PNN - Player News Network

D

Deleted member 742196

Guest


BELGRADE PRESS

Undisclosed sources warn of an imminent change to Novak Djokovic’s backhand technique for the upcoming 2019 season.

“He’s been working out the kinks,” says one source within the Djokovic camp, “it’s for the long term benefit and you know, Roger.” When pressed what the person meant by that remark there was an audible sneer in the reporter’s direction and things went quiet.

Over the months it has been rumoured changes have been in the works. Marian Vadja, Novak’s coach, is furious Wimbledon won’t allow 2 handers to win any more titles.

“It’s bad for business, you see”, an unnamed official said earlier in the year, before downing his glass of champagne. “When Roger was winning things were easy, but this new crowd with their weird names and ungainly backhands, nobody buys the merchandise.”
 
Last edited by a moderator:
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest


ESTONIA TIMES

Unnamed insider reveals carpet rug in GQ photo shoot was made of twenty thousand gerbils.

“I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month.” remarked Federer, lying on his throwaway gerbil rug in the now infamous GQ shoot. “I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.” The air gushed out of the room because nobody knew whether he was talking about his cardigan or the losses on clay to his rival, Rafael Nadal.

The rug underneath the suave icon had been made by stitching together nearly twenty thousand Tacoma Pacific gerbilskins, despite the fact that the twenty thousand concerned gerbils had needed them to keep their insides in.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
D

Deleted member 742196

Guest


BHUTAN EXPRESS

Unattributed dentist confirms terminal tooth injury.

“Time is an illusion. Siesta doubly so.” said Rafael Nadal as he bit into the Coupe des Mousquetaires. “Very deep,” I said, “you should send that in to the "Reader’s Digest”. They’ve got a page for people like you.” Nadal bit into the Coupe again, this time more violently as if it were his countryman, David Ferrer.

“The best way to get a drink out of a Spaniard is to stick your finger down his throat…” Nadal said, leaving the sentence to hang in the air, like a brick.

“How do you feel?” I changed the subject. “Like a military academy, bits of me keep passing out…I never wanna play that guy Dhojovicsh in Australia again.” while I attended to his mouth.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Top