OK, Now the Nonsense Starts in the Parking Lot

[Fairhit]

I have some empathy for the OP, no harm in asking, and the "parkee" could have been more forthcoming as to why he needed to remain in the space. I would have probably moved but I don't have any kids to pick-up, maybe diapers to change, or other extenuating circumstances creating a need to remain parked. The "parkee" could have been more sympathetic to the OP's plight in explaining his overriding needs to remain parked.

The thing is this, he was under no obligation whatsoever to give up his space.

If she asks and he still doesn't want to give it up, he is not under any obligation.

The problem her is that people tend to evaluate the own circumstances as more urgent than the circumstances of others, in this case Cindy assumes the guy is being rude but she doesn't know anything about him, for her he was being an a-hole because as she saw it, she was in greater need than him, otoh, he could be chatting on WhatsApp with other parents and telling the story about a self absorbed person that demanded him to leave his car regardless of the wellbeing of his two children.

My point is that is too easy to judge other people as bad because we don't know what happens to them and we don't care, we just care to make them look bad because they didn't do a favor for us.

There're various kinds of biases in this case, is not OP's fault, we all have them, the problem presents itself when she doesn't recognize them and keeps paddling in the wrong direction.

 

[Turbo-87]

Maybe it's me, but it sure seems like a waste to ruminate over something so trivial and then expend even more energy in coming home to create a thread about it. However, everyone is entitled to an opinion.

 

[silentkman]

So you've never been less than 30 minutes early? There's never been an emergency at the office? A traffic jam/accident?

Life happens. it's great if you're perfect in your attendance but I'm not going to fault someone for imperfection. [It's a different matter if they are habitually late.]

I'm not faulting anyone. The bottom line is this is simply not an issue.

 

[Fairhit]

In the great scheme of things, this is not more than an everyday annoyance and by that measure, I'm glad OP has the kind of life that in contrast makes this whole situation something worth of ranting about.

 

[ChaelAZ]

 

[CosmosMpower]

Wow, the lack of self awareness is stunning.

Typical of someone that refers to themselves in the 3rd person while patting themselves on the back for being a SJW.

 

[OnTheLine]

okay .... the vitriol coming from this thread is a little odd.
I don't see anything privileged or selfish or anything in asking someone who looks to be leaving a spot if they are indeed leaving ... nor anything untoward in pointing out that the person waiting for someone could in fact wait elsewhere causing zero harm to them while being helpful to someone else.

Parking lots can be the playing field for a lot of society's biases, showcasing lack of courtesy to others.

 

[kevrol]

I'm looking at the aerial view of all this on Google Maps and it's crazy how little parking there is for a site that size. Have to defend the dude in the spot a little here though. Doesn't look like there are many places you could wait in car there that wouldn't be in the way. If he had to wait for his kid for awhile then he was probably thinking about how much he'd have to move around the parking lot to let people in/out of spaces. I wouldn't want to deal with that. Not sure why the OP didn't just ask a teammate for a ride to her car after the match. That would've seemed preferably to a trek through a muddy field.

 

[kevrol]

There's even a sign that directs you to additional parking for tennis. The additional parking wouldn't really work if you were waiting on someone but would if you were playing even though it does see to be a pretty good hike. OP chose to park elsewhere. And the last paragraph of Cindy's original post does suggest an entitlement issue. Sorry Cindy.

 

[sureshs]

It's simple really.

People can choose to be nice about things, or they can choose not to be. He chose not to be.

That makes him not nice. There's no law that says anyone has to be nice.

And . . . if I caught one of my adult children refusing to give someone a parking spot under these circumstances, I would scold them good. I would certainly hope I raised them with a bit more consideration for others, and my disappointment in them would be palpable.

Cindy -- who also gives up her seat on the train for people in greater need, even though she doesn't have to and even if they don't ask

Except the train etiquette is for old and disabled people, not those who come late.

Just after I posted, I saw a car in the full club parking lot waiting on the road, and one by one 5 cars pulled out and had to dribble around this car to get out. When you are waiting like this, it is not at all like standing on a bus or a train. You have to constantly monitor who is coming and going and who is getting into cars close to you, otherwise they will reverse by habit and crash into you. Better that the one who comes late gets to "enjoy" this.

BTW, people who wait in their cars could also wait somewhere else, but perhaps due to weather or to use something in their car, they wait in the car. Doesn't mean they are there just for fun. In fact, I have seen people take impromptu job interviews or make business dealings in their car after rushing out from the patio for confidentiality and to avoid the background noise.

Or he could have been exercising his religious rights and meditating.

 

[sureshs]

After a minute or two, he hadn't left or looked up. Maybe he is engrossed in his phone and doesn't know I'm waiting? I got out of my car and knocked on his window, whereupon we had the following conversation:

Don't do that. Today, people are afraid of this because of the possibility of a nut with a gun, and minorities are afraid it could be law enforcement trying to harass them.

I was once waiting to pick up my son, and heard a knocking sound and saw a pair of hands banging on the window. I panicked, but it was just a girl who thought I was her Uber driver.

Don't do that. The safe days of sitting in a Mustang with the windows open and smoking a cigar are over. The last guy to do it at my club (Alex) doesn't even come any more.

 

[sureshs]

I was in “Mr Parked’s” situation before. And I moved to one of 3 open handicap spots, stayed in the car and left it running. I must have had 10 different people scream at me and tell me to get out of the handicapped spot in the 5 minutes I was waiting.

But there was no other place to sit and wait unless I wanted to block traffic

As Kramer explained to George when convincing him to park in a handicapped spot, a handicapped person would have wanted you to have the spot, and there are too many of those spots anyway for a few handicapped people.

 

[vex]

I played a match at an indoor facility (DMV folks, think Metroplex). For whatever reason, some genius decided to build it this facility with insufficient parking in a remote part of the county despite its location on a huge parcel of land.

When I arrived for my match about 10 minutes ahead, there were no open spots. Luckily, I saw someone walk to their mini-van and buckle in a child. I put on my blinker and waited patiently for the person to leave so I could take their spot. The driver got in, and I soon saw his face lit by his cell phone. Well, OK. I can chill while he checks his phone.

After a minute or two, he hadn't left or looked up. Maybe he is engrossed in his phone and doesn't know I'm waiting? I got out of my car and knocked on his window, whereupon we had the following conversation:

"Hi, are you leaving?"

"Not yet."

"Oh. I have a match starting soon, and all of the other spots are taken. Could I have your spot?"

"No. I'm waiting for my son."

So I got back in my car, drove to the adjacent empty skating rink parking lot, parked under a street lamp for safety, walked across the muddy field and into the tennis facility. Upon the completion of my match, I walked back across the muddy field at 11 p.m. to the empty skating rink lot, relieved not to have encountered any ne'er-do-wells lurking nearby.

Come on. Had I been this guy, I would 100% have moved my car out out of the spot and then just sat there, moving out of the way if I was blocking anyone or taking another spot if one became available.

When I got back in my car, a thought occurred to me: Just abandon my car directly in front of his; go in and tell my captain I was there; use the bathroom; then go move my car, by which time there would almost certainly be an open spot. The prevalence of lunatics in this country caused me to think better of it.

You live in a country led by a reality tv host, you’re now just noticing the lunacy?

 

[sureshs]

Slow news day...compared to impeachment hearings it's pretty entertaining...real-life drama outside the beltway. I had drama of equal gravity until I found a shirt I could wear untucked.

 

[sureshs]

okay .... the vitriol coming from this thread is a little odd.
I don't see anything privileged or selfish or anything in asking someone who looks to be leaving a spot if they are indeed leaving ... nor anything untoward in pointing out that the person waiting for someone could in fact wait elsewhere causing zero harm to them while being helpful to someone else.

The first and second situations are entirely different, and even the first situation is only acceptable if you actually watched someone get into a car and then not pull out for a few minutes.

 

[sureshs]

take Uber. problem solved

I am waiting for those Uber air taxis that are being tested right now.

 

[milk of amnesia]

Maybe it's me, but it sure seems like a waste to ruminate over something so trivial and then expend even more energy in coming home to create a thread about it. However, everyone is entitled to an opinion.

It's not just you. Any reasonable person would have noticed the spot was taken and simply would have found a different place to park. End of story. Some people make life much more difficult than it needs to be.

 

[Ronaldo]

Could you park in the grass? If there is any this time of year.

 

[tennis tom]

It's about situational awareness--which can save your azz out there in the real world outside of the protective tennis cages. At tournaments it can be difficult to find parking at times, I will pull aside safely at the head of the lot and wait for a player with keys in hand walking towards there vehicle, then slowly roll their way. With any situational awareness, they will see that I'm hovering for their space and either nod that they're bugging out or wave me off that they're just getting something from their car. In turn, if I'm the one getting into my vehicle I will do likewise--unless they're being obnoxious about like honking for me to leave--then I get on the cell and start calling all my friends. In the OP's case, the parkee could have given an approximation of how long they would be--or maybe they were homeless and living there. I do try to arrive for tournaments an hour early to allow for contingencies.

 

[tennis tom]

If you look at her from the neck down she ain't all that bad--early Halep.

 

[tennis tom]

I am waiting for those Uber air taxis that are being tested right now.

They're looking for beta testers in Arizona.

 

[Ronaldo]

If you look at her from the neck down she ain't all that bad--early Halep.

rack her

 

[sureshs]

It's about situational awareness--which can save your azz out there in the real world outside of the protective tennis cages. At tournaments it can be difficult to find parking at times, I will pull aside safely at the head of the lot and wait for a player with keys in hand walking towards there vehicle, then slowly roll their way. With any situational awareness, they will see that I'm hovering for their space and either nod that they're bugging out or wave me off that they're just getting something from their car. In turn, if I'm the one getting into my vehicle I will do likewise--unless they're being obnoxious about like honking for me to leave--then I get on the cell and start calling all my friends. In the OP's case, the parkee could have given an approximation of how long they would be--or maybe they were homeless and living there. I do try to arrive for tournaments an hour early to allow for contingencies.

If his kid's match goes to a 3rd set, he cannot give such estimates. If it is a time-bound match or a lesson, he can. I know parents who sit in the car or even drive off during a match because they and their kid gets tensed up if they are around.

 

[sureshs]

Upon the completion of my match, I walked back across the muddy field at 11 p.m. to the empty skating rink lot, relieved not to have encountered any ne'er-do-wells lurking nearby.

I would have just used an app and my autonomous vehicle would have driven itself to me. You need to upgrade your car.

 

[brettatk]

I don't understand why this guys was automatically in the wrong and labeled a jerk. What if they had been in the tennis center and the young child started getting out of hand and restless? The father did the right thing and removed the child from the facility. Their other child could have been playing a match or having practice and there could be 30 minutes or more left. If that was the case, he was suppose to pull out of the spot and just park on a curb somewhere waiting for 30 minutes? Um.. no. I mean he could have been a duche, I have no idea. But not knowing what his situation was it's impossible to tell. I've sat in a full parking lot many times waiting on my kids. I'm staying there until they come to the car.

 

[TagUrIt]

I play at this facility quite often and the main parking lot doesn’t have adequate parking. I’ve seen it on MANY occasions parents waiting in their vehicles for the kids, it’s pretty much SOP there. Without knowing all the facts, I don’t think any of us can judge the driver.
@Cindysphinx if you find yourself playing there again DO NOT park in that skating rink across the street they WILL tow your car! Use the satellite parking it’s to the left of the facility, then use the walkway path to get to the facility. Not the most convenient, but better than getting your car towed.

 

[MathGeek]

Having to see your teenage children the entire way from car to door?

Why criticize another family's approach to safety in bad neighborhoods?

 

[Cindysphinx]

I read a nonfiction book some years ago about traffic and how people behave in their car, etc. It was actually called "Traffic."

Researchers have found that people actually vacate a parking space more slowly if they know someone is waiting for the spot.

Isn't that an ineresting thing about human behavior? It's some primal thing about marking territory, or feeling a rush of power, maybe?

It's the same thing in movie theaters where some folks wont move over so others who arrived later can sit together. You could probably write a thesis about this quirk of human behavior, and somebody probably already has.

I find it highly amusing the lengths some folks on this thread have gone to manufacture a legitimate need that this guy had to have that space, though. My personal favorite has to be the possible need to change the diaper of his son who was in high school!!

This has been highly entertaining, so thank you all!

 

[rogerroger917]

How dare he not give up his spot. Lmao. I would of ignored you.

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[Cindysphinx]

I play at this facility quite often and the main parking lot doesn’t have adequate parking. I’ve seen it on MANY occasions parents waiting in their vehicles for the kids, it’s pretty much SOP there. Without knowing all the facts, I don’t think any of us can judge the driver.
@Cindysphinx if you find yourself playing there again DO NOT park in that skating rink across the street they WILL tow your car! Use the satellite parking it’s to the left of the facility, then use the walkway path to get to the facility. Not the most convenient, but better than getting your car towed.

Really? I didn't see any signs about towing in the skating rink lot, and that's where I've seen people park. I thought parking on the grass or the driveway would get you towed.

 

[rogerroger917]

Because it is more convenient for me to stay there than to let an able bodied person have the spot so she can save a few minutes.

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[rogerroger917]

It's always the other person. Yup.

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[Chalkdust]

I read a nonfiction book some years ago about traffic and how people behave in their car, etc. It was actually called "Traffic."

Researchers have found that people actually vacate a parking space more slowly if they know someone is waiting for the spot.

Isn't that an ineresting thing about human behavior? It's some primal thing about marking territory, or feeling a rush of power, maybe?

Yup, that's just plain old territorial behavior - naked ape stuff.

I find it highly amusing the lengths some folks on this thread have gone to manufacture a legitimate need that this guy had to have that space, though. My personal favorite has to be the possible need to change the diaper of his son who was in high school!!

To be fair most of us are not familiar with that parking lot and so are not in position to judge whether or not it would have been feasible for the other guy to wait anywhere other than in a designated spot. What we do know for sure is that you were late...

 

[norcal]

Did Becky buy a minivan and get a sex change?

 

[rogerroger917]

I think the OP was Becky.

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[sureshs]

If I was waiting, I would have waited for Cindy to persuade the guy to move, and then quickly occupied the spot before her.

 

[Fairhit]

Wow, just wow.

All of this just because another human being with his own needs doesn't go out of his way to acomodate for the needs of an entitled person.

She argues that she had a more urgent situation and the guy didn't care, but fails to acknowledge the situation of the guy.


The beauty of it is that she arguably is incapable to see the irony

 

[Cashman]

I find it highly amusing the lengths some folks on this thread have gone to manufacture a legitimate need that this guy had to have that space, though.

It is called giving strangers the benefit of the doubt. Usually a trait of nice people.

If you are as concerned with people being nice to each other as you are ostensibly claim, you might like to try it.

 

[AlexSV]

Parents dropping off, waiting for or picking up their kids are generally the most annoying people you will encounter in the parking lot.

 

[rogerroger917]

Parents dropping off, waiting for or picking up their kids are generally the most annoying people you will encounter in the parking lot.

No. Adult rec 3.0 tennis players rushing to their league match knocking on people's windows in a parking lot are the most annoying.

Don't touch my car. It costs more than your house.

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[Ronaldo]

Really? I didn't see any signs about towing in the skating rink lot, and that's where I've seen people park. I thought parking on the grass or the driveway would get you towed.

Experienced this last year at a football dome for flag football. Parking at a premium. Gadzillion kids and parents walking. We had three yo boys and girls on the field. Unloaded everyone at the door and parked in the next lot on three mile island. Btw, we haul chairs, coolers, furniture into the dome.

 

[brettatk]

I find it highly amusing the lengths some folks on this thread have gone to manufacture a legitimate need that this guy had to have that space, though.

What I find even more amusing is that it doesn't seem to matter to you at all what his reasoning was to keep the space. In your mind there was no reason in the world he could have had and he should have immediately vacated the spot.

 

[J_R_B]

The only thing the guy did wrong was let Cindy sit there for 2 minutes with her blinker on knowing he wasn't leaving yet. He should have noticed her sitting there waiting for the spot and waived her on right away. I suppose he also could have given her a time estimate for his wait for his child. He has no obligation to give up the spot (and we don't even know how long the other child was going to be, it could have been a pretty long time).

 

[rogerroger917]

There was an elderly lady crossing the street in NYC yesterday. She was walking pretty slow. I was going to a lunch meeting. I tapped her on her shoulder and asked her to step aside or walk faster. She refused. The nerve!!!!!! Doesn't she know I have important things to do???

I then went on the facebook page of senior citizens of NYC and complained. Funny thing they didn't agree with me.

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[Ronaldo]

There was an elderly lady crossing the street in NYC yesterday. She was walking pretty slow. I was going to a lunch meeting. I tapped her on her shoulder and asked her to step aside or walk faster. She refused. The nerve!!!!!! Doesn't she know I have important things to do???

I then went on the facebook page of senior citizens of NYC and complained. Funny thing they didn't agree with me.

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Shoulda snatched her walker!

 

[Fxanimator1]

I read a nonfiction book some years ago about traffic and how people behave in their car, etc. It was actually called "Traffic."

Researchers have found that people actually vacate a parking space more slowly if they know someone is waiting for the spot.

Isn't that an ineresting thing about human behavior? It's some primal thing about marking territory, or feeling a rush of power, maybe?

It's the same thing in movie theaters where some folks wont move over so others who arrived later can sit together. You could probably write a thesis about this quirk of human behavior, and somebody probably already has.

I find it highly amusing the lengths some folks on this thread have gone to manufacture a legitimate need that this guy had to have that space, though. My personal favorite has to be the possible need to change the diaper of his son who was in high school!!

This has been highly entertaining, so thank you all!

To create a fictional situation of drama based on one perspective, and then judging someone based on absolutely no knowledge of the person in question is also interesting.
I think the fact that you're justifying your stance by insulting anyone that disagree's with you, sums up your outlook toward others and your sense of entitlement.
Suggesting that people are commenting for your "amusement" is a very condescending stance. It says more about you than you realize.

I will give you a "heads up" for free. Do not go to Disney World. The amount of people cutting in front of you in lines would likely push you over the brink.

 

[sureshs]

No. Adult rec 3.0 tennis players rushing to their league match knocking on people's windows in a parking lot are the most annoying.

Don't touch my car. It costs more than your house.

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Cindy is a 3.5 and once 4.0 player.

@Cindysphinx don't let him get away with this.

 

[sureshs]

Parents dropping off, waiting for or picking up their kids are generally the most annoying people you will encounter in the parking lot.

Along with oldies who take forever to get out of their car as they carefully check their adult diapers, water bottles, condition of frames, position their hand and knee braces, and eventually slowly move away from the car (mini Cooper). Unless of course a friend of similar age pulls up close (Porche) and they trade dirty jokes in the parking lot before he too finishes his rituals and finally head to the court together.

 

[sureshs]

The only thing the guy did wrong was let Cindy sit there for 2 minutes with her blinker on knowing he wasn't leaving yet. He should have noticed her sitting there waiting for the spot and waived her on right away. I suppose he also could have given her a time estimate for his wait for his child. He has no obligation to give up the spot (and we don't even know how long the other child was going to be, it could have been a pretty long time).

That assumes he is always looking in the rear view mirror checking on the traffic. What if he is surfing his phone or meditating or simply sleeping?

 

[sureshs]

To create a fictional situation of drama based on one perspective, and then judging someone based on absolutely no knowledge of the person in question is also interesting.
I think the fact that you're justifying your stance by insulting anyone that disagree's with you, sums up your outlook toward others and your sense of entitlement.
Suggesting that people are commenting for your "amusement" is a very condescending stance. It says more about you than you realize.

I will give you a "heads up" for free. Do not go to Disney World. The amount of people cutting in front of you in lines would likely push you over the brink.

Cindy will buy the VIP pass and bypass the lines and be escorted to the rides through a secret entrance hidden from the plebes.