A lot of good points made here. I remember a few years back a couple of pretty good 4.0 level players that were on my wife’s 4.0 team that worked a lot with the club pro. They looked really good and could hit those beautiful strokes when being fed easy shots and relaxed rallying and they took a ton of lessons.FiReFTW You are sounding more and more like TTPS even though it's probably not your intent. Someone who feels that most rec players bunt the ball, and you don't want to be like them. So you take lessons, try to accelerate your learning curve, and then struggle mightily with any sort of consistency when having to adjust to balls of different paces and not in your strike zone. Then you get upset and start threads like these or console yourself saying how most rec players bunt the ball in certain situations because your UTS12/13 buddy said so, how difficult it is to master shots, and so it's ok to not have any consistency because you are practicing "real strokes" as opposed to those other rec pushers.
As I said before, I know at least 2 guys in their early 40s (so at least a decade older than you), who play better than you despite starting in the last couple of years. You as usual assume they are probably doing that because they bunt the ball while you are playing beautiful strokes that have a higher upside. No such thing. Their strokes are quite good and have nice pace too. Granted both of them are pretty athletic and fluid like you are, but more so. However, I don't see either fretting about so many things. They practice, play, and move on.
Stop overthinking. Play more. Accept your losses and try to be a neutral observer in terms of where your strokes take you. Don't assume you have a higher upside because your strokes are more fluid. Despite what you believe there are a lot of rec players with good strokes. Maybe not having a personalized stroke that the rec player across the net has...the stroke or serve you deem ugly with a lower upside...might ironically be holding you back. You never know. Just enjoy the game and more than that..enjoy the process.
But come match time their strokes would break down when under pressure and having to hit all different kind of shots. I would hear them talk about how they have the better strokes and hit the ball harder than their opponent and can’t believe they lost. One of them got so frustrated that she ended up quitting and the other went strictly to playing doubles.