Wow i thought it would never happen to my family...a freaking cancer

D

dannyjjang

Semi-Pro
So.. my dad lives in Korea and works his ass off to support the family in United States.

Guess what

He was suppose to come after christmas

Apart for 5 years and now we are finally uniting.....

My dad had a little bone sticking out in his back

He didn't mind but it started to bother him.. so he checked several hospitals and found out that it was a CANCER!

What a shock... he got the visa was all ready legally to enter U.S

And that Fu cki ng cancer is in the way now

man i can't imagine my old man going through kimotherapy..So my mom is leaving tommorow and I am home alone and only thing i can do is pray...

The funny thing is...both my grandparents had cancer and my mom took care of them...So shes expierenced with cancer patients

Is God trying to test me?

Yes I am a Christian and I was the only one in the family neglecting my religion

Yes i watched porn, cheated in tests , **********d, cussd ETc

I just stop praying for yr and a half still went to church but i cared less...

I was so excited of tennis lesson but now i have to stop ....

I feel more guilty cuse I only cared about myself i never gived a damn what my dad was going thru
In fact I never had a thankful thoughts toward my dad

Now i am beginning to think the cancer is from the all the stress he got

only thing i cared was video games, hang with friends and to improve in tennis ..

is God trying to test me?

My church retreat starts the day he gets his surgery...wow what a coincidence...

Now i am trying to turn back to God and I feel like a snitch
a ***** actually

yr and a half i never even read my Bible or prayed
what now...

Man my dad is too young to die...
technically i only spend 14 yrs with him... wow desperation..
 
Well, hang in there and see what the doctors are able to find out about your dad's condition. There are stages of cancer and his may or may not be advanced.

As for God "testing you," life is testing your faith every day whether you like it or not. Bad things happen to good people and that is a consequence of living in a fallen world.

Hang in there. Pray and see what God's got in store for your life. It's challenge time.
 
My heart goes out to your family and your father. There are so many treatment options these days that cancer is no longer a necessary death sentence. My family has dealt with cancer as well and I know it is hard - the world of confusion you are currently living in will clear. You cannot blame yourself for your father's condition - cancer is an evil that strikes unexpectedly, inexplicably and does not choose it's victims. You can turn to religion but please do not feel that the abandonment of your faith has in any way caused this predicament. I do not believe any God would punish one for the actions of another. As for the rest, you are young and have been engaging in the normal activities that people your age do. I'm sure you now understand the sacrifices your father has made and it is never too late to thank him for this. My thoughts are with you and wish your father the fastest healthiest recovery. Peace~CC
 
I don't know much about cancer, but I really hope it hasn't spread throughout the body. It's not hopeless, so hang in there.

As far as God goes, there's no need to think that he created this situation just to punish you. Please keep your faith alive.

Being Korean myself, it hurts seeing another countryman like you suffer...so let's hope for a fast and steady recovery for your dad. My thoughts and prayers go to your family.
 
You never know what you have until you lose it. Seriously ask yourself this: why did you have to wait until something went wrong before you "pray for help". No matter what happens, never neglect those who are important in your life.
 
Swissv2 said:
You never know what you have until you lose it. Seriously ask yourself this: why did you have to wait until something went wrong before you "pray for help". No matter what happens, never neglect those who are important in your life.
Click to expand...

Wow - Danny hasn't lost anything and hopefully that won't happen. Why don't you save your sanctimonious lecture for a more appropriate time?
 
CanadianChic said:
Wow - Danny hasn't lost anything and hopefully that won't happen. Why don't you save your sanctimonious lecture for a more appropriate time?
Click to expand...

Is it snowing there where you live ? Is that why you are in every thread i read ? and long posts too and so many ? I wonder where people find the time ? No offense by the way, i just wonder where some of these people fine the time to write such long posts and so often.:confused:
 
Fedace said:
Is it snowing there where you live ? Is that why you are in every thread i read ? and long posts too and so many ? I wonder where people find the time ? No offense by the way, i just wonder where some of these people fine the time to write such long posts and so often.:confused:
Click to expand...

I guess if you've just learned to read, then yeah-a two-line post would seem "long" to you. Your post above was longer than CC's. BTW, where do you find the time to ask other people where they find the time to post here?
 
Phil said:
I guess if you've just learned to read, then yeah-a two-line post would seem "long" to you. Your post above was longer than CC's. BTW, where do you find the time to ask other people where they find the time to post here?
Click to expand...

I didn't mean that particular post but other ones that are 2-3 paragraph long. But i do think your posts are kind of interesting on politics and religion i mean, being a new guy, i didn't think i would find those in a tennis forum but i was pleasently surprised, i have to admit. I have been reading your posts with that guy named manboob and storm, interesting.
 
Fedace said:
Is it snowing there where you live ? Is that why you are in every thread i read ? and long posts too and so many ? I wonder where people find the time ? No offense by the way, i just wonder where some of these people fine the time to write such long posts and so often.:confused:
Click to expand...


Wow - way to make a friend so new in the game. You don't make a foolish stupid comment and say no offense. Not that it is any of your business, but I work twelve hour shifts and tend to post the most while I am at work. As for the rest I sporadically check my computer (which is always on) throughout the day for interest (when I'm home). I don't usually sit and post for hours on end - but come back to it. It is snowing BTW.. and I have tons of time as I have no kids and I'm on holidays. Coincidentally most of my posts are one or two lines, but apparently you haven't trolled the forum enough to realize that yet. Also I type very fast - but can make this longer for you if you'd like. Hmmm..wait for it fool.
 
Last edited:
CanadianChic said:
Wow - way to make a friend so new in the game. You don't make a foolish stupid comment and say no offense. Not that it is any of your business, but I work twelve hour shifts and tend to post the most while I am at work. As for the rest I sporadically check my computer (which is always on) throughout the day for interest (when I'm home). I don't usually sit and post for hours on end - but come back to it. It is snowing BTW.. and I have tons of time as I have no kids and I'm on holidays. Coincidentally most of my posts are one or two lines, but apparently you haven't trolled the forum enough to realize that yet. Also I type very fast - but can make this longer for you if you'd like. Hmmm..wait for it fool.
Click to expand...

Sorry didn't mean any harm by it, and thanks for the explanation about your life. and off the topic, why is this forum so much filled with federer fanatics ? and they all seem to hate roddick and nadal for some odd reason.:confused:
 
Danny,

There is nothing for you to be guilty about. God isn't testing you. You've got to get that out of your head. There is nothing you could have done about it whatsoever. If you have faith in God, use it to give you strength, don't use it to make yourself feel guilty. God doesn't inflict sinners with cancer. Think about it, jails aren't filled with cancer patients. Evil people live long lives.

Just do what you can to comfort your father. If you can go, then go. But don't act as if he's dead already. People survive cancer all of the time. Don't grieve for him already. He wants hope now, and you should do whatever you can to give it to him.
 
danny, i don't know you, but i can tell you that God isn't doing this to test you. Matthew 5:45 says: "for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust". this means that good things can happen to bad people, and bad things can happen to good people.

Paul said to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and this is certainly a time for prayer, i'll be sending one up for your family shortly.

keep faith, keep hope!

later
 
Hang in there, my friend.
My dad had cancer (stomach cancer), but it was detected on time, so he had a surgery to extirpate it, and he's perfectly healthy now. In fact, it was a good thing! He lost a little weight, and never got it back :)

Try not to over-think it, that's the worse thing you can do. Think positively: he will be fine :)
 
dannyjjang said:
man i can't imagine my old man going through kimotherapy..So my mom is leaving tommorow and I am home alone and only thing i can do is pray...

Is God trying to test me?

Yes I am a Christian and I was the only one in the family neglecting my religion

I feel more guilty cuse I only cared about myself i never gived a damn what my dad was going thru
In fact I never had a thankful thoughts toward my dad

Now i am beginning to think the cancer is from the all the stress he got

Man my dad is too young to die...
technically i only spend 14 yrs with him... wow desperation..
Click to expand...

God...this is so terrible...i know it's hard, but try to stay positive. I don't know the details, what kind of cancer it is..but if your dad has an operation scheduled it means it can be cured. As far as I know, they don't operate patiens whose cancer has metastized. And as long as that doesn't happen there is good hope. Like Trainer said-people survive cancer all the time. I know a girl who had brain cancer at the age of 21 and after surgery and chemo is good as new.

I am Christian (Catholic) too, and I'm also not being a role-model in terms of practicing religion,but I strongly believe God doesn't punish us. Don't feel guilty for anything. If you feel like praying will help you do it...it's not like you've betrayed God before and now coming back when you need help. I'm sure you're a good person, that's what matters...not if you read the Bible every day. And that's why you have the right to believe God will help.

I hope everything turns out good. Actually I'm sure it will. Try to stay strong.
 
aw man i hope everything gets better
my grandma used to have pancreatic cancer, but she got surgery and she got better from it
as long as the cancer hasn't spread, he'll be fine
:)
 
Fedace said:
Is it snowing there where you live ? Is that why you are in every thread i read ? and long posts too and so many ? I wonder where people find the time ? No offense by the way, i just wonder where some of these people fine the time to write such long posts and so often.:confused:
Click to expand...

maybe you're right, maybe not, i have no comment. but about the snow...

its december and there's no snow where i live in canada, very odd... thanks for global warming... in fact, i might even play tennis outside tomorrow... it was 9 degrees celcius today
 
Thank you guys for the support..
its funny cuse i feel uncomfortable talking to my friends
but i feel comfortable talking about the situation in talk tennis

I am a cheerful jokster guy and i dont really want my friends to feel like crap...

anyways i would really appreciate if you guys just give a 10sec prayer

my fathers name is Joo Hyun Chul

yes i would be praying to but it will take a while for me
since i never prayed for over a year...foolish..

thank you guys
 
Danny
Please don't let this experience 'trick' you into going back to a religion or ritual you don't truly believe in just because you feel guilty. Cancer happens to many many many people on this planet for many many many different reasons. Nothing you did or didn't do caused this to happen to your father. The only thing that you are responsible for is your behavior from this moment forward. Follow your heart and do what you truly believe. That is the only way you will find true peace in this situation, and you will only be helpful to your family if you are clear-headed. Please take care of yourself.

Peace. :)
 
federermcenroeagassi said:
maybe you're right, maybe not, i have no comment. but about the snow...

its december and there's no snow where i live in canada, very odd... thanks for global warming... in fact, i might even play tennis outside tomorrow... it was 9 degrees celcius today
Click to expand...

Global warming for sure, in 30 years, we won't have any ozone left and will have to wear sunscreen spf 5000. and all the costal cities will be under water. i guess goverments will wake up when their legs are half way under water.
 
Fedace said:
Global warming for sure, in 30 years, we won't have any ozone left and will have to wear sunscreen spf 5000. and all the costal cities will be under water. i guess goverments will wake up when their legs are half way under water.
Click to expand...

or their houses... lol but its actually true, unforunately
 
Oil shortage will hit us first. Maybe in 10 years, hopefully so we will have nothing to do with Middleeast any longer.
 
Fedace said:
Global warming for sure, in 30 years, we won't have any ozone left and will have to wear sunscreen spf 5000. and all the costal cities will be under water. i guess goverments will wake up when their legs are half way under water.
Click to expand...

Ulam said:
Oil shortage will hit us first. Maybe in 10 years, hopefully so we will have nothing to do with Middleeast any longer.
Click to expand...


As you can see I'm also new to the forum, hence I should not say any comments of which may intiate a flaming war, but I just think comments such as these seem disrespectable in a sense it is irrelevant in this matter...

Hey Danny, I'm also a korean whose name is Danny :) I noticed it is a trend for korean kids to have name Dan/Daniel/Danny..Anyways, first I like thank you for creating an opportunity for me to pray [for you]. It is so true that God uses "the least expected person" to reach out to people in need...I would have never thought that being on a tennis forum would create a "reason" to start praying again...
I also have been neglecting God in my life. Just like you I have not been praying for awhile besides those mere rountine prays before a meal. In fact, I have stop attending church as well..Sounds like an excuse but the church I used to go to is at least 50 miles away from my apartment and for a college student, I thought Sunday is too golden to spend time on one hour commute both ways then another 2-3 hours on service/social...Okay I just realized how pathetic of an excuase is to say Golden sunday yet not referring to religious perspective..Anyways my case is not as nearly important or serious as yours but I have been feeling similar like how you felt you are "consequently" being punished for neglecting Him. Last time I went to a tennis mixer, a theif broken into my car (he threw a brick into the passenger side window) and stole the laptop and the gps device (no the laptop wasn't seating on top of the seat, it was hidden under the seat and I still can't figure out till this day how the thief found it..) Funny thing is on the night I was driving out to the tennis mixer, I was on the phone with one of my good friends and I was telling her that I had a feeling something bad is going to happen because I neglect Him.
After that incident occured, I thought maybe I should turn back to Him. Then a week later, the Sunday I was "scheduled" to go to church, I went to a tennis practice instead...Guess what happen, on Monday morning I notice my car engine was frozen cold. Over the night the temperature dropped below 10F and I didn't have proper mixture of antifreeze in the cooling system to withstand the sudden drop of temperature. After I was able to defrost the engine block, I poured in proper mixture of antifreeze water and found out engine was leaking (more like pouring out) the water I just poured in...Which means either I have replace the engine or replace water pump and timing belt. Either way my car was immobilized. I thought I was being punished for not setting high priorities on Him.
Nevertheless, even in the midst of this superstitious "chaos" I was facing I did not turn back to him once, but reading this thread and you asking us to pray for your father truly encouraged me to pray for the first in this year. So I thank you. And Please don't lose hope, and pray all that you can (I think it best to ask for help from God, not from fellow TWers ;) ). It doesn't have to be a long hours of pray, start out with baby steps. Think of praying to God as having a conversation with God. Don't think of it as an obligation as being a christian.
I know I sound hypocritical; telling someone else to pray to God while I haven't pray in awhile until today. But I just hope that by trying to help others, I end up helping my ownself...

Sincerely,
Danny

P.S 힘내라!
 
Fee said:
Danny
Please don't let this experience 'trick' you into going back to a religion or ritual you don't truly believe in just because you feel guilty. Cancer happens to many many many people on this planet for many many many different reasons. Nothing you did or didn't do caused this to happen to your father. The only thing that you are responsible for is your behavior from this moment forward. Follow your heart and do what you truly believe. That is the only way you will find true peace in this situation, and you will only be helpful to your family if you are clear-headed. Please take care of yourself.

Peace. :)
Click to expand...


Great advice Fee!!
 
freelythinking said:
As you can see I'm also new to the forum, hence I should not say any comments of which may intiate a flaming war, but I just think comments such as these seem disrespectable in a sense it is irrelevant in this matter...

Hey Danny, I'm also a korean whose name is Danny :) I noticed it is a trend for korean kids to have name Dan/Daniel/Danny..Anyways, first I like thank you for creating an opportunity for me to pray [for you]. It is so true that God uses "the least expected person" to reach out to people in need...I would have never thought that being on a tennis forum would create a "reason" to start praying again...
I also have been neglecting God in my life. Just like you I have not been praying for awhile besides those mere rountine prays before a meal. In fact, I have stop attending church as well..Sounds like an excuse but the church I used to go to is at least 50 miles away from my apartment and for a college student, I thought Sunday is too golden to spend time on one hour commute both ways then another 2-3 hours on service/social...Okay I just realized how pathetic of an excuase is to say Golden sunday yet not referring to religious perspective..Anyways my case is not as nearly important or serious as yours but I have been feeling similar like how you felt you are "consequently" being punished for neglecting Him. Last time I went to a tennis mixer, a theif broken into my car (he threw a brick into the passenger side window) and stole the laptop and the gps device (no the laptop wasn't seating on top of the seat, it was hidden under the seat and I still can't figure out till this day how the thief found it..) Funny thing is on the night I was driving out to the tennis mixer, I was on the phone with one of my good friends and I was telling her that I had a feeling something bad is going to happen because I neglect Him.
After that incident occured, I thought maybe I should turn back to Him. Then a week later, the Sunday I was "scheduled" to go to church, I went to a tennis practice instead...Guess what happen, on Monday morning I notice my car engine was frozen cold. Over the night the temperature dropped below 10F and I didn't have proper mixture of antifreeze in the cooling system to withstand the sudden drop of temperature. After I was able to defrost the engine block, I poured in proper mixture of antifreeze water and found out engine was leaking (more like pouring out) the water I just poured in...Which means either I have replace the engine or replace water pump and timing belt. Either way my car was immobilized. I thought I was being punished for not setting high priorities on Him.
Nevertheless, even in the midst of this superstitious "chaos" I was facing I did not turn back to him once, but reading this thread and you asking us to pray for your father truly encouraged me to pray for the first in this year. So I thank you. And Please don't lose hope, and pray all that you can (I think it best to ask for help from God, not from fellow TWers ;) ). It doesn't have to be a long hours of pray, start out with baby steps. Think of praying to God as having a conversation with God. Don't think of it as an obligation as being a christian.
I know I sound hypocritical; telling someone else to pray to God while I haven't pray in awhile until today. But I just hope that by trying to help others, I end up helping my ownself...

Sincerely,
Danny

P.S 힘내라!
Click to expand...
True it is irrelevent to the thread starter. But it has nothing to do with this thread so it should NOT be seen as disrespect. Global warming was discussed mainly due to side tracked from this thread, NOT as meaning disrespect. you don't seem to be able to make the correct connections.
 
Anyone trying to find reasons for a cancer or understand how any particular person deals with it is urged to read Susan Sontag's "Illness as Metaphor" which deals with the irrational psychological burden people assume as a consequence of cancer and other devastating illnesses.
 
dannyjjang said:
So.. my dad lives in Korea and works his ass off to support the family in United States.

Guess what

He was suppose to come after christmas

Apart for 5 years and now we are finally uniting.....

My dad had a little bone sticking out in his back

He didn't mind but it started to bother him.. so he checked several hospitals and found out that it was a CANCER!

What a shock... he got the visa was all ready legally to enter U.S

And that Fu cki ng cancer is in the way now

man i can't imagine my old man going through kimotherapy..So my mom is leaving tommorow and I am home alone and only thing i can do is pray...

The funny thing is...both my grandparents had cancer and my mom took care of them...So shes expierenced with cancer patients

Is God trying to test me?

Yes I am a Christian and I was the only one in the family neglecting my religion

Yes i watched porn, cheated in tests , **********d, cussd ETc

I just stop praying for yr and a half still went to church but i cared less...

I was so excited of tennis lesson but now i have to stop ....

I feel more guilty cuse I only cared about myself i never gived a damn what my dad was going thru
In fact I never had a thankful thoughts toward my dad

Now i am beginning to think the cancer is from the all the stress he got

only thing i cared was video games, hang with friends and to improve in tennis ..

is God trying to test me?

My church retreat starts the day he gets his surgery...wow what a coincidence...

Now i am trying to turn back to God and I feel like a snitch
a ***** actually

yr and a half i never even read my Bible or prayed
what now...

Man my dad is too young to die...
technically i only spend 14 yrs with him... wow desperation..
Click to expand...

Hey, don't beat yourself up kid, you're just a sinner, just like the rest of us. If God is forgiving, then he's forgiving - end of story - prayers going your Dad's way.
 
Dan,

I wish you all the best.I've been through all that s**t last year myself with my mother,the surgery,chemo,rad,the works,and it was some hard times.But you have to try and think positive.My mother is healthy now.I never knew how strong she is before that happened.You have to remember your father loves you.No one is trying to "test" you.Nothing you did or did not do caused this.Don't spend any of your energy self loathing.Just be your father's son.
This is about him.
What concerns me though in your case is you being left all alone.Try not to stay in all day,feeling depressed.Make an effort to get out.Don't shut your friends out,this is what friends are for,let your friends be your friends.
Play tennis.Don't feel guilty about it.
Just be yourself,love your father and hopefully everything is gonna be allright.

My best wishes for your father.
 
dannyjjang said:
Thank you guys for the support..
its funny cuse i feel uncomfortable talking to my friends
but i feel comfortable talking about the situation in talk tennis

I am a cheerful jokster guy and i dont really want my friends to feel like crap...

anyways i would really appreciate if you guys just give a 10sec prayer

my fathers name is Joo Hyun Chul

yes i would be praying to but it will take a while for me
since i never prayed for over a year...foolish..

thank you guys
Click to expand...

hey Danny! first of all, thanks for sharing and giving those of us who do believe in prayer and its power, the opportunity to pray for you and your family. second - don't close your friends out. that is what true friends are for...they will be there for you....and WANT to be there for you if you will let them. this situation is tough, don't make it tougher.

now - to your words on praying. a prayer can be only a word...."Help!" - I know this personallly. And He IS faithful. You may feel thousands of miles away from Him, but when you turn to Him - he is right there. And PLEASE - as others have said...do not feel in any way this is your fault. We live in a fallen world. A world where evil exists. Cancer is part of that darkness. But God is faithful. And in the end, HE is victorious.

You are in a place now that you are more aware of His love for you because of the love and sacrifice your earthly father has exhbitied...and that you are now understanding and appreciating more fully. You know your earthly father loves you, despite the the shortcomings you professed. Your Heavenly father does as well. And even moreso.

A passage I have turned to many times of my father and mother both being sick (heart attack, cancer, stroke, blood clots, infections)....

This is from The Message - a Bible translation in modern English. It's Phillippians 4:6-7...

6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

You are in my prayers. Thank you again for sharing. It is not easy in any forum. I pray not only for your father's health, your mother's strength in helping nurse him back to health, but also for you that you can open up and share with your friends or those you may find at church....and for a willingness to let those people help you. You are NOT burdening them....you are allowing them to love you.

Peace brother - MM
 
What a coincedence. I'm also Danny and a Korean! and a sinner. Jokes, coincedence (fate) aside...

I'll pray for you and hope that indeed your dad has a healthy reading in the end. Aren't we all sinners. Maybe God is or isn't testing you (I can't determine this) just know that it isn't all your fault or anything.
 
Fedace said:
Global warming for sure, in 30 years, we won't have any ozone left and will have to wear sunscreen spf 5000. and all the costal cities will be under water. i guess goverments will wake up when their legs are half way under water.
Click to expand...

I see you're one of the many who believe global warming affects the ozone layer. It doesn't.
 
Fedace said:
Global warming for sure, in 30 years, we won't have any ozone left and will have to wear sunscreen spf 5000.....
Click to expand...

Wow, have you ever tried spf 5000? That stuff'll kill you!

Danny,
All love, compassion, mercy and prayers to you, your abba and your family.
As sportsfan92 said, don't feel guilt. Or worry. Self-loathing...well that's okay in very small doses, but man, worry will get you nowhere. Plus, this is not about you. Get off that right away.

All you can do:
  1. Pray for faith, love, peace, and a genuine and unconditional love for God's will and His grace.
  2. Thank your father for everything he does for you.
  3. Thank God for this situation. Yeah, that sounds strange, like loving your enemies, but this thankfulness is what MANY CANCER SURVIVORS feel. Of course, they also feel hurt, anger, denial, unthinkable pain and hate. But in the end, many survivors feel redemption, mercy, peace, and love. They thank God for everything. Your dad will, too.
Danny, your faith is a gift. By God's grace. Keep the faith.
 
Last edited:
Find a good doctor. Hopefully, it hasn't spread already. I would find a company performing clinical cancer vaccines, it is a good option, otherwise, it is like going to Vegas. It may cost a lot, but the results are showing more promise. Some clinical trials only take on advance staged cancer patients whose chances of survival ar poor, but new therapies continue to gain approval. Immunotherapy is the only way to keep cancer in remission.
 
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