Probably not your soulmate, I believe that position is reserved for Lleytonstation. I am a casual Nadal fan, and I have generally positive feelings towards cats and dogs, though I don't think I would ever want to own one.
There is not a set thing that needs to happen at the majors that will make me comeback. Anything that is extremely interesting and drama-filled will pull me back in, at least for a week or two. It could be a Djokovic-Nadal final (no matter the winner), it could be an Alcaraz breakout run to the final, or it could be Djokovic or Nadal getting upset pre-final.
Same with the USO, except I'll probably be around starting week 1 to follow the possible CYGS, if Nadal wins Wimbledon