Please elaborate then what you wrote means. My reasoning is as follows - maybe you can clarify where it is wrong.
if "they [i.e. the women] are not so stupid that they can’t see playing with you tanks their rating and kills their chances of getting bumped." then it implies that
- they want to win by as large of a margin as possible because that will improve the chance of getting bumped. I think we can agree on that one, right?
- when the male player is the most skilled player on the court then the best strategy for that male player is to hit as many balls as possible. Which means that the female partner does not get to hit too much because the male player should and will cover 4/5ths of the court. Don't you agree with that?
- when the male player is the most skilled player on the court then the best strategy for that male player is to hit as many balls as possible toward the opponent's pair less skilled player - which most often is a female. Don't you agree with that?
if male player does not do #2 or #3 above then he is _not_ playing to the best of his ability. Which, according to what you wrote, is not OK with women in your area. I've concluded then that those women insist on male players to do #1 and #2, which in practice then means that female partner of a strongest male player on the court does not get to hit many balls, and the opposing female player (assuming she is the weakest) gets all the balls directed to her. And if that happens on the court then it is hard to see how it is any fun. But of course, _in your area_ the concept of fun on court is/may be different than anywhere else.......