Need some opinions on what a coach said

FiReFTW

Legend
I will try to make it short

I used to go to group lessons once a week last year, on top of all the other things, group of 4, players were good, better than me, but I could somewhat compete with them
I got injured and in the past like 8 or 9 months I haven't played any tennis, I don't know if any of you had long injuries but hopefully someone can relate how it is after a long time like that off courts
Started slowly playing now
Decided to start going to those lessons again since they are dirt cheap, on top of playing with ppl I know

Went to 1 lesson last week, feels like those ppl improved quite a bit, well they did train alot for many months while I was injured.. me of course im out of shape and form, struggled, specially with their balls
Now I had another lesson this week also, felt like I got used to the balls and all a bit better alltho still quite poor everything, much worse than I played before my injury, but slowly improving
During training the coach started yelling at me to play better and that I need to focus more and its bad, and then started saying that other players improved alot in this time and I need to play better because they want to play like they know how to play and im wasting their time... and he kept saying that for many minutes that its a waste of time for them if I will play like this, that we can't have trainings anymore etc... and he knows WELL about my history in the past months and not playing and all that..

He kept saying all these things infront of everyone and it made me feel really bad and embarassed and pissed... so then I decided to leave... and he said are you done? good...

I just want to hear opinions from ppl here, what you think about all this? I was quite shocked and felt very embarassed by this and pissed and I feel like its not the right thing to say and go about, specially infront of other ppl and I feel very mad about it.. am I in the wrong here, I would like to hear your opinions
 

Dragy

Legend
What a jerk of a coach! I’d make some laugh if it didn’t cut a valid and desired training option for you.
What if you speak to other players in the group in a way like “WTF happened lol” - how they feel about it and about you participating in sessions and catching up as you play more?
What’s his authority in the group? Is he dominant and supervising for the young crowd? Or is he providing a service to clients with solid self-esteem? If former, better live this behind and maybe arrange some practice with those players individually. If the latter, you as a group may turn it all around - provided the group is happy with your participation.
 

dropshotlikeitshot

Professional
Start taking lessons with a different coach, this guy seems like a jerk. You did nothing wrong, you tried your best in the training and it will take time for you to get the timing and everything back. 8 months off is a long time, any decent coach would know and expect your level to be a bit poor. I agree with @sureshs, he should have told you in private and been more respectful. If I were him, I would have suggested a few private lessons to help you get your level back to where you can keep up with the other group members, so my suggestion is take privates with a different- and more respectful- coach, or perhaps arrange hitting sessions with other members of the group who are willing to help you get back up to speed.
 

3loudboys

G.O.A.T.
Deeply unprofessional and just plain rude. Dump him straight away and stop giving him any of your hard earned cash. Given your situation unforgivable behaviour and I felt myself getting angrier just reading it, what a bully. In any profession their is a code of conduct and if he were in the UK I'd report him to the LTA.

Shame you're not in London as I'd hit with you any day, and I think thats the route you should take. Arrange some fun hits with friends, work on fitness and if you want lessons source a reputed qualified coach for individuals.
 

keith2020

New User
My view is probably what you dont want to hear. You already knew going in that the ppl in the group were better even before your injury. You said it yourself. After the first lesson post injury, you also knew the group was much better than you. So you should have either started to work your butt off to improve to their level or bow out. I've been on the receiving end of significantly weaker players having the ego to think they are at the same level of an advanced group session and it frankly bothers the heck out of me because I get zero benefit and am wasting my time...

Remember everyone is paying to improve, not just you. In tennis the weakest link can become disruptive to the benefit of the group. Perhaps you were ignorant but from your message you already knew the level was above your head. So why are you slowing everyone else down??

Maybe the coach didnt approach it the right way, but I can guarantee everyone else there was thinking the same thing. I frankly applaud such coaches, because they care. I've seen way too many coaches look the other way because its a loss of revenue for them to disrupt the status quo, or because they want to be on friendly terms, or because they are so brain dead they just dont care. A good coach isnt your friend. They should 100% be focused on improvement... And to me that's what the coach did, focused on the betterment of the collective group as a whole.

Sorry!
 
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FiReFTW

Legend
I would be ok if he came to me in private and said look ur obviously not on the level u were and everyone has improved alot so I strongly suggest you really play for a few weeks and get some feel back and then we can see if you can join the group because currently I don't think its a good idea or beneficial for them considering ur level atm, but like this infront of everyone and almost belittling me and embarassing me... idk... I feelt very embarassed and pissed.
 

saiclone

New User
My view is probably what you dont want to hear. You already knew going in that the ppl in the group were better even before your injury. You said it yourself. After the first lesson post injury, you also knew the group was much better than you. So you should have either started to work your butt off to improve to their level or bow out. I've been on the receiving end of significantly weaker players having the ego to think they are at the same level of an advanced group session and it frankly bothers the heck out of me because I get zero benefit and am wasting my time...

Remember everyone is paying to improve, not just you. In tennis the weakest link can become disruptive to the benefit of the group. Perhaps you were ignorant but from your message you already knew the level was above your head. So why are you slowing everyone else down??

Maybe the coach didnt approach it the right way, but I can guarantee everyone else there was thinking the same thing. I frankly applaud such coaches, because they care. I've seen way too many coaches look the other way because its a loss of revenue for them to disrupt the status quo, or because they want to be on friendly terms, or because they are so brain dead they just dont care. A good coach isnt your friend. They should 100% be focused on improvement... And to me that's what the coach did, focused on the betterment of the collective group as a whole.

Sorry!
This is absolutely nonsense. There was no need for the coach to be a jerk.

If the coach felt you were not at the level of the lesson, all he needed to do was call you aside, give you back your money or ask you to join a more appropriate group.

This glorification of avoidable nastiness is irritating.

Sent from my CLT-L09 using Tapatalk
 

saiclone

New User
I would be ok if he came to me in private and said look ur obviously not on the level u were and everyone has improved alot so I strongly suggest you really play for a few weeks and get some feel back and then we can see if you can join the group because currently I don't think its a good idea or beneficial for them considering ur level atm, but like this infront of everyone and almost belittling me and embarassing me... idk... I feelt very embarassed and pissed.
Some people get a power trip off being jerks.

Give your money to someone that actually deserves it.

Sent from my CLT-L09 using Tapatalk
 

Happi

Hall of Fame
Use this as a driver to comeback even stronger, go for it and prove that he was wrong and you belong in the group. Get private lessons and improve. You can do it, keep fighting (y)

cheers, H :)
 

Nostradamus

Bionic Poster
I will try to make it short

I used to go to group lessons once a week last year, on top of all the other things, group of 4, players were good, better than me, but I could somewhat compete with them
I got injured and in the past like 8 or 9 months I haven't played any tennis, I don't know if any of you had long injuries but hopefully someone can relate how it is after a long time like that off courts
Started slowly playing now
Decided to start going to those lessons again since they are dirt cheap, on top of playing with ppl I know

Went to 1 lesson last week, feels like those ppl improved quite a bit, well they did train alot for many months while I was injured.. me of course im out of shape and form, struggled, specially with their balls
Now I had another lesson this week also, felt like I got used to the balls and all a bit better alltho still quite poor everything, much worse than I played before my injury, but slowly improving
During training the coach started yelling at me to play better and that I need to focus more and its bad, and then started saying that other players improved alot in this time and I need to play better because they want to play like they know how to play and im wasting their time... and he kept saying that for many minutes that its a waste of time for them if I will play like this, that we can't have trainings anymore etc... and he knows WELL about my history in the past months and not playing and all that..

He kept saying all these things infront of everyone and it made me feel really bad and embarassed and pissed... so then I decided to leave... and he said are you done? good...

I just want to hear opinions from ppl here, what you think about all this? I was quite shocked and felt very embarassed by this and pissed and I feel like its not the right thing to say and go about, specially infront of other ppl and I feel very mad about it.. am I in the wrong here, I would like to hear your opinions

Sue him for defemation of character. He is asking to be sued
 
D

Deleted member 769694

Guest
I will try to make it short

I used to go to group lessons once a week last year, on top of all the other things, group of 4, players were good, better than me, but I could somewhat compete with them
I got injured and in the past like 8 or 9 months I haven't played any tennis, I don't know if any of you had long injuries but hopefully someone can relate how it is after a long time like that off courts
Started slowly playing now
Decided to start going to those lessons again since they are dirt cheap, on top of playing with ppl I know

Went to 1 lesson last week, feels like those ppl improved quite a bit, well they did train alot for many months while I was injured.. me of course im out of shape and form, struggled, specially with their balls
Now I had another lesson this week also, felt like I got used to the balls and all a bit better alltho still quite poor everything, much worse than I played before my injury, but slowly improving
During training the coach started yelling at me to play better and that I need to focus more and its bad, and then started saying that other players improved alot in this time and I need to play better because they want to play like they know how to play and im wasting their time... and he kept saying that for many minutes that its a waste of time for them if I will play like this, that we can't have trainings anymore etc... and he knows WELL about my history in the past months and not playing and all that..

He kept saying all these things infront of everyone and it made me feel really bad and embarassed and pissed... so then I decided to leave... and he said are you done? good...

I just want to hear opinions from ppl here, what you think about all this? I was quite shocked and felt very embarassed by this and pissed and I feel like its not the right thing to say and go about, specially infront of other ppl and I feel very mad about it.. am I in the wrong here, I would like to hear your opinions

Schedule a lesson at 7am and dont show up :p

Your coach is very unprofessional. Trying hard and focus are things hacker coaches tell students, real coaches give mechanical advice that actually fix the problem.

Can your coach actually play or he someone who "reads" about how to hit a certain shot?
 

S&V-not_dead_yet

Talk Tennis Guru
@FiReFTW

Not quite sure what his motivation was: if it really was to eliminate you from the group because you were dragging everyone else down, there are certainly better ways to go about it [although, from his standpoint, what he did worked]. Maybe he wanted the spot for someone else? Maybe he's taking whatever frustrations he has out on you?

You may never figure it out. But if he doesn't want you around, then take your $ and dedication and passion and go elsewhere. You might still arrange to hit with the others in the group.

Most importantly, don't take it personally. It's another sling and arrow of outrageous fortune and you have to roll with it. Don't try to justify yourself to him or feel bad; it's his problem, not yours. Continue on the tennis journey on a different path.
 

1stVolley

Professional
Forget this guy like many of the posters have already said. I would also reexamine your need for a coach. First, if your technique and understanding of the fundamentals were sound, the only need for coaching at this point in your recovery would be for a hitting session. The coach would serve as a very consistent hitting partner, basically helping to get your conditioning and timing back to where it was. However, if your technique was very faulty before your layoff, I would work without a coach to boost your conditioning so that when you started lessons you wouldn't be hampered by always being out of breath or very sluggish footwork. And speaking of the latter, look into agility ladder drills on YouTube to address your conditioning and footwork. IMHO, footwork is even more important than technique because if you can't get in proper position to hit the ball all you will do is improvise and improvisation overrides the best technique.

Remember, too, that with private or group coaching you must both remember what you've been told and practice it, ideally at least 4 hrs of practice for every hour of coaching. If you don't practice enough coaching will just be a waste of money. During the coaching session your technique may change but that change will not stick unless you quickly establish it in muscle memory. And remembering what you've been told during a lesson isn't so simple as it sounds if you just think you can trust your memory to recall everything. I'd suggest that, ideally, you videotape your session (with sound). Otherwise, write down everything you can remember asap after the session and email this to your coach to make sure you got it correctly and didn't leave anything important out. Having that written record is also important when you want to review technique weeks or months after your lessons.
 

SystemicAnomaly

Bionic Poster
snowflakes!

Hope you guys will get wiped out by global warming.
Way too much red meat, methinks. Spoken like a true hardcore dog-eat-dog carnivore.
29373.jpg
 

keith2020

New User
This is absolutely nonsense. There was no need for the coach to be a jerk.

If the coach felt you were not at the level of the lesson, all he needed to do was call you aside, give you back your money or ask you to join a more appropriate group.

This glorification of avoidable nastiness is irritating.

Sent from my CLT-L09 using Tapatalk

What is nonsense is people who have such inflated egos and think they are so much better then they actually are and join groups they shouldn't be in. I see this 1000x more than the coach who is on a "power trip". In fact, from my experience the vast majority of coaches focus on the wrong thing ie being your buddy, not rocking the boat, saying things players want to hear and not what they need to hear, keeping people in groups where they dont belong, etc. and this ultimately means the real goal of improvement is out the window. In fact such behavior propagates the wrong message and more ego stroking... Its why in general coaching has become so bad, and good coaches leave the industry or just focus on high performance ITF/ATP/WTA players... Whats left are coaches who dont significantly improve your game and frankly are just stealing from you. If you want a friend get a dog. If you want to improve you should get a coach.

I dont know all the particulars of this, but its clear that the hints are all there that the person didnt belong in the group probably from the start and definitely after everyone else improved. That to me is the key statement, "everyone else significantly improved". This coach is one of the rare good ones focused on the right thing and not politics/revenue maximization. The person needs to get over his/her ego and get to work to improve to belong.

Possibly the embarrassment wasnt called for but then again it seems the person posted here to only hear what they wanted to hear and repair their damaged inflated ego.

Ok I'm done ranting....
 
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AlexSV

Semi-Pro
What is nonsense is people who have such inflated egos and think they are so much better then they actually are and join groups they shouldn't be in. I see this 1000x more than the coach who is on a "power trip". In fact, from my experience the vast majority of coaches focus on the wrong thing ie being your buddy, not rocking the boat, saying things players want to hear and not what they need to hear, keeping people in groups where they dont belong, etc. and this ultimately means the real goal of improvement is out the window. In fact such behavior propagates the wrong message and more ego stroking... Its why in general coaching has become so bad, and good coaches leave the industry or just focus on high performance ITF/ATP/WTA players... Whats left are coaches who dont significantly improve your game and frankly are just stealing from you. If you want a friend get a dog. If you want to improve you should get a coach.

I dont know all the particulars of this, but its clear that the hints are all there that the person didnt belong in the group probably from the start and definitely after everyone else improved. That to me is the key statement, "everyone else significantly improved". This coach is one of the rare good ones focused on the right thing and not politics/revenue maximization. The person needs to get over his/her ego and get to work to improve to belong.

Possibly the embarrassment wasnt called for but then again it seems the person posted here to only hear what they wanted to hear and repair their damaged inflated ego.

Ok I'm done ranting....

I don't like the coach being my buddy. A lot of group lessons are ruined by the coaching being everyone's buddy because they won't be honest with people who should not be joining the class.

Usually, you have to ask for someone to give it to you straight. I get my lessons from a grumpy eastern European who does not sugar coat it.
 
What is nonsense is people who have such inflated egos and think they are so much better then they actually are and join groups they shouldn't be in. I see this 1000x more than the coach who is on a "power trip". In fact, from my experience the vast majority of coaches focus on the wrong thing ie being your buddy, not rocking the boat, saying things players want to hear and not what they need to hear, keeping people in groups where they dont belong, etc. and this ultimately means the real goal of improvement is out the window. In fact such behavior propagates the wrong message and more ego stroking... Its why in general coaching has become so bad, and good coaches leave the industry or just focus on high performance ITF/ATP/WTA players... Whats left are coaches who dont significantly improve your game and frankly are just stealing from you. If you want a friend get a dog. If you want to improve you should get a coach.

I dont know all the particulars of this, but its clear that the hints are all there that the person didnt belong in the group probably from the start and definitely after everyone else improved. That to me is the key statement, "everyone else significantly improved". This coach is one of the rare good ones focused on the right thing and not politics/revenue maximization. The person needs to get over his/her ego and get to work to improve to belong.

Possibly the embarrassment wasnt called for but then again it seems the person posted here to only hear what they wanted to hear and repair their damaged inflated ego.

Ok I'm done ranting....

I totally agree with you that there definitely can be a problem with people joining skill levels they aren't ready for and coaches not saying **** about it, but you do understand the concept of professionalism right? This is absolutely something that a coach can pull you aside for and talk to you about it. I think there are some coaches who thrive on this idea of being a feared drill sergeant rather than being an instructor or coordinator.
 

Knox

Semi-Pro
Dude, **** that guy.

TBH, I'd go full Karen on this guy. Lodge a complaint with his superior and withdraw your patronage. I hate saying stuff like this, but: he needs to learn his lesson.
 

AlexSV

Semi-Pro
For the record, I have had more coaches in my life fall into this category than the buddy-buddy coach. You have two options. One, put in more effort and people will lay off when they see the effort. Two, work harder and smack talk right back.

Edit: Three, leave and prove them right.
 

mad dog1

G.O.A.T.
I totally agree with you that there definitely can be a problem with people joining skill levels they aren't ready for and coaches not saying **** about it, but you do understand the concept of professionalism right? This is absolutely something that a coach can pull you aside for and talk to you about it. I think there are some coaches who thrive on this idea of being a feared drill sergeant rather than being an instructor or coordinator.
we are only hearing the story from one side. And from my experience, there’s typically another side which might recount the details differently. Unfortunately in this case we won’t get the chance to hear from the other side.
 
we are only hearing the story from one side. And from my experience, there’s typically another side which might recount the details differently. Unfortunately in this case we won’t get the chance to hear from the other side.

Obviously there are two sides of the story, but the story isn't exactly riddled with things that make me question the believe-ability of it. So I'm taking it at face value. It is also hard for me to think of things that can warrant a verbal lashing.
 

mad dog1

G.O.A.T.
Obviously there are two sides of the story, but the story isn't exactly riddled with things that make me question the believe-ability of it. So I'm taking it at face value. It is also hard for me to think of things that can warrant a verbal lashing.
Actually it does...you just haven’t been around long enough.
 
I’m not being condescending. I saw you joined recently in your profile and based on that, said you have not been around long enough.

Long enough for what though? What about being in the forums would allow me to understand this enigma of a situation? You clearly don't believe something in the OP's story, so say what you think so my newbie brain could understand.

EDIT: Twas explained to me.
 
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rogerroger917

Hall of Fame
Its just not acceptable behavior.

Like it or not. The coach is an educator. He might imagine himself a big shot tennis pro but the reality is he feeds tennis balls to rec adult tennis players.

As an educator he needs to understand that this is important to the students. And he has to be able to deal with personal and emotion issues of each student differently.

If this happened to me I would wreck that burger flipper in relation to his profession in the area.

Sent from my SM-G986U using Tapatalk
 

E46luver

Professional
Coach did not handle it correctly, but maybe he was trying to motivate Fire?
Could it be a misunderstanding?

How exactly were you playing poorly? Bunting? Blasting to fence?
Doubles? Or was it feeds? How exactly was your poor hitting affecting the other players?

In my area, coaches and clinics and hitting partners are plentiful.
I've told one coach to go pound sand when he insisted his overpriced clinics were the only way to improve.
In reality, clinics are the last place to correct strokes and get personal feedback.

The issue Fire is going to have is that he's in a small isolated tennis world.
He was lucky to find a group where he's the weak link.
He may not have many other group options that are not total crap.
Outdoor courts are loaded with no shirt, 1987 Prince Pro racket with original strings, beer drinking, flip flop wearing, radio blasting , dog chewed tennis ball players playing tennis with yoga pant girlfriend.
Private clubs are loaded with dedicated 3.0 and 3.5, predominantly.
Advanced 4.0+ players are rare to find.

Your strokes will come back after 10 sessions or a few weeks.
Once you improve to old levels, I would call those players for hitting.
Fire will know if the players agree with the coach when he asks them to hit individually.
The coach can go to hell, either way
 
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