Official Sureshs tribute thread

Which t-shirt design is the better of the two?

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stringertom said:
Wealthy people are in knead uv talint lyke srshs 24/7.
Click to expand...

At the resort, sureshs spends all day toiling on the courts teaching the finer arts of the clay game. Mosts guests collapse halfway through the lesson, then sun themselves while ogling sureshs' rawboned physique while he sweeps the courts after the session.

Once the sun goes down, the resort takes on another life, with a kabana lounge and function room that plays host to a nightly Karaoke open mic competition (guests ONLY). Once again, poor sureshs is pressed into immediate service.

sureshs's favourite song to perform is a paraphrased version of Kelis' hit song "Milkshake". In his version, the chorus is changed to "My Milkshake brings all the girls to the courts" and the number includes his own lurid dance accompaniment.
 
Sentinel said:
If Sureshs comes to the North Sentinel Island, it'll be an AYCE for the natives.
Click to expand...

The AYCE buffet tables will have been turned.
:(

H0KAZuB.png
FelnUgk.png
 
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Genious at Work said:
Not even close. Sureshs had already surpassed that girth by 2 weeks Guest Asian. His originating sperm looked actually like a tadpole.
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This all makes sense. Girthier babies lead to greater drop volley prowess later in life. I'm pretty sure this is proven by a study behind an academic paywall somewhere. I hope I still have the receipt for the lighter fluid, I feel embarrassed I need to return it now.
 
My body is still aching from yesterday. Not because of the clay court, but because of 90 minutes of drills and games with a pro who used to be on the tour. We hit 43 ball rallies (he was counting) and played a set. Because of the clay, the balls got damper and heavier with time.

After 90 minutes, all my confidence about facing Nadal on red clay had evaporated.
 
sureshs said:
My body is still aching from yesterday. Not because of the clay court, but because of 90 minutes of drills and games with a pro who used to be on the tour.
Click to expand...

$130 for a 1.5 hour lesson with a guy that beat Agassi is a great deal. Many coaches that never even played on the ATP charge more than that.

We hit 43 ball rallies (he was counting) and played a set.
Click to expand...

43 is just not credible based on your video. Were these two bounce or three? Were you sweating? Did he force you to split step?
:(
 
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emilyhex said:
This all makes sense. Girthier babies lead to greater drop volley prowess later in life. I'm pretty sure this is proven by a study behind an academic paywall somewhere. I hope I still have the receipt for the lighter fluid, I feel embarrassed I need to return it now.
Click to expand...
Lighter fluid will get you nowhere. The only fluid you need to worry about is Sureshs's knowledge, emanating from his GIFs and from his superior kinetic chain motion, as from a wise manbreast, guiding you gently as a newborn hungry for its succulent teachings. Only when you have satiated your innate thirst for aesthetic beauty and moral superiority by contemplating the Droop Volley of Peace in a loop enough times, only then you will be ready to accept Choorritz into your bosoms according to Brother Dali. For this please allocate 30 minutes of your time daily (1 hour weekends) and kindly submit your credit card to the address for The Chooreshs Foundation, where Anish will provide you with additional details to extend your membership for very less. Thank you please.
 
Raul_SJ said:
$130 for a 1.5 hour lesson with a guy that beat Agassi is a great deal. Many coaches that never even played on the ATP charge more than that.



43 is just not credible based on your video. Were these two bounce or three? Were you sweating? Did he force you to split step?
:(
Click to expand...
He was playing with a guy who beat Kramer in 1948 when Kramer had a bout of diarrhea. The guy is 96 years old now.
 
sureshs said:
My body is still aching from yesterday. Not because of the clay court, but because of 90 minutes of drills and games with a pro who used to be on the tour. We hit 43 ball rallies (he was counting) and played a set. Because of the clay, the balls got damper and heavier with time.

After 90 minutes, all my confidence about facing Nadal on red clay had evaporated.
Click to expand...
Oh, man. This is so good. Excellent delivery. I have tears in my eyes as I write this.
 
Subway Tennis said:
At the resort, sureshs spends all day toiling on the courts teaching the finer arts of the clay game. Mosts guests collapse halfway through the lesson, then sun themselves while ogling sureshs' rawboned physique while he sweeps the courts after the session.

Once the sun goes down, the resort takes on another life, with a kabana lounge and function room that plays host to a nightly Karaoke open mic competition (guests ONLY). Once again, poor sureshs is pressed into immediate service.

sureshs's favourite song to perform is a paraphrased version of Kelis' hit song "Milkshake". In his version, the chorus is changed to "My Milkshake brings all the girls to the courts" and the number includes his own lurid dance accompaniment.
Click to expand...
I just had a Sureshsgasm in pooblic reading this. Shayme on Yu.
 
I was at the resort silently observing Sureshs, and as in every Thanksgiving dinner, the Country Club president pardoned two turkeys and was in the process of donating them as pets to a petting zoo for underprivileged children, when Sureshs took the stage and issued an impassioned Abraham Lincolnesque speech about the evils of pet owners, and how subservience of such kind is an intolerable oppression no animal should be subjected to, after which, in order to save the two turkeys from their fate, he proceeded to eat them with a side of cole slaw and gravy.
 
sureshs said:
My body is still aching from yesterday. Not because of the clay court, but because of 90 minutes of drills and games with a pro who used to be on the tour. We hit 43 ball rallies (he was counting) and played a set. Because of the clay, the balls got damper and heavier with time.

After 90 minutes, all my confidence about facing Nadal on red clay had evaporated.
Click to expand...
Doug must be aching too from your heavy ballz. Did he try to grab them like the other pro from your club? If so, were there sterile surgical tools utilized?
 
stringertom said:
Doug must be aching too from your heavy ballz. Did he try to grab them like the other pro from your club? If so, were there sterile surgical tools utilized?
Click to expand...

Doug did steal one of sureshs' spheres, but luckily it has been recovered:

nutella.jpg


A surveyor has assessed it's size as "2 hands around" in girth. "hands" is the preferred unit of measurement for horses and sureshs' appendages.

The condition of the specimen is good, bar some unfortunate teeth marks on the undercarriage.

A surgeon has it under 24 hour armed guard, while they wait for sureshs to be available for the reattachment procedure. At the moment he is too busy to attend, because his remaining attached bauble is now doing double duty over the festive season.
 
Subway Tennis said:
Doug did steal one of sureshs' spheres, but luckily it has been recovered:

nutella.jpg


A surveyor has assessed it's size as "2 hands around" in girth. "hands" is the preferred unit of measurement for horses and sureshs' appendages.

The condition of the specimen is good, bar some unfortunate teeth marks on the undercarriage.

A surgeon has it under 24 hour armed guard, while they wait for sureshs to be available for the reattachment procedure. At the moment he is too busy to attend, because his remaining attached bauble is now doing double duty over the festive season.
Click to expand...
So beautiful and inspiring. Have they matched the teeth marks to Brother Joal already? Is Inter Paul and his Maud team prosecuting dear Joal for his religious beliefs and devotion to Sureshs's magical orbs? Suckness, discuss, asstonishment. Not necessarily in that hors d'oeurvres.
 
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Raul_SJ said:
$130 for a 1.5 hour lesson with a guy that beat Agassi is a great deal. Many coaches that never even played on the ATP charge more than that.



43 is just not credible based on your video. Were these two bounce or three? Were you sweating? Did he force you to split step?
:(
Click to expand...

Why don't you ask him?
 
sureshs said:
It is tough to superimpose our modern values on them. Killing somebody is not good but these people may believe that the foreigner is possessed and has great power to kill them. Apart from misogyny, genuine fear of witches played a role in the Salem hangings. Today, a witch is a bad joke, but in those days people believed in such things. These people are still more backward in time. In India, there are still traditional families who believe that death in their family shortly after a daughter-in-law arrives means that she is cursed and will continue causing death. In a previous generation, such women were chased out and the husband pressurized to find a new bride who was not cursed.
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What happened when you got married and visited your wife's home and fowl and poultry began to vanish from their backyard ?
 
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