what's the practice in your church....

#1
me and my wife have been attending this church for 3 years now and one of the practice that they encourage is to pair up with different couples of the church and meet on a regular basis, the church mainly encourage to be open in confessing your sins to fellow members, to your wife, and be open about whatever is going on in your life to fellow members, they also put emphasis on inviting people to church, sharing their belief in the bible..
 
#3
tnkGod4tns said:
me and my wife have been attending this church for 3 years now and one of the practice that they encourage is to pair up with different couples of the church and meet on a regular basis, the church mainly encourage to be open in confessing your sins to fellow members, to your wife, and be open about whatever is going on in your life to fellow members, they also put emphasis on inviting people to church, sharing their belief in the bible..
Sounds about like all four of the baptist churches I was a member of. :)
 

simi

Hall of Fame
#4
tnkGod4tns said:
...one of the practice that they encourage is to pair up with different couples of the church and meet on a regular basis...
There are several benefits that come out of such relationships. One of the most important is the concept of accountability. Those who strive to live a life according to the dictates of the New Testament encounter many temptations in the world these days. The idea of accountability is a very strong force in overcoming such temptations.
 
#5
i don't necessarily agree with this practice of being open and confessing sins to my wife and fellow members, sometimes I feel pressure doing it but my wife is convince that this is the church for us, i guess it's truly hard to make the bible your standards, sometimes i feel like avoiding people from the church feeling that i'm being brainwash, oh well am i bad or what, anybody have bad experiences with their churches before and ending up going to other churches, i understand that our different faiths is probably one of the most debatable subjects out there and everybody feels that their church is the true church.
 

simi

Hall of Fame
#6
My recommendation to you is to go to someone older than yourself and who you respect and discuss these issues with him. Perhaps an elder in your church, or maybe even a different church. These things are universal. A tennis internet forum really isn't the proper place to seek guidance in this matter. Best wishes to you in your quest for knowledge and truth.
 
#7
tnkGod4tns said:
i don't necessarily agree with this practice of being open and confessing sins to my wife and fellow members, sometimes I feel pressure doing it but my wife is convince that this is the church for us, i guess it's truly hard to make the bible your standards, sometimes i feel like avoiding people from the church feeling that i'm being brainwash, oh well am i bad or what, anybody have bad experiences with their churches before and ending up going to other churches, i understand that our different faiths is probably one of the most debatable subjects out there and everybody feels that their church is the true church.
Forget church, you need grammar school!:mrgreen:

Anyway, I stopped going to Church when I was a teen and this really unscrupulous, dishonest, shyster of a person began telling me how to live my life in a righteous way. Of course, she wasn't aware that I knew the truth about her and when I saw her face and listened to how convincingly she spoke about the rights and wrongs of this world and her belief in her faith, I knew I would never return and always have doubts about anyone telling anyone else how to live their life 'properly'.

I am totally confident in knowing what is right and what is wrong and do not need superficial symbols or other people's words to convince me to do the right things.
 
#8
adely said:
Forget church, you need grammar school!:mrgreen:

Anyway, I stopped going to Church when I was a teen and this really unscrupulous, dishonest, shyster of a person began telling me how to live my life in a righteous way. Of course, she wasn't aware that I knew the truth about her and when I saw her face and listened to how convincingly she spoke about the rights and wrongs of this world and her belief in her faith, I knew I would never return and always have doubts about anyone telling anyone else how to live their life 'properly'.

I am totally confident in knowing what is right and what is wrong and do not need superficial symbols or other people's words to convince me to do the right things.
 
#9
adely said:
Forget church, you need grammar school!:mrgreen:

Anyway, I stopped going to Church when I was a teen and this really unscrupulous, dishonest, shyster of a person began telling me how to live my life in a righteous way. Of course, she wasn't aware that I knew the truth about her and when I saw her face and listened to how convincingly she spoke about the rights and wrongs of this world and her belief in her faith, I knew I would never return and always have doubts about anyone telling anyone else how to live their life 'properly'.

I am totally confident in knowing what is right and what is wrong and do not need superficial symbols or other people's words to convince me to do the right things.
sorry since we are not in english class i figure it's okay just to write without checking my grammar, actually i had a's in my english class just too lazy to type and correct my grammar, i'm glad u know what is right and wrong i just hope you are right.
 
#10
simi said:
My recommendation to you is to go to someone older than yourself and who you respect and discuss these issues with him. Perhaps an elder in your church, or maybe even a different church. These things are universal. A tennis internet forum really isn't the proper place to seek guidance in this matter. Best wishes to you in your quest for knowledge and truth.
Isn't that what "Odds and Ends" for?
 

Phil

Hall of Fame
#11
tnkGod4tns said:
Isn't that what "Odds and Ends" for?
No, I don't think so. There's a limit, or there should be, even here. This isn't church or a confessional, and making it so only degrades the quality of this board. Do what the other poster suggested-find someone knowledgeable about this subject IN PERSON instead of fishing on the Internet for answers to your dilemma.
 
#12
tnkGod4tns said:
one of the practice that they encourage is to pair up with different couples of the church and meet on a regular basis, the church mainly encourage to be open in confessing your sins to fellow members
RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!! Far away from that place. This practice will lead to nothing but trouble.
 
#14
My church has a thing where 3 couples have dinner once a month for 3 monthes, and the host couple invites another couple, so there is 8 people having dinner. It's conveniently called 'Supper's 8'.
 
#15
adely said:
Anyway, I stopped going to Church when I was a teen and this really unscrupulous, dishonest, shyster of a person began telling me how to live my life in a righteous way. Of course, she wasn't aware that I knew the truth about her.
You knew "the truth" about her? At that point, I'd say all bets are off; you should've put your bat-in-her-[size=+1]b[/size]elfry and slapped bellies with her.

The practice of "swapping in confidence" is imo, flat out wierd; and, sanctioned by a house of God no less?? We're talking "lay persons" not theologically trained spiritual advisors.

Who's the pastor? Fritz Peterson? ..... Mike Kekich?
 
#16
tnkGod4tns said:
Isn't that what "Odds and Ends" for?
Phil said:
No, I don't think so. There's a limit, or there should be, even here. This isn't church or a confessional, and making it so only degrades the quality of this board. Do what the other poster suggested-find someone knowledgeable about this subject IN PERSON instead of fishing on the Internet for answers to your dilemma.
I respectfully disagree Phil.
Here’s a suggestion. When scrolling down the list of threads in ‘at least‘, odds and ends, if you don’t want to talk about it or read about it, don’t talk about it, or read about it.
To debate civilly is fine. And I suppose you did.
For instance, posters are not confessing any sins.
To say what you think is acceptable in a section called odds and ends, is reaching.
And that remark about it only degrades. OH REALLY.
IMHO, You stating that talking about this subject is a no no and degrades this board,,,,,,,,,, degrades this board.

In response to tnkGod4tns
My suggestion is to study Acts.
Paraphrasing William MacDonald. If man, an institution, and or a theologian center brings a gospel other than the gospel preached by the apostles and recorded in the New Testament, they are to be rejected. Judge them by the gospel not the gospel by them.
 
#17
tnkGod4tns said:
Isn't that what "Odds and Ends" for?
Well, this isn't exactly the best place for the answer to your question. I'd give the same answer simi did if you had asked for legal advice or a medical diagnosis. Namely, you're better off looking elsewhere.

Having said that, I'll answer your question anyways. My church is the tennis court so my practice is 30 minutes forehands, 30 minutes backhands. I asked my guru if it should be 20/40 since my backhand is weaker and he said I was going to H*ll. I asked him if I could go to Hades instead. He said no.

"Pugatory?"
"No.

"Which level of H*ll?"
At which point he took his racquet and hit me in the head. Thus, I was enlightened.
 
#18
Confessing one's transgressions is a major step in the process of redemption in any religion that I am aware of. We are, as they say, "As sick as our deepest secret." Having said that, I think one has to VERY careful in picking a person to hear our confessional. I avoid the group scene. It is one thing to confess, totally another to give a group an opportunity to spread gossip. My wife would be the last choice. I happen to be Catholic (please, I've heard them all), so we have a priest. Even the Pope confesses, usually on a daily basis. But it could be a trusted friend, or simply a trusted person, of the same gender. Even on a non-religious basis, confession is a very cleansing process and is universely recognized as therapeutic necessity in mental and emotional health treatment. Just use good judgement in selecting someone to hear you.

Having said all that, way too much, I agree with Phil. Odds and Ends to me is still about tennis, but we seldom stay there.
 
#19
tnkGod4tns - When I was questioning a number of the practices of the church I *eventually* did join ... I had lunch with one of the leaders (with whom I had a fairly trusting relationship) and asked him those questions. He was very candid with me -- even telling me he'd had some of the very same questions. Try that.

I agree with those who've advised you not to seek these answers on some anonymous / impersonal Internet forum.

- KK
 

Phil

Hall of Fame
#20
Dedans Penthouse said:
You knew "the truth" about her? At that point, I'd say all bets are off; you should've put your bat-in-her-[SIZE=+1]b[/SIZE]elfry and slapped bellies with her.

The practice of "swapping in confidence" is imo, flat out wierd; and, sanctioned by a house of God no less?? We're talking "lay persons" not theologically trained spiritual advisors.

Who's the pastor? Fritz Peterson? ..... Mike Kekich?
Ahh...those wife-swapping Yankees of the 70's...twas a different time...maybe even a better one...sigh...
 
#21
Capt. Willie said:
RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!! Far away from that place. This practice will lead to nothing but trouble.
A thousand dittos.
Here you go to Church (the Roman Catholic, that is) on Sunday to attend the service. And that's it. If you're more religious you can attend services every day.
But confessing your sins to other people...having the Church (and not that I'm saying Church...not Religion) influencing your life so much...that's plain scary to me.

Guess it's diff perspectives...here Churches aren't organized that way...that they interfere with your personal lifestyle, as individuals...and boy I like it that way.
 
#23
Wow! I'm Catholic and the sacrament of confession puts you in private conversation with a priest who is in persona Christi. I still find it difficult, even though I realize the priest has TONS of experience discussing extremely private stuff, the most private stuff a person has. I would be reluctant to open myself up to people who don't have this experience/knowledge base. Not all people are serious or able to handle tough secrets! Ouch!
 

Tennease

Hall of Fame
#24
Wow I just watched a documentary about St. Louis, Missouri. There is a huge cathedral which is converted into a skateboarding park. Surreal !! Skating in a cathedral!
 
D

Deleted member 23235

Guest
#25
me and my wife have been attending this church for 3 years now and one of the practice that they encourage is to pair up with different couples of the church and meet on a regular basis, the church mainly encourage to be open in confessing your sins to fellow members, to your wife, and be open about whatever is going on in your life to fellow members, they also put emphasis on inviting people to church, sharing their belief in the bible..
that's the fastest way i've heard so far, to get me to stop attending/donating to my church
the JW's do that i think?
 
#26
me and my wife have been attending this church for 3 years now and one of the practice that they encourage is to pair up with different couples of the church and meet on a regular basis, the church mainly encourage to be open in confessing your sins to fellow members, to your wife, and be open about whatever is going on in your life to fellow members, they also put emphasis on inviting people to church, sharing their belief in the bible..
Ouch. I'm Catholic and I thought confession was hard. . . man, I would not want to be doing this. . . how forthright are you about your sinning?

This said, it IS a great idea to pair couples to meet regularly. Marriage is an institution very much attacked these days, consciously and unconsciously, and is worth defending as a source of human love and happiness.
 
#27
me and my wife have been attending this church for 3 years now and one of the practice that they encourage is to pair up with different couples of the church and meet on a regular basis, the church mainly encourage to be open in confessing your sins to fellow members, to your wife, and be open about whatever is going on in your life to fellow members, they also put emphasis on inviting people to church, sharing their belief in the bible..
Purity and Confession
Two other features of totalism are a demand for purity and a cult of confession. The demand for purity is a call for radical separation of good and evil within the environment and within oneself. Purification is a continuing process, often institutionalized in the cult of confession, which enforces conformity through guilt and shame evoked by mutual criticism and self-criticism in small groups.

Confessions contain varying mixtures of revelation and concealment. As Albert Camus observed, "Authors of confessions write especially to avoid confession, to tell nothing of what they know." Young cult members confessing the sins of their precultic lives may leave out ideas and feelings that they are not aware of or reluctant to discuss, including a continuing identification with their prior existence. Repetitious confession, especially in required meetings, often expresses an arrogance in the name of humility. As Camus wrote: "I practice the profession of penitence to be able to end up as a judge," and, "The more I accuse myself, the more I have a right to judge you."
https://culteducation.com/brainwashing1.html
 
#28
Today, the transformative logic of ganhua (感化) — the reformation of vile character traits through examples of moral superiority — underpins China’s education system, incarceration theory and even the work of the United Front, the C.C.P.’s shadowy influence machine, whose agents try to court or co-opt nonparty members and Chinese living overseas.

For example, inmates often are isolated when they first arrive in prison and then are gradually reintegrated into the group. They are slowly coerced into obeying prison personnel, thug-like cell bosses and reformed prisoners. Various tactics are deployed to that end, both inducements (more food, sleep or human contact) and punishments (deprivation, torture, ostracization). The experience of shame, guilt, remorse and confession is supposed to bring about the prisoners’ conversion and renewal. This process is intentionally destructive.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/28/opinion/china-reeducation-mind-control-xinjiang.html
 
#29
Oh, no doubt cults do try to find things to hold against you, use against you. I'm fortunate that this isn't the case and there is excommunication for priests who tell one's confession to others. At any rate, fwiw, here's my take. I go to confession to reconcile myself with God:



Confession Is a Sacrament
The Sacrament of Confession is one of the seven sacraments recognized by the Catholic Church. Catholics believe that all of the sacraments were instituted by Jesus Christ himself. In the case of Confession, that institution occurred on Easter Sunday, when Christ first appeared to the apostles after his Resurrection. Breathing on them, he said: “Receive the Holy Spirit. For those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven; for those whose sins you retain, they are retained” (John 20:22-23).

The Marks of the Sacrament
Catholics also believe that the sacraments are an outward sign of an inward grace. In this case, the outward sign is the absolution, or forgiveness of sins, that the priest grants to the penitent (the person confessing his sins); the inward grace is the reconciliation of the penitent to God.

Other Names for the Sacrament of Confession
That is why the Sacrament of Confession is sometimes called the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Whereas Confession stresses the action of the believer in the sacrament, Reconciliation stresses the action of God, who uses the sacrament to reconcile us to Himself by restoring sanctifying grace in our souls.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church refers to the Sacrament of Confession as the Sacrament of Penance. Penance expresses the proper attitude with which we should approach the sacrament—with sorrow for our sins, a desire to atone for them, and a firm resolve not to commit them again.
 
#30
Oh, no doubt cults do try to find things to hold against you, use against you. I'm fortunate that this isn't the case and there is excommunication for priests who tell one's confession to others. At any rate, fwiw, here's my take. I go to confession to reconcile myself with God:



Confession Is a Sacrament
The Sacrament of Confession is one of the seven sacraments recognized by the Catholic Church. Catholics believe that all of the sacraments were instituted by Jesus Christ himself. In the case of Confession, that institution occurred on Easter Sunday, when Christ first appeared to the apostles after his Resurrection. Breathing on them, he said: “Receive the Holy Spirit. For those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven; for those whose sins you retain, they are retained” (John 20:22-23).

The Marks of the Sacrament
Catholics also believe that the sacraments are an outward sign of an inward grace. In this case, the outward sign is the absolution, or forgiveness of sins, that the priest grants to the penitent (the person confessing his sins); the inward grace is the reconciliation of the penitent to God.

Other Names for the Sacrament of Confession
That is why the Sacrament of Confession is sometimes called the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Whereas Confession stresses the action of the believer in the sacrament, Reconciliation stresses the action of God, who uses the sacrament to reconcile us to Himself by restoring sanctifying grace in our souls.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church refers to the Sacrament of Confession as the Sacrament of Penance. Penance expresses the proper attitude with which we should approach the sacrament—with sorrow for our sins, a desire to atone for them, and a firm resolve not to commit them again.
I was responding more to the concept of group confession and the dynamic in the OP's church. The Catholic confessional system is based upon different dynamics, and I can see the beneficial aspects.
 
#31
I was responding more to the concept of group confession and the dynamic in the OP's church. The Catholic confessional system is based upon different dynamics, and I can see the beneficial aspects.
I tend to read a lot of history and especially ******* history, and it's interesting to read of planned communities and utopias, often with a nondenominational bent of some kind or another. These kinds of things go way back, not a 1960s counterculture thing, and you find a common thread of a dominant male acting as king, and often holding power not just financially but also through the mechanisms you mention. Here's a funny stab at it:

 
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