Roger, Rafa and Novak meet God

TheMaestro1990

TheMaestro1990

Hall of Fame
It's the year 2030 and the three greatest players of all time are retired. The publics' interest in the men's game is lower than ever. To keep some of the sparkle around the game alive, ATP decided - unknown to the media - to use half of the entire calender year's price money to pay Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic to play exhibition matches.

The three greats were all in the same plane, headed to an exhibition match in Washington, hosted by president Michelle Obama, when a tornado tore the plane apart. All three (and the pilot Andy Murray) died.

High, high up in the blue, blue sky, Roger, Rafa and Novak reach the pearly gates where they are welcomed by St. Peter who directly leads them to God himself.

The three step up to God who sits on his throne. God then says:

- Rafa, what is the best thing about tennis?
Rafa bows and answers:
- The best thing about tennis, for sure, is that I have been able to spread joy to the people, earn money for my living and seeing the world, no?
God felt it was a good answer. He said:
- Well said Rafa, come and sit on my left side.

God then looked at Novak and said:
- And you Novack, what is the best thing about tennis?
Novak responds carefully:
- Lord, I come from a difficult background and have managed to show my fellow man that there is a way out of it all and that one isn't doomed to a life of misery. Tennis has given me all that and at the same time, I also have been able to spread joy to the people with my unpredecented actions of love.
- Good answer Novack, God said, come and sit on my right side.

God then looked at Roger and said:
- What about you Roger?
Roger looks up, clears his throat, spits on the ground and says:
- You're sitting in my chair. I sit when I wanna sit, okay?
 
Last edited:
Goosehead

Goosehead

Legend
the day I met god, the day I met god, the day I met the big boy..yeah yeah..it was p1ssing with rain and we went..

..ooooooooooooooh oooooh whooo eeeeeeeeee oooooooooo oooooooooh ooooooooh oooo oooooh weeeeeeeee ooooooooooooooooo.
 
S'in-net

S'in-net

Semi-Pro
So what are you saying ? Novak is the Top doG ?
cause Roger sat in his chair WTF (x2)

Now towel off and don't worry about it :D
 
Bender

Bender

G.O.A.T.
TheMaestro1990 said:
It's the year 2030 and the three greatest players of all time are retired. The publics' interest in the men's game is lower than ever. To keep some of the sparkle around the game alive, ATP decided - unknown to the media - to use half of the entire calender year's price money to pay Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic to play exhibition matches.

The three greats were all in the same plane, headed to an exhibition match in Washington, hosted by president Michelle Obama, when a tornado tore the plane apart. All three (and the pilot Andy Murray) died.

High, high up in the blue, blue sky, Roger, Rafa and Novak reach the pearly gates where they are welcomed by St. Peter who directly leads them to God himself.

The three step up to God who sits on his throne. God then says:

- Rafa, what is the best thing about tennis?
Rafa bows and answers:
- The best thing about tennis, for sure, is that I have been able to spread joy to the people, earn money for my living and seeing the world, no?
God felt it was a good answer. He said:
- Well said Rafa, come and sit on my left side.

God then looked at Novak and said:
- And you Novack, what is the best thing about tennis?
Novak responds carefully:
- Lord, I come from a difficult background and have managed to show my fellow man that there is a way out of it all and that one isn't doomed to a life of misery. Tennis has given me all that and at the same time, I also have been able to spread joy to the people with my unpredecented actions of love.
- Good answer Novack, God said, come and sit on my right side.

God then looked at Roger and said:
- What about you Roger?
Roger looks up, clears his throat, spits on the ground and says:
- You're sitting in my chair. I sit when I wanna sit, okay?
Click to expand...
God, somewhat offended by this outburst by the GOAT, replies:
- I am God. I make the rules. If you want a seat by my side you have to follow them.
Roger, still completely unfazed, this time deliberately draws an extended snort and spits out his phlegm on the ground and says:
- When I wanna talk, I'll talk. Don't fu**ing tell me the rules, okay?
 
beast of mallorca

beast of mallorca

G.O.A.T.
TheMaestro1990 said:
It's the year 2030 and the three greatest players of all time are retired. The publics' interest in the men's game is lower than ever. To keep some of the sparkle around the game alive, ATP decided - unknown to the media - to use half of the entire calender year's price money to pay Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic to play exhibition matches.

The three greats were all in the same plane, headed to an exhibition match in Washington, hosted by president Michelle Obama, when a tornado tore the plane apart. All three (and the pilot Andy Murray) died.

High, high up in the blue, blue sky, Roger, Rafa and Novak reach the pearly gates where they are welcomed by St. Peter who directly leads them to God himself.

The three step up to God who sits on his throne. God then says:

- Rafa, what is the best thing about tennis?
Rafa bows and answers:
- The best thing about tennis, for sure, is that I have been able to spread joy to the people, earn money for my living and seeing the world, no?
God felt it was a good answer. He said:
- Well said Rafa, come and sit on my left side.

God then looked at Novak and said:
- And you Novack, what is the best thing about tennis?
Novak responds carefully:
- Lord, I come from a difficult background and have managed to show my fellow man that there is a way out of it all and that one isn't doomed to a life of misery. Tennis has given me all that and at the same time, I also have been able to spread joy to the people with my unpredecented actions of love.
- Good answer Novack, God said, come and sit on my right side.

God then looked at Roger and said:
- What about you Roger?
Roger looks up, clears his throat, spits on the ground and says:
- You're sitting in my chair. I sit when I wanna sit, okay?
Click to expand...

OP.......You'll probably see Him before these 3. Tomorrow perhaps ? :D
 
A

AngryBirds

Semi-Pro
TheMaestro1990 said:
It's the year 2030 and the three greatest players of all time are retired. The publics' interest in the men's game is lower than ever. To keep some of the sparkle around the game alive, ATP decided - unknown to the media - to use half of the entire calender year's price money to pay Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic to play exhibition matches.

The three greats were all in the same plane, headed to an exhibition match in Washington, hosted by president Michelle Obama, when a tornado tore the plane apart. All three (and the pilot Andy Murray) died.

High, high up in the blue, blue sky, Roger, Rafa and Novak reach the pearly gates where they are welcomed by St. Peter who directly leads them to God himself.

The three step up to God who sits on his throne. God then says:

- Rafa, what is the best thing about tennis?
Rafa bows and answers:
- The best thing about tennis, for sure, is that I have been able to spread joy to the people, earn money for my living and seeing the world, no?
God felt it was a good answer. He said:
- Well said Rafa, come and sit on my left side.

God then looked at Novak and said:
- And you Novack, what is the best thing about tennis?
Novak responds carefully:
- Lord, I come from a difficult background and have managed to show my fellow man that there is a way out of it all and that one isn't doomed to a life of misery. Tennis has given me all that and at the same time, I also have been able to spread joy to the people with my unpredecented actions of love.
- Good answer Novack, God said, come and sit on my right side.

God then looked at Roger and said:
- What about you Roger?
Roger looks up, clears his throat, spits on the ground and says:
- You're sitting in my chair. I sit when I wanna sit, okay?
Click to expand...
Roger respects all past greats. He is the most well behaved top player perhaps in history. There's no way he would behave like that in front of God.
 
Luckydog

Luckydog

Professional
Murray is the best part in OP ,LMAO.
But Murray as a versatile Briton,he is not only a pilot and a tennis player,he has more jobs to do.
The fact is presented as following( Tennis Bible records this event):
All three stands in front of the empty throne which is only for God,and an angel who's face coincidentally looks like Murray asks the same question "what is the best thing about tennis" to Nadal and Djokovic respectively ,and then let them sit on both sides of the throne. Nadal and Djokovic feel so proud and curiously want to know what question the angel will ask Roger,but Roger walks up and sits on the throne."Do you have any questions ,Nole and Rafa?",asks Roger.
 
C

Chadillac

Guest
Reminds me of an old joke

Three mice were sitting in a bar talking about how tough they were.

The first mouse (nadal) slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times." And with that he slams another shot.

The second mouse (djok) slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those Decon tablets, cut them up and snort them just for the fun of it." And with that he slams another shot.

The third mouse (fed) slams a shot, gets up and walks away. The first two mice look at each other, and then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?"

The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to f**k the cat."
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Phoenix1983

Phoenix1983

G.O.A.T.
TheMaestro1990 said:
It's the year 2030 and the three greatest players of all time are retired. The publics' interest in the men's game is lower than ever. To keep some of the sparkle around the game alive, ATP decided - unknown to the media - to use half of the entire calender year's price money to pay Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic to play exhibition matches.

The three greats were all in the same plane, headed to an exhibition match in Washington, hosted by president Michelle Obama, when a tornado tore the plane apart. All three (and the pilot Andy Murray) died.

High, high up in the blue, blue sky, Roger, Rafa and Novak reach the pearly gates where they are welcomed by St. Peter who directly leads them to God himself.

The three step up to God who sits on his throne. God then says:

- Rafa, what is the best thing about tennis?
Rafa bows and answers:
- The best thing about tennis, for sure, is that I have been able to spread joy to the people, earn money for my living and seeing the world, no?
God felt it was a good answer. He said:
- Well said Rafa, come and sit on my left side.

God then looked at Novak and said:
- And you Novack, what is the best thing about tennis?
Novak responds carefully:
- Lord, I come from a difficult background and have managed to show my fellow man that there is a way out of it all and that one isn't doomed to a life of misery. Tennis has given me all that and at the same time, I also have been able to spread joy to the people with my unpredecented actions of love.
- Good answer Novack, God said, come and sit on my right side.

God then looked at Roger and said:
- What about you Roger?
Roger looks up, clears his throat, spits on the ground and says:
- You're sitting in my chair. I sit when I wanna sit, okay?
Click to expand...

I knew the punchline as I heard a very similar joke about Alex Ferguson, Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho many years ago :D
 
donquijote

donquijote

G.O.A.T.
TheMaestro1990 said:
...
God then looked at Novak and said:
- And you Novack, what is the best thing about tennis?
Novak responds carefully:
- Lord, I come from a difficult background and have managed to show my fellow man that there is a way out of it all and that one isn't doomed to a life of misery. Tennis has given me all that and at the same time, I also have been able to spread joy to the people with my unpredecented actions of love.
- Good answer Novack, God said, come and sit on my right side.

God then looked at Roger and said:
- What about you Roger?
Roger looks up, clears his throat, spits on the ground and says:
- You're sitting in my chair. I sit when I wanna sit, okay?
Click to expand...
Australian God?
 
Mainad

Mainad

Bionic Poster
God asks Rafa: "Were you the best tennis player you could be?"

Rafa: "I try Lord but is not easy, no. There are too many non-Clay and indoor hardcourts, no? Also I have so many injuries, no? But if I try my best, I give myself a chance, no?"

God asks Novak the same question:

Novak: " I have tried hard, Lord. I even changed my diet and used things like CVAC devices to improve my performances. I also hired Boris to help with my performance. Sometimes he helped me with my tennis too!"

God asks Roger the same question:

Roger: "Of course I was, Lord. I am the GOAT after all and everybody adores me. Don't forget, You made me that way. Sometimes people thought I was a bit arrogant so I let Rafa and Novak win a few times to prove that I can be humble too. Don't You think that was good of me, Lord?"

God retires to consider His judgement.

;)
 
Last edited:
S

sureshs

Bionic Poster
I don't recall it happening that way. Only Rafa and Novak came before me, because I had ordered Federer to be sent to hell for his losing head-to-head against Nadal and his lack of an Olympics singles gold. Then Rafa started picking his butt and I sent him to hell too. Novak is currently handling my stringing.
 
Sartorius

Sartorius

Hall of Fame
sureshs said:
I don't recall it happening that way. Only Rafa and Novak came before me, because I had ordered Federer to be sent to hell for his losing head-to-head against Nadal and his lack of an Olympics singles gold. Then Rafa started picking his butt and I sent him to hell too. Novak is currently handling my stringing.
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
 
TheMaestro1990

TheMaestro1990

Hall of Fame
Meanwhile, in a far more spicy place, Andy Murray finds himself looking around in astonishment. Fire and smoke everywhere he looks, along with screaming souls of former human bodies. Murray couldn't remember seeing such a place filled with agonizing red colours since his early childhood days in Dunblane, Scotland.

Murray is starting to shiver; feeling his flesh burning in his entire body. "Is this it? Is this where all my tantrums and swearing have taken me? Oh God, forgive me, 'cause I have sinned! I should have listened to you, Amelie", he cries. In the far distance he hears the sound of a ball bouncing... up and down, up and down, up and down. It is not the familiar sound of a tennis ball, no ... it's something else. He finally catches a glimpse of the ball: as red as the burning gates he had just been kicked in through. It's a basketball. His eyes continue to wonder from the ball, up to a face that seems awfully familiar.

"You're in hell". It's the voice of Nick Kyrgios. "Sorry to tell you that, mate".

Murray cries: "Why, oh why? Nick, you gotta help me."
Nick: "You'll learn to enjoy it in here. Hey, Bern' and Ernst', get over here will ya? We got a new member, show him around."
Bernard and Ernest, carefully weighing their thoughts, respond simultaneously: "Yes, of course, Satan, it will be our pleasure."
 
Sartorius

Sartorius

Hall of Fame
TheMaestro1990 said:
Meanwhile, in a far more spicy place, Andy Murray finds himself looking around in astonishment. Fire and smoke everywhere he looks, along with screaming souls of former human bodies. Murray couldn't remember seeing such a place filled with agonizing red colours since his early childhood days in Dunblane, Scotland.

Murray is starting to shiver; feeling his flesh burning in his entire body. "Is this it? Is this where all my tantrums and swearing have taken me? Oh God, forgive me, 'cause I have sinned! I should have listened to you, Amelie", he cries. In the far distance he hears the sound of a ball bouncing... up and down, up and down, up and down. It is not the familiar sound of a tennis ball, no ... it's something else. He finally catches a glimpse of the ball: as red as the burning gates he had just been kicked in through. It's a basketball. His eyes continue to wonder from the ball, up to a face that seems awfully familiar.

"You're in hell". It's the voice of Nick Kyrgios. "Sorry to tell you that, mate".

Murray cries: "Why, oh why? Nick, you gotta help me."
Nick: "You'll learn to enjoy it in here. Hey, Bern' and Ernst', get over here will ya? We got a new member, show him around."
Bernard and Ernest, carefully weighing their thoughts, respond simultaneously: "Yes, of course, Satan, it will be our pleasure."
Click to expand...

smithmore.gif
 
tenisdecente

tenisdecente

Hall of Fame
TheMaestro1990 said:
Meanwhile, in a far more spicy place, Andy Murray finds himself looking around in astonishment. Fire and smoke everywhere he looks, along with screaming souls of former human bodies. Murray couldn't remember seeing such a place filled with agonizing red colours since his early childhood days in Dunblane, Scotland.

Murray is starting to shiver; feeling his flesh burning in his entire body. "Is this it? Is this where all my tantrums and swearing have taken me? Oh God, forgive me, 'cause I have sinned! I should have listened to you, Amelie", he cries. In the far distance he hears the sound of a ball bouncing... up and down, up and down, up and down. It is not the familiar sound of a tennis ball, no ... it's something else. He finally catches a glimpse of the ball: as red as the burning gates he had just been kicked in through. It's a basketball. His eyes continue to wonder from the ball, up to a face that seems awfully familiar.

"You're in hell". It's the voice of Nick Kyrgios. "Sorry to tell you that, mate".

Murray cries: "Why, oh why? Nick, you gotta help me."
Nick: "You'll learn to enjoy it in here. Hey, Bern' and Ernst', get over here will ya? We got a new member, show him around."
Bernard and Ernest, carefully weighing their thoughts, respond simultaneously: "Yes, of course, Satan, it will be our pleasure."
Click to expand...

MUAHAHAHAHA poor Murray
 
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