bad thing. I'm thinking there are more than a few in this forum who wouldn't be the worse for a turn on the old insight couch.
Click to expand...

I just didn't expect sports persons to go down those routes.

Talking of that subject I've had hypnotherapy for stage fright (Musician), it works to an extent but one could have done the same thing whilst meditating!

90s Clay on an old insight couch :)
 
B

bullfan

Legend
JRAJ1988 said:
I just didn't expect sports persons to go down those routes.

Talking of that subject I've had hypnotherapy for stage fright (Musician), it works to an extent but one could have done the same thing whilst meditating!

90s Clay on an old insight couch :)
Click to expand...

Have you not heard of sports psychologists? It is not a new profession. It is simply the elephant on the room for athletes. Acknowledging the use can provide opponents leverage.

Rumor has it most top athletes use them in one form or another, even if not publicly acknowledged.
 
Poisoned Slice

Poisoned Slice

Bionic Poster
bullfan said:
Have you not heard of sports psychologists? It is not a new profession. It is simply the elephant on the room for athletes. Acknowledging the use can provide opponents leverage.

Rumor has it most top athletes use them in one form or another, even if not publicly acknowledged.
Click to expand...

I'm sure.

They always bring it up when Ronnie O'Sullivan is playing snooker on BBC, wondering when Ronnie is going to need his Dr. next, or what the Dr. can do during the interval. I've heard them mentioned during football matches as well.
 
stringertom

stringertom

Bionic Poster
JRAJ1988 said:
I just didn't expect sports persons to go down those routes.

Talking of that subject I've had hypnotherapy for stage fright (Musician), it works to an extent but one could have done the same thing whilst meditating!

90s Clay on an old insight couch :)
Click to expand...
XC's Terre de Battue bought low when 60's Weed was $20/oz.:eek:
 
Sentinel

Sentinel

Bionic Poster
JRAJ1988 said:
I just didn't expect sports persons to go down those routes.

Talking of that subject I've had hypnotherapy for stage fright (Musician), it works to an extent but one could have done the same thing whilst meditating!
:)
Click to expand...
Just imagine that your audience is sitting in their underwear.

You're welcome.
 
West Coast Ace

West Coast Ace

G.O.A.T.
merwy said:
Is this for real or another joke thread? Source?
Click to expand...
Bad trolling.

And old news. There was a thread in General many months ago. He has seen the sports psychiatrist for a long time. I remember he mentioned having a session before heading off to Australia.
 
V

Vrad

Professional
Considering tennis is such a mental game, I think it's stupid that pros dont seek out professionals to help with the mental side.

It's extremely common in many other sports (although those are largely team sports, so maybe there is less stigma since the entire team is seeing the professional).

That being said, this thread is hilarious. Esp. the Freud-Murray diaries.
 
JonnyMac

JonnyMac

Hall of Fame
Indeed. But you make a very valid point. Tennis is played more in the mind than it is within the body. And only a small amount of the tennis is actually on the court ..The court is just the measure and as such is almost irrelevant...

jumbles%20paragraph.png
 
JonnyMac

JonnyMac

Hall of Fame
West Coast Ace said:
Bad trolling.

And old news. There was a thread in General many months ago. He has seen the sports psychiatrist for a long time. I remember he mentioned having a session before heading off to Australia.
Click to expand...

Everyone sees sport Psychologists. Psychologists measure, Psychiatrists diagnose. There is a difference though it is small. Mostly both are useless....
Like asking a chef to fix your car ....

Murray needs more than a session - he needs ongoing work. Murray should not be scared of Djokovic ! He can beat him anytime. Murray needs to be worried about himself ...Murray kicks Andys butt - big time ....There are a few of them in there ....
 
JonnyMac

JonnyMac

Hall of Fame
Sysyphus said:
The Freud—Murray diaries: Part 2

Andy-Murray-4-2sep13_pa_HP_bt_128x128.jpg
freud.png



Murray: Hey Freud, I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that last summer, before I went to play Cincy, I had planned to take a buss-trip to Pittsburgh. The ticket agent was particularly well endowed, and instead of asking her for a ticket to Pittsburgh, I asked her for for a ticket to Titsburgh. So embarassing...
Freud: Oh, these Freudian slips are perfectly normal, Andrew. In fact, this morning while sitting at breakfast with my wife, instead of saying, 'Honey, could you please pass the salt', I somehow said, 'You f*cking b*tch, you ruined my life.'" Just one of those tiny slips of the tongue, you know...
Murray: Okay, sure...
Freud: Hey, Andy, do you want to hear a joke? Why did Pavlov have such smooth hair?
Murray: I have no idea?
Freud: Classical conditioning!
Murray: I'm wasting my time here..
Freud: Wait, Andy, just one more joke before you leave. *Knock, knock!*
Murray: Who's there?
Freud: Yo' Mama!
Murray: Dammit Freud!!
Click to expand...


YO MAMA ! This is classic !
 
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