Random thread of good jokes, aggie jokes, yo mama jokes, or what have you..

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by Leelord337, Nov 21, 2007.

  1. Capulin Zurdo

    Capulin Zurdo Hall of Fame

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  2. YetAnotherFedFan

    YetAnotherFedFan Hall of Fame

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    The two Snowies make up the rest of the Big 3.:)
     
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  3. Sabratha

    Sabratha Talk Tennis Guru

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  4. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford G.O.A.T.

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    That's very kind of you, but fortunately you are wrong in this case. @Sentinel and @stringertom alone surpass me handily, but then again, they have been submitted to the inspiring influx of the Methane Master for much longer than I have. ;)
     
  5. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    You embarrass me by including me with greats like Tom and Rusty. The top 10 include yourself, @Power Player @gut wax, Jeol Dali, @vive le beau jeu ! , @jwjh and several promising new youngsters such as @Rubens @Minion . I am just a journey man in this grand venture.
     
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  6. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford G.O.A.T.

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    Nonsense. You are a towering giant over the great poasters of the Vortex.

    I think that Sureshs's methane effusions manage to inspire everybody and lift them to previously unseen heights. ;)
     
  7. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Those are just his moonballs that go to unseen heights. Are we suresh's moonballs ?
     
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  8. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    We are the Poobah's Witnesses :D


    ..
     
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  9. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford G.O.A.T.

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    We are Sureshs's shards of wisdom, as they wash up in the turbulent currents of the TTW sewage pipes. ;)
     
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  10. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    I was just about to write that we are suresh's faarts of wisdom as they waft across the stagnant currents of TTW's septic tanks. ;)
     
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  11. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"

    The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."
     
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  12. stringertom

    stringertom Bionic Poster

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    The first byte must have been spot on.:p
     
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  13. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
     
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  14. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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  15. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford G.O.A.T.

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    That dog seriously looks like it's going to explode. :eek:
     
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  16. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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  17. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Maybe one of those rear-end explosions that sureshs is famous for when he hasn't been for a few days.
     
  18. Capulin Zurdo

    Capulin Zurdo Hall of Fame

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  19. YetAnotherFedFan

    YetAnotherFedFan Hall of Fame

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    A husband and wife are lounging in bed on the morning of the wife's birthday.

    The wife is full of excited anticipation at what presents her beloved husband has bought her.

    He reaches out under the bed and grabs the first present which is long and thin.

    The wife opens up the present to find a magic wand and the husband encourages her to wave it around. To humour him she obliges.

    The husband then reaches out under the bed for the main presents only to say "Darling you have made your other presents disappear"!
     
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  20. stringertom

    stringertom Bionic Poster

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    Those detainees still desperately seeking escape from The Vortex would pay millions for a chance to wave that magic wand over the supine sureshs.:p
     
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  21. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    LOL

    However, sureshs makes food disappear without needing a magic wand.
    [​IMG]

    supine 'resh

    [​IMG]
     
  22. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Maybe he ate some of suresh's appetizers ;)
     
  23. Capulin Zurdo

    Capulin Zurdo Hall of Fame

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    Psycho Santa Scare Prank!

     
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  24. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Just hope Brother Dali doesn't hear the words "supine sureshs".

    otoh, it might raise his poastings to nevr-bef0re acheived heights.
     
  25. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Legend

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    deleted.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2016
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  26. Vegito

    Vegito Hall of Fame

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    Guy tries to smoke and he fails!

     
  27. Vcore89

    Vcore89 Legend

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    Where's the knee bend?
     
  28. Hangman

    Hangman Rookie

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    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
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    Nothing, you already told her twice!
     
  29. Hangman

    Hangman Rookie

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    Yo mama so fat...

    When she jumps, she get stuck!
     
  30. stringertom

    stringertom Bionic Poster

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    Proper sureshs response:

    "Knees can bend???"
     
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  31. Mr.Lob

    Mr.Lob Legend

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    What did cavemen call the world's first bra?
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    An over the shoulder boulder holder.
     
  32. stringertom

    stringertom Bionic Poster

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    That's as old and bad as this:

    NYT bestseller was a little work called Under The Grandstand by the noted authority Seymour Butts.:eek:
     
  33. Mr.Lob

    Mr.Lob Legend

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    Of course that joke is old.... been around since the days of the caveman. :rolleyes:
     
  34. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford G.O.A.T.

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    LMFAO. But no Sureshs Dump?
     
  35. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Good one.
     
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  36. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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  37. FedFosterWallace

    FedFosterWallace Legend

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    *actual response I got to music poll I was conducting in elementary school*

    Me: What's your favorite rock group?

    Kid: Quartz.
     
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  38. stringertom

    stringertom Bionic Poster

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    Geology rocks!!!:cool:

    Sewretch prefers sedimentary. So does Holmes but Watson is tired of hearing about it.:eek:

    Ai sorry!:rolleyes:
     
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  39. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    haha ! just stay away from the alluvial deposits.
     
  40. stringertom

    stringertom Bionic Poster

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    fedr uses rough ALUvial strings...what a cheater, taking advantage of technological advances.:eek:
     
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  41. jaggy

    jaggy G.O.A.T.

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    The man who invented predictive text just died. His funeral is on monkey.
     
  42. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Alluvial deposits form much of the Indo-Gangetic valley, so how can you stay away, given that you are right on one of the important tributaries of the system?
     
  43. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    There's no way out of here, when you come in you're in for good
    There was no promise made, the part you've played, the chance you took
    There are no boundaries set, the time and yet you waste it still

    So it slips through your hands like grains of sand, you watch it go
    There's no time to be lost, you'll pay the cost, so get it right
    There's no way out of here, when you come in you're in for good
     
  44. FedFosterWallace

    FedFosterWallace Legend

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    "Knock knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Europe."

    "Europe who?"

    "No, you're a poo."
     
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  45. stringertom

    stringertom Bionic Poster

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    That's The Vortexian national anthem!:cool:
     
  46. FedFosterWallace

    FedFosterWallace Legend

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    What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court?

    Annette.
     
  47. stringertom

    stringertom Bionic Poster

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    LeeDF will hit on that!:eek:
     
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  48. FedFosterWallace

    FedFosterWallace Legend

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    Peregrine falcon flaps his way on court, racquet secured under wing, and commences with the showboating. Tennis camp director strides over, outraged, and lays into him.

    "What do you think you're doing here? No animals allowed on court."

    Falcon wilts. "My mother told me I was 'taloned,' and I misheard her."
     

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