WATCH THE BALL, will ya'!

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by tennis tom, Dec 21, 2016.

  1. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Playing a meaningless rec match yesterday for some pre-tournament practice with some clueless tennis deplorables, (not a political reference). To tell you how clueless, the subject of Bill Tilden came up and the best player athletically speaking on the court had never heard of him. One of the guys came mainly for the pleasure of sitting on the changeovers, (probably there to get away from the little woman), and after about one hour and fifteen minutes showed some signs of warming up what remained of his game from forty years ago. The third guy came to play, therefore didn't partake of any socializing, like revealing his name--this is serious post league season tennis after-all and wouldn't want to be caught fraternizing with the enemy--which is anyone not on his 3.5, 70's+ team--we did discern that he had a pulse, and he enjoyed wandering off into the corners, after unneeded balls--"We have two!"--for some rest in the shade--this was totally an autonomic reflex on his part after decades of conditioning. So I had two new sleeves of balls to toss into the fray, but before I could, one of the gents volunteer his can of Costco's finest Penns just previously used from the morning. I tossed in my can of ATP Penns from the day before for the warm-up. The bitching starts almost immediately about too many balls on the court and they're not the same. I told them I'd rather be hitting balls then picking them up and for our purposes the differences wouldn't matter. To make a long story short, we played with all six balls, it didn't make any difference, three of the six turned up missing an hour into the BIG MATCH, one sitting on a chair on the court adjacent--maybe theball wanted to watch that match and not be hacked to death in ours. Two of the six balls never were found, and since they didn't belong to two of the players, they left without making any effort to find them.
     
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  2. kevrol

    kevrol Semi-Pro

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    To be fair I had to google Bill Tilden. Guess i'm a tennis deplorable which, as the only player on the board who isn't at least about to get bumped to 4.5, you all had already established.
     
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  3. SeeItHitIt

    SeeItHitIt Rookie

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    ...one of our regulars didnt post last night for dubs play, so we borrowed a 16 year old kid from a couple of courts down who had just finished a lesson. His name was Shane. Being of a generation that might (would) pass as his grandparents', we asked if it was 'Shane' as in the movie.

    A blank stare from the kid...deplorable!
     
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  4. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    What are they teaching in the schools these days?--Self esteem?
     
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  5. norcal

    norcal Hall of Fame

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    I'm sitting here wondering how you get a guy to come out and play when you don't know his name. How do you get a hold of him? Dial random numbers asking if they have ever heard of Big Bill?
     
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  6. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    We're talking arranged matches at clubs, this is SOCAL where they vie for who is the 'best match maker', not Norcal where the club owners are too cheap to hire someone to keep the inmates from running the asylum.
     
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  7. PrestigeDave45

    PrestigeDave45 Semi-Pro

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    You must be a member at my club. This would constitute regular fare where I play. Good story. Best take the light hearted view. Taking tennis serious with these guys would be a heart breaking experience. My condolances!
     
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  8. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for the empathy! Yes, I try not to get too worked up about it, or winning. I use it mainly for exercise and practice. I worked on my drop-shot and top-spin lob a lot, not worrying about the outcome. I don't make up the pairings, so don't worry about making or losing friends, I may not ever see them again. I at least make an effort to get acquainted, asking them where they're from, what their occupation is, etc. I find they don't want to talk mostly--this is serious competition after-all--very macho. They seem pretty secretive about what they do, maybe they're in witness protection.
     
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  9. WYK

    WYK Professional

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    I am nearly 50, and Tilden was a fossil when I started playing at 8. If I meet someone whom has no clue who Borg is, then I might roll my eyes a bit.
     
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  10. kramer woodie

    kramer woodie Semi-Pro

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    WYK

    I got twenty-one years on you junior! I know Borg, Kramer, Poncho, Tilden, Chang and even Nasty...would even throw in an Ash, Laver, Rosewall,
    etc. How about Billy, Rosie, Valeria, and even a Little Mo?

    As for being fossilized, while only a certain part of me when I see a truly beautiful female. Then my eyes roll.

    Of course, from the younger generations I don"t expect much knowledge to come forth. Gotta live long with an open mind thirsty for knowledge.

    Don't get your panties bunched up...Just funnin with ya!!!

    Aloha
     
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  11. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Could you please inform of us your findings.
     
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  12. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    WATCH THE BALL! Part 2. One of the dufus's--or is the plural of dufus dufi?, misses the ball into the net, as is his want about 98% of the time for the first hour and fifteen minutes, finally, finding his game, for the last 15 minutes. I gave him a good warm-up hitting every ball within his reach like a ball machine sans remote. I'm finding most rec players are just getting warmed up about an hour or more into the "match", eyeballs starting to focus, hand starting to rudimentarily coordinating with the nerves running from the brain--and--then it's time to quit!--off to the bar, cribbage, tee-time or back to the little woman and the self-propelling-up Lazy-Boy lounger. The dufus in question, after hitting his shot into the net would go into denial, dejectedly about face--never bothering to pick-up the ball, slowly walking back--leaving the ball to roll three to five feet from the net--leaving that work for someone else to fetch for him or to remain a hazard in the shadow of a light poll. Picking up the ball he just missed into the net would have probably been a sad reminder to his ego that perhaps he needs to find a wall somewhere before or after the match to practice.

    The other dufi, the athletic one, who did not volunteer a can of balls at the start, would never track the out shots behind him, ricocheting off the fence polls, posing a hazard to his partner--or maybe HIM. He failed to track two balls that rolled perfectly through the fence opening between our two courts, for goals and onto the adjacent court--I was tracking them because we were now down to four of our original six balls, and at the rate we were losing balls, soon we were down to two, which eventually happened. At this point I made a desperate plea to the adjacent court--a tennis ball Amber Alert--that if they found any errant balls to kindly return them--maybe they had kidnapped our balls because their's were running away from home or being kidnapped also. I did find one sitting on one of their plastic $2 chairs--I wonder where they thought it may have come from--DUH???--I know my first inclination, when finding a nearly new ball on my court, is to set it on a chair until it's parents come looking for it.
     
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  13. kevrol

    kevrol Semi-Pro

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    World #1 from 1920-25. 10 Grand Slams.
     
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  14. stapletonj

    stapletonj Professional

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    bad tennis is better than no tennis, the West Virginian said from his frozen perch......
     
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  15. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Agreed! There's also Aussie reruns on Tennis Channel, or reading a good tennis book--recently read Harry Hopman's, "Lobbing into the Sun", short and full of good tips, and just ordered Ellsworth Vine's book, never knew he wrote one--and--Florida is just a short drive away.
     
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  16. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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  17. xFullCourtTenniSx

    xFullCourtTenniSx Hall of Fame

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    Who are Tilden and Borg? Never heard of them.
    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Fintft

    Fintft Hall of Fame

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    And here I was thinking the post was about how important watching the ball/keeping eyes at contact point through the contact was...

    True people loose my balls as well and it's almost always me that brings them (Slazengers for hard courts, Dunlop Fort of hartru).
     
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  19. kramer woodie

    kramer woodie Semi-Pro

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    Tennis Tom

    I've always said "guys have a very hard time, keeping their balls in their own court".

    Aloha
     
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  20. darrinbaker00

    darrinbaker00 Professional

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    Also, two convictions for molesting teenage boys. A true deplorable.
     
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  21. kevrol

    kevrol Semi-Pro

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    Yikes. I didn't read that far.
     
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  22. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    I've played with two older gents who ball-boyed for him when they were tikes, and they were warned not to go up to his room to view his etchings if asked to by big Bill. I think he served some jail time for child molestation. He also pursued a career in Hollyweird, I believe he did some acting and writing. He is considered one of the best players in history, served 152mph with a wood racket, verified by the radar of his day, and could hold five balls in one hand--he was a big guy.
     
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  23. Big_Dangerous

    Big_Dangerous G.O.A.T.

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    Come back Shane!

    I'm pretty sure he dies at the end, actually.
     
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  24. Big_Dangerous

    Big_Dangerous G.O.A.T.

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  25. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    It happened again today, the worst and rudest player in the dubs, nonchalantly shanks a ball (that he doesn't own) over the net into the teaching court, where it becomes lost forever amongst a hundred or more practice balls. Mr. Rude makes no effort to track the ball, when there would have been an opportunity to retrieve it. I think it's part of the denial process, that they suck so bad and don't want to dwell on it by retrieving the proof of their suckyness. Then, the perp goes to drink a sip of water on the change of sides, and berates the rest of us for taking too long on the change-over, exchanging some holiday pleasantries with the visiting son of the gentlemen who was generous enough to open the new can of balls--the perp didn't seem to know that you players have ninety seconds on the changeovers. Oh, and of course, Big Rude having the worst serve on the court, unilaterally decides he should serve first, which he promptly loses--no serve, no volley, no BH and playing too tight to the net, allowing opponents to lob at will.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2016
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  26. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Playing with a lady who is wearing tights, that have no pockets, holds only one ball, using her partners as tools, holding the other balls for her. Of course she seldom gets her first serve in--if you're gonna' wear pants on the court, get some with pockets--or better yet, stick to golf or mah jongg--idea--use a ball holder, or two, that clips onto your tights if you choose to wear pants with no pockets.

    A variation on this theme is when they are at net, and instead of hitting a stray ball into the net, they slovenly without looking, hit it to the side fence, where it goes through the opening, disrupting play on the adjacent court--or, goes under the bench to get lost--or, gets lost among the bags on the sideline--or ricochets off the side fence coming back on the court to be a hazard to the peripherally challenged--hackers are such morons and slobs--when will they ever learn--NEVER!
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017
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  27. GlennK

    GlennK Rookie

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    Isn't Borg an alien race from Star Trek? What does that have to do with tennis?

    I have heard of both Tilden and Bjorn. But not that movie Shane. Had to look that one up. I never cared for Westerns unless Clint Eastwood starred in them.
     
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  28. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Remember that they are thinking the same about you
     
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  29. Nostradamus

    Nostradamus Talk Tennis Guru

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    Stupikd Stupid comment. Watch the ball,,,,,doesn't work in making player watch the ball...... you should instead say " eye has to be same level as the ball".........meaning eye on the ball, meaning watch the ball.....and get low by bending the knee and Eye has to be on the same level as the ball you hit hit it..... This is especially true when hitting Volleys....
     
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  30. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Not as stupid as yours, if you'd READ my OP, you'd have realized it had nothing to do with what you think it was about and are talking about--you are seeing too far into the future Nostradamous--or maybe into the past?
     
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  31. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    So if I am picking up a shoelace volley, I need to be almost flat on the ground looking at the ball? Or on an overhead smash I should get a ladder to look at the ball at the same height?
     
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  32. Time to take a break from tennis man...
     
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  33. S&V-not_dead_yet

    S&V-not_dead_yet Hall of Fame

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    But then he'd be just "Tom"...
     
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  34. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Why? What makes you say that? Care to elaborate? What alternative activity do you suggest? Were you one of the ones in the match--no worries--I won't mention any names or take video.
     
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  35. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Maybe watch your first serve into the net while you're at it! Played a rec club round-robin today and one of the servers NEVER looked to see what was happening in front of him. He missed his first serve maybe EVERY time for the first two sets, until he got "warmed-up" for the last few games. He would just go into his service motion with no look at his opponents. You could be doing a head-stand and he wouldn't know it. The worst thing for HIS side was when his partner would be retrieving his first serve, rolling back from the net to HIS service line, he would not look to see that his partner was scampering to pick-up the rolling ball and not anywhere near being ready at the net--amazing! I got a few free points hitting to his un-staffed partner's half of the court. His partner complained to us that he wasn't ready, and I said talk to your partner, not me about it, I'm not the one who's serving without checking to see what's going on. His partner did complain but it didn't do much good--Mr. Lack of Ball awareness didn't take much notice.
     
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  36. nah just sounds like its getting you really worked up
     
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  37. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    No, not really, just commenting on the nature of human nature and the human comedy--you can either laugh or cry. Without people like me, what would there to be to read here? The royal assholes would not waste their time contributing to a message board, they would be out there finding someone to screw. I like to hit tennis balls, it's a lot more fun then picking them up or tracking them down because dufus, who hasn't opened a can in five years, doesn't care to track the ball he just hit into a black-hole--or into someone's bag.
     
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