I'm editing this to say this is a PARODY of "jackbauerfacts" tweets on twitter. Check him out: http://twitter.com/jackbauerfacts 1. When Roger Federer loses, tournament organizers have to scratch his name off the trophy. 2. Tennis balls look forward to being hit by Roger Federer's racquet. 3. When Grand Slam draws come out, all of the players in Roger Federer's quarter book their plane tickets home. 4. Roger Federer's left hand has never touched a tennis racquet. 5. Roger Federer knows where Andy Roddick is going to hit the ball before Andy Roddick does. 6. Roger Federer makes good players look like clowns. 7. Roger Federer cause Andy Roddick's hairline to recede. 8. Roger Federer cause the blackout on "FlashForward." 9. Superman wears Roger Federer pajamas. 10. Obiwan Kenobi used a Jedi Mind trick on Roger Federer and got a migraine. 11. Roger Federer doesn't get beaten. He just gets bored. 12. Roger Federer learned to hit a tennis ball and walk, in that order.