Wanting to quit playing tennis

SystemicAnomaly

Talk Tennis Guru
This is derailing the thread a tad but I've played a guy like 50 times and have never lost and now when I play him I'm more nervous because I don't want to ever lose to him. Plus he's a nice guy but annoying as he's also whining about how I have no weapons, and diminishing my game - I do have a counterpunching baseline game but his comments just grind my gears. More related to the thread I have had some closer matches with him lately and it's bumming me out that I don't seem to playing as well against him than I used to.
So, the whining tactic appears to be having its intended effect. He's gotten into your head?
 

GuyClinch

Legend
This, just enjoy hitting a tennis ball.
Yup. If you don't like the act of playing tennis - you shouldn't play it. If the only exciting thing is keeping score and beating someone - you are going to have a problem. There will always be someone better then you. Even if you did advance to 4.5 - lots of people better. So you would lose around half the time if you played everyone. Can't stomach losing to someone more talented then you? Well there will always be guys like that as well..

If you are pro - its a different story. You are playing for money - so you keep playing as long as you are making sufficient money. You might not like the game at all - supposedly Agassi doesn't..for example. And guys who don't like it and retire stop playing sometimes.

I'd argue that in general you shouldn't engage in recreational activities you do not like. You could always do something you like to do with your free time. Even if what you really like is winning - you could combine that with an activity that you still like some when you lose.. Maybe you like playing Chess - well even if you get beat - at least you liked playing the match.
 

GuyClinch

Legend
This is derailing the thread a tad but I've played a guy like 50 times and have never lost and now when I play him I'm more nervous because I don't want to ever lose to him. Plus he's a nice guy but annoying as he's also whining about how I have no weapons, and diminishing my game - I do have a counterpunching baseline game but his comments just grind my gears. More related to the thread I have had some closer matches with him lately and it's bumming me out that I don't seem to playing as well against him than I used to.
Well if you beat him 50 times just turn things around on him. Your weapons are more then good enough to beat him. I mean 50 times in a row - that's pretty epic. If you rib him back - he will probably shut up. He is just trying to make himself feel better with your total domination. Don't go at him too hard - he will probably just quit playing you.
 

user92626

G.O.A.T.
Winning and losing isnt what tennis is about.

We arent playing for money, only fun
This, just enjoy hitting a tennis ball.
When people dumb tennis down to just winning, losing -- especially when they lose :) -- they tend to say that ^^^. The above. :)

Kinda like they exaggerate rec tennis to a grotesque point and then argue against it. Whatever makes them feel better after losing.



Winning, losing is just an indicator or symptom. Behind it is a lot of other things. Some people use it to measure their learning, ability, physical exercise or pure fun of being to do certain things or of implementing their will.

I used to not able to volley and told myself I could learn it well. Now we play a boatload of 3v3 where volley, OH are king, and I show myself I could perform volley, OH very well. Naturally the many wins prove the it.

OTOH, I used to compete well in singles with a buddy. This year I registered a lot of loses which partly proves my fitness is in decline.




Everyone comes to the courts with different agenda for their tennis. We won't have time to go into each reason or can't even suggest reasons are the same, but suffice to say the result of our performance is the only common denominator and the indicator of their performance (if they care to track).
 

PKorda

Semi-Pro
So, the whining tactic appears to be having its intended effect. He's gotten into your head?
I don't think the intended effect is to get into my head. I think it just makes him feel better as is often the case when more aggressive players make comments like that against more defensive players. And I don't think it's impacting the outcome of the matches. The matches have gotten a bit more competitive but I don't think that's the reason.
 

Morch Us

Professional
To soothen your ego, just know the below facts (it will help).

1. EVERYONE improves very quickly (with minimal effort) in the beginning, or when they start tennis. This is just because there is a lot of room for easy improvement (low hanging fruits), and there is no way to not improve. But as the time goes by, the amount of effort you have to put in to improve increases by a lot, and so you either stop improving, or even start fluctuating based on your other priorities in life (rec player level saturation).

2. Your opponent won against you most probably will be in the same level/situation once they reach same experience as you. (rec player level saturation).

3. EVERY dog has its day (or two). So just because someone won against you one day does not make him a better player than you.

Knowing the above will help and give a temporary relief, so that you can go home and sleep the pain of that loss.

Now the long term solution is, kill the ego. Just know that you are as vulnarable tennis player as everyone else whom you play with. They play with you because they think you are at their approximate level. Also if you feel like you are spending too much money on tennis, with no return, you can always stop doing that.

Everyone "thinks" they want to improve, but in reality, most rec players are not determined/motivated enough to put the work needed in a systematic way to grab those high hanging fruits (after the first few years of tennis, and fast improvement during that time). You either accept this and move on, or put the "real" effort to improve.

It feels embarrassing and disappointing to lose despite having more experience than him.
 
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GuyClinch

Legend
When people dumb tennis down to just winning, losing -- especially when they lose :) -- they tend to say that ^^^. The above. :)

Kinda like they exaggerate rec tennis to a grotesque point and then argue against it. Whatever makes them feel better after losing.

Winning, losing is just an indicator or symptom. Behind it is a lot of other things. Some people use it to measure their learning, ability, physical exercise or pure fun of being to do certain things or of implementing their will.
LMAO. If you always win then you are not playing anyone challenging enough unless your name is Novak or something.

This doesn't even make any sense. If you are not losing about half the time -then you are not playing appropriate competition. Anyone can "win' a lot by playing down. If we just start playing old ladies that doesn't mean we are doing it right.

The only people who post stuff like this - who think you should consistently win are just playing the same old buddy over and over. Which isn't exactly the same as playing actual competition.

Focus on always winning is beyond idiotic because again unless you are pro or are pro sandbagger - you should be losing some.
 

user92626

G.O.A.T.
LMAO. If you always win then you are not playing anyone challenging enough unless your name is Novak or something.

This doesn't even make any sense. If you are not losing about half the time -then you are not playing appropriate competition. Anyone can "win' a lot by playing down. If we just start playing old ladies that doesn't mean we are doing it right.

The only people who post stuff like this - who think you should consistently win are just playing the same old buddy over and over. Which isn't exactly the same as playing actual competition.

Focus on always winning is beyond idiotic because again unless you are pro or are pro sandbagger - you should be losing some.
And it's idiotic to assume everyone play tennis for competition, or make winning the goal. That's exactly my point.

Don't try to fit everyone into your own narrow thinking.

I play with the same group of people because that's my own setup and background. Tennis is never my first priority or even something that I set out to conquer. That's just stupid. It's recreational and supposed to fit in the time I have available.

So, use your little mind for a change, if I always play at the same place, same time, even in a large pool, where the he|| do I find competition?


-----
And when it comes to idiotic posts and reasoning it never fails to attract @S&V-not_dead_yet if it contains some insults for me. LOL. Sometimes I wonder what this bladder mouth thinks.
 

Finster

Rookie
I've been playing tennis for many years and have taken many lessons. I play with a friend of mine who hasn't played anywhere near the same amount nor received the same amount of instruction who I usually beat. However every time I lose a set, or a best of 3 match against him, it just makes me want to quit playing. It feels embarrassing and disappointing to lose despite having more experience than him. It makes me feel like my life has been a complete waste if someone can just pick up the same later in life and still beat me. Like what has been the point of me playing for so long, or the point of having taken lessons when someone without can still easily beat me?

Should I try to not have this mindset? If so, how. If not, should I actually just quit then?
I feel your pain and have had the same thought many times. First, playing a long time doesn't mean anything if you're just performing the same wrong strokes over and over again. You may learn to adapt and make that stroke work in certain situations but you will hit a ceiling of how good you can get. Real improvement comes from drastically changing something and willing to get worse before you get better. Second, coaching or tennis lessons is a real crapshoot. A coach can say things like "you need to hit with more topspin" or "hit out front" but if he doesn't specifically teach you how to do that and what I mean is teach you how to trick your body into doing the better improved technique to counter all the years of bad muscle memory, then the coaching won't be effective. And even if the other person doesn't have as much experience, sheer athletic ability such as just being able to get to more balls may make up for more beginner technique.
 

socallefty

Legend
I miss the endorphins when I don‘t play. That happy hormonal high that comes from just competing on the tennis court makes up for any sting from a loss. Even in a match that I lose, I enjoy it till I lose the last point as I always feel I have a chance until then.
 

user92626

G.O.A.T.
I miss the endorphins when I don‘t play. That happy hormonal high that comes from just competing on the tennis court makes up for any sting from a loss. Even in a match that I lose, I enjoy it till I lose the last point as I always feel I have a chance until then.
Question for you and anyone interested to answer,

Outside of league and tournament, what game do you play? Like, a formal-format best of 3 set match? Or, some sort of special set, or confine to specific time?
 

socallefty

Legend
Question for you and anyone interested to answer,

Outside of league and tournament, what game do you play? Like, a formal-format best of 3 set match? Or, some sort of special set, or confine to specific time?
I always start off playing a best of 3 set format match. But in about 50% of cases, my opponent will claim after we split sets that their wife expects them back, they need to go home for dinner etc. and so, we end up playing a 10-point match tiebreaker. I don‘t like it, but have to go along with it. On weekday evenings after 6 and on weekends after 10 am, the courts are wide open and we can play 3 or 3.5 hours without any issues - the only thing a match gets stopped because of time restriction is if it is time for the club to close (9pm on weekdays, 6pm on weekends).
 

user92626

G.O.A.T.
I always start off playing a best of 3 set format match. But in about 50% of cases, my opponent will claim after we split sets that their wife expects them back, they need to go home for dinner etc. and so, we end up playing a 10-point match tiebreaker. I don‘t like it, but have to go along with it. On weekday evenings after 6 and on weekends after 10 am, the courts are wide open and we can play 3 or 3.5 hours without any issues - the only thing a match gets stopped because of time restriction is if it is time for the club to close (9pm on weekdays, 6pm on weekends).
Nice. You have it much MUCH better than I do. I would kill to have a couple "singles" opponents/friends to play with. Two full sets + a 10-pt TB sounds great. I don't complain or impose my preference over things like that.

What I'm a little sad and annoyed about is I have only one "singles" friend who only prefers to play for 1 hr/week during his lunchtime at work, and I have to drive 20 miles one way for it. It was acceptable pre-covid since I worked close by but I no longer go to work for 15 months already.

He's passionate and fair minded about tennis and rules like me (not a single dispute in 8 years over anything) so our tennis is great but I cannot convince him to play any other time, eg weekends, after work, for a long, more satisfying match. :(

As for my weekend group - 20 plus peeps - not only does no one want to do singles, we are going the wrong way with playing more and more 3v3. Minimal movements.
 

socallefty

Legend
I have averaged about 120 singles matches and 95 doubles matches a year since 2011 because I have 8-10 singles buddies at any given time and about 15-20 players in my doubles group typically for social play. So, I organize about 3 singles matches a week and doubles on two courts a couple of times every week. In addition, I played USTA team leagues for about half the years and took weekly coaching lessons in addition to one practice singles drill session every week.

I belong to a private club with more than a thousand players (22 courts) and so, there are at least 50 players who are 4.5+ that I know and probably more that I don’t know. Since I used to captain the USTA league team, many players like being on my social list as I give priority to my singles opponents when I set up doubles and have too many players signed up. Living in Southern California which is a hotbed for talented tennis players and where you can play outdoor tennis all year long helps.

You have got to find a way to network and meet more players if you want to play more tennis with a variety of opponents and usually it starts with joining a private club where you can find the more enthusiastic players who play 3-5 times a week. Most of the ex-college players who are 4.5+ will typically play in a private club in the US once they are in their thirties or forties.
 
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Turbo-87

Legend
I don't get why people would quit a sport that they love. I get that it isn't fun losing or not progressing as quickly as you had hoped, but if you are otherwise healthy, injury-free, and able to play ... just play. There are plenty of people who would love to play but just can't for one reason or another, i.e. health or injury. Be glad you are able to play and enjoy what you can out of it. One thing I have learned is to have a short memory between matches and even points. I've always admired Barty's ability to stay even-keeled no matter what. She has the same temperament whether the score is 5-0 or 0-5.
 
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Ronaldo

Bionic Poster
I don't get why people would quit a sport that they love. I get that it isn't fun losing or not progressing as quickly as you had hoped, but if you are otherwise healthy, injury-free, and able to play ... just play. There are plenty of people who would love to play but just can't for one reason or another, i.e. health or injury. Be glad you are able to play and enjoy what you can out of it. One thing I have learned is to have a short memory between matches and even points. I've always admired Barty's ability to stay even-keeled no matter what. She has the same temperament whether the score is 5-0 or 0-5.
Sometimes..................................................always & forever, its not the game it's the people you play or it is just your performance.
 

user92626

G.O.A.T.
I don't get why people would quit a sport that they love. I get that it isn't fun losing or not progressing as quickly as you had hoped, but if you are otherwise healthy, injury-free, and able to play ... just play. There are plenty of people who would love to play but just can't for one reason or another, i.e. health or injury. Be glad you are able to play and enjoy what you can out of it. One thing I have learned is to have a short memory between matches and even points. I've always admired Barty's ability to stay even-keeled no matter what. She has the same temperament whether the score is 5-0 or 0-5.
Have you only had one hobby in life?

Most people have had several when they grew up. The thing about hobbies is they come and go.


I'm also feeling burnt out with my sessions at the moment. They are heading down the wrong ways, not very constructive to positive things.
 
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Turbo-87

Legend
Have you only had one hobby in life?

Most people have had several when they grew up. The thing about hobbies is they come and go.


I'm also feeling burnt out with my sessions at the moment. They are heading down the wrong ways, not very constructive to positive things.
Fair enough. I have had a lot of hobbies, and yes, they come and go. In my case, very few of them faded away because of a loss of interest, it was more a paucity of opportunities to participate, especially as team sports dry up over time.
You do make a good point about burnout. I don't think I have been to that point regarding tennis, but I can see where it could come up if I am in an extended slump. In most cases, I am just happy to be able to play and enjoy it for what it is worth. If I wasn't having fun, it would be a different story. It isn't putting bread on the table.
 

Ronaldo

Bionic Poster
Read yest that MN, after not playing last year, had lost interest in playing tennis. The longer the layoff the less hunger to return
 
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PK6

Rookie
Read yest that MN, after not playing last year, had lost interest in playing tennis. The longer the layoff the less hunger to return
Agreed!!! It’s no longer a weekend hobby!!! You must be fit to play!!! Not play to get fit!!! Otherwise why bother. Not being negative but it’s the truth.
 

Ronaldo

Bionic Poster
i love tennis so much i could give up competing at all and just hit 3 hours of rallies every day and enjoy the progression i make in my strokes :)
Used to watch the women taking group lessons from a local pro. They were so happy and motivated. Especially the teaching pro. Even as she left the club in her G wagon
 

acintya

Legend
btw seriously. I am not kidding. Whoever cannot control their nerves when competing, should just stop to competing and do only hitting sessions like i am doing currently. (i am doing it for different reasons) :)
and to make it even more interesting, just try to play from ground up with your non dominant hand. IT will raise your level, and open up your brain. I am not kidding.

this is also why NO rightie will ever play like Nadal - because its a brain thing.
when I play like a leftie i automatically HIT more spin, and also the serving is more spinny. I dont know why but i think its got to do with brain wiring and perception. I have said this a few years ago and I am saying it now again.
I am now over 30 hitting sessions in with my left hand and now I am slowly getting some power. Its hard and it will probably take me years to fully develop it but i dont care. However its a such great feeling when you rip it like little Nadal. :D

 

Bender

G.O.A.T.
as long as no one was watching you lose or find out about it then its ok
Yeah, just do what I do and post on TTW saying how good you are.

No, but for real, OP, quit if you really want, but just know we get threads every week about people who quit and come back a decade later wishing they stuck with the sport.
 

user92626

G.O.A.T.
Yeah, just do what I do and post on TTW saying how good you are.

No, but for real, OP, quit if you really want, but just know we get threads every week about people who quit and come back a decade later wishing they stuck with the sport.
How do we hear from people who quit tennis and picked up other interests and became millionaires, married supermodels? :unsure:

I promise you guys if I ever went that route I'd come back here and let y'all know. I'm that kinda guy. Very cool. :sneaky:
 

Ronaldo

Bionic Poster
How do we hear from people who quit tennis and picked up other interests and became millionaires, married supermodels? :unsure:

I promise you guys if I ever went that route I'd come back here and let y'all know. I'm that kinda guy. Very cool. :sneaky:
There is this guy who quit tennis................................................
 

PK6

Rookie
I’ve decided I need to lose weight as I got to fat!!! Need to be fit to play and not play to get fit. If I can’t achieve this it’s time to be done playing all together. Agreed on taking lessons as they are a waste of time and $$$ as you need to do thousands of reps instead. You definitely need to be all in committed as it’s full time job to get better playing. For me it’s run it’s coarse and time to quit and do something else as I’m tired of losing matches as ive wasted too much money and time on this lame ass sport!!!
 

movdqa

Talk Tennis Guru
I’ve decided I need to lose weight as I got to fat!!! Need to be fit to play and not play to get fit. If I can’t achieve this it’s time to be done playing all together. Agreed on taking lessons as they are a waste of time and $$$ as you need to do thousands of reps instead. You definitely need to be all in committed as it’s full time job to get better playing. For me it’s run it’s coarse and time to quit and do something else as I’m tired of losing matches as ive wasted too much money and time on this lame ass sport!!!
Quality of Life will increase with better fitness and lower weight in a lot of different ways.
 
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Ronaldo

Bionic Poster
Lost weight and improved by using a ball machine that had added topspin. Discovered no player I faced hit with that much topspin so any shot they could hit was easy pickins. Of course my elbow & wrist rebelled. This plan ended in pain & misery,
 

PK6

Rookie
I’ve decided to take long long long break from playing so I can get back into shape/lose weight. As I said before you must be in shape to play not play to be in shape as well make this your second job with hitting ball machine/serves. I got fed up losing gaining to much weight/fat. Got to rid myself of social life as well. With sports back in full swing. Hate missing games because USTA/tennis drill and play are on same time as football/basketball/hockey/soccer/baseball are on.
 

movdqa

Talk Tennis Guru
I’ve decided to take long long long break from playing so I can get back into shape/lose weight. As I said before you must be in shape to play not play to be in shape as well make this your second job with hitting ball machine/serves. I got fed up losing gaining to much weight/fat. Got to rid myself of social life as well. With sports back in full swing. Hate missing games because USTA/tennis drill and play are on same time as football/basketball/hockey/soccer/baseball are on.
You can train and still hit from time to time so that you don't lose too much of your tennis.
 

heninfan99

Talk Tennis Guru
I’ve decided to take long long long break from playing so I can get back into shape/lose weight. As I said before you must be in shape to play not play to be in shape as well make this your second job with hitting ball machine/serves. I got fed up losing gaining to much weight/fat. Got to rid myself of social life as well. With sports back in full swing. Hate missing games because USTA/tennis drill and play are on same time as football/basketball/hockey/soccer/baseball are on.
The court can be your gym.
 

Ronaldo

Bionic Poster
You can train and still hit from time to time so that you don't lose too much of your tennis.
Had a partner/team captain who I met for the first time subbing in a singles league. He ran 10-11 miles before playing two sets. That was 30 yrs ago. He is a Pickler now
 

movdqa

Talk Tennis Guru
Had a partner/team captain who I met for the first time subbing in a singles league. He ran 10-11 miles before playing two sets. That was 30 yrs ago. He is a Pickler now
I've only lost one hitting partner to PickleBall though he's only part-time. He's actually in much better shape than the people he plays with. My guess is that it's social pickle as he works a lot harder on the tennis court than the pickle court.
 

PK6

Rookie
The court can be your gym.
How?
not interested-I’ve been doing this and still losing. I’ve spent to much $$$ and not getting rest. I’d rather go to sportsbook bet on games and win money. Much better than playing and always losing matches. Plus tennis friends frown on betting. Not really interested in hanging out with them as their socials got me fat
 

movdqa

Talk Tennis Guru
I’m eating clean but still fat
Decrease the clean calories.

Losing weight (from my experience):

- Fast regularly
- Join a support group
- Count calories
- HIIT
- Cardio
- Strength Training
- Get enough sleep
- Don't drink sugar
- Don't eat stuff with added sugar
 

PK6

Rookie
Just got to be be lots of sleep protein green vegetables water!!! Have to cut back/out social life. That got me fat/put to much weight on.
 
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