when playing with your spouse or significant other...
- Thread starter kennydoe
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TheMagicianOfPrecision
Guest
This is a fun thread, ive never done it but i would feel awkward either way...it would feel- just wrong imo.
Ken Honecker
Rookie
I don't know how to approach this. My wife is an unathletic 3.0 at best. Sporting little range but with the ability to hit the balls that come to her. I am more a 3.5 who occasionally flashes 4.5 of years gone by. I've played enough with her that I know what she is going to get and realize that she insists on hitting the balls between us (me in Ad court) with her puny onehanded backhand rather than letting me hack at them with my forehand.
Now there is one gal I play volleyball with that I have absolutely no idea which balls she is going to take and which she is going to allow to pass and then give me a look.
Now there is one gal I play volleyball with that I have absolutely no idea which balls she is going to take and which she is going to allow to pass and then give me a look.
jazzyfunkybluesy
Banned
I play at her level. Its no fun for her to just rip winners and make her chase the balls.
Cindysphinx
G.O.A.T.
My husband is a low 2.5. He has never taken a lesson, and he has only played one social doubles match in his entire life. Suffice it to say he doesn't play tennis.
Nevertheless, we will sometimes hit, especially if we are trying to think of something to do with our son. He has also come out with me and hit so I could work on something (getting used to a new technique). I can convince him to do this by telling him that if I don't get some practice I will have to pay a pro to practice with me.
I obviously try to get the ball right back to him, and I don't rip winners. It usually isn't much fun, honestly, because he is obviously so miserable doing this.
Nevertheless, we will sometimes hit, especially if we are trying to think of something to do with our son. He has also come out with me and hit so I could work on something (getting used to a new technique). I can convince him to do this by telling him that if I don't get some practice I will have to pay a pro to practice with me.
I obviously try to get the ball right back to him, and I don't rip winners. It usually isn't much fun, honestly, because he is obviously so miserable doing this.
Steady Eddy
Legend
We hit for fun and exercise instead of playing a set. We don't work very well as a team, so we don't play doubles against other people. One time we said let's quit after a rally of 20 and we went to something like 160! So the ball stays in play enough for this to be fun, or at least more fun that running on the treadmill.
My husband was a 3.0, I started at his level, but then his work got in the way and I improved faster. So playing against him was tough, as he didn't like to lose, and if I didn't do something different, he would have. But playing together, that was heaven. Anything from silly socials to USTA playoffs, we got along great. I guess with his death we will be forever undefeated in USTA play.
I'm now dating a guy who hasn't played USTA, but has coached his 3 kids well enough to make their high school teams. He's got a beautiful one handed top spin backhand, and can rip the ball. And he doesn't mind getting spanked by me in singles. Though he is hoping to someday get a set off of me. And if he keeps playing, he will. We haven't played much doubles, I'm guessing we will do just fine.
I'm now dating a guy who hasn't played USTA, but has coached his 3 kids well enough to make their high school teams. He's got a beautiful one handed top spin backhand, and can rip the ball. And he doesn't mind getting spanked by me in singles. Though he is hoping to someday get a set off of me. And if he keeps playing, he will. We haven't played much doubles, I'm guessing we will do just fine.
My husband is a low 2.5. He has never taken a lesson, and he has only played one social doubles match in his entire life. Suffice it to say he doesn't play tennis.
Nevertheless, we will sometimes hit, especially if we are trying to think of something to do with our son. He has also come out with me and hit so I could work on something (getting used to a new technique). I can convince him to do this by telling him that if I don't get some practice I will have to pay a pro to practice with me.
I obviously try to get the ball right back to him, and I don't rip winners. It usually isn't much fun, honestly, because he is obviously so miserable doing this.
And yet you continue to do it...
I think it all comes down to expectations... but if you are both just out for fun, and you don't appear to go out of your way to make her look foolish I don't see a problem. I have been on both sides of the net... had to deal with some interesting issues... but in the end everything worked out. Only if things got serious did things get a little heated, but isn't that like everything in life.
But "Yes dear, you are absolutely right dear" and "I will definitely try that, it was my error" usually fixes most things.
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tennisdad65
Hall of Fame
one word: DON'T
Cindysphinx
G.O.A.T.
When you've been married a very long time, even happily married, there are lots of things you do for the sake of doing them. Kind of like how I keep going golfing with my husband, even though I'd much prefer to take nap. 'Nuff said.
My fiancee is a beginner and, when we play doubles, I always play on the opposite team to her. That way I can be certain that at least one person is playing at a pace that a beginner can handle. I can serve gently to her forehand, get a rally going (she's a good hitter but, like most beginners, doesn't move very well) and make sure she gets a reasonable hit. We found that when she and I played together the other players would go hard to beat me but wouldn't slow it down for her. So she wouldn't get much of a hit and it killed her enthusiasm for playing. Also, I'd be overcome with the desire to offer unwanted and annoying advice instead of just offering encouragement.
Playing on opposite teams works much better and we always end up having fun.
Playing on opposite teams works much better and we always end up having fun.
Well actually... we have it worked out where she does the things she loves to do... and I do the things I love to do... and then we spend quality time when we are together. Nobody is or should be anyones everything.
I am sure she would have as much fun dragging me around running marathons as I would playing golf with someone that cannot keeping up the pace of a round. That does not mean I would not golf with her... I have and she has enjoyed it alot... does that mean she wants to play everytime I go out... NOPE.
I think she knows that when I go play tennis I like to PLAY TENNIS but that does not mean occasionally we cannot go out and feed her balls.
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Steady Eddy
Legend
sphinx780
Hall of Fame
why would we be talking about tennis? ;-)
I'm lucky here. My wife grew up playing in Germany and was probably the equivalent of a D1 college player in her 20's. Now at 41, she's a solid 4.5. She got me hooked on tennis in my mid 30's and playing with her has greatly improved my game since she is way more CONSISTENT and PATIENT during points than most men I know. I'm now a solid 3.5/weak 4.0 and can take a set from her here and there.
As for it's effect on our relationship... she definitely doesn't like to lose, but realizes I'm a good athlete can take comfort in the fact that she basically taught me from scratch!
As for it's effect on our relationship... she definitely doesn't like to lose, but realizes I'm a good athlete can take comfort in the fact that she basically taught me from scratch!
I play the same whether with my husband or against him. We've been together for about 10 years now. We met playing 7.0 mixed together when I had just been playing tennis for about 3 months. We played together all the time and he taught me a lot about playing doubles. About 1 1/2 years later, he got bumped up to 4.0, then I did the following year. We still played together most of the time at 8.0 level, but it got tough. I think my expectations were out of line. So we played 8.0 mixed a few seasons with different partners mostly. After a couple of seasons of not playing together at all, we played together again and did well. Then, I got bumped up to 4.5. We can't play 8.0 together anymore, but we can play 8.5 mixed together.
We play together sometimes for fun, and sometimes against each other for fun. We joke around and keep it in perspective. We played against each other in a club doubles tournament about a year ago and he and his partner won. It didn't bother me because if I couldn't win, I'm glad my husband did. There's no reason either of us needs to play any different whether we play against each other or with each other.
So we played 8.0 mixed a few seasons with different partners mostly. After a couple of seasons of not playing together at all, we played together again and did well. Then, I got bumped up to 4.5. We can't play 8.0 together anymore, but we can play 8.5 mixed together. We play together sometimes for fun, and sometimes against each other for fun. We joke around and keep it in perspective. We played against each other in a club doubles tournament about a year ago and he and his partner won. It didn't bother me because if I couldn't win, I'm glad my husband did. There's no reason either of us needs to play any different whether we play against each other or with each other.
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