For reference, I am a 30 years old guy with no girlfriend, and I am spending the majority of my time working on my tennis. I'm sure there is an element of me trying to avoid life responsibilities but I also really like the sport and I am trying to improve while I am still somewhat young. The issue is my parents like to criticize me for doing this, they feel like I am wasting time and I feel very disappointed. Anyone has gone through this before?
Parents don't want me to center my life around tennis
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10sbeast888
Hall of Fame
yes. you are 30... time to grow up.
job I have, house I have... just not really trying to get promoted
I think about 15 hours and 5 hours of conditioning
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I mean I thought about that, but I fear in 10 years I will become so stiff I won't be able to improve anymore
Morch Us
Hall of Fame
you are 30, don't ask for life advice on a tennis forum .. hahaI guess in a way tennis is a therapy. But you have to ask yourself, whether you are spending too much time on a "rec" activity. In the end what do you lose if you don't maximize your tennis potential. What do you lose if you don't maximize your career potential? What do you lose if you don't maximize your personal/family potential? Find the right balance for you.
If you really want a demotivation factor to keep you a bit out of tennis, just go and play couple of sets with a pusher.
MyFearHand
Professional
You’ve got the important things covered, I think you’re fine. You’ve got a job and a place to live and you’re spending < 3 hours per day on tennis on average. That’s fine, you have a hobby that you’re really into and that’s fine. A lot of people go home after work and watch 3 hours of TV. You’re doing something much healthier and it doesn’t appear to be interfering with the rest of your life.
those are some good questions...! I might need time to think but tennis is so addicting! good idea the pusher haha
I guess in a way tennis is a therapy. But you have to ask yourself, whether you are spending too much time on a "rec" activity. In the end what do you lose if you don't maximize your tennis potential. What do you lose if you don't maximize your career potential? What do you lose if you don't maximize your personal/family potential? Find the right balance for you.
If you really want a demotivation factor to keep you a bit out of tennis, just go and play couple of sets with a pusher.
Yes, but tennis is all I do outside of work, I think that's something people my age dont do...I do enjoy it very much though
lol, I think you’re good then
a lot of “successful” people also train for marathons, and they spend a similar amount of time training/recovering/etc,…
gym fanatics maybe spend a bit less time…
but seems like you have a decent balance (work/body maintenance)…. that said, cery successful folks I know spent their 20’s-30’s working 60-80h weeks and now they are cruising, as they’ve already made their money…
maybe your parents want grandkids, and want you to find a gf?
esgee48
G.O.A.T.
What you’re doing is maintaining a healthy work/life balance. When I was your age, I was putting in hours at work plus doing same thing on my own time building my portfolio. Temporally retired around 40. Tennis and/or physical exercise was what kept me sane. Went back to work again doing what I like to do without the BS.
Keep at it since mental health is just as important as physical. IME having a young GF is overrated.
Keep at it since mental health is just as important as physical. IME having a young GF is overrated.
austintennis2005
Professional
No, that is more motivation to get better to beat the pusher
socallefty
G.O.A.T.
You are centering your life around rec tennis at the age of 30? And you are surprised to be criticized for it? Go do some volunteer work and help some people or help out your community.
Yes haha I like it! I started tennis at around 10, its been a while...I feel like its also a waste of time if I just give it up you know...but in exchange, it might be a lonely life ahead of me
You don't work everyday of the week, right? If you play tennis 2-3 hours on your days off, what do you do the rest of the day? Go out, meet some people and ask some of them out. And go online to a dating website, pay the fee, talk to people and ask some of them out.
Some people do way more than you do and find the time to do it all.
But remember to take care of yourself because you can't do anything without your health.
Some people do way more than you do and find the time to do it all.
But remember to take care of yourself because you can't do anything without your health.
CHillTennis
Hall of Fame
I spent a lot of time playing tennis 10 to 15 years ago.
So I can relate, probably a little bit, to what you're going through here.
If you want my HONEST opinion, tennis is kind of a dead end for most people.
You won't make enough money as a player to survive and it's hard to make a full-time income off of coaching.
If it's getting in the way of your career, then you should probably consider dialing it back.
I am not trying to make a living off of tennis, but I do hope that one day I can be take some sets off some low level pros
as for career, I don't see myself working super hard and earning a lot so I think I will retire around 40 and live in a low cost country. I have no idea about a family or social life though
ErrorMachine
Semi-Pro
Tell them you’re disappointed in them for not supporting their son. Women come and go but tennis is forever. It sounds like you have a balanced life and that’s more than most have.
mixtape
Professional
As long as there's an opponent across the net from you or a doubles partner next to you, you are never alone. Keep doing what you like.
CHillTennis
Hall of Fame
OK. In that case, I would say keep doing what makes you happy.
socallefty
G.O.A.T.
I am not saying to give it up. I play 90-120 mins daily also , but no one who knows me will say I center my life around tennis as I do many other things also.
FuzzyYellowBalls
Legend
I'd do one event, social, a week, that isn't tennis, that should balance it out, maybe go out one night a weekend with friends or whatever away from the tennis court, could even invite your tennis friends. Plenty of adults do this in the US, especially around beach volleyball, their whole life is work and beach volleyball.
inflation_era
Professional
Why don't you get a girlfriend? Then everyone will stop bothering you.
For a few years in my twenties I spent all my free time on tennis. On weekdays I'd play for 2 hours from 8pm to 10pm, pick up some food on the way back home, shower eat and sleep. On Saturday and Sunday I'd play both in the mornings and evenings, 2 hours each session. That was about 18 hours per week. Tennis was so efficient and addictive I didn't do much else. It worked out well because it kept me mentally healthy for a job that I left home at 8am for and got back at 7:30pm (long hours staring at a computer screen).
I realized later in life that this was a mistake (for me). I'd suggest finding a few other activities that are as addictive as tennis and trying to split your free time among them. Especially on weekends, you can pursue activities that might need more setup time than tennis does. If you live close to a beach, I'd suggest kiteboarding or kitefoiling. I found rock climbing to be a lot of fun too. Hiking, mountain biking, chess might also be worth considering.
I realized later in life that this was a mistake (for me). I'd suggest finding a few other activities that are as addictive as tennis and trying to split your free time among them. Especially on weekends, you can pursue activities that might need more setup time than tennis does. If you live close to a beach, I'd suggest kiteboarding or kitefoiling. I found rock climbing to be a lot of fun too. Hiking, mountain biking, chess might also be worth considering.
But you must be a good tennis player now thanks to that. How else could you be a good player hadn't you put such an effort? It seems to me that you spent your time wisely.
just the right techniques for my body so I can experience what tennis has to offer and then im done I think
tennis is my girlfriend now haha, would be ideal if I could find someone like me but most people who are like me are in high school
can you elaborate on the tennis is a mistake part?
zill
Legend
You sound like me when I was 30. But guess what happened when I reached 35 after playing lots of tennis since 30? Chronic knee injury which lasted until now, I am 38 turning 39 soon. Looking to do other things now. Tennis for me is essentially over as a serious sport.
But the things I learnt over this 8 years I could not have imagined. Changed all my strokes and even switched a 1hb to a 2hb.
Here is more info about the change.
After just over 2 years hitting the 2hb I am finally got it in it's entirety....
and I have to say it's the simplest groundstroke even simpler than the slice. There is more turn and components in the stroke than a slice (which is more of a feel shot) but when put altogether the 2hb feels like such a simple stroke so compact yet powerful and precise. Truly a genuis shot...
tt.tennis-warehouse.com
I would say just go for what you want to do in this life.
LeftyMagic
Semi-Pro
do your thing man, enjoy it if it makes you happy. thats just societal pressure and a different generation who only knew the 9-5 grind. you make a living, you have a place to live. sometimes making more money or buying a nicer living arrangement isn't enough to motivate folks and thats fine.
go play tennis and workout. its your life do whatever you want, arrange it however you want.
as a sidenote theres probably a girl out there who lives exactly like you. theres a shoe for every foot.
go play tennis and workout. its your life do whatever you want, arrange it however you want.
as a sidenote theres probably a girl out there who lives exactly like you. theres a shoe for every foot.
will do
LuckyR
Legend
Dude, happy to hear that the career and home things are buttoned up. Tennis is definitely way better than video games and social media (to be spending time on).
Answer this: what do you want your life to look like at age 40 and 50? If your answer is single and good at tennis, keep doing what you're doing. If it's something else, put yourself in a position to accomplish those goals.
Answer this: what do you want your life to look like at age 40 and 50? If your answer is single and good at tennis, keep doing what you're doing. If it's something else, put yourself in a position to accomplish those goals.
Yup, many have breathed their last on a tennis court. Literally.
Tennis court is like a sanctuary.
I got really serious about tennis at 27, ten years ago.
I'd play 5 hours a day almost everyday.
Went through 4 GFs... and trying to avoid making new ones for now.
It's just in our genes, you could say...
Met this ~40yr old ex-marine who plays tennis now.
Can't stay home with the baby for even half a day without doing something physical.
So just be yourself.
And yeah... Chinese parents are from a different culture AND generation.
So good luck with that, and pass some luck to me too.
Cuz your screen name is 'guang'
I'd play 5 hours a day almost everyday.
Went through 4 GFs... and trying to avoid making new ones for now.
It's just in our genes, you could say...
Met this ~40yr old ex-marine who plays tennis now.
Can't stay home with the baby for even half a day without doing something physical.
So just be yourself.
And yeah... Chinese parents are from a different culture AND generation.
So good luck with that, and pass some luck to me too.
Cuz your screen name is 'guang'
For me, unless I drive like an hour away, its the same folks every time
how did you manage to play 5 hours a day?! and yes I am Chinese haha
bitcoinoperated
Hall of Fame
The problem is that at 30, while earning enough to own a property, you are listening this much to your parents. Parents who are putting the brakes on you working towards being the best you can be in something your really like doing.
I'm 40 and won't ever have a 30 body again. Don't back off. Create the life you want for yourself not one forced on you by others. Getting a tennis gf is that much easier when you are good at tennis.
I'm 40 and won't ever have a 30 body again. Don't back off. Create the life you want for yourself not one forced on you by others. Getting a tennis gf is that much easier when you are good at tennis.
oooof that last sentence haha and I agree with you
What do you mean?
well I'm not trying to and cant replicate other the pros techniques cause we all built different, so I'm trying to feel what works best for my body type
I didn't mean to imply that playing tennis was a mistake, just that spending *all* my free time on tennis was a mistake. You're only going to have a young body/spine that recovers from injuries relatively quickly for a few more years - so I'd suggest learning other skills which might be harder to learn when you're older (because you'll be more afraid of injuries when you're older). Tennis also causes a lot of imbalances in the body (maybe people who hit 2 handed backhands have fewer imbalances, but i hit a one hander so i don't know about them), so it's good to engage in activities that use other muscles. You might also find yourself in a situation later in life where tennis is no longer an easy option (no players at your level, not as much fun anymore because you aren't improving etc), so it's always good to have other activities to fall back onto.
good point, I do hope to transfer to ping pong or pickleball when my body cant handle the stress anymore
You can't learn the same fundamental technique as a pro because "we're all built different"? That doesn't even mean anything. You have to stop thinking like that if you want to get good at tennis.
How did learn tennis? Who taught you initially? Sounds like you got some bad lessons. Did you learn from The Inner Game of Tennis?
you can play tennis lifelong; obviously your skills change and you may move on to doubles.
that being said, it's good to diversify interests a bit. I don't know if you live in a 4 season state, but perhaps try a different activity for a season to avoid overtraining/injuries. You can still play tennis but may be once a week during that time.
Knowing a few Asians and their parents, I suspect they want you to get married and provide an heir to keep the family name going. The other thing you can do is join a mixed doubles league. You may not meet a tennis GF on the team, but you may meet someone who will introduce you to a tennis GF!
BTW, once you get married, and have a kid, your tennis time will decrease a lot... but if the kid chooses to play tennis, your time on court will increase 4 fold!
that being said, it's good to diversify interests a bit. I don't know if you live in a 4 season state, but perhaps try a different activity for a season to avoid overtraining/injuries. You can still play tennis but may be once a week during that time.
Knowing a few Asians and their parents, I suspect they want you to get married and provide an heir to keep the family name going. The other thing you can do is join a mixed doubles league. You may not meet a tennis GF on the team, but you may meet someone who will introduce you to a tennis GF!
BTW, once you get married, and have a kid, your tennis time will decrease a lot... but if the kid chooses to play tennis, your time on court will increase 4 fold!
johnmccabe
Hall of Fame
Technique is only 10% of tennis, just like tennis is 10% of life
